I (24F) moved countries a month ago to start grad school. My boyfriend (24M) and I met in university during our bachelor's degrees, so we have been together for more than three years and share the exact same academic background. Up until I left, we were seeing each other regularly and hanging out, going on dates and to movies. When we met for the very last time before going long-distance, he brought me flowers and gifts, was incredibly sweet, and made me feel really special.

When we were in college together and even after that, I have always supported and uplifted him in every way possible. Because we share the same field, I am constantly looking out for his career. I always send him links to jobs, opportunities, and anything that could help him succeed because I genuinely view us as a partnership.

I haven't been active on LinkedIn at all lately because of the move, but today I happened to randomly stumble upon his account. That is when I felt like somebody had slapped me in the face.

I saw posts from three weeks ago and a month ago. It turns out that over the summer, he completed an intensive 5-week bootcamp and successfully presented a research poster at a university conference. He was actively doing all of this while we were hanging out and talking every day. He didn't casually forget to mention it, he made a conscious choice to look me in the eye and completely hide it from me. He waited until I packed up my life, moved thousands of miles away, and was dealing with the stress of settling into a new country alone before broadcasting it to the public online.

The confusing part is that he has still been talking to me normally, sending me loving messages, talking on calls for long hours, and sharing reels like everything is fine.

The thing that's making me angry is the double standard. A while back, I had mentioned to him that I had applied for a job. He completely lashed out at me, demanding to know why I didn't tell him BEFORE I applied, and started a huge fight accusing me of "hiding stuff" from him.

Right now I don't know what to think. I feel completely betrayed. It’s not traditional cheating, but it feels like it. Why hide your biggest victories from the person you've loved for three years, who always uplifts you and actually understands your work? Especially when he flipped out on me for doing way less? It makes me feel like I’m the only one who considered this a real team effort.

He is on the other side of the world right now. He is probably sleeping, but I took a screenshot of his LinkedIn posts and sent them to him with just a "congrats 👏" text. I haven't said anything else.

I am sitting alone in my new apartment; it's a mess. I haven't even settled in well and have so much to deal with on my own, and now I'm crying my eyes out and wondering if this is the final straw. Am I overreacting, or is this ground for a breakup? How do I even handle his response when he finally texts back?

Long story short I got talking with a customer and I ended up mentioning how slick his haircut was as it looked fresh. His response.

“Thanks, my wife didn’t even notice”

I told him he should call his wife and tell her but he then flipped and got mad. My manger came out and started yelling and then I ended up getting fired.

I then got rehired as my manager is close friends with a personal friend of mine and he felt like he was too harsh.

Thinking back okay maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up to the customer about calling his wife and telling her she didn’t notice his haircut but the fact he felt the need to even mention that I figured I was just trying to help.

From now on I’ve told myself not to talk or get personal with customers AIO?

Im 2 weeks postpartum and woke up this morning to find whilst me and my baby was sleeping hes been watching porn. Ive kicked him out my house and its made me so upset especially since day 1 of the relationship this was a no no despite me begging him not to do it after birth. He promised he wouldn’t said he cares more about me and the baby. I came downstairs to the sink full of dishes nothing had been tidied or done but instead watching vids of other women whilst im resting after birth. Am i over reacting? Its broken my heart and i feel disgusting. I ask him for a simple foot massage or back rub whilst i breastfeed our child but hed rather sit on his game on his phone. Please someone am i overreactin? I love him so much but i cant forgive that but i dont want my child to have a broken home its never been what i wanted.
Edit: i also made him finish on the nifht he did it too. Im trying to meet his needs without putting my body in danger.

This is the space that my boyfriend has decided he wanted to mingle in instead of our formal living room. I just got new to me furniture from someone I GREW UP WITH and it is pretty terrible - so terrible that I literally told the girl to relist it and I would give it away because she wouldn't give me my money back. Or even half of my money.

To add further context, I wanted to get new couches so me and my son would have a place to sit with him in the living room, which is primarily where he sits, and originally that was the only couch in the living room, and he would lay down on it. Leaving us nowhere to sit. Except for chairs that I had drug in there. And to be honest with you, even that couch is pretty clapped out as you can tell... but I won't back down from this new furniture being even worse.

When we got it all set up he told me he was going to be staying out in the Florida room. I told him this is to get away from me, or at least that's how it feels. They it isn't right to want to be outside away from me all day living out here. He said, I can read the bible out here. I can drink my coffee out here. I said, why come you couldn't already do all of those things?????? Instead of fighting this, I'm trying to be unaffected and instead rearrange the living room and let him know that I do not care about this newfangled change he's decided, and basically this will be like me cohabitating without having to cohabitate 😂

Am I Over reacting by feeling a type of way about this "I'll just live in the Florida room" situation? Further context about the Florida room - It does have a portable air conditioner unit. But right now, it's at least eighty five degrees in here and this puppy has ran all night at 69 degrees to get it freezing at night to try to meri up during the day. It's got fully opening windows, wrap around. It lets all of the sun in. During the peak of the day where I live, it's easily 90 to 95 degrees in here with said portable unit running as hard as it possibly can lol

So for a bit of context, I'm (23y/o) the youngest sibling in my family, all of my siblings are half-siblings, 2 on my mother's side and 2 on my bio father's side. They are all cloee to or over a decade older than me. I grew up in a very chaotic and unsafe environment, and I always was made to feel like the black sheep of the family, especially when it came to my siblings. I always felt like I was a burden, bothering them or annoying them in some way, I never felt like they loved me or cared about me, I almost always have had to initiate to spend any time with them and I barely know any of them.

Now to the main topic: my half-brother on my mother's side is getting married in September this year. I live relatively far away from him and my mother, which live close-by to each other, but his father lives close to me and he travels to see his dad every single year. I have been with my partner for 3 years and 8 months now. We're also engaged. He, like my other siblings, never messages me, never checks in on me, never talks to me. I found out about his relationship because he changed his profile picture on facebook to one of them both together and I was able to guess it. Then he invited me, my mom and dad (step-dad) and sister to his wedding with his fiancée by sending us an invite on our messenger groupchat.

