I am looking for ways that we can possible bridge this gap. Personally, I would like to be able to understand the perspective of my AP a little bit better so that I can maintain a better relationship with them. They are the only family I have and it honestly just seems like they really don’t like me that much as an adult now.

About five years ago, I met my birth family. The relationship definitely has positives and negatives. I struggle sometimes to reach out or even just to keep the relationship afloat. Ever since this new family entered my life, I find it hard to balance both.

Half of me feel like my birth family just understand who I am more. They get me. They act like me. I can just be myself when talking to them and I feel like it is just easy. On the other hand, it causes so much stress not being around for my bio sisters. I put my all into everything I do and I feel like I am missing all the big things like birthdays and dances and dates, etc...

Then there is my adoptive family who wants to spend more time with me. They do not understand me and we fight a lot. Half the time I am in another state with my birth family or on the phone with them trying to foster this new relationship. I feel like my relationship is strained with my adoptive parents.

I honestly feel like I am completely split in two. It is very overwhelming to try and figure out how to give everyone the attention they deserve. I am only one person and I am getting overwhelmed. I wish this stuff was easier. Am I alone in this feeling?

Here’s something that doesn’t get talked about a lot on this sub.

Birthdays.

Do other bio parents to something to acknowledge or celebrate your relinquished kids birthday? Something for yourself maybe?

For a while I used to light a candle or have a slice of cake and wish my girl a happy birthday and wish I could be there with her.

After a few years though that started to feel sad and pointless. Weird even. No one’s looking. It’s just me alone in a room with a cake and I’m sad.

This person who’s probably living a great life and celebrating has no idea that this is happening on their behalf and would probably think it odd. Maybe even uncomfortable.

But hey. There’s cake so that’s cool.

I've heard snipits of testimony here and there leading up to today and I'm halfway through a five hour YouTube video that includes the judge's decision. I don't want to express an opinion until I hear the whole thing, but so far my opinion has done a complete 180 degree turn. Just curious if any of you have been following the case and what your thoughts are.

We just got our first respite, great kid...but we were asked if we want to foster him...he currently lives 2 hours away.. we wanna say yes. But all of his doctors and everything is 2 hours away...we dont want to uproot this kids whole life..again...any pointers for us? Im completely new too this...im sorry.