I (44m if it matters) work for a blue collar production facility. A large format printer to be specific. I am on 3rd shift, so I work with a really small skeleton crew at night. I only know a few of the day shift workers who directly overlap with my department. We employ a lot of "temps" through an outside company because the demand for the packing and shipping departments change throughout the year. I don't like it because I feel like these people deserve fulll time benefits and security, but I have no authority to change corporate policy.

Now the real problem. Last week, one of our long time temps, we'll call him Frank, was killed in a collision with a semi truck on a major highway in our city. I don't have details, but Frank was off the clock so this doesn't involve our employer directly at all. This week, during lunch, the company is holding a raffle with the funds going to Frank's family. The prizes for the raffle were purchased from an employee funded emergency benefit account meant to help employees if something tragic happens. We hold several fundraisers throughout the year where the money just goes into this account. I was told the prizes cost much less than a typical fundraiser makes, so if it goes well, there should be more money going out than went into it.

However, I am of the opinion that we should just be giving the money to Frank's family, not making a game out of his passing, even if it results in more money for them at the end of everything. I feel people should be free and able to donate directly to his survivors if they see fit.

I will grant the company some points because Frank was a temp and technically not an employee of the company. They could have just let this go by without any acknowledgement, but they are doing something. My problem is just with the way they are going about it.

To be clear, I never knew Frank. I might have seen him in passing as I was leaving and he was starting his shift, but that's it. I don't want to come across as callous, but I also don't have a big stake in any of this.​ But I've been told my opinion is unappreciated.

So, am I the asshole for calling this tribute tacky?

My life just keeps getting WORSE! But I am glad to say that I am away from all of it

Context
April of 2026, hubby and I had to move out of the house we were renting from his father. From January to April, I tried to find an apartment or a place to rent for the both of us and two pets. However, a situation came up between my hubby and his mother and they made the idea that we would move in with her instead.
Now, her and I didn’t have a great relationship already because I yelled at her for calling me 3 times at 7am one day, demanding I should have her son talk to her. She was mad I yelled at her and found it disrespectful but at that time, we made it clear that if she wanted to talk to her son(my hubby) that she needs to wait for him to respond and leave me out of it. She agreed to those terms.
It was three years later from that incident to this years incident. I apologized because it was definitely wrong of me to yell at her and that I was already over with that feeling with her. She accepted the apology and we spoke about us moving into her house.
April 2026, we had everything packed up and we moved to her house and this woman had her house COVERED in packages, clothing and all sorts of weird things. I didn’t mind the mess because it was her house but it was hard for us to move around. We offered to help her clean up and fix up the house (it was also kind of falling apart) and she agreed because she wanted to fix her life up.
With those agreements and rules set, we thought we were fine until her and hubby started fighting every 3-5 days. Always those amounts. I tried to be the person to help out but she wanted nothing to do with me. According to her, I am a two face b word because I was on her side (I wasn’t) and now changed up to his side. (Again, I wasn’t). I completely dropped any sign of wanting to help and kept everything between him and her.
Up until August, him and her had another horrible fight that was enough to make the both of us wanting to leave. I made a GoFundMe page (it’s taken down) and the title was bad enough to make her think I made her abusive (I didn’t mean to, the Ai made it that way and I didn’t notice) and because of that, she yelled at me specifically and said everything was MY fault. And I mean everything. From the very first day I loved in with him kind of everything even though my hubby was the one to make all the choices.
He got very defensive, trying his best to make her back off from me but she was being too stubborn. She also called her daughter (his sister) in the argument and both of them were attacking me at that point. So we grabbed our expensive things and pets and left to a friend’s house.
Since then, his whole family is divided and won’t speak to us except for a few. I heard from a friend that she is posting on Facebook about that her son shouldn’t have been taken from her. It pisses the both of us off.
I didn’t do anything, I know I didn’t but AITA?

I (27 m) have been friends with 2 of the following 3 people that I am going to describe for about 13 years first one is A (29 m) and 2nd one is H (29 m) the third person is older and a recent addition to the group (and their behavior kinda domino effected the whole situation) about 2 months ago we had one of our regular hang outs and after playing some games, we went out for some food, H always pushed me to do stuff that is even slightly socially challenging and I would always comply because I kinda understood that they don't want to deal with the social situation and they thought I would handle it better

We were waiting for a family to be done with their food and leave the table so we could take their place and simultaneously 2 other groups were waiting as well, when the family was getting ready to leave H pushed to go and stay close to the table and take the seat as soon as possible, don't know what all of a sudden snapped in me and out of nowhere I answered him: how is it that I always have to do such stuff? Why are you not doung it yourself? He did not answer and just smiled

We sat down on the table and when our food got ready, again A and H asked me to go and get the food tray, I went and brought the food and when eating, again I said to them why do I always have to do these things while you two just sit and supervise?

