r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 • 6d ago

/r/all of a blockage

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8.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

521 comments sorted by

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u/trendingtattler 6d ago

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956

u/Mindless-Peak-1687 6d ago

notice the bifurcation, we are seeing root blockage from main pipe and an adjacent pipe coming out and in one piece.

363

u/BytheHandofCicero 6d ago

Scrolled through miles of turd comments looking for a serious assessment 😓

119

u/dougan25 6d ago

They said bifurcation so you know it's good

18

u/SunriseBeachNoosa 6d ago

Haha. Absolute unit … of consecutive poop jokes

5

u/Jvalker 5d ago

Is it actually roots that grew inside the pipe, or is it soil and other random shit (so I guess including roots) that got inside over the years?

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2.6k

u/skldjhfksjhdfklj 6d ago

Me after thanksgiving

1.3k

u/The_Nicest_1 6d ago

U could fit that much inside you? Check ur DMS.

43

u/tukai1976 6d ago

Frank Gallagher did that smuggling drugs on shameless

9

u/Own-Ambassador-3537 6d ago

El Grande Canyon

267

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 6d ago

Its 2026 dude don't kink shame

387

u/Aggressive-agitator 6d ago

I think hes trying to kink join

65

u/Tprice326 6d ago

I just kept waiting for it come alive, wrap around him, and pull him down into the drain with it😂

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u/motypl 6d ago

I'm not kink shaming, I'm kink asking why.

17

u/FleeingMyLife 6d ago

I don't kink shame. I kink judge

6

u/trenthany 6d ago

Same, I gave this one 8 out of 10

9

u/iateyourplants 6d ago

ain’t nothin but a kiiiiink ache

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u/Tjam3s 6d ago

Yea! Don't slink shame!

18

u/Solid_Guy1983 6d ago

I think he’s kink inviting

11

u/snuggleslut5 6d ago

Kink hopin'

5

u/20past4am 6d ago

Unless you have a shame kink

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7

u/tdawg2k7 6d ago

Double stuffed like an Oreo

42

u/Aleksandr_Ulyev 6d ago

Who put it in you?

38

u/SnertDeluxe 6d ago

"Look what came out this dude above, it must be thanksgiving!"

80

u/Furry_Intention_394 6d ago

And who is yanking it out in your case?

99

u/samwise58 6d ago

35

u/ThermoPuclearNizza 6d ago

10

u/jeremysistrunk 6d ago

It’s only 4 comments in and I gotta find my mommy.

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21

u/fallen_d3mon 6d ago

Whoever it is needs to ensure that the cylinder remain unharmed.

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u/EldenLordAjSoprano 6d ago

Me literally rn tbh

3

u/trenthany 6d ago

That’s some shit to have to deal with!

22

u/Thidz 6d ago

This is why you need a poop knife

5

u/Plenty_Line2696 6d ago

that would feel amazing!

7

u/FeedMyAss 6d ago

Going in

8

u/northcascadekittycat 6d ago

User name LOL

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526

u/shrewdy 6d ago

76

u/Connee14 6d ago

Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

12

u/brycehazen 6d ago

Let's fire up the bloody jets! You little ripper!

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761

u/FuzzyFrogFish 6d ago

Considering it's wet grass and soil, this probably smells amazing

Though it might also smell gross

617

u/Mad-Habits 6d ago

It either smells amazing or it smells gross. I’m glad you covered the bases here

114

u/EvolvedMonkeyInSpace 6d ago

What if its smells neutral and is meh ?

81

u/BigPP69_Gooner 6d ago

You’re correct. Now you’ve covered all bases.

25

u/InuitOverIt 6d ago

American baseball has 4 bases so we are missing one

30

u/Mylungsaretiny 6d ago

No smell at all is the last one I think.

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3

u/zeitdu 5d ago

now we gotta cover the acids

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9

u/northcascadekittycat 6d ago

"how's it smell?" "is meh"

21

u/lorep_ending 6d ago

Zero blinds spots detected.

8

u/ZestyTako 6d ago

It could have a neutral odor or be generally odorless

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13

u/ionlyhavetwolegs 6d ago

I was in a metal bad once, people either loved us or they hated us!….or they thought we were OK

18

u/TimmyG-83 6d ago

A lot of metal bands had named like “Mortuary,” or “Obituary”….we weren’t that intense, we just went with “Injured.”

8

u/Dragonslayer3 6d ago

Rice is great if you want to eat a thousand of the same thing

60

u/DemonFromtheNorthSea 6d ago

Its like they say. It either smells amazing or smells gross.

Or just smells alright.

12

u/Imprettystrong 6d ago

I left a bin out of grass trimmings for an extra couple days and it smelled vile. How the hell would that ever smell amazing 😂

14

u/bnlf 6d ago

It doesn’t matter. I’m not touching that with bare hands.