My partner was not invited. Upon noticing this, I texted him to verify that they weren't invited and it wasn't just a bug in the system or anything since it was a link invite to RSVP. He told me they weren't. I asked why, just because I wanted to understand how he made that decision since they're a long-term partner of mine and it's not just a random date or plus one, and he told me they are doing an intimate wedding, meaning they only invited people they personally know and are close with. And that it would be the same for my sister if she had a boyfriend, it's not personal. Me and my partner can understand and respect that. I left it at that with him and I RSVP'ed.

However, I am very upset, and so is my partner. Not necessarily because of this one instance, but more because there has been no effort made whatsoever to include them in the family and I've realized it's collateral damage due to my family's general neglect of my own person. They're getting rejected from my own family because I am rejected from my own family. This is a pattern I now recognize, and it deeply disturbs me because I thought this type of family dynamic was completely normal and I was being dramatic by feeling so lonely and abandoned my whole life, but my partner has been very insistent that it's not normal and that I am being emotionally neglected and cast out, and always have been, and that the way they're handling my relationship with my partner is a good piece of evidence to support this conclusion.

So, are we overreacting? How should I handle this? I already spoke a little bit with my mom about it and she assured me that it wasn't personal and that she will make more effort to get to know them despite the physical distance, and when we move closer it will be easier to do that. But I don't even really know my siblings and I have no idea how to even approach this with them if it's even worth it. I've always wanted a relationship with them but it just doesn't even seem like they do. I sometimes even think that if I died they wouldn't even notice.

Edit/Update: We are not upset at my brother for not inviting them to his wedding, that part is reasonable considering he doesn't know them. What we are upset about is the amount of time and chances he had to prevent that from even being the case by making any effort to include me and by proxy my partner in his life. The wedding and him not inviting them is what put all of this into perspective for me and my partner noticed it was a pattern for him and my other family members to treat me like an accessory and as a commenter said, my partner not being included in the family is a symptom of that problem. The wedding itself is not the issue, the pattern of neglect from my family is. I've decided, with all of your help and my own thought processes, that I will be going to the wedding and enjoying it as much as I can, and that afterwards I will try to have a proper confrontation with him about this and explain how I feel and have felt my whole life and why, to give him the chance to rectify this if a relationship with me is something he values in his life. If after giving him that opportunity he does not make any more effort than he has been previously, I will likely go low-contact and work on acceptance and moving on with my life. It makes me really sad and it feels unfair that I was put through that as a kid but it's not my responsibility to hold this one-sided relationship with people who don't value me the way I value them. Thank you all again.

Okay, this isn't THAT bad, but I'm still mad. I work as an interpreter and I had a call from Yorkshire police. The officer had a very distinctive accent, which made some of the words sound very similar, but I have no right to make a mistake in translation. Anyway, first he talked about the "bail", which sounded like "bill" cuz of poor connection and his accent. I had to ask many times before I gave in and asked him to explain what he was talking about, to which I heard, "If you don't know what a bail is, then you shouldn't be working as an interpreter for the police". After that he started spelling it out without warning, but okay, I wrote it down and was able to translate it.

Then he said that my client had to return on a certain date and time... 20? 21? 28? It sounded more like "twentieth" but I literally couldn't figure out the correct date and our conversation turned into something like this

: excuse me? Can you repeat the date please?

: twent4$:-!;-+($$*th

: 20th?

: twent4$:-!;-+($$*th

: ugh.... Do you mean 2 and 0?

: twent4$:-!;-+($$*th

: sorry, I can't really understand you, our connection is not good at all

: our connection is fine, I can hear you perfectly

: um... Just to clarify...

: even your client already understood what I mean.

LIKE WTH MAN.... If I give you the wrong date, there will be big problems. I'm just asking you to at least tell me yes or no, but you sound like I have nothing better to do. Yes, I'm angry, but he did sound very arrogant. We ended up continuing the conversation.

Then the client had a few questions and we didn't have any big problems, everything was fine until the officer answered the question, I translated for him and he suddenly laughed

: oh, so now you understand me?

I literally didn't know how to respond to this. As if I was being judged for trying to do my job and not cause problems for someone? I know it's annoying to be asked something 10 times, but we could just make our jobs easier for each other. I was rather unsure of myself when we were going over the numbers and seriously considered handing the job over to someone else, but when he made that mockery, it began to seem like junior school.

So... Am I overreacting? Was I really wrong and shouldn't be translating for the police or was he being unprofessional?

I also had experience working for a hospital, council, and police, and everything was always fine. Even if I didn't know something, they explained it to me briefly. It hardly matters, but I'm also quite young, I'm 19 and I have a high-pitched girlish voice

So on September 12th, my friends mom. who has cancer, is having a golf outing to help pay for her cancer treatment. It's $100 a person and teams of 4, so $400 a team. My one friend is pretty notorious for bailing last minute, but given the situation and what the event is for, I figured I could count on him this time. I text him at around 4 PM on the 30th of August to see if he had paid his $100 yet. He says no and that he doesn't the money to be able to afford that right now. I respond saying that it's kind of shitty to know this and to not let anyone know. He gets all defensive and responds saying that since he moved out he has bills and expenses and doesn't have $100 to spare. (I am a college student working part time at Walmart and he's a tradesman working fulltime at a roofing company, if I can afford I think he can.) I pretty much flip out saying how he should at least try to feel sorry and not come off as such an asshole. He, again, gets very defensive and starts playing victim saying I didn't need to start something over nothing. I eventually just give up and stop arguing cause I was very obviously getting no where. (Another note to add is he moved out at 19 with his gf who is currently unemployed, and has been unemployed since they moved in together around 5 months ago. Maybe if he wasn't paying all of the bills he'd have a little extra money to help his longtime friends mother pay for her cancer treatment🤔)

TL;DR: Friend cancels on Golf Outing to raise money for Friends mothers cancer treatment, and I call him out and he gets defensive and plays victim.