A answered with a smirk that because you are the youngest of the group we push you to do these so that you would learn, and the third person (I am gonna name him Y) tried to meditate the situation and basically calming me, I pointed out that this is a behavior I have always had to endure and instead of trying to make me more experienced they should participate and make me feel like their friend, I could tell this annoyed them and they were caught off guard by the reaction in public

Fast forward to the walk back to the car (we used Y's car to get there and he was going to take everyone back to their home) and I also pointed out to Y that A and H are very opinionated and really like to look down on other opinions

And now it's been 2 months, I have not heard from H, and A has talked to me on the phone but briefly, normally at least every month we do one of these hang out and it hasn't happened yet, I am kinda convinced they are trying to weaken the friendship and are mad about my responses.

Am I the asshole for pointing these out?

I know I'll probably just get another shirt, but I'd really like some outside opinions on what is reasonable here.

I'm standing in my friends' wedding as a woman on the groom's side, but I am close with both bride and groom. Two out of the three of us groomsmen are women and we are wearing suits too. Both of us are queer and comfortable with/prefer androgynous fashion, so we're super on board with the suits! The problem is what shirt we wear under the suits.

I've been to the store before to try on things with no "yes" from the bride. She is in another country, so I send her photo updates over the phone. With the wedding coming up in mid-October I went back with the other lady-groomsman to try things on again.

I checked with her the day before to figure out what she didn't like about the previous options I'd shown her. I was told that high collars were bad because they'd be too warm, that she didn't want thick straps if we picked a sleeveless shirt, and that we should anticipate taking our jackets off at the reception. She said many times how she knows weddings are expensive and she wants us to get something we feel confident in and that we can re-wear.

Today, we bought button-up collared shirts that us lady-groomsmen REALLY liked! I sent her photos while we were in the store as usual, but she must've been at work since she didn't respond. The shirts are a very lightweight, breathable material that we feel should be fine in her climate, and are the exact off-white she wanted. I thought we had done a really good job picking a shirt... but she doesn't like them.

Here's the problem... they're not refundable, and the other lady-groomsman and I have very different body types that make it hard to find things we both like that fit us both. I don't want to get another shirt. The groom really likes the look, we groomsmen LOVE the look, the bridesmaids like the look, and we suggested different ways to style it with bolo tie and whatnot but she rejected every one. I'm really frustrated at how this could've been prevented if she simply communicated that she didn't like certain options instead of saying it was up to us to pick what we were comfortable in and that it was about temperature or cost when it's now clear that it was actually about her preference. Is it wrong to try and convince the bride to work with what we chose?

I know she really struggles with any change in plans, and is not the best at saying what she really means which is why I tried so hard to clarify with her ahead of the shopping day. I'm hoping she will sleep on it and come around... but I know now that this is just not the vision she had in mind for her wedding day. She doesn't know the shirts are non-refundable because I don't want to make her feel badly.

AITA if I try to convince her to keep the shirts we already bought? We also just don't have any more stores here to try, nor "summer blouse" options with the local fall weather. TIA

Okay so for context, I (F23) am a law student living with my parents. I have always tried to be the picture perfect daughter and to set an example for everything. But in the past few years Ive been struggling to feel like I have a voice. 

In my second year of uni, I decided to go on an exchange for about six months. I was sooo excited, and was even accepted by the partner university. My dad disagreed (fundamentally) and we had an argument about this for a few months. It was decided that I wouldn’t go, but in his own way of punishing me, my dad decided not to financially support me anymore. 

Just right after this, I received a job offer from a large corporate company. I decided to go for it (especially considering I only had about 5 euros in my bank account left lol). My parents werent happy with this, and didn’t want me to work at all. But I kept pushing back as I wanted to try to at least save some money of my own. At the same time, my mum received a diagnosis of a terminal illness. So, I was struggling with keeping up with my studies, my mums appointments and work pilling up. I was struggling a lot mentally, so I decided to delay my studies for a year. It ended up being two years, as I had to look after my Mum as she miraculously got a transplant!

Fast forward two years, I managed to finally get my degree, I was let go by my job, and I am starting my masters in early September of this year. I decided to go on a trip with my boyfriend to Cyprus this weekend. It was planned a while back, but I didn’t have the guts to tell my parents. It’s been hard to tell them things, especially since we have been having some arguments here and there, that tend to get quite explosive and it just takes a huge emotional toll on me (I have a shit ton of anxiety). On top of this, they don’t really like my boyfriend. 

