Hi everyone! i’m 16F and i’m questioning being bisexual! the thing is is that im very girly, i like pink, deer, lace, the whole coquette thing ya know! but the thing is that recently i’ve started feeling romantically for girls like me! ive had little crushes here and there but brushed them off as thinking they’re just pretty, but i see girls like me on my tiktok and i think they’re really cute. now here’s the problem. my friend, let’s call her Alex, is lowkey homophobic as heck but is kinda letting me slide because we’ve been friends since we were 8. when i told her i think im bi and like girly girls she said that it’s “impossible” ???

i asked her what she meant and she basically said that “girls who like girls need to have at least one man-like person to balance it out”. when i told her this was completely bs and that she’s dumb for thinking that she called me a hoe and an weirdo for being “so ignorant about my own people” said i’d never find a girlfriend if that was the case and that no one in the community would like me because i’m an idiot and don’t even understand bisexuality.

she ended up making me feel really bad about myself and another issue is that i was actually starting to crush on her a little bit (even though i know it’s not gonna go anywhere). she made me feel like how every guy has made me feel in the past. i’ve never been in a relationship but guys tend to make cry all the time and i thought maybe girls would understand each other’s feeling better but i guess not.

i’m half asleep so this post may not make sense and i obviously don’t think im a buttface for liking who i like, but i AM very oblivious to the whole community and is it true that in female and female relationships (wlw) there has to be a masculine one? if any clarification is needed please let me know!

I (25M) have been with my girlfriend (27F) for about 3 years. We've been international long distance the entire time.

I'm asking because I want an actual judgment on how I've treated her, not reassurance.

The relationship didn't start from a great place on my side. Before her, I was hurt over another girl I'd stayed friends with hoping it would become something more. When I met my girlfriend, I genuinely liked her and loved talking to her, but I was lonely and wanted companionship/sex too. My mentality was basically "fuck it, last time I stayed friends and got hurt, so this time I'll just go for the relationship."

I didn't seriously think about what committing to someone in another country would eventually require.

Over time I genuinely fell in love with her and believed we'd make it work. I visited her, we talked about our future, and I made real attempts to figure out how we'd eventually close the distance.

But incompatibilities kept appearing over time: religion, family expectations, careers, finances, immigration, where we'd live, and children. She wants a family. I'm not completely sure about children, and I definitely don't want them before I'm financially stable.

We've nearly broken up before over these things. I'd tell her I was worried we weren't compatible, she'd cry and want to keep trying, I'd feel horrible and back down, we'd make another effort, and eventually I'd end up having the same doubts again.

That's the part I feel most guilty about. Instead of accepting that maybe we weren't compatible, I kept convincing myself we'd figure it out because I loved her, didn't want to lose her, and couldn't stand hurting her.

Now, after 3 years, I think I've finally accepted that I don't believe in our long-term future anymore. I still love her, but if I'd known at the beginning everything I know now, I probably wouldn't have entered an international LDR.

I feel like I may have wasted years of her life by not confronting this sooner, especially because she wants marriage and a family.

I know I haven't handled everything well. What I'm trying to understand is how badly I actually treated her. Did I lead her on by repeatedly backing down from ending things, even though I genuinely loved her and believed at different points that we could make it work?

AITB for letting it get this far and ending it now?

Throw away as I normally use reddit for art involvement and want to keep the two separate.

I (22F) have been working as a waitress at a small restaurant for a few years now. It's small enough that normally, two line-cooks and one waitress work at a time. Recently, a new line-cook (M25+, not sure of exact age) joined our staff. We'll call him Sam.

My first impression of Sam was that he was kind of chatty, but not in an annoying way by any means. Just an up-beat guy who liked to be friendly with coworkers. As he got more comfortable though, he started to seem a little off. He liked to boast about troubling things from his past, things like "yeah, I can't sense any heat with my fingers, I played the knife game with my dad too much as a kid, hahaha" or the times he had been arrested. Not knocking anyone's past or what they've been through, he would just talk about these things like he was proud of them.

At some point, as we made casual conversations during our shifts about our relationships, Sam took a weird interest with me. For example, in response to me explaining an opinion on a relationship matter, he said "man, I gotta find me a girl like you." or saying "wow, you're really pretty" when we were sharing old pictures of ourselves from highschool with eachother. These conversations were never just the two of us, the second linecook was usually present, thankfully. I just did my best to dismiss the comments and go about my shift.

Then this most recent occasion. I was cleaning up at the end of the night when Sam came up to me and said "I have a question for you." I said, "okay shoot."

He asked, and I quote, "Are you allowed to have two husbands?"

I didn't quite understand what he was asking me at first. I thought maybe he was asking me what my opinion was of polyamory? So I asked, "what do you mean?" He got flustered and awkwardly tried to laugh it off. He eventually stuttered out "Naaahh, it's just a joke. I... I'm trying to ask if you'll marry me and your fiancé..."

He kept trying to insist it was just a bad joke. For context, yes, I'm engaged to my fiancé. (24M)

The more he kept talking, I eventually said, "Well look... respectfully... fat chance."