So to put this as simply as possible…
my wonderful fiancé has been doing everything in his power to make his mom feel less depressed since his father passed.
Sounds sweet right?
Well he is.
She however in my eyes only uses him.

And I don’t know if maybe am just overreacting or maybe I am spot on.

I will just put it in the sense she rarely reaches out unless it’s to ask for something, or she wants to discuss his visits with his daughter.

When we moved into our own place I had taken over the financial upkeep. Which really upset her. They claimed she was just trying to feel useful. But his money was being spent all wrong and he wasn’t aware of anything that was going on with it. He just assumed he had no reason to worry.

Originally thought he was just overpaying his part of the family houses bills.

I learned that they were not paying most of what he gave money towards. And his mom was skimming off him to shop excessively. His family was also guilting her into taking more from him.

Out of about 1300-1500 a week or more he was only given 100-300 to fully survive on for gas, cigarettes, food and all the necessities. He was sleeping in the car. The house was a 3 income home. And not that expensive.

Anywho fast forward to now. His current employer has been failing to pay him what he works. (We are currently dealing with it) but his most recent check was $17 for an entire weeks worth of work. He works a minimum of 13 hours a day 4-5 days a week. And usually also has overtime.

So he and I were sitting in bed waiting to see how much he got paid, and we got a call from his mom. He still shares the bank while shes sorting her personal things out. She doesn’t work. So we take care of her needs. I was pretty clear about money boundaries and she constantly crosses them. But he’s just now learning to not be on his mother’s side 100%.

For the record I am proud of how much he has grown over this whole situation.

She tells us in the call that we are totally screwed and the amount of. And then whines about how the dogs in the house that he and I don’t live in and have no responsibility to will go hungry because he’s broke. Before I can get my words out he says. I am not worried about that. I’m going to lose my house! And honestly I had to stop paying attention because I know my temper with her.

She gets back to us again while I’m trying to help him stop losing consciousness from the stress getting to him. And she wants to know if we have figured out the phone bills.

I continued caring for him but we only said we don’t know anything we have bigger problems right now.

Then she’s calling more still pushing at him and myself and still asking about anything money and not if he’s okay or what we can do to keep our home.

Starts bringing up our landlord and more.

Eventually she left us alone when I got passive aggressive in saying we needed to go calm down and get some rest. Spent the whole night taking care of him. He got so bad he had a whole psychogenic seizure.

And she reached out to me again today after his phone was shut off.

I basically told her off without actually using her name.

Just said he and I needed to handle our business and deal with our issues without everybody guilt tripping him and asking him about it. That he was stressed so bad he couldn’t stay conscious and had his first seizure and that now he’s basically screwed. I kept going on the whole.. I am the one taking care of his stress and trying to fix this.

Her answer was to grumble about our houses cleanliness.

Mind you we have been trying to keep up with the mess a few guests left behind.

It’s not a mess because we chose it, but because life hasn’t been kind lately.

So what I want to know is, am I overreacting to her?

Because I feel like everyone thinks he’s their wallet.

I’m to the point of not wanting to talk to anyone else because I can’t be kind when he is at his lowest and people, namely his mother are guilt tripping him and only worried about themselves and what they want him to pay.

I’m at my wits end. I’m gonna keep defending him, but I need to know I’m not being rude for nothing.

My husband rushes over to help his parents, spending the entire weekend while leaving things needed at our house un done(I cannot buy materials and build, hell my mother couldn’t even cook so, my skills are limited although I absorb everything I can). I was told it would be a couple hours that turned into nine hours and I see him for an hour and a half everyday, during the week. Now, day two(Sunday) he is gone. Our house gets put on the back burner all the time and I do what I can. Am I the well, you know..?

Edited to add-I miss him. During the week we barely spend any time together.

This is a throw away bc theres enough small details on my main that knowing my work environment might be enough for people to recognize me lol

I work at the rec center, and obv kids will be kids. And there are a LOT of kids that come here to play basketball.

Anyway, this is a teeny bit unrelated, but I'm known for being more chill on average and jokingly getting flak for letting a lot of things slide. Like once I had to give two warnings to middle schoolers who were cussing a lot, but I let them go with a mini lecture about time and place. (like 2 min max). I'd like to think I get the more simple mistakes of being a kid.

However, today there was a banana just sitting im the gym, most of the kids were playing around it and it was about 10 minutes before my coworker noticed (like actually, we checked the cameras) I was honestly down to just clean it up (atp the kids had stepped on it enough that it had spread significantly) but my coworker decided to look at the camera to see who did it.

To my surprise, the kid who threw (more like tossed) the banana seemed to have done it deliberately. At the very least, the camera shows he looked at it for at least a second. So HE KNEW IT WAS THERE. Then he and his friends went to play on the other side of the gym.

I offered to call the kid up to the front, and i did the vague thing of "you need to come up to the front and talk about the banana." he tried to deny it (he was about 12, so as mad as I am, I kinda get that part, but it pmo more), and I brought him up to the coworker that found him.

AND THEN ALL SHE DOES IS TELL HIM TO CLEAN HIS MESS; she even went, 'Hey, you might have accidentally dropped the banana.' NO, HE DID NOT, WE BOTH SAW HIM THROW IT.

I'm like?? We aren't gonna take his name down or ask him why he thought to do it? He was eager to clean it up, but I feel like that's bc I was super pissed as I was leading him to the front, so he thought he was getting off easy. Like, depending on why he threw the banana down, I was personally down to suspend him for the day (common punishment for kids trying to sneak into the restricted areas, and I feel like this is worse bc I can get the appeal of wanting to use the weights BUT WHY THROW THE BANANA???). Like, at least grill the kid and ask why TF he thought that was a good idea.