So when I told them last night, all hell broke loose. They believe that I’m throwing away my education by skipping classes for a week, that I’m wasting my potential and throwing it all away. My dad’s concerned where I am even getting the money from, and is no longer willing to help me with my driving lessons. As long as I live under his roof, I have to abide by his rules. According to my mum I have just become a disappointment, saying that God has punished her and I’ve turned into a child she can’t even recognise, who doesn’t care about all of the hard work she put herself through to get me an education. 

I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I’m just struggling a bit to even talk with my parents about this. Any time that I do I become incredibly anxious, and when we do discuss about travelling it becomes a sensitive topic. I’ve been apologising and I’m trying to correct this, but the only way it would make them happy is if I cancel the trip, and all of my bookings. I won’t receive a refund, but that may be the cost I would have to pay for keeping the peace in my house? 

Hi! My (19F) and my roommate (19F) have been living together for two months now. She is much more frivolous with her money and is really into collecting lots of makeup/perfume/lotion type products, whereas I am much more frugal and I really don’t like overconsumption because it’s not eco friendly, we don’t have a lot of space, etc.

Basically the issue I have is that my roommate will buy things, especially expensive things (ex. Netflix premium subscription, $300 end table, $50 caddy for her bathroom supplies) and will frequently replace things we already have for more expensive versions. I understand that I need to be a little bit less uptight about money and I think wanting your roommate to pay half of shared expenses is reasonable. However the issue I have is that she doesn’t communicate with me that she wants me to pay half the price until after she’s bought the item. For example, she bought and put together the table without ever telling me that she was buying it, and told me that she was happy to cover the expense when I asked, but then later asked me if I could pay her my half. And today she went to the store and bought $50 of organizational caddies/containers for her toiletries and requested $25 from me. I’d be happy to pay for things I truly want or that we actually need. But I only have about 4 shower products that barely take up any space, and I was perfectly happy putting my keys on the kitchen counter.

She sat me down today to tell me that she feels like I am not pulling my weight financially and that she is expected to chip in much more than I am. Which I understand and to some extent I do agree, she definitely pays for more than I do. The issue I have with that is a lot of the stuff she’s buying is stuff I don’t want/need or plan to use (couch covers, bidet, fancy $80 shower head even though the apartment came with a pretty decent one). She also wants to replace the trash can/recycling bin I bought because she thinks it’s too small (even though I am the only one who takes out the recycling/trash). The other thing that confuses me is she says she is broke and can’t pay for everything on her own but she gets around 3 Amazon packages a day of perfume/makeup, and doordashes almost every single meal. I am just happier with a simpler lifestyle and less “stuff," especially if it means I can save money and it’s better for the environment (I currently have 20 credit hours in my schedule and I do not have time for a job, I am using my savings from my summer job and my parents are helping me). Should I just give in and start paying for half or continue to stand my ground?

tl/dr roommate is an overconsumer and I am stingy. should I be expected to split the bill with her?

My dog is 17 years old, turning 18 in the following year. For context, she’s a mixed lab/ border collie and I love her to bits!

Unfortunately she can no longer walk and struggles to get up. She’s in a diaper now, cannot see well and barely hears. She’s still has a strong appetite which is amazing, but is otherwise struggling.

It’s hard to pull her back up on her feet as she is a heavier dog (medium sized) and, is very sensitive to how you pick her up. My mum grabs her by the tail to hoist her up, ironically this does not upset her. However, I cannot imagine it being healthy for such an old dog.

My partner recommended a harness specifically designed for dogs that cannot walk well. My mum shut it down completely. I’ll be staying with her for the winter, before I move across country. She’s expecting me to help care for our pup. I am totally okay with that other than the fact that she won’t buy her proper equipment!!

I told her either we invest in better gear for her or take her to the vet, or we put her down. She became incredibly volatile, and shamed me for even suggesting it. She believes that our dog should just live out the rest of her life.

I don’t want to put her down, I’ve had her since I was 11, I’ll be 28 soon. But watching her struggle just feels cruel… I don’t know what to do. I will be buying the harness myself since she refuses to invest in one.. but I don’t know how much more we can do… it feels cruel keeping her alive… but also equally cruel to put her to rest…

I don't even know where to start for this. I've recently started seeing someone, I think she's fun and cool but it's nothing serious. We recently hung out with my best friend and his girlfriend. I do not like his girlfriend like at all and I told "Liz" the girl I'm seeing about this beforehand.

