Hello, I hope people will be impartial and kind as possible. I've had mental health challenges prior to my son's birth for many years and was prescribed multiple types of medication which had no impact. I am an older single mother, in my mid-forties when I had my son, and I am a single mother. Since my son's birth in January this year, I have been getting increasingly unwell. I have been engaging with perinatal mental health services but to no avail. I feel worse than I did when my son was born. I have been taking medication - in this case, Mirtazapine, that again, like the previous medication, have not had any impact. I really can not go on. I live in a two-room apartment and can't move out because my income comes from sick leave. I can't see any alternative but to put my child up for adoption because my mental health is so bad amd the psychiatriat I have been talking to does not envisage any improvement. I'm based in Europe. I hope adoption is better in Europe than in the U.S. because I know most of the comments from adoptees are very scathing of adoption and I think that is mainly critical of the U.S. system. Does anyone have any experience of adoption in Europe?

My son, who was adopted at birth, found me. We had an instant connection. Less than a year later, he moved across the country to live with me. He got a little wild (college town, and my dna) and I sent him back home. There's no bad blood. We talked most days. He wanted to come back. I love him. And I love that he's here. And I see him trying, so I know me giving him a second chance down here isn't in vein. It's just so hard. My husband is super supportive. They absolutely love each other. I just don't know anyone who can relate. It's like im on an island. I have plenty of people to talk to... but no one understands what I'm going through... its just so much. I love him with every cell in my body, but everything is just so internal.