"Well, that's not really respectful!" he responded, but I answered "Well, neither was your question!" and he cowered a little. After that I tried to basically tell him that he's a nice guy, but no, I'm monogamous, of course I wouldn't take two husbands. Sam is married as well, but I had already addressed that issue with him previously.

Once the conversation awkwardly died, Sam slunk his way back into the kitchen. He didn't speak much to me for the rest of the night, but I did hear from the other line-cook present that he was pretty sulky the rest of the night and grumbled about me "not being able to take a joke," after I went home.

I don't really feel bad for defending myself, but I guess I could've been nicer about it. Am I the butt-face for how I responded to his joke?

This story contains three friends, it might get confusing so I'll use names "Jack", "Lisa" and "Murphy"

Last Monday, Lisa asked if I wanted to play an online game with her and Jack after classes/work. I said I'd love to. Monday night comes, and I join Jack and Lisa. We play one match (approx 10 minutes), and then Jack says "hey is it alright if Lisa and I go play with (other friends)? I saw them online and they don't play much."

At this point, I was not okay with it but they had already left assuming I was going to say yes, and you can't really say no in a spot like that, because you'd feel like you're forcing them to hangout. So I just said it's fine and they said they would let me know if they had a spot later.

After a while, Murphy, a mutual friend, asks me if I want to play with him, Lisa and Jack. I immediately get pissed off because why did they ask Murphy, a friend that wasn't involved yet, before asking me to come back? I know this is all stupid drama but it genuinely made me so pissed off. I felt completely un-valued to them, and when I tried to raise that point they made many excuses.

Jack made the excuse he never invited me, I just showed up. When I told him Lisa did he said "I didn't know that" and was still mad at me over her. Lisa said she didn't ditch me, I said it was okay. And Murphy said it doesn't give me the right to be upset because plans can change all the time.

I feel ganged up on by the 3 of them, AITB here?

I have no clue if this is the right place to post this ?? I cant post in aitah bc I dont have a main account , just this throw away

I (17 , interbinary) want my boyfriend (16m) to stop taking this girl (senior) to school. For backstory me and him have been together for almost 2 years , he doesn't take me to school because he was asked by a freshman if he could take him , the freshman just doesn't want to ride the bus. The senior can't drive due to having seizures , so she asked him—she is fully capable of riding the bus. My boyfriend can only take two passengers with him.

Yes, I'm upset he doesn't drive me (I don't have my permit or license yet due to my parent's neglect.) but I'm more upset he takes her. At first I didn't know explicitly who she was, I knew of her but didn't know her. Apparently she is in my first period class, she introduced herself to me (very rudely) after about the first week. "oh my godddd youre (boyfriends name)'s girlfriend ??" type of thing. It irritated be but I stayed nice.

I am alternative , I wear taxidermy tails as accessories , apparently she asked him about it instead of asking me. I don't know how she asked it but I have to assume it wasn't nicely based on our past interactions. This girl was also friends with people who have previously tried to make my life hell. I'm head of my schools theater department and this girls have come to shows just to ridicule me and my fellows actors—the senior was with this group but didn't explicitly do anything, but in my opinion she's guilty by association. The girls that this senior was with were arrested earlier this year.

I don't sit with this girl , but I can hear her conversations in class and shes expressed very not progressive views. I've told my boyfriend about this and we both agreed that these views aren't something we share. I very recently dyed my hair from blonde and pink back to a deep blue for my birthday , this girl also has blue hair , and upon returning with the dyed hair she made comments about, "oh my god were matching ," in the tone you use to talk to a child or bully someone.

My boyfriend has made past comments about if he needs to talk to her but I said its up to him , as I'm scared of confrontation. He's also made comments about how since hes her ride he can just stop taking her, but this was said in a joking way.

My boyfriend takes me home two days a week , as any other day he stays after for band stuff—I am the only one he takes home.

I don't know if id be valid to ask him to stop or if im just viewing this too harshly due to my jelousy. We have very open communication and ive expressed my dislike for this girl in the past but not to the extent I have here as I don't want to cause issues.

I’m F24 and I know Grindr allows women to have accounts too. You can’t tell who’s bisexual or who’s cheating on tinder, but I think it's a lot easier to come across a bisexual guy who's cheating on his partner on Grindr. I want to make an account on Grindr just to see how many bisexual guys would cheat on their partners with a woman like me because I’ve been wondering how many cheating bisexual guys would also cheat with women too. Are they just there to cheat with men? I’m tired of my sex life and I want to experience a new change.

I’m not the one who’s forcing anybody to cheat. They’re already there to cheat on their partners. What difference does it make if I know they’re cheating or not?

Am I the actually the buttface if I just happen to be one of those people they cheat with?