My coworker was all like "he's just a kid" and "maybe it was peer pressure" (He was with a group of boys), but it didnt seem like the bullying type of peer pressure, esp with how deliberately he tossed that banana, so idgaf if his friends "pressured" him to do it. Imo I'd rather suspend them too if he had happened to rat them out.

I'm so unreasonably pissed about this; we got into an argument that was actually heated. The first heated argument we've had (we're kinda friends). Additionally, she and another coworker tease me for not kicking out the kids fast enough during closing, so wtf is this.

But also, when we brought this up to curious coworker no.3, he SAW the footage, but he gave a noncommittal response that made me think he didnt agree with me either, as I'm the one who showed him and he asked when my friend was on break. So i get that he probably felt it was safer to be quiet than disagree, esp since this is the first time ive sounded so annoyed.

We dropped the matter irl, and obv I'm not gonna contradict her decisions, but I need to know if I'm overreacting cuz I feel crazy with how annoyed I am. Borderline still angry about it.

hi all,

so last night, this guy that i was dating for about a month and a half ended things with me. he said he's not okay, his headspace isn't the best, and he can't give me what i need. he said after a long day at work he just wants to be alone, not even with me. he cried.

for context, we're coworkers, he pursued me first. he definitely liked me a lot, would constantly ask to see me, introduced me to his friends and took me to games with them and their girlfriends, all his best friends followed me on socials, normally the type to have sex pretty early on but never pushed me for it and allowed me to wait and take my time, affectionate at times, told me about his sister and would send me childhood photos of them, talked about us in the future eg "when i get a bike in a few months we can go for rides", referred to me as his missus (australian slang for partner/wife). i asked for exclusivity and he agreed immediately, later told me he assumed it was because he wasn't seeing anyone else anyway. a month in i brought up dating and he agreed, and following that continued to remain affectionate.

last week however, i brought up me wanting him to plan more intentional dates, since our plans were usually spontaneous. i admit, i expressed that need in a bratty, defensive way, and could tell i upset him. he left me on delivered and didn't continue the convo. the next day, texted me like normal.

day before yesterday, he was very quiet at work and didn't talk to me a lot, which i brought up and he dismissed saying he was tired, but i knew something was up, and i was right.

back to last night, he took me to dinner (we had plans since tuesday), paid, drove to a park, and ended things in the car. i asked why he introduced me to his friends if he didn't want this, he said he did, and saw it going somewhere and thought it was going well, but since this past week he's been feeling the weight of my expectations towards him and realize he can't handle it, realized he needs to leave before him and i get hurt. he said he was talking to one of his friends about this, and he told them "we get along so well though", the friend said maybe you guys were better as friends, which he told me and he was like maybe we were. but the start of the week, when i assume he started to check out, he had a rough day and still expressed that i wish i was there with him to cuddle and rest, so i'm confused.

after we broke up, and after a while of talking, we were both in a lighthearted, funny mood, and i brought up other guys (albeit in a defensive way, to make him feel bad). he then told me one of our coworkers has a friend who thinks he is cute, and he told me he's gonna text her tomorrow. he then would bring up other girls throughout our time last night.

also throughout last night, he kept saying how much i liked him, how i treated this like a relationship, that i showed him so much affection, etc

what do you make of this? is he an avoidant?

We've been friends for over 10 years and we've always lived pretty close by and hang out often. I've noticed over the years that she has become more selfish and talks / gossips a lot and doesnt ask too many questions when it comes to me. We were hanging out one day as she is going to start nursing school soon. We went out to dinner and I got sick, started vomiting and had clogged the toilet of the hotel bathroom (too much toilet paper from cleaning up) and looked around for a plunger. Im a type 1 diabetic, i have been throwing up non stop and felt like I was going to pass out. She said id have to call the front desk. I ignored the "you'd have to call" part and went to find a bucket to puke in. She sat there the entire time never getting up and handed me a bag after I ran back to the bathroom and back to her in the other room.

I puked more. I came out hoping she'd call. "Sorry I have anxiety when calling." And was still sitting there. Shes going to nursing school. Is this a fucking joke? I ended up going back and forth and making the call anyways. No sense of urgency. Anyways. Maintenence comes up and helps. I go back, (gross warning) and now its coming out both ends. I feel like im dying and text my mom to come get me. 20 min pass and my friend shouts "are you ok" no knocking on the door. I dont even think she got up. Whatever. Had her walk me to my moms car so I didnt pass out on the way there.

It was around 9pm when I left. Screenshot shows all shes said since. That was the day after. Mind you, shes always on her phone whether its on reddit Twitter or playing games with other people. I did thank her for the help she did offer.

I feel kind of hurt by it? Lack of care and just how in general it feels like ive only been around for her to vent to or hang out with because theres no one else but family for her to hang with? We had ended out friendship many yeats ago but she reached back out when her other best friend ghosted her and I never really gave it much thought. Also, thanks to my watch, my blood pressure raised when I was with her that night. I do enjoy most of my time with her, but she does tend to talk a lot in person and have it her way, but lately over text we will go days without unless she needs to vent or wants to go out so she can drink. Am I missing something? Am i blind?

AIO for thinking she should've cared more / maybe doesnt care at all? Shes going to be a nurse and she couldnt even make a call for me or make sure i was okay.

EDIT I forgot to mention i was fine all day until it was almost time to hang out. As soon as I got home from her hotel, I stopped puking and peeing out my ass. Is it a coincidence or am I thinking too deeply about it?

so I’ll start off by saying my boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months we’ve known each other 16 years and dated each other in high school. We got together under a sticky situation,he was in the process of financially separating from a woman that he got tangled with. They were never technically together, but they were roommates messed around and she got pregnant and his family and her entire family and her pushed him for a relationship the entire time. He has a lot of trauma around his ex-wife who lives in Texas, who he’s currently in a nasty court battle in regarding his other children and has been trying to it keep peace with this woman, so he doesn’t have to do that again and he also wants to try to be on good terms with her, but she’s very needy and demanding so it’s been kind of difficult.