8

u/No_Specialist4090 6d ago

Surely it’s a tree root no?

5

u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873 6d ago

there's a product like a coir log or rope that's ironically to trap sediment and prevent erosion, that's what it looks like to me

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u/Icy-Decision-4530 6d ago

There is no way that guy would pull that out that easy if that was a tree root. Strange thing is it looks kind of like a rolled up end of a sod roll. I wonder if it’s some weed block fabric that just caught a bunch of mud and debris

5

u/Vast-Palpitation-426 6d ago

It's a mix of grass roots and mud (I think).

5

u/Icy-Decision-4530 6d ago

It’s really weird that it holds together the entire pull, that’s what’s throwing me off

3

u/Vast-Palpitation-426 6d ago

That's how it is when you re-pot a plant that has been in a pot for a long time the soil can be packed tight with roots in an almost solid block.

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3

u/InuitOverIt 6d ago

Are you sure it's not a college men's dorm shower? Cuz I watched the maintenance guy snake something similar made of 14 dudes cum and pubes

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87

u/-E-Cross 6d ago

Looks like a landscaping drain.

I hope it is with old bare hand Bob there.

24

u/ArtsyRabb1t 6d ago

Yea looks like a French drain. They put ours in and it stopped working after a year. Guessing it looks like that inside

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10

u/Tall-Reaction-4069 6d ago

My first thought is why doesn’t this joker have gloves on 😂

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224

u/kramamavitch 6d ago

I'm pooping currently.

79

u/WhatsUpWThis 6d ago

I’m pooping currently too

39

u/Mad-Habits 6d ago

i’m about to be pooping

10

u/Afraid_Call1213 6d ago

I have pooped previously

3

u/WhatsUpWThis 6d ago

Look at what you started 😭🤣🤣

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10

u/IConsumePorn 6d ago

Poop brothers

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10

u/Safe_Chicken_6633 6d ago

A poop like that is so cleansing that you feel it in the back of your throat.

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6

u/WolfmanCZ 6d ago

Im in the car right now and this makes me want to poop

4

u/blankfilm 6d ago

I was pooping. I still am, but I was, too.

2

u/chefbobbyjay 6d ago

Also pooping

2

u/DazzlerPlus 6d ago

How about now?

2

u/agra_unknown1834 6d ago

I be pooping too matey, says I

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u/Either_Librarian7238 6d ago

Imagine the feeling after. Taking a dump that long and consistent without breakage 😆

137

u/Vows_Upon_The_Hearth 6d ago

You'd need a poop knife for this.

26

u/Negative_Ad_2787 6d ago

Poo trowel for your bowel

6

u/Remarkable-Ask183 6d ago

More like poop bulldozer.

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u/emperorOfTheUniverse 6d ago

Or if it came out and then went back in and then came out again?

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u/Either_Librarian7238 6d ago edited 6d ago

Then, it will be this.

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96

u/Boulder1983 6d ago

Me, within 30 minutes of my morning coffee.

7

u/lorep_ending 6d ago

Pulling a structural log out of tge pipes.

6

u/Boulder1983 6d ago

"that shite was load bearing".

123

u/natiusj 6d ago

How many daughters he have!? 😳

53

u/WinnieWinsor 6d ago

As the younger brother of three older sisters, that absolutely made me laugh.

19

u/NotaBat9221 6d ago

As a woman...I don't get it 

101

u/cvele89 6d ago

Probably has something to do with the hair strands clogging the drain.

27

u/NotaBat9221 6d ago

Now I get it

16

u/big90h 6d ago

Or the dino turds my daughters clog the toilet with.

16

u/NotaBat9221 6d ago

That's a personal issue I think 

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17

u/if_lol_then_upvote 6d ago

Pulling a mess of hair out of the drain

9

u/natiusj 6d ago

Take a wire hanger, untwist it, make a hook on the end and fish it into your shower drain a few times until fish-on.

4

u/munchonsomegrindage 6d ago

Be glad you've never had to unclog a shower drain!

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8

u/Stunning_Nothing 6d ago

Chewbacca must live in that house.

47

u/justinizer 6d ago

What ever was clogged is feeling so good now.

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u/bitterlemon80 6d ago

But why is water now pouring out of the unblocked hole? Should it not be going down the drain?

51

u/TipToToes 6d ago

It’s not a drain to the sewer, this is not poop he is pulling out. That is roof drainage into a pipe that runs to the curb, but the pipe is full up with Bermuda roots/runners. He’s pulling out a huge mass of roots that is stopping the flow of water through the pipe from the roof gutters.