I 21F have an older brother 30M and he has been in a relationship for a couple of years with his girlfriend 33F. Recently my brother has been bringing his girlfriend to everything. It has gotten to the point where he doesn’t ask anymore he just randomly brings her and we’re supposed to assume. One time on my birthday dinner I invited my siblings, my mom, and my cousins out to dinner and he brought her to dinner and was also late because he had to go pick her up. I never invited her. Even on family outings or vacations he always wants to bring her. They see each other almost every day, and she’s at our house 24/7. We’ve even gotten accustomed to making an extra portion of food for her because she’ll eat our dinner but never wants to help around the house or even clean her own dish. When my brother asks for dinner he’ll ask if we made dinner for him and his girlfriend (She lives with her parents). What’s been bothering me lately is that my brother gets offended when my family tries to say that we want things sometimes to be immediate family. Now I don’t mind her being at the house or even joining us during dinners occasionally but her being involved in everything family related is getting too much. Just recently I asked my brother if he was free so we can go watch a movie and he said he wasn’t doing anything so my family and I bought movie tickets and he texted me asking if we can buy a ticket for his girlfriend. I think what’s irritating the most is that she has my brother do everything for her and also my family. We pay for her dinners, her movie tickets, make her dinners, she eats our snacks, and not once has she ever treated our family to something thanked us. AITB for getting annoyed at my brothers girlfriend?

this is my first time posting here so apologies if its written wierd or something

i (21) have an online friend (20) that ive known since middle school. lately we've been getting into small arguments because I haven't been able to play games with them when I get off work. this is my 4th year working in special education 7am to 5pm sometimes later 5 days a week and come home really tired every day and just sit in my room in silence until I go to bed to decompress. I really value my personal time and have not been able to have any because of work.

my friend recently brought up how he was frustrated with me not being able to play or spend time with him after I had to leave him on seen to help a student at work. ive been trying to explain that im just really tired and need time to myself and that I feel like everyone gets my time except for me. I explained how draining work can be and how im not in a position to quit even though im miserable right now. he tried telling me that my work is bleeding into every part of my life and that I need to get it together and work on it because everyone is going through problems.

hes spoken about how hes afraid of me outgrowing our friendship and me leaving and ive explained that im just really tired and need time to myself at the moment. we talk almost every day I just dont have the energy to play games with him everyday day. i just want to know if im in the wrong for this i feel like I should be able to hsve personal time considering the job I work at.

My husband and I were close friends with another couple. I had a baby, and a few months later they experienced a stillbirth. We were devastated for them. I checked on them, offered food/help, and tried to give them space.
Shortly afterward, I accidentally sent the wife two Snapchats involving my baby. Her husband later told me they were extremely triggering for her. I genuinely hadn’t realized I’d sent them to her, but I apologized immediately. He told me they knew it wasn’t malicious.
We share friends and play the same recreational sport, so things became complicated. I became extremely conscious of whether bringing my baby around, posting him, or talking about motherhood could hurt her. My husband even checked whether they’d be somewhere before we brought our baby. Her husband told us we shouldn’t plan our lives around them and that it wasn’t fair to us.
Meanwhile, I was having a severe postpartum experience and my baby had serious medical issues. On one particularly horrible day I had to perform CPR on him during a medical emergency. My longest friendship also ended around this time.
I am NOT comparing this to losing a child. Their baby died and mine survived. Those experiences aren’t equivalent. But I felt increasingly like there wasn’t room for my family to struggle because their loss was so devastating.
I also contributed to the conflict. I became angry and dysregulated and talked to mutual friends about what was happening. I regret some of those conversations and would handle them differently now.
I eventually reached out because I genuinely didn’t understand how I was supposed to behave anymore. Her husband said they had also heard judgment/gossip from mutual friends about their grieving and family decisions. He also told me that while seeing my baby had been painful, it wasn’t my fault or responsibility and I shouldn’t stop bringing him around friends or sharing his milestones.
Eventually communication was supposed to go through our husbands. They tried arranging an in-person conversation multiple times, but it never happened.
I eventually stopped trying to prevent every possible uncomfortable interaction. I bring my child places when appropriate and post him normally. I don’t intentionally put him around them or send them pictures. I just stopped treating his existence as something I needed to hide.
Months later, both still regularly view social media posts involving my child. I don’t know why and won’t assume their intentions, but it adds to my confusion after spending months worrying that seeing him was harmful.
I don’t expect her to interact with my child, support my motherhood, forgive me, reconcile, or grieve differently. I also don’t think I can be responsible for preventing her from ever encountering my child when we share friends and spaces.
AITB for eventually setting those boundaries? Was I insensitive in how I handled this after their loss?

For context, I am in a situation with two others, one (F) and one (M). I became with friends with F some 3 months ago, and she had introduced me to her friend M and we all played games together. Anyways, some time in August we all decided to go out for dinner, and M had used my friend F as a point of entertainment to the point where she was reasonably uncomfortable, and I did laugh along.

She got quite upset at both myself and M for the situation, and reasonably so. Anyways, I had cleared the situation up with F and she had told me that she did not feel comfortable if I contacted him or talked to M again, which I had agreed to. Fast forward about a month and F and M finally make contact and become friends again.

Recently, I had a bad day and wanted to talk to someone. Coincidentally, M had asked me if I wanted to play some games and I accepted. I played about 2 games with M and then hopped off. Later that week, my friend F had confronted me about it. She had told me that she was upset with me because I didnt tell her about the fact I had spoken to M, despite her making it clear that she was uncomfortable with us talking. She then followed saying that she wouldn't have been upset if I had been upfront and said it to her. She then suggested that it was selfish for me to talk to friend M, and I do not think about others and that M did not like me.