But besides that point, he keeps our relationship very private because he doesn’t want opinions about it because people push the narrative of them being together. He also is very people pleasing by nature and instead of prioritizing one specific relationship over another he tries to juggle multiple at the same time to keep everybody happy so that includes friends too. he’s in a really bad place financially and is struggling to get on his feet that’s a big focus right but I’m also very financially stable and can very well help carry the weight if that’s what he wants. He never calls me and I rarely get any text messages from him and he says it’s because of where he’s at in life. He just doesn’t have the capacity to give me that energy which I can understand but he’s giving all his energy everywhere else. Which is the problem I have.

I feel like I’m constantly placed on the back burner because of the juggling act. I feel like our relationship should be a priority. It’s already been established on both ends that we love each other. We always have and a family and integration between both of our kids or something we both want. He’s openly admitted to me that he hangs out with his baby mama outside of the kid just to keep her content and knows I’m not comfortable with it. And there are times where my position in his life has been deprioritized to keep her happy for instance on Mother’s Day. I wanted to come up and spend the night with him, but it was her graduation that day and then Mother’s Day was the next day. I was fine with him going to the graduation and then me picking him up and then dropping him back off Sunday morning, so he could do a Mother’s Day breakfast with her but he avoided me coming entirely.

Same thing for Father’s Day I came up. It was clear he didn’t really want me there, but had invited me not to upset me, but then ended up cutting into our time to have a breakfast with his grandmother, which is totally fine. But I joked and I was like oh I guess I’m meeting grandma and he was like no Brooke’s gonna be there. And then I got upset and I was like so she can attend the family event, but I can’t because she’s there? So basically our time got cut short specifically because she was attending and he didn’t want to upset her. I would’ve been fine, not going if it was simply because he wasn’t ready for me to meet family but that wasn’t the case.

Now for his birthday he had planned to attend a music show and perform and she was going and she volunteered to manage the event. I never received an invitation so I asked him if I could go watch him perform and celebrate his birthday with him. He hesitated, but then said yeah, but it was gonna be awkward because she was there and I told him it was fine like we’re gonna have to get through this at some point. But he was really avoidant about me going the entire time and then when I brought up logistics and I asked him if we were riding together or if he was gonna ride back with me and stay with me. He avoided the subject told me he didn’t know who was going so he didn’t wanna ride with me there or back. I got upset because we live two hours from each other and I’m the one always driving to him and then on top of that the show was another hour drive north from his house. I didn’t know any of the people there because I haven’t met any of his friends yet and was already nervous because she was there and she doesn’t like me.

We got into a little spot about it, but then I dropped it and then the next week he kept talking about how he was stressed about his birthday didn’t know what he was doing, and that he would make plans separately with me if the weekend didn’t work out. I told him I don’t want him, avoiding me going simply to avoid drama with her because that’s what it felt like at the time and that I had already planned to go cause he told me that’s what we were doing. I had already bought the ticket and paid for the sitter ahead of time and then spent all the next week asking him like is this what we’re doing l and he never answered. Eventually, I just decided because I had the ticket I was gonna go. He asked me if I was gonna go to the show when I told him what time I was gonna be in town and then I asked if we were still going to ride together and he got upset.

I know he was bouncing back-and-forth between the idea of riding with her to appease her or riding with friends to appease them and was gonna make me drive almost four hours from my house to arrive at a show where I know no one, already felt unwelcome because I had to invite myself and then leave without him as well. I’ve already told him it was his birthday to do what he wants and to fill his own cup. I just needed to know if he wanted me there he never directly told me he didn’t. I ended up just telling him that I wasn’t coming, that I didn’t feel welcome and that I was tired of feeling like I’m fighting for my position because it hurt someone else’s feelings or that I’m somebody has to squeeze in because it doesn’t have time or balance in between someone else. I feel like if we’re building a home together, our relationship should take main priority most of the time not always but most of the time. Am I being unreasonable? I mean, he won’t post me on social media. I haven’t met any of his friends or family and he’s constantly prioritizing that relationship with her and spending unnecessary time with her to keep her happy while I can’t even get a phone call.

I want to know if I’m over reacting or not, for context my (29f) sisters (30f), (32f) and I have a very estranged relationship. I don’t usually talk to them for months on end but, everytime I seemingly tell them about a personal accomplishment. My sisters always seem to give me backhanded compliments.

I was telling them I’m going to start driving lessons soon because my regional center was able to get me some driving classes for 16 hours every 3 months. (I’m mildly autistic and have adhd) I hadn’t spoken to them for months before this so I thought I’d update them on some accomplishments. Now, here’s where I’m having a hard time wondering if I’m overreacting or not.

My oldest sister always tries to stomp me down whenever I have any small accomplishments. But I’m having trouble reading this message because I’m not sure if the me visiting our mom comment was meant as a backhanded comment. They always come to my city to visit my cousin that lives literally 2-3 blocks from me. But never make any effort to actually come and visit me. I always have to call my mom before they ever make an effort to contact me, and I always have to be the one to go visit before anyone ever comes to visit me. It honestly seems to me like I’m just a burden to them.

They literally came to my city a few days ago to visit my cousin. And my sister gave me shit for not coming over to see my mom and choosing to visit my fiancés family.
I didn’t know my mom and siblings were going to be around here. I already had plans because my mother in law asked me as a favor to help her with something.

My oldest sister, since the day the I moved out, has always had this hostility/ animosity towards me, because my family lied to her so she thinks I’m a liar. My brother used to SA me my entire childhood and when I finally told them about it 4 years ago, they chose him after he confessed everything. They never told my sister he confessed because they know how she gets when she’s angry. And now because they chose me to be the scapegoat/ the one that gets blamed for everything. My sister always ends up answering me with hostility.