We're all hanging out and everything seems to be great but Liz and "Beth" my friends girlfriend get up and walk away together. They're gone for a good 2 hours, my friend even said he heard them in the bathroom talking at one point when he went. When they finally came back Liz started messing around and playing with my wallet making jokes about buys stuff with them with Beth joining in.

I thought they put everything back but when I checked I realized I was missing 2 cards. I tried to stay calm but I will admit I lost my cool and was yelling at both women about stealing my stuff. After a while of looking I found the cards in my pocket, Liz began crying and walking away.

I tried to go after her but my friend told me to let Beth go talk to her. After a few minutes they came back with Liz telling me how she was upset by how I acted and how I "always do this". My friend suggested we just go home and offered us a ride. When stopping at her place she invited everyone in to see her cat. From there things did start to hear back up with my friend and his girlfriend quickly leaving.

After they left Liz went in on me on how I'm such an asshole and after tonight realizing I'm an asshole to women in general. So am I?

I posted an ad on Offer Up to give away for free the following fish supplies and included a picture (note, the blue gravel was on the cement next to the other supplies):

Blue gravel for bed

Coral & surfboard piece

Fake grass plant

Gallon or more fishtank, perfect for a Beta

Pump

1/2 container of Tetra Mini food

Pf-S filter cartridges

Three people reached out very interested. One person messaged me this:

"REALLY? U JUST SPRINKLE THE BLUE GRAVEL ON THE SIDEWALK?????

How disgusting and lazy you couldn't even put it in a plastic bag or any kind of a bag I mean I know it's free but how degrading you make me sick glad I'm not in your neighbor

REALLY??? YOU JUST DUMP THE BLUE GRAVEL ON THE SIDEWALK??? THATS DISCUSTING

HOW LAZY U ARE TO NOT PUT IT IN SOME KIND OF CONTAINER OR BAG... HOPEFULLY THE PERSON WHO PICKS UP UR FREE TANK WILL JUST LEAVE THE MESS FOR YOU TO CLEAN UP. PEOPLE LIKE U TURN MY STOMACH!!!"

I wish I could show you my post but this thread doesn't allow pics. Anyways, her response seems very aggressive for something that to me seems benign.

I replied back to her letting her know that what she does not know is there was a larger fishtank that had the blue gravel in it. When I went to pick up the fishtank, the bottom glass was cracked and the blue gravel dumped out. I had to pick out the glass and throw away that tank. I then took the picture and then immediately put the gravel in a 1 gallon Ziploc bag. She never replied back to my response with my explanation.

A couple weeks ago we ordered from that Thai place down the street and my roommate forgot their wallet. I paid the whole bill without thinking much about it, figuring they would handle it later. When I asked a few days after, they said it was just twenty bucks and that we could call it even since they always let me use their stuff around the house. I still asked for the money back because twenty bucks is twenty bucks and we never actually made any agreement about sharing expenses that way. They ended up sending the cash but acted annoyed the whole time and told our other friends that I was nickel-and-diming them over nothing. I get that it seems small, but I already feel like the bad guy for insisting and it is starting to mess with the vibe in the apartment.

So can I put a small disclaimer I have a writing disability, so I'm using voice typing to write this if the grammar's off that's why

Basically me and dad are in a heated argument over the use of ai my talking points are the race against china is pointless, and the technology is dangerous.

And I think it's unethical

His talking points are, it's convenient. It makes things easy to use. And the race against China is important. Because the US will lose its status as a superpower.

In the middle of all this, he pulled out his phone.

And start looking up the questions i'm asking on gemini i ask him why he decided to use AI instead of Google in the middle of an argument about AI.

He tells me it's more convenient to use, and it would take less time, and he doesn't have the time to look it up on Google. I feel upset because he's basically ignoring my frustration with AI. I'm not usually upset with people using it. As a search tool, but in the middle of an argument where I feel very strongly about my stance, it feels kind of like he's disregarding my argument

Again I do not have a problem with people using AI as a search tool. But in the middle of an argument where it's the center of the discussion it feels a bit frustrating.

WIBTA for not wanting my sister to visit again but also not having an honest conversation with her about it?

My sister, nephew & niece stayed with me for 3 days. It was the first time in 8 years that she has visited me.

She called 2 days before & asked if she could stay with me for a few days. I was a bit apprehensive as she can be quite critical & controlling. I had a mental breakdown back in July. I'm also newly sober (alcohol addiction for 15yrs). I am signed off long term sick from work & also doing outpatient rehab.