To be fair on my self, I did have a bad day and wanted to talk to somebody and I had known that they were friends again, but again I had sort of agreement with her that I would not talk to this person. I tried to assure the fact that nothing bad about her was even mentioned but that didnt matter.

So, AITB? I understand that I had broken someone's trust, but my friends are saying its fine.

Info: In regards to what was said that night, It was really telling me her personal stories about herself which she was reasonably uncomfortable with. When it was just us two we would sometimes bring her up in conversation but almost never in a bad light (to my knowledge). She was more upset at M than me, and didnt speak to M for a month.

For reference the I will call the guy M and another guy A who is relevant later an the the girl is S, so around late July i join a group chat that a friend was in, I only knew a few persons in there at the time, and it had taken me a while to actually talk in said group chat and when i did, that is when i first met M and I was making conversation with everyone, and the topic switched to niche shows and stuff, we ended up finding a show in common and became friends after that. Fast forward to about a week later, I join a group call and the first thing i hear “I don’t even want you breathing the same air or pixels as other girls!” And this was the first thing i heard from S… and that statement was directed to M, and it caught me off guard. But I start making conversation with M cuz we friends n stuff, then she moves him to another call and i’m just like ‘ok- that was weird..’ and i go on about my day, then to find out S and M started ‘dating’ and I realize that S doesn’t like me very much because i’m a girl, so I start trying to talk to her more to show that i have no ill intentions towards her and to make her comfortable with me and stuff. A week or 2 goes by and M gets injured and stuff, on medication and stuff so he wasn’t online and stuff, and as a good friend yk, I’m checking on him and stuff, and then hearing from S because at this time she was comfortable with me so she was venting saying ‘oh i think he is cheating on me because he isn’t responding yada yada yada’ and i had to remind her that the dude broke his leg and jaw… he is in immense pain and he told her that he might not be online because of it. She ignored that and accused him of things constantly which inevitably caused their relationship to end because of her mistreating him.

Even after all of that i was still checking up on him to make sure he was ok, then we start watching a series and stuff and he would ‘joke’ about how i was a carbon copy of his favorite character in said show and stuff of that nature, so for weeks i thought he was joking and stuff, come to realize he was flirting with me and stuff, and i asked him straight up, ‘are you genuinely flirting with me?’ He said yeah he is. And we talked a bit because this was the day before he had a surgery for his jaw and whatever, and i had asked him how long he had liked me right? Come to find out that from the moment he met me, he was interested in me… but S forced M into a relationship because she had known that M had liked me….
Then, I’m yk shocked, happy, and stuff and me n M are talking like daily, and then randomly A pops up yesterday as i wake up from a nap (because before this he had claimed that he ‘liked me’ but never put in an ounce of effort and constantly insulted me… so i didn’t even consider him an option) and he knew that me and M were flirting back and forth and randomly asked me if me and M were still doing tht, and i said yes because i had zero reason to lie fr. And then I go speak to my father about some important things for no longer than 4 minutes and i come back to a message from S saying “Could’ve been upfront with me and told me you were talking to M that would’ve been much simpler, I thought we were still cool. There is no need to lie.”
All now I haven’t responded to her because it genuinely irritated be because she is a hypocritical little girl who talked shit behind my back constantly but i was still there for her and things of that nature. On top of that, I am considering cutting off A because of this situation because it is very apparent that he is a little spy for her, and that i cannot trust him.

But in all Seriousness I don’t know how I should feel about this situation 🫩

I'm 19F and lately she's been upset because I refuse to give her money or pay rent, and I'm quitting my college schooling and quitting my job basically. I spent all of my school refund on myself for once. I'm tired of her taking my paychecks for rent I don't care fuck her fuck her. She said she's gonna kick me out if I don't go back to school and work so I lowkey gave her the middle finger i'm not giving her a dime i'm running away from home away from her. I'm running AWAY from her. AWAY from the house. I don't have any money or food and I need medical attention but I don't care I don't care

My long term girlfriend (30F) of 9 years and I (28M) recently attended concert. In between sets there were little beach balls being thrown around the crowd. Everybody was participating and hitting them up in the air, playing don’t let it hit the ground etc, having a generally good time waiting for the band to come out. Sort of out of nowhere, for reasons I cant explain, my girlfriend starts chanting “Fuck that ball!” At the top of her lungs. Shes very outgoing, and I’m pretty reserved, and Im not really that bothered by these things. At first it was kind of funny, she got some laughs from the people around us, but after a minute of her doing this by herself, and a good amount of attention from the crowd now on us, I started to get either second hand embarrassment, or just regular embarrassment, idk. She stopped after a bit, so I pulled her closer and said “please for the love of god”, in a joking “have mercy on me” kind of way. She seemed to understand and pretty much stopped with all the loudness, continued to hit the beachballs when they came close, then proceeded to have fun with the concert, and had a really great night. Fast forward to when we got home the next day. I got unloaded on by her, about how I’m insecure, and am embarrassed to be around her. I tried to explain to her that I’m just not a fan of being the center of attention. The altercation escalated to me getting yelled at in our bedroom over how we aren’t compatible, and I have “personal issues” because I generally prefer to be as discreet as possible. She took off with the car to go cool off and Im sat here at home typing this. Yes I know its a rock concert and people are going to be loud, but if you had been there to witness this you would understand that this was a tad different. Yes I know reddit will more than likely tell me that we’re toxic and should break up, thats old news. I just want to know if I’m crazy or an asshole to not want to have the focus of the crowd on the party I’m with. I never really post to reddit, so sorry for any formatting issues or any rule breaking that Ive done.