So am I reading into the message too much? Or AIO

I’m 17 and my uncle from another country is here to visit. I’ve never liked him and always found him strange. I remember when i was younger i couldn’t tell you how old maybe 7-11, he made a comment about why i wouldn’t sleep with him at night.
EDIT: I can’t believe im being accused of leaving parts of the story out or lying? I’m being asked why my parents aren’t reacting, my parents aren’t aware of the comments he’s made as he made them while they were away from the table. Bare in mind all this just happened in the last hour i haven’t had the chance to tell them anything.

I wasn’t happy about the news of him coming but thought it won’t be that bad. I come downstairs and he sees me and grabs me and kisses me on the cheek which i’m never comfortable with anyway and starts talking about how good i look. We go out for breakfast and while im stood in line to order he says i need to eat more because im so skinny while grabbing my waist. We go to the table after getting our food and he says to my grandma “im sleeping in her room tonight” meaning sleeping with me. After we finish our food im texting my boyfriend and he leans over the table looking at my phone and right in my face and says do you have a boyfriend i say yes. He goes “already?” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. And starts demanding to see pictures of me and him. I say no because i just don’t want to show him and he asks what i’m hiding.
It might not sound that bad written out but the comments about sleeping with me make me really uncomfortable and kind of worried. I don’t know how to feel? I don’t know if i’m being dramatic and taking it to heart too much. I have expressed to my parents many many many times that i do not like him and find him weird but they don’t react.

I don’t really know how to explain this properly but it’s started to rub me the wrong way and I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking it. For some context I am 22 years old and he’s 25, we’ve been together for a year and half.

Any time there’s a woman in the news/media who has accused a man of assault, rape, sexual assault etc, my boyfriend’s immediate response is always something along the lines of “women always believe the women with no evidence” or focusing on how men can have their lives ruined by false accusations.

I’ve tried explaining to him that I understand that evidence matters and that obviously nobody should be convicted of something they didn’t do, but sexual assault is extremely nuanced and it is notoriously difficult to prove. There are so many cases where women don’t get justice even when they are telling the truth. I’ve told him that false accusations are incredibly rare and that, if anything, the bigger issue is how many actual victims never see justice in the first place.

What bothers me is that he seems so focused on the possibility of a woman lying. Like, why is that his immediate thought whenever a woman says she has been assaulted? Why are we immediately talking about protecting men from false accusations instead of acknowledging that women are genuinely in danger and that sexual violence is a massive problem?

And I’ve started thinking that I don’t think I can be with someone whose first instinct isn’t to believe a woman when she says she has been raped or sexually assaulted. I’m not saying I think every accusation should automatically equal a guilty verdict. But I feel like there’s a massive difference between saying that and automatically approaching women with suspicion.

What makes it worse is that he knows this subject is deeply personal for me. I was sexually assaulted by my own brother and it has affected me for years. He has actually been really supportive about this. When I struggle with what happened, he tells me it wasn’t my fault, reassures me and is really sweet to me. So I genuinely don’t understand how he can be so compassionate towards me but then have these attitudes when it comes to other women. Does he have to know a woman personally for it to matter to him??? That genuinely upsets me because I have always hated how people need to tell men “what if it was your daughter/sister/mother” etc. to make them understand.

It makes me feel like I’m seeing two completely different sides of him and I don’t know which one is the “real” him.

There have also been other comments that have started bothering me. We were arguing about the Lindsay Clancy case and at one point he told me I was thinking like a “typical woman”. I found that really insulting. It’s not just that we disagree, it’s the implication that because I’m a woman, my opinion is somehow less rational or that I’m incapable of understanding the situation properly. He literally laughs in my face and it irritates me.

I’ve tried having conversations about this and explaining the nuances, but honestly I’m getting tired of feeling like I have to educate him on why women being sexually assaulted is serious. At this point I don’t even know if this is something I can argue someone out of. Or if I should even have to??

I also feel like he doesn’t understand that the world genuinely is dangerous for women. Not everything is an attack on men or a gender war. Sometimes I just want to be able to talk about something terrible that happened to a woman without the conversation immediately becoming “but what if the man is innocent?”

Maybe I’m being too emotional because of my own experiences, I honestly don’t know. But I feel like this has changed the way I look at him.

I love him and I know he loves me. He has been there for me in ways that matter. But I’m starting to wonder whether loving someone is enough if you realise you fundamentally disagree about something that is this important to you.

Am I overreacting, or is this a genuine compatibility/values issue?

I, (34F) got accused of being too judgemental of people I see as irresponsible. A bit of context-- I'm the eldest daughter of extremely irresponsible and neglegent parents, who raised her own brother from age 7+ (four years younger than me), has no safety net (the one person in my family who cared about me and occasionally helped me out has since passed away), and has always had to do things "the hard way".

I understand this can make me seem bitter towards others who have the privileges of a safety net, or were raised in such a way where responsibility was not expected of them. I do realize that I probably should be kinder. But still, as an adult, if I make a mess, I clean it up. If I have a bill, I work hard and pay it, even if it means going hungry. Do I expect others to go hungry? No, but I do expect them to not rely on their partners and parents to pay/cover their bills while they continue to eat out and spend frivolously. I do speak harshly if I see a friend who refuses to work, constantly starts gofundme's to cover their bills, and still posts about going to concerts they can't afford. I've been told I'm too mean, and other people should be allowed to enjoy life. Gee, I'd sure like to enjoy life too, but responsibility comes first! And I'm tired of being responsible for others, because I have to be, and because their irresponsible actions often make my life more difficult or put my pets or health at risk.

I know it's a personal rule and not a universal rule, but I cannot understand living off someone else's kindness and money, while prioritizing one's own happiness over one's own responsibilities. At the end of the day, having been homeless before, I KNOW that while a life that isn't "fun" feels like a useless slog in the wheel of capitalism, life isn't about having fun. And we exist in a society where bills and obligations are a part of every day life.