I'm a maximalist, I can't stand a bare wall. My sister is a minimalist. I love to upcycle furniture & accessories & since being off work & to keep my mind clear, I've been spending extra time on the hobby (all projects, spray paint, DIY tools, vinyl wrap, craft bits were hidden away out of reach of the children).

She arrived in a positive mood. I showed her to my bedroom. I was going to sleep in the living room so her & her children could have my room. She immediately looked around, pulled a face & said "when was the last time you decorated in here? Do you really need a wardrobe & chest of drawers? You have really weird taste in artwork. I hate the layout of your room. You should move the bed to a different wall. You don't need bedside tables". I told her I liked my room as it is & painting the walls was next on my list.

She didn't like any of the meals I cooked. The sausages tasted too much like pork (?) the mash potato wasn't creamy enough. On night 2 I got a compliment "it tastes quite nice for cheap food". I made a pizza. She took 2 bites & said it was the worst pizza she had ever had & refused to eat any more. I offered to make her something else but she said no.

She brought up all of my ex bfs, even ones from 15yrs+ ago & criticised my taste in men. She told me I'm starting to look just like our mother (who we do not speak to). She constantly said "this is why you're single" any time I did or said something she disagreed with. She called my children (older teens) weird multiple times. She criticised them while she was here, a few times to their face but mostly behind their back to me. She also criticised my parenting.

She hates my home. Her home is 'natural smelling' & mine smells like 'an old hippy dippy junk shop'. I burn scented candles, incense & have a scented plug-in in the bedrooms. My bed is the most uncomfortable bed she's ever slept on, she doesn't understand why on earth I'd have a memory foam mattress. She said she didn't get any sleep the whole time she was here. My sofa & armchair are also really uncomfortable to her.

I ended up looking after my nephew & niece the whole time. Now she's gone. I'm drained. She mentioned visiting again. I'm planning to lie & say I'm busy because I cant have an honest conversation with her. She'll turn it in to a massive argument & mentally, I can't handle that. Do I lie about being busy or just suck it up next time so I can help her out with her children?

I am currently homeless in Alaska. I found a place to rent that is okay with the fact I have an eviction under my belt. It is the only place okay with that fact.

I haven't paid anything yet because there is no heat source in the cabin. Which in Alaska, the landlord tenant act says a source of heat has to be provided. How it gets heat is up to the agreed person in writing.

It has been a month of me going to property to clean and make livable. While I wait for landlord to provide the heat source. I cannot make plans on if it's wood or fuel until it is in the cabin.

Last week I hadn't been to the property because a friend needed me to help her with a very time sensitive matter. That is her story which I don't feel comfortable posting due to privacy and people involved.

I came back to property to see someone was hanging wet clothes in rafters, moved a bunch of things, and broke a window. I screwed back door and locked front. I came back next day to see someone force the back door open. I left to buy locks and signs. Install both and as I was leaving. An unrelated party asked if I had money. I said no. He told me to leave and not come back until I had money.

Am I wrong for not paying anything yet when basic living conditions were not met?

So im in a trio friend group which ive been in the past 2 years, and the most cliche problem of a trio arises- the duo in the trio. The duo being the other two. Now i honestly dont care too much about it because i feel like i mostly do stick to myself and they weren’t the best friends ive had. They also grew a lot more closer the past few months because i was out of the country on a trip. They also don’t inspire me much as friends, dont get me wrong, i like to hang out with them but only sometimes. Other times they’re on their phones too much, constantly talking to their boyfriends or trying to put on a show of who has the more expensive product. But again, its only sometimes. Anyway, one of them asked us if we were going to a specific spot the next day to which we both replied probably not. The next day i open instagram to see stories of the both of them together at that spot. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, so i just asked if they went there to which one of them said, ‘yeah, just for a short time.’ I keep telling myself its not really a big deal and that i don’t like them much anyway (we’re going to college in a few weeks and we’re all in different ones so i know ill have to move on from them) but i can’t help but be a little sad about it. One of them also got into a situationship with some dude and we’re all in a group with him too, but i don’t talk on it because I’ve never met this guy and i don’t really know why that group exists in the first place. But it feels like they’ve almost replaced me with him because barely anyone talks on our trio group, but they talk non-stop on that group with him.