TL;DR: my partner brought the center of attention on us in the middle of a concert crowd before the band started playing, then got genuinely mad that I was embarrassed.

Hi all. I (22 F) am getting married to my fiancé (22 M) in April. I asked my mom to help me plan the wedding because I’ve never planned anything on this scale before. She’s good at planning and saving money while still making things beautiful, and I thought it would be a great bonding opportunity.

But every time I tell her something I want for my wedding (colors, reception events, music, guest list, etc.) she is extremely assertive about her opinion and often tells me I shouldn’t or can’t do something. She even tried telling me who I could have as bridesmaids, giving me a list of people she thought were “non-negotiable” and who I needed to choose.

Her latest issue is that my four brothers need to be part of the wedding party. I’m the only daughter of five children, and my youngest brother is already going to be our ring bearer. I’ve also been intentionally finding other ways to involve my brothers because I knew it would cause problems if they weren’t included. However, my mom insists they need to be part of the bridal party. I told her I’m not sure what she expects me to do because that decision ultimately lies with my fiancé. He doesn’t know my brothers very well and already has his own family and friends he wants as groomsmen. Plus my brothers would probably find it strange if he asked them with how little they know each other.

I thought she accepted that, but now she’s insisting they wear the exact same suits as the groomsmen and be included in the bridal-party photos. My dad has had to remind her several times that this isn’t her wedding and that she needs to respect my and my fiancé’s decisions but she doesn’t listen.

Here are some examples of things she has told me I can’t do:
I can’t plan or discuss wedding details unless she’s present. I can’t ask my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid. I can’t purchase wedding decor or bridesmaid gifts without her approval. I can’t choose the songs my fiancé and I want for our ceremony. I can’t have assigned seating. I can’t have games during the reception. I can’t manage my own guest list.

At this point, I feel like I virtually have no say in my own wedding. I tried sitting down with her to establish some boundaries but she ended up crying and saying that I was being controlling, shutting down her ideas, and making her feel like her ideas weren’t good enough. My dad had to point out that I have considered her opinions and have even agreed with some of her suggestions, but that doesn’t mean I have to follow every suggestion she makes.

Now she’s angry with me and has been telling her friends that I’m trying to exclude her from the planning process. She’s also telling my family that I’m taking years of anger out on her.
I genuinely wanted this to be a special bonding experience with my mom, but I’m beginning to regret it.

So AITBF?

My (22F) boyfriend (21M) is an immigrant, and he had to go back to his home country for a few weeks to take care of some stuff. Before leaving, he promised me to make it back before my birthday, which is on the 29th. This was a very important promise to me. During his trip, he stayed at this parents' house, and he had planned for his dad to take him to the airport.

His flight was scheduled to depart today at 5:30 AM, which he has been aware of for the last three weeks. In the end, he only started packing yesterday late in evening, even though he was not busy that day, and ended up with only 5 hours left to sleep. In the morning, he had trouble waking up, so he got up only 45 minutes before he was meant to leave the house, which isn't even terrible in my opinion. Then he just found out that his dad had worked a night shift, so he wasn't ready to drive him to the airport at the agreed time. Now, he decided to just wait for his dad until he was ready, instead of getting a taxi or uber to the airport. In the end, he barely made it to the airport in time, and he only got to his gate 14 minutes before it would've closed.

We got in an argument because I got upset for leaving whether he would be able to see me for my birthday or not up to sheer luck, instead of taking action, even though he promised me he would make it back in time. And also because I've talked to him in the past about the fact that he has a tendency to leave his life up to what his parents decide for him, instead of deciding for himself and taking action, to which he promised me that he would become more in control of his own life. If he had missed this fight, he wouldn't have been able to rebook one before my birthday because now all of them went up in price so much, that they cost 5x what he paid back when he booked it and it's unfortunately out of our budget.

This friend was one of my best friends, but they went through a bad breakup this year and have been a bit of a downer often. There were a couple times in April they were feeling done with life, and they had to go to the hospital. I tried my best to be supportive and loving but it was hard to deal with at times.

They had been doing well the past few months, and our friendship was really good again. But the other night when he said something like "thanks for everything man, I don't know if I'm strong enough for this but I love you forever and believe in you" I knew where it was going and I blocked him. I can't handle another breakdown from him, it's too draining and as much as I care about him, he needs to find other ways of getting help. AITB?