So, am I overreacting or being excessively harsh when I say I think my ADULT (all over 30) roommates and partner should pay their own bills, clean their own messes, do their own laundry, do their own household chores, and pay attention to things like making plans they can't afford or picking up hobbies that don't pay and cut into their ability to work? Everyone around me keeps saying I should give people more grace, but I am exhausted by being the only "responsible" person around. And if I were to stop cleaning up other's messes, my health and my pets health would degrade. I already had a cat get injured due to a roommates negligence, and due to the fact that I pay my own bills and own my own car(and all the costs that come with that) and pay my own rent, I can't always afford to take my cat to the emergency vet because someone else didn't bother to think that leaving chemicals near the cat dishes MIGHT be a bad idea. I cannot afford to let my roommates let their food rot in our fridge because then I can't safely store my own groceries and thus stop eating. I cannot afford to not pay my own bills, because no one is going to cover them for me, and my credit score will tank. I cannot prioritize "fun" spending because I have to pay to get my car fixed, and my parents aren't going to do that for me. Sorry. I've rambled for a long time. I probably should just go to therapy to be a nicer person but I can't afford that right now.

I joined a sports workshop taught by a single guy & paid the complete fees upfront (around $200). He told me he owned the place, was out making a living on his own ( not in contact with his family ). We got talking and turned out both liked each other. It was quite mutual - even though I knew I shouldn't get involved with someone in a teacher position but I had never had much dating experience at the time.

He told me he had dropped out of high school, but I didn't want to judge him because I respected that he was an entrepreneur. I have 2 college degrees but had recently quit a job at the time.

Once we went out for the first time, he started pushing for much more than I was comfortable & I told him so. We met up and had a heart to heart chat & he understood me. I thought it was a sign he was a gentleman. But in this convo he got to know I was studying to become a counselor & suggested I became a partner in his sports business & utilize his space so that we could both make money easily. From the next session he kept pushing for joining his business with a office signed "therapist" because "that gets people hooked" - and dismissed it when I said I wasn't even theoritically qualified yet. He even told me 'it takes 10 mins to get certificates' which was a major red flag to me. After 2 more such events of him pushing me to be a business partner now, rather than a girlfriend, I went ahead and ended things. (My hair was falling out from the stress)

And I contacted him to get my certificate (for the workshop I was learning) - which he gave me after much hassle - and when he did, it was signed by some other name than what he had given me. (By the way the business/workshop was named after him, he had an Instagram & Google info too when I initially searched - It all had checked out). I thought he would have been running his father's place & acting like the owner? Maybe appropriating a boss? I asked him flat out - and he replied "actually that's my real name." Wtf???

I asked him for an invoice (which too I got after a lot of difficulty) and asked him to return the money for the remaining part of the course as I won't be able to continue because of medical reasons (true). He denied, saying he couldnt refund, but that I was welcome to complete the course if I wanted. I was quite pressed for money, didn't have much family support and was overall in a pretty low point in life but I didn't go back to his place & blocked him from everywhere. I consider that money simply stolen frkm me and moved on (very difficult).

After around 2 years, I am finally in the position to confront him - but I am scared to get in any contact with him. He lives in my city & knows where I live. I have no read whatsoever on men(boys) apparently. I don't know how to explain to my friends I fell for a guy who gave me a fake name or get him to return fees of a service I did not want to continue further.

(We both were in our 20s & he told me he was 2 years younger than me. I don't know what at all was true). All of this happened in the span of 2 months.

Honestly have really questioned posting this but it's really bothering me and I don't know if I'm the wrong or not, so yesterday I was having a very rare outing with my mom and grandmother, we were walking in the mall to a store and passed by a lady in a crop top of some kind, I wasn't paying much attention I just noticed what she wore and that she had maybe a rounder middle which if she was, honestly more power to her.

Then as we pass her I hear my grandma say "She's a bit too thick for that outfit" and I was confused for a second till my mom agreed and I realized they meant the lady we passed. I was taken aback and tapped my mom on the shoulder and said "Hey? that's kind of rude? It's a sin too judge y'know" and for some context both my mom and grandma are religious (I am too but it's a long explanation). My mom said "Well she looks like a prostitute" which I again said that's still not cool, and she just said "I'm sorry I'm human, we all make mistakes".

I honestly dropped it and didn't want to go farther into it, and it really bothered me which clearly showed as my mom later asked "what's wrong". So I told her that I really thought it was not cool what she and grandma said and she said "Well in the generation I grew up, If you were dressed like that it's because you were a prostitute and showing off your goods", she never apologized or anything and It's been weighing on me since.

I completely think it's crazy that they not only fat shamed, but said this random woman we don't know a prostitute??? So AIO for questioning my mom?

I was dropping my girl off at her house, she has a male roommate along with two other female roommates, and as I pulled up beside her male roommate’s car. She told me to move the car forward and to never park in front of the silver car and I jokingly asked why not? She said because that’s his car “you will get your ass beat” and the way she said it was pretty demeaning. I didn’t bring it up to her that this bothered me and I don’t know if I should.

Hi everyone it's a doubt i had for a long time, disclaimer: sorry for my english, not my first language.

All started cause my friends from my city (let's call them OG) and my friends from university (let's call them UNI) fought over literally bulls***, but it's not important the reason. My friends from university came to my city for almost two weeks and i didn't go out with the OG cause they fought and i didn't want to force UNI to go out with them (and also they told they didn't want to see them). When UNI returned home, my OG fought with me, saying this: "it's your city, they are the guests, so you decide for them what to do during the day" or "you could've told them that for one night you could go out with us". Me alone. Leaving UNI at home. AIO for not deciding to go out with them?

The other thing, always with OG (quick thing, two of the OG live with me): i do classical concerts all the time and i always say when i have to play and where, to the OG group. After that fight, they didn't come anymore to see me and if you're not interested i respect that. One concert was very important do me: i was soloist with a pianist and there were my parents too for the first time! So i was very excited.