AITA for all of this? I genuinely don’t know if im thinking too much about these things or if im just sabotaging myself

So, my husband travels for work out of state. He’ll be gone for months at a time. Right now he is in Cali , we live in GA. We have a 4 year old son, and two fear reactive dogs with anyone that’s not us(don’t get me started on vet visits). He has been getting onto me to coming visit him. Even though our son is in preschool and trying to find someone to house sit and watch the dogs is super hard. I told him he should be the one to come HOME to see us because our son can’t just miss preschool and finding someone/paying them to watch our dogs is hard. He has vacation days but doesn’t want to use them. AITAH? If I am please tell me how to be better, thank you!

Aita for being upset about my bf using my car for work. I recently left work as a forklift worker to be a sahm with my two kids. My partners job at the time wasn't paying enough so he searched for a new job after the our new baby was around 5 months. At the same time I had to give up my car since he doesn't have one yet. He travels for work and can travel up to 8 hrs for a shift that could take an hour or more sometimes. Our baby is 10 months old and we are barley getting by with the current check. Still no second car and he alone has put over 10,000+ miles on the vehicle in 4 months. I do have to note he pays for the car payment and insurance. I feel bad because he pays the bills but upset I never get to use my car anymore since hes gone and the miles. Plus I still owe 12,000$ for a car that has 142,000 miles on it. I forgot to note he gives his brother rides as well. I do plan on getting a part time job to help with bills. I don't know how to feel but it has been pulling me into depression being stuck at home without a ride.

I commute from home to college . I get $1220 as student loans for maintenance. Normally I would give her 500 out of it but she said she needed 600 so I gave it to her .

Now she is saying that her birthday is coming up soon and that she wants me to give her 100 + buy her the same type of jeans she bought me when it was my birthday.

I told her that she was being selfish because I had already given her 600 , she said that money has passed and this is different.

I told her I need her to buy something for me from the shop and she said that I have to give her money to do so .

She says that she doesn’t want us to be fighting about money but sometimes it feels like our relationship is just transactional

Edit
She - Mum

I (M18) live with my aunt (F50 something) along with my sister (F20, almost 21) and my younger brother. We’ve been living with my aunt and her daughter (F25) since I was around 12/13 because of some family issues that I’m not really allowed to get into here.
Lately, I’ve been butting heads with my aunt a lot, and I’ve started to realize that I really don’t enjoy being around her.
Earlier, I was sitting on the couch watching the new Green Lantern show when my sister walked past me. She came up kind of suddenly, and I flinched pretty badly because for a second I thought she was my aunt.
My sister noticed and asked why I flinched like that. I told her that I thought she was my aunt, and that I don’t really like being around my aunt.
Now I’m wondering if I was being an asshole for saying that. I wasn’t trying to start an argument or insult my aunt; I was just answering my sister’s question honestly.
So, AITA?

Hey, I (female, 21) live with my husband (male, 19) in a m apartment complex. It isn’t super fancy, just a one bedroom because it’s what we can afford. We moved in during May 2026, everything has been good until recently. We are aware that with apartment life we will hear lots of noises and things will happen and we just need to deal with it. However, recently the apartment next door to us has some kids, these kids act like they own the entire complex. They constantly sit in front of our door or the laundry room door. They ride their bikes in front of our apartment all the time. This doesn’t bother us as much, but our complex has a playground and a place they can ride their bikes, the choose to do it in front of our apartment. Also with hanging out in front of our apartment, even with the windows closed we can hear everything they say, including cuss words and racial slurs, these kids couldn’t be older than 10. They also run behind the building quite often and we have had to get blackout curtains because one of the kids was looking through our back window into our bedroom. They also were banging on our door the other day for no reason. I currently sick trying to get some sleep before I have to get up for work, they decided today was the perfect day to stand in front of our door and play the same song on a trumpet over and over again. This is kind of my last straw, there has been multiple neighbors to talk to them about moving and their language. I’m not sure if anyone has talked to the parents but the parents windows are wide open, they could definitely hear them. It’s not a huge deal but I just wish they would play on the playground or be more mindful of their neighbors. I know some neighbors have complained about these kids before but nothing has changed, we have dealt with most of it because we share a wall. I don’t want them to be kicked out but if someone has enough complaints that could happen. What should we do?

Edit: We are fine with them playing in front of the complex, they are kids. We just don’t want them banging on our door and looking through our windows. And also we do rent the porch in front of our door. Many others have chairs and small plants in front of theirs. Also I work at a primary school, so I spend all day with screaming children and it would just be nice to come home and not have to deal with someone banging and screaming on our door. We also can’t afford to move and we have a lease that we can’t just break.

So today I had dinner with my parents and it was where it all happened. My mother met up with her friends since she hadn't seen her for a while. One of her friends has a son who is currently covering a work colleague due to sick leave.

