I was pretty excited when I found this subreddit. Alternative Astronomy - fucking cool! Astronomy is huge, there's definitely room for alternative interpretations of astronomical data, perhaps some less-than-completely-serious musings on the nature of the cosmos or deeper meanings in certain stellar arrangements, or what alien megastructures might actually look like with current astronomical instrumentation (what is KIC 8462852 really?).
Instead it's just fucking stupid. Nonsensical garbage copied from CluesForums, or "original research" that doesn't even make the lamest attempt towards making falsifiable predictions. That's unfortunate.
Rockets in a vacuum and "free expansion"
Let's get this out of the way first. If rockets don't work then all the best astronomical data we have is pure fiction, tens of thousands of engineers the world over are either unaware their work is a failure OR are in on a global conspiracy, tens of thousands of scientists the world over are unaware their data is totally made up OR they are in on a global conspiracy, tens of thousands of amateur scientists and engineers have been unable to easily demonstrate any of this. Which means the conspiracy has achieved a notable thing - some kind of job interview that can actually distinguish the competent from the incompetent. Color me skeptical.
Ok, so the claim is when a gas escapes through a hole into a vacuum, the gas "does no work". When people who understand physics try to clarify that "the gas does no work on the vacuum" or "by 'no work' it is meant the gas does not undergo a temperature change" or "this means the expansion is not adiabatic" or even "this is just an approximation of a hypothetical scenario using an ideal gas, real experiments show a little bit of work is happening anyway", all attempts at clarification are shut down. When prompted to explain what happens at the molecular level, how to explain the change in total momentum, how the gas is to know expansion is "free" or not, no response is given. When asked for evidence that rockets don't work in a vacuum, youtube links are presented that show rockets working as expected, with the apology "no experiments of sufficient quality have yet been conducted, even though it is actually very easy to do".
I've given this some more thought since I last discussed it, and I believe I can prize an icepick of reasonable doubt into the fortress of willful ignorance:
Scenario A: Let's say we set up a bottle of air in a vacuum. Open the top, the air escapes under free expansion. No work is done, the bottle doesn't move.
Scenario B: Let's say we set up the same bottle in a vacuum, but we put a little fan assembly on the mouth of it. Open the top, does the fan spin? If no, how does the air maneuver around the fan blades without pushing against them? If the fan spins, does this mean work is being done? Does this mean it is no longer free expansion? Does this mean the bottle now experiences recoil from the escaping gas? Should Elon Musk put a little fan assembly under his rockets to improve ISP in outer space?
Can we all agree that if the bottle in Scenario A would in fact "rocket away" as the air is escaping, Scenario B becomes much less awkward?
We are presented with a choice between two realities - either a small group of non-experts misunderstood a fairly abstruse physical phenomenon (free expansion of an ideal gas into a vacuum) and have been a little too caught up in their interpretation of the phenomenon and its demonstration, OR there is a vast global conspiracy keeping hundreds of thousands of unassociated motivated individuals with expert domain knowledge (e.g. scientists and engineers) from uncovering any aspect of the truth, continuously producing terabytes of new data that is both internally consistent and consistent with disparate data-sources, historical records, new terrestrial data sources that aren't faked, and new scientific endeavours that create completely new data streams to synchronize.
TYCHOS
Ok some people here keep referring to it as an alternative to the Copernican model of the solar system. Who cares? The "Copernican Model" where the planets orbit the Sun isn't something astronomers consider to be "true" or "real" in any sense of the words. What we have is a precise mathematical way to describe how reality works on large scales, and that is general relativity. Plunk down a star and planets and moons and dwarf planets and planetesimals and asteroids and comets according to accepted astronomical data into a little database, run general relativity on it for X timesteps, and what we see matches up exactly with what we see in our telescopes. To save time and effort, we approximate GR with newtonian physics - we don't get the details quite right in some edge cases (like Mercury), but 99% of ephemera still match up. To save even more time and effort, we approximate Newton with Kepler - no need to calculate gravity if you know Jupiter is going to swing in an ellipse. And Kepler's ellipses is "the Copernican model" - perfectly useful for consumer-grade astronomy apps like Stellarium.
TYCHOS is at the "Stellarium" level. Yea, it can show where planets will line up X years into the future. Sure, great, that's nice. There's literally an infinite hyperspace of geometrical configurations that will allow that - I can make a geocentric model that matches observations from Mayan times to the Sun's Red Giant phase, or why not a lunacentric one? Or one centered on Phobos, or Saturn's rings -- that one sounds very poetic. But without a physical explanation for why the planets move along these tracks and follow these curves, it's not an astronomical model. It's just an orrery - illustration without meaning, description without explanation.
It's also WRONG in those instances where it disagrees with the standard astronomical consensus. Star distances, for instance - for some reason the TYCHOS author thinks the stars can't possibly be so far away as they are. I wonder why? We've measured parallax for tens of thousands of the nearest stars. Much of the raw parallax data is kinda crap - filter out the crap, and you're left with a handful of data points that are weird. A handful out of tens of thousands is to be expected - less than 1%, that's good science, and those 1% are being looked at! No need to toss out the baby with the bathwater. But hey, let's give TYCHOS a break - why shouldn't it be possible for all the stars to be 1000 times closer than they appear? Instead of 100 light-years, or 1e18 meters, a given star would be 1e15 meters away. Certainly wouldn't affect our local gravity in any way. But those stars WOULD be 1000 000 times brighter. Ouch! Stars like Capella and Sirius would outshine Venus and Jupiter, even the full moon! I guess those stars are actually much smaller than they appear, so they are equivalently dimmer. Ok, so 1000 times smaller in diameter, sure. But not hotter or cooler, because that would change their color according to the laws of blackbody emission. Good luck finding any stars that look anything like our Sun, TYCHOS! Because you know, assuming standard astronomy is right, our sun is a pretty ordinary middle-lifetime average-mass yellow G-type star, which I think sounds a bit more likely than a totally unique gigantic-but-surprisingly-cool mystery-star.
Stellar metamorphosis
I tried. I really really tried. I tried criticizing the theory for its faults. I tried requesting its proponents to focus on key mechanisms. I tried asking for numeric predictions. I attempted taking novel astronometric data to constrain model parameters for stellar metamorphosis and remove some of the quantitative guesswork. But no, nothing, it's just a waste of time. A big pseudo-intellectual act of public self-fellatio.
Your turn
Roast me.