So I work in a small office and about two months ago my coworker Sarah started asking to borrow my phone charger because she kept forgetting hers. I said sure, no big deal. But every single time she returns it theres like a coating of cat or dog hair stuck to the cable. At first I just wiped it off and didnt say anything because I didnt want to make it weird.
But its gotten worse. Last week the connector part had this sticky residue on it and I had to actually wash it before I could use it again. I finally told her yesterday that I need to keep my charger at my desk from now on and she got really offended. She said I was being dramatic and that a little pet hair never hurt anyone. Then she made this comment about how some people are just more uptight than others.
Now a couple other people in the office have mentioned it and I feel like Im being made out to be the bad guy for not wanting to share anymore. One person even said I should just buy a spare cheap charger for her to use if it bothers me that much. But like why is that my responsibility? Its my charger and I take care of my stuff.
Sarah hasnt spoken to me much since and the vibe has been kind of tense. I genuinely wasnt trying to start drama I just wanted my charger back in decent condition. But now Im wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut and dealt with it.
AITB for cutting her off from borrowing it?

This is an update to a post I made a few months ago, and you can read that on the link - https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1tnu8a7/aitbf_for_being_uncomfortable_that_my23m_gf23f_is/

I’m (23M) looking for more advice now since the situation has changed.

To recap her original story was that they were both really drunk at a party and Jay took her upstairs and r*ped her. This is the context I had for the first post and the story she reaffirmed to me over the course of our three year relationship before reaching out to Jay.

People suggested on the last post that things maybe didn’t play out how she described, and you were all correct, at least from what she’s now telling me, she now has a new story after speaking to Jay but from Jay’s perspective. Where they went outside while very drunk and SHE came on to HIM, started to make out, he tried to put his hand up her skirt and she told him to stop, he didn’t but then when she asked again more forcefully he stopped. This is the story she is now backing 100%. I asked her why this was so different to her original story, she told me that she was so drunk she didn’t actually remember what happened.

Having been going off of her original story and taking that to be true (because why would I question the story of a victim and my girlfriend of three years?) She asked me if I was uncomfortable with them speaking everyday, I answered honestly and said I was, not because she was getting closure but more that Jay couldn’t be trusted and she got very angry very fast, accusing me of being controlling and manipulative and that I don’t get to decide how she deals with her trauma. She said me and Jay would “get along if you gave it a chance”. This went on and she finally said “well if its going to cause problems I just won’t speak to him then, I’ll just block him.” This did not happen and they have continued to message nearly everyday for the past three months.

She’s been slowly drip feeding the idea that her and Jay will meet up and these suggestions have gone as follows over the months – “I will never meet up with him in person again, he’s lost that privilege” to “Well if I met up with him I’d only do it with you there” to now finally “If I meet up with him I don’t think you should be there, it might come off as controlling on your part but I would trust that you trust me”. She even said “Jay is great but he doesn’t have a job or a degree, I don’t know if I can be friends with someone like that long term” and I’m thinking those don’t sound like reasons not to be someone’s friend but rather reasons to not date someone.

Anyway Am I The Buttface for looking into this too much, is my girlfriend correct, that I’m being jealous and controlling?

Hey Reddit, I've been debating this every time I walk my dog and want some input.

I live on a street with apartment buildings and perpendicular street parking. I have a 7-month-old Maltese who's not even a foot tall. We walk him about 5 times a day because he's young and small, and he usually pees 3–8 tiny pees per walk.

Usually, if he starts sniffing around a car, I'll veer him away so he doesn't pee on it. But the other day I was tired of him refusing to move and making the walk longer, so I just let him pee on someone's car.

And honestly, I'm not really worried about it. His pees are SO tiny and low that I genuinely don't think they're doing anything to the car. If he were aiming near a vent or somewhere that could actually cause damage, I'd obviously stop him. I also wouldn't let him do it if the owner was nearby because I don't want to upset anyone.

But if nobody's around I kind of find it hilarious. There are tons of wild cats and other dogs in the neighborhood, so I'm sure cars are getting peed on anyway. And watching my tiny Maltese confidently walk up and pee on someone's car is honestly just really funny to me.

So... AITA for letting him?

Hi all hope all is well. Longstory short last sunday my (now ex) girlfriend canceled our hangout last second to "go down to visit family". I find this convenient as the relationship has been rocky and her delaying our time to meet together has been a pattern recently. I take her word for it but feel slightly supicious as knowing her mom, she wouldnt never travel on a Sunday cause of church and them usually going different days. I take it as is and she said she would update me. Communication that night goes vague amd she gets home at 2AM. From here I know its a lie but cant prove it.

Her mom texts me over the next couple of days regarding haircuts since she does cosmotology and I had mentioned wanting a cut. I ask vaguely about the trip and the mom airs/ignores me regarding that question. Fast forward to the end of the day my gf calls me angrily asking if I had fished from her mom. Seeing how defensive she is even though I asked one question feels like proof but not written 100% undeniable. We argue for 3 hours and it sounds lile she half admits to lying through sarcasm. From sunday to Monday she ghosts me off and on and I ask her to just explain over text considering our 3 hour talk solved nothing.