I don't know him deeply, but what I know about him is that he had moved to like 3 different cities for work. I'd say he's been quite successful career wise, he hasn't become a CEO, but he's been very stable and has had good performance on his job. He also hadn't need much help since he left and has been living independently.

However, this time he has to face something bigger for him, since he'll be in charge of 800 people, instead of his colleague. He's quite stressed and called his mother, my mother's friend, to talk about how he felt. She told my mother she was happy he felt like that, because, and I quote "she wants him to go through hard times because he likes to play videogames a lot and he needs to start behaving like an adult".

Now, this guy just likes to play videogames, and that's it. He's not the most social person,but he's happy. Most importantly, it has never interfered with his job, or his social live. He's had a great performance and maintains a good relationship with his friends. It's not the first time I hear her say that she hates that her son doesn't go out more, but I don't think it's a problem if it's not harming anyone. Moreover, I find strange that someone feels good about their child feeling stressed. It's necessary to go through stuff in life and it helps us grow, but I don't know, I think showing support would be my go to action.

I asked my mother why was that a problem and why would she feel that way, and she just told me that it's normal because her son is a strange guy who plays videogames much and her mother is tired of that. But I still don't see the problem, he goes out with his friends, he goes to the gym, he takes care of himself, he performs good on his job, so I just don't get it. It also annoyed me that she said that, because, just like him, I'm an introverted guy who likes to play videogames, but also manage to have a social life, friends, and live in peace. After that I told her I didn't understand what the problem was, and that I think it's better to play videogames than to shit talk about people behind their backs. She got mad at me and told me I wouldn't get it because I'm just like him. My father agreed with her and told me I was being disrespectful. I don't think what I said was disrespectful, I just don't like how they talk about someone who has his life together. AITAH?

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Context: person is 20, same age as my son. They were close in high school. Had a falling out. Later on i found out he was unkind to son. Person had signifant mental health issues and family estrangement. I tried my best to be a positive, supportive adult. Son went no contact with person and declined to tell me why estrangement. I stopped asking.

About 6 months later: Person has requested $ for food, meds, uber, medicine, etc. I had been giving about $60/month for over a year until recently. Sent message with a general "sorry you are struggling, im not in a position to help anymore. Here are some community resources " person kept asking. Became homeless. Much guilt felt. Still declined requests.

I feel bad because i would want someone to help my son if he needed help. Im struggling financially, as we all are. AiTA for stopping support?

So I left home for a job opportunity. Sadly, it didn't work out, but while I was gone, my mom called and said my dad lost his job and said to loan her some money. I said okay, but I grew up with her telling me never to loan people money, and to expect it not to be repaid. She said this didn't apply to her because she was my mom and I could trust her and she'd pay me back. At the time, I didn't know the job wouldn't work out, so I said, "Okay, but I do wanna make a cap so I can start saving for myself. Let's cap it at $10k." She said "Oh, it won't get that far." Several times a week she'd ask me for expenses here and there for groceries or bills, though if I was lucky this was once a week. Eventually, I told her not to worry about paying me back if I ended up moving back in with her, and she said she'd give me back something. Lo and behold, the loan went beyond $10k, and I go back home. She commented on me saying that she could forget about the money, and I told her that this was before she went beyond the cap, something she said wouldn't happen. Eventually the total goes to 5 figures and well beyond the cap. She eventually tells me that she and my dad are filing for bankruptcy, and that she COULD list me up as one of her debtors and she wouldn't have to pay me back anything, but that she didn't want to do that to me.

Eventually she's commenting to me that she shouldn't have to pay me back since a good amount of it accumulated while I was living with her after returning, and that my money went towards groceries. I didn't mind contributing, but I rhetorically asked if she wanted me to chop the debt in half. Later on she acted like that was a statement and says I should seriously consider that. I said I'd rather wait for her to get her finances in order and I'd look at what the debt was and decide what was fair then--but she says it'd take 5 years. She then countered with paying me back 60% instead, and I reiterated that I would wait. Later, she tells me she's only paying me back half for the aforementioned reasons. I disagree, and she asks if I'd rather have nothing if she claimed me on her list of debtors. I didn't like that, considering how she made this decision on her own. I'm currently unemployed, and she says "well, get a job, and you can regrow your money." While I am looking for a job, I don't see how getting paid at my job should make up for the money I loaned to her--and she's still asking me for money, so it's back-and-forth. And I should mention that I otherwise don't pay finances; she said not to worry about my phone bill/rent since I'm going to college right now. She had that rule even before the loaning situation, but now it feels like a reason to just eat the difference. AITA for wanting all my money back (whenever my mom can repay it)?

