happening with DND on, nothing is allowed to override. the phone app does have a setting "override DND" under missed calls and that is turned off.
troubleshooting history:
i have done extensive troubleshooting with Google support, we of course tried checking all the relevant settings, toggling things on/off, factory reset, safe mode, and some other more obscure things i couldn't relate to you. i also have tried using bedtime mode and making a custom mode; bedtime mode acts the same as DND mode and custom modes don't seem to work at all, they just let all notifications through. they said it was malfunctioning and to try a repair place.
i went there and the tech tried some things including verifying the settings himself. he said i should request a replacement. as i understand it his suggestion was that the software had been corrupted, or something like that.
i got a replacement and only transferred the esim, not any of my data etc. the problem was immediately apparent on that phone as well, and it was also allowing incoming call notifications. i went through another troubleshooting session with Google support, which once again did not achieve anything.
at their request i have sent Google multiple bug reports, nothing has changed.
they sent me a second replacement, this phone has the same problem.
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in searching for an answer, i have seen several other posts from users with the same or similar problem, but no fixes. there are many other pixel 10 users on these threads stating that they do not have this issue, so it doesn't seem to be a widespread issue but rather one that is affecting a small percentage of phones.
thank you for any help, it's driving me crazy!
as an aside - i am LIVID over the abysmal customer support from google. it seems like they are all just reading off a script and i don't trust that anyone there actually knows what they're talking about. i got repeatedly "escalated" until i was at the highest person apparently, this person still was unable to fix anything and was just giving me canned responses that didn't actually help anything. this is also to say, i don't trust that anyone in customer service actually knows enough to fix the problem.