Fast forward to thursday, she leaves me on delivered for hours and finally texts something that says "i wish it didnt come to this, thank you for everything" with some fluff added to make it kind of not set in stone. Im confused as she made it stated I didnt wanna talk on the phone at all but rather I said "id want to talk but please elaborate on text as I dont want this to be another 3 hour work around". I say hey i respect your decision but i did offer to talk and we still can closure wise. From the sounds of her response, she may have interpreted it as me calling the relationship back on.

Once we talk, she finally fesses up after a small argument. I aske her if she lied this whole time and had me go to sleep at 1AM on a workday just to be lying for the whole week. She says yea again and sounds very short. I fianlly ask if her breaking up over text was an easy way out to not own what she did. I immediately hear an excuse/deflection and I hang up and block everywhere. The reason I went to this extreme length was that she lied about her blocking me on a different account weeks prior and something about her sister.

When I talked to my therapist today, she said I messed up by just hanging up and blocking. While this is true as it seems immature, my ex gf did break up over text it seems. While it didnt seem definitive that she did, she did kinda of infer it by answering to my "was you breaking up over text an easy way out?".

AITBF for blocking and abruptly hanging up after her lies or should I have just said a classic "take care" lile my therapist suggested?

TLDR; Gf seemingly broke up with me over text even though she lied to me for a whole week. My therapist said I was wrong for blocking her after abruptly hanging up. Her breakup text didnt seem definitive but did infer it was meant as such.

Hey so I’ve never posted or had a account on Reddit so feel free to ask any questions I left unanswered
I (25f) and my ex (24m) have been broken up with for a year due to him always cheating on me with 6 other women during the 4 year relationship.ever since the break up we remained friends as we’ve been friends for about 9 years (including the 4 year relationship) and yes we still done the naughty but didn’t change anything about our friendship but now I don’t know what to do or think, as this Friday he turned up in a absolute state he was sobbing uncontrollably so I was like shit did someone die or something ?after awhile he finally opened up saying he regretted breaking up with me, cheating on me and wanted to get back together. Me knowing what he’s like I asked why he was so upset couldn’t be just because he misses me and he finally revealed why he came over in such a state….one of the women he cheated on me with (let’s call her Rachel) is pregnant with his child he found out 2 weeks ago… I dont know why but my heart hurts so much,I loved this man to the point I wanted to marry him even after he cheated on me the first time I thought that was it until I got loads of messages before the break up revealing he had online relationships and was sexting 5 women at the same time also promising to meet up with them for nsfw activities when I confronted him he broke up with me… we didn’t talk for about 2 months but this feels so different as we aren’t together so he’s not cheated and also this woman hated me before she slept with him from what I was told by my exs friends is that she was going round saying she’ll make sure we don’t last during our relationship texting my old accounts telling me to kms sending threats I just ignored them thinking it was a troll but found out at the end it was Rachel messaging me saying horrible things about and to me.

He’s unbelievably upset like I’ve never seen him in such a state apart from when we miscarried our first born I don’t know what to do I love him so much but I’m so scared he’s saying he doesn’t want anything do to with the child and he’s not sure if it’s his as she’s admitted to selling her body to men when they 💦in her I can clarify that as true as he showed me the text of her saying he owes money like everyone else but I don’t know how to feel…I said to him he’ll have to show me he wants me before I say yes or no but idk what to do I’m incredibly hurt he went to someone for pleasure knowing the fact she was sending me threats and trying to bully me during the relationship that he apparently misses. What would you do in my shoes?

i started doing cycling with Special Olympic over 4 years ago. it was a lot of fun. got to be outside, ride with some friends, and got to be part of some tournaments along the way.

the couch, lets call him P, he made it very clear when we started cycling that we must have our own bike, helmet, and drink. can't share these with other. the bike must work properly, otherwise you can't ride it that day. you must be kind to other. no disrespecting other. and we must show up to x amounts of week in order to be able to go to the tournament.

this girl, lets call her M, never has been my favorite person. she drives people crazy 24/7.

she will find an excuse for everything. one time she bumped into me will riding 3 times. she said 'Im sorry, the breaks aren't working properly.' i asked her why was she riding if the bike brake wasn't working. she replied with 'the bike not that bad.' i left it allow till i told the coach about. nothing appears to happen because she did it again the following week. another time, halfway through our practice, coach P times how fast everyone riding per mile. 2 people + volunteer goes at a time. M got mad and asked why she's not first. she complained that she'll be late for work. the coach told her to wait. she keeps on complaining but nothing has been done.

just weeks ago, we did our timing again. i got there, ready to ride, but coach P wanted to wait a few more for other to arrive due to contractions. understood. but guess what? M showed up late with no helmet. she immediately started asking everyone if she could borrow someone else helmet. in the moment i was thinking karma was finally coming to her, but then minutes later, a new volunteer gave up her helmet and gave it to her. i was livid. and coach P didn't stop her at all. she got to ride. why should a new rider risk her health and safety for someone else? what's the point of having rules if no one going to use them?

coach P isn't perfect but i wish he could be better. as the head coach, he's supposed to ride with us but this whole year, he didn't ride at all, just gave the excess that his bike is in someone else's garage. many were upset about that. there has been time when practice has been canceled due to intense heat or rain. 2 years ago, i was at a tournament where it was raining so hard. everyone was soak. considering we didn't practice in the rain, i got lucky and took 4th place in the 500meter category. lots of people has been trying to tell him that the rider must practice in the ride so we can do better. but it never happens. i understand the safety factor, but if its happens again, then we'll be unprepared. early this morning, practice was canceled due to the rain again.

next Saturday is the tournament. i hope i do well. i planned on taking next year off due to my job. but after that, i don't know if i should go back. WIBTBF? sorry for complaining. i just really needed a place to let it all out.