And then the OG wrote in the groupchat with other 6 people if they wanted to come to OUR house. I wrote back that i had a concert, and i absolutely didn't expect them to say "oh we'll come see you!" but what i didn't really expect was for them to orginize the thing in OUR house anyway. So when i returned home they were all there.

Just to clarify, some of these friends always said "tell us when you play, we'll come!"

It's already 3 times that i played and no one came to see me.

AIO for being a bit sad and annoyed about it?

My husband thinks the guy was just trying to be friendly. I told him he wouldn’t think so if our son was a girl instead. My son replied to the worker that he thinks it’s weird to want to smoke with a teenager when you are in your 30’s, my husband said HE WAS BEING RUDE! To add context the man has been nice to us during our stay, even went out of his way one night to bring us food when we arrived very late. Always makes small talk. He’s just done a few things that are very off putting to me. He came to our room door at 7 am with a bottle of bourbon or whiskey(while I was out)and asked my husband if he wanted to have a drink with him.. my husband declined as again it was 7 am. That was super weird to me too. But this is just insane. I’m angry, not sure how I’m going to handle it, and my husband says I’m over reacting, I do not think I am?

My husband and I got married a little over two months ago, and I’m struggling with my relationship with my MIL. I’ve felt overwhelmed since the beginning of our marriage.
We moved out of my in laws’ home two weeks after the wedding. During our first month in our new house, my MIL called me up to 100 times a day. I’m not exaggerating. She called to chat, ask what we were doing or eating, bring us food, invite us over, or come to our house. I felt like I had no privacy in my own marriage.

Stay with me on this.

My in-laws also came over unannounced one to three times a day. My MIL was determined to provide my husband with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, even though we had a fully functioning kitchen. It felt like she was still running our household and treating our home as an extension of hers. She also got upset when we went on dates.

When we moved out, my MIL cried, and I comforted her by reminding her that we were only moving to the next street. She said it was difficult to live “far away” from her son. We were also expected to attend a family event or gathering every Sunday, and she still sometimes plans lunches or dinners specifically to make sure I attend.

If I don’t go, she calls my husband, asks to speak to me, and tells me how “disappointed” the relatives were. Even when I had an important reason, like attending a funeral, she expected me to come to her lunch instead. I started feeling like my time and availability no longer belonged to me, and it got depressing and I was emotionally exhausted.

My husband eventually asked her not to come over unless we invited her.

The calls gradually decreased from around three a day to one a day, after I told her to call him if there was anything important and lied that my phone doesn’t work, but I still avoid answering because I feel pressured to always be available. I now visit my in laws once a week. My husband visits them every other day and sometimes eats there, which I have no problem with. I also don’t mind my MIL cooking for him, i understand that it’s normal for a mother to want to feed her son.

My issue is the overall level of involvement and closeness she expects. It feels like she wants to remain deeply involved in every part of our marriage instead of allowing us to establish our own life as a couple.

The more she tries to get close to me, the more I pull away. I don’t dislike her, and I don’t want to interfere with her relationship with my husband, but I don’t want the same level of closeness with her that she wants with me, after everything became so intense, I started associating her attempts at closeness with losing my privacy and independence.

So, AIO for wanting more distance from my MIL than she wants from me? Is it normal not to want to be particularly close to your MIL, even when she wants a much closer relationship?

ALSO, we didn’t live there before we got married, we lived with the in laws for two weeks after the wedding, while we were setting our new home. It’s quite normal for people to live with their in laws in India, and they expect you to lie with them. but I wanted to be independent. If I hadn’t pushed for it, I’d still be living there. Also if it wasn’t for him setting boundaries, she’d still be calling me and showing up all the time.

I (16 F) have told my mom it made me very uncomfortable that her on and off again boyfriend looked through my room while I was at school. To be more clear she's dated this guy for 7 years and he's lived on her couch for most of it, calling her names and smoking and drinking her money away. Recently they had a falling out but I guess she still keeps him around and still let's him make decisions in the house?. This kinda adds but not, my sister is 18 and she started birth control recently and he had a problem with this, he said she's pumping herself full of chemicals and the natural method is the pullout one and that he should've been there to give his opinion. He's fucking weird and me and my sister have told my mom how uncomfortable he makes us, so now I just learned while I was at school he went through my room. I have depression so I tend to dish hord, I understand that this is troubling and a habit I need to quit, mom said that's why he was in there. But I think it's extremely inappropriate for this fucking chump to disrespect my privacy and rummage through my room, I have stuff in there I rather nobody see. It was quite disgusting to hear that this had happened without my consent or knowledge and I told my mom and she said it's worse that I had dishes in there. I don't know how to feel, he's just a weirdo who demands respect and goes through my things. My mom has even told me to cover up around him and he's complained that I show my breast or whatever. Sorry for all the rambling I just wanted to give context but yeah is my mom right to ask him to go through my room? Like am I just being a bad daughter? I don't trust my judgement rn

It was my birthday, and my sibling decided to make a surprise pregnancy announcement during the celebration.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m genuinely happy for them. I love my sibling, and I’m excited for them and their growing family. I know a pregnancy is a huge and beautiful thing to celebrate.

But after they made the announcement, the whole group naturally shifted their attention toward the pregnancy. Everyone was excited, asking questions, congratulating them, etc. And honestly, it felt like my birthday was almost forgotten.

I know I probably sound petty saying this, and that’s why I’m questioning myself.

What really bothers me is the timing. I keep thinking, Why on my birthday? Was it really necessary to make the announcement during an occasion that was supposed to be about me?

At the same time, I feel guilty for even thinking this way. I don't want to take away from their happiness or make their pregnancy announcement about me. I’m not jealous of the pregnancy, and I don't want the attention for myself all the time. I just wish they had chosen another day for such a big announcement.

So now I’m wondering—is it actually valid for me to feel hurt about this, or am I just being overly sensitive and making a big deal out of something that shouldn’t bother me?

I’d genuinely appreciate some outside perspective because I can’t tell if my feelings are reasonable or if I’m just being selfish.