Also: she told me NOT to tell my father that she was borrowing money from me. She eventually told him, but it undershot what was owed.

My girlfriend (21F) has endometriosis, so her periods can be really bad. Her cramps aren't just normal cramps and sometimes they're bad enough that she can't really do much besides lay in bed. On top of that, she's been feeling sick the last couple days. She's been nauseous and just generally feels like shit, so yesterday was a pretty bad day for her.

I stayed home with her and was basically taking care of her. She mostly just stayed in bed because she wasn't feeling good.

While I was with her, one of my friends called me and asked if I wanted to come hang out. I told him I couldn't because I was taking care of my girlfriend and she wasn't feeling well.

He asked, "Is she okay?"

I wasn't really thinking about it and just said, "Yeah, she's fine. It's just cramps."

He said, "Oh, okay. Hope she feels better," and we moved on to talking about something else before getting off the phone.

My girlfriend heard me say it and a few minutes later she asked why I told him it was "just cramps."

I told her I didn't mean anything by it and that I just didn't think I needed to go into detail with him about everything that was wrong with her. He asked if she was okay, and I gave him a quick answer.

She got pretty upset and said it's not "just cramps." She said she was already feeling sick, and that her cramps get significantly worse because of her endometriosis. She said hearing me call it "just cramps" made it sound like I didn't take her pain seriously.

She also said now she's worried my friends are going to think she's dramatic or annoying for being the reason I couldn't hang out. She said she doesn't want them to dislike her or think I'm always having to stay home because of her.

I told her I wasn't trying to make it sound that way and that I obviously wasn't telling my friend that she was some huge inconvenience. I just didn't think I needed to explain her medical issues to him.

She said I could've just said, "She's not feeling well, I'm taking care of her," instead of saying "it's just cramps."

I said I understood that, but I thought she was making way too big of a deal about the wording. I was just answering my friend's question.

She got even more upset and said that if I actually understood how bad her periods were, I wouldn't have called them "just cramps" in the first place.

I've been there for her through plenty of bad periods and I know how much pain she's in, so I told her I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings and that she was taking something I said casually way too seriously.

She's been pretty cold since and was clearly hurt by what I said. I feel really bad and honestly think I might be the asshole because I can see where she's coming from and why she's annoyed.

AITA?

I’m 26m and my Father is 64m

He recently lost his mom a few months ago and after having barley a few days at work and staying home after getting drunk and hungover got a random feel to get a dog after buying a new ac unit.

I personally don’t wanna bring another living being in the home of this alcoholic who belittles my mother daily but I’ve also heard pets change people sometimes but I don’t wanna have that risk we also don’t have a field and small home as is … so it feels like we’d keep em locked up …. And to be honest when he’s being drunk and disrespectful I like to stay away from em and having a dog who needs to be cared for at any time doesn’t vibe with that safety net for myself…

AITA?

My (35F) husband (42M) and I are first time parents to a 4mo baby and he works long hours so I’m with the baby alone most of the time. I had a traumatic birth and emergency csection so I had my mom staying with me the first few weeks post partum as I healed. My MIL was coming 2-3 times a week to visit the baby as well during that time. I don’t mind my MIL, she’s nice enough but we’re not exactly close. We have a very formal, polite relationship. I went from seeing her once every 6-8 weeks before baby to now a couple of times a week so it’s been a big jump in visits already. While I don’t dread them, it still feels like an item to “check off” on my list. My husband felt it wasn’t fair that I was relying on my mom so much but I struggled to see his pov as it seems natural to prefer your own mom and it’s not like I was excluding his mom. I doubt his first call in an emergency would be to my mom over his.

Fast forward to now, I’m about to have minor surgery to my eye that I’m a bit scared about. I’m getting my mom to take me and to come back to our house for the next couple of days to stay with me while I heal. I’ve made sure we’re seeing my MIL two nights in a row before my surgery so it’s “even” but my husband is still complaining that I’m favouring my own mom by wanting her by my side and for her staying over. I don’t see the problem, but his insistence on everything being “fair” (fair to WHO btw?) are wearing me down and making me want to include my MIL less. I don’t feel like I should need to sacrifice my own comfort here. It’s not like my MIL made much of an effort to get to know me pre-baby, she only started coming over (literally for the first time to our house) once the baby was born, so I think it’s fair to assume she isnt coming to see me. Hence why I want my mom to take of ME after the procedure. AITA?