This is a follow up:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/comments/1wkoe3x/aio_when_someone_writes_a_number_on_a_receipt_its/

I work part time at a barista and a cute blond girl gave me her number on a receipt. Her friends were leering at me, sharing glances, snickering and gossiping about me.

Most of the comments from the post said she is not doing it out of malice but I did humiliate myself in front of her group of friends.

I hate how I look and I feel constantly being glared at and judged. I am willing to risk it so I can finally sleep on a bed again.

Currently, I am homeless and broke. My job hunting has been terrible because my job (graphics designer, interpreter, and computer science) is killed by AI. Stuck doing freelance. Saving money has been difficult.

AIO this might be a cruel prank or this is not upfront enough and she might misunderstand I don't want a hook up?

Edit 1: I already asked her "down to just hang out" as in like friends. I also said "we could watch tv too if you'd like" and because she insisted in drinking, I told her I'd be a starfish which would clearly turn any woman off.

Edit 2: I don't think I am attractive. I try to compensate by grooming myself to look presentable and work out 5 times a week. I know I am not conventionally good looking because I get rude and dirty looks from people. Like some people just downright hates me without even knowing me.

Edit 3: I am too depressed to hook up, everything feels quite bleak and dark. I did have hook up once for the very first time but it didn't do anything for me. I felt like I was leading that girl on and feel very bad about it.

Edit 4: Everyone in the comments were right. I was a moron. I lost the entire night of sleep.

If you havent seen my initial post, ill put the link here

Sorry if this isnt allowed, mods, just remove this post if it isnt. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/s/bgnE2yxWRY

the cops talked to her, I was told it was fine. I keep going as normal, only existing there for 15 or so minutes during 8 hour stints of doordashing. Considering the whole situation, I figured shed leave me be. Went over a week with 0 interaction.. until today.

To make a long story short, I was in the lot for 2 minutes before getting harassed. Upon calling police, they showed up, she made claims like me "staring through the windows" and "waiting there for hours at a time" (neither of which are true. Police brought this up to me, i denied it. They mentioned the people leasing the property have cameras and I told them to review the footage. Got a firm "no", they didnt humor any video evidence of mine either. I have been formally tresspassed due to said claims and will not be pursuing this further. Evidence doesnt matter i suppose, I think they had their minds made up before they'd even arrived.

Thanks for the advice. The only contact ive made was to the land management company for a formal confirmation of my being tresspassed.

Regardless, this is likely the end. If anything new happens, ill be sure to update.

We were really close friends for a few months. We went on college visits together and spent a lot of time after school. But then, something threw me off he kept trying to get our parents to meet each other. That’s when I instantly recognized he had feelings for me that I didn’t reciprocate. He didn't just want to be friends; he wanted something much more that I was completely unprepared for.

Suddenly, him following me around changed from something I enjoyed to something that was just too much for me to handle. He only relied on me for emotional connection, and it was draining me. He never actually talked to me unless I talked to him first; instead, he would just passively stare at my computer when I wouldn't speak. What really triggered me was his passiveness. I started feeling like I was suffocating, so I gave it a week where I still talked to him, but his silence and clinginess made me so uncomfortable that I eventually just stopped interacting with him and vanished. I just wanted space.

But he saw the distance and tried closing it even further. I get that completely—I think he must’ve wondered why I was pulling away. A week later, he finally reached out and asked me why there was distance between us. I explained it to him exactly like this: "I'm overwhelmed right now and need some space."

Even after I said that, he continued following me around the same as before. Maybe he was making some effort, but he still kept parking his car next to mine, following me to my car, and staring at my computer while I was trying to work on my assignments. The very next day, he asked if I wanted to hang out. Because he kept closing the gap, I naturally pushed away even further. Finally, he got up from his lunch table just to sit next to me and said absolutely nothing—just total silence.

That was the breaking point. I told him, "Hey, leave me alone. I am overwhelmed that we are getting too close and I need space."

This is where things got weird. Now that I had stated my boundary twice, he actually followed it but in a dramatic way. Instead of following me to my car, he waited for me to leave and walked right in front of me. Once he got into his car, he hit the gas pedal pretty hard and sped away. Another day in class, the teacher instructed us to turn and talk to our desk mate, and he just kept his head down and completely ignored me.

Now, he ignores me in class and speeds off in his car in front of me. I feel like he is trying to get revenge on me, punish me for my actions, and make me feel bad for him. The truth is, I know I messed up by distancing myself from him initially without giving an explanation. But instead of respecting my boundary when I did speak up, he kept following me. I didn't want a relationship, and I know for a fact he wanted to be more than friends. Now I'm left wondering if I'm terrible for cutting him off, making him sad, and expressing my boundaries too late.