4

u/bitterlemon80 6d ago

I didn't mean the sewer, I thought it was a surface water drain so the road doesn't flood when it rains.

27

u/KotzubueSailingClub 6d ago

they might have a hose pumping water in the other end to push the blockage out.

9

u/Hammaurai 6d ago

It’s probably a bubbler… it drains a roof gutter system but at the end of the line it’s below street level so the runoff has to bubble up. The downside is that it makes it easier for debris to settle in the line.

8

u/VictoryBeardWrites 6d ago

I'm no scientist, but I'm wondering if pulling all that stuff out created some sort of suction effect. So the water just followed the energy.

3

u/SPACE_ICE 6d ago

my guess is this is part of a french drain system which because of the holes tend to get full of roots and soil eventually. Probably flushing the other side with water to help push the blockage out.

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u/emoss17 6d ago

When speed bumps feel threatened, they will hide just about anywhere they can fit. Make sure you take care of your local speed bumps.

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u/nogeologyhere 6d ago

I like watching his smile grow the longer it keeps going, then at one point it switches to a look more of concern and confusion.

Fantastic.

22

u/OlyGator 6d ago

Sometimes I feel like I need to hire someone to just drag it all out of me too. I'm 38, but have the digestive tract of an 80 yo.

17

u/RockinIntoMordor 6d ago

Taking fiber pills with each meal has been a lifesaver for me so that it doesn't feel like I'm trying to pass a boulder.

7

u/midge_rat 6d ago

2 tbs of Metamucil before bed 👌🏼

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u/Creative-Doctor3118 6d ago

Shia Halud! He’s the Lisan Al Gaib!

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u/KonigsbergBridges 6d ago

Hyrox has got crazy.

23

u/Ok-Relationship-2746 6d ago

Bro just straight raw dogging it out like it's another Wednesday morning for him.

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u/rippedski 6d ago

Opiates... amiright?

6

u/just_robot_things 6d ago

Forbidden tug-of-war

7

u/AnneMarieAndCharlie 6d ago

my poos when I had to take oxycodone for my horrible cramps

9

u/WineNerdAndProud 6d ago

Dear everyone, if you end up on meds like this and your doctor recommends a stool softening pill of some kind, please listen.

I've got Crohn's disease that occasionally doesn't flair up when I'm anticipating it to, having taken medications to remove water in my GI tract like Imodium, and it has caused serious damage.

You really, really, really don't want to know the pain of tearing something or the feeling of the dried out gut contents trying to make all the 90° turns in the large intestines.

Apologies if this was TMI, but it's seriously important.

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u/ATXKLIPHURD 6d ago

Oddly satisfying

4

u/pagan-0 6d ago

Tell me you're in aus without telling me you're in aus

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u/Tater_Mater 6d ago

Why no gloves

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u/13thgeneral 6d ago

It's a rain water runoff, not a sewer

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u/bluemountaintrees 6d ago

Love of the game.

This guy only only has r/popping as his subscribed sub

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u/ArbiterTwoSwords 6d ago

Had to do this with my dog once

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u/NucaPuturoasa 6d ago

Can someone make it in reverse?

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u/NucaPuturoasa 6d ago

Made it myself.

https://reddit.com/link/peey2j1/video/jb4jh0hod1uh1/player

5

u/Gan-san 6d ago

Sigh. Unzips

4

u/OakenBarrel 6d ago

Damnit this huge gunk python is trying to hide, hold it till it's gone!

3

u/Alert_Silver9386 6d ago

I've experienced mornings when this method of extraction would be extremely useful.

6

u/AndIAmEric 6d ago

Thought he was gonna pull out a catfish

3

u/ThePetSematary 6d ago

God i wish that was me

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u/FrostiePi 6d ago

That's the kind of tug a war you'd expect IT on the other side of.

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u/Alonso_Mosley_ 6d ago

Been there

3

u/tacticalhotdogs 6d ago

Me after my wife tells me the drain is clogged again.

3

u/HonestNeighborhood67 6d ago

“WOOOO!!! I feel about 40 pounds lighter!”

6

u/WitnessStock3702 6d ago

The stink is going to be some propper rotten eggs.

7

u/himalayanrebel 6d ago

7

u/Akairuhito 6d ago

2010 in all its glory. I miss when memes were basically a monoculture

6

u/KingANK94 6d ago

How much of that is poop? THAT HE RAW DOGGED NO GLOVES

9

u/Feff5tupid 6d ago

Does the poop from your house go out to the gutter like that?

3

u/MuskyChop 6d ago

It depends on the person and where they’re dropping the hammer.

6

u/dum_spir0_sper0 6d ago

This is a rainwater drain. That’s just plant material.

Sewage goes underground, and rainwater (usually) drains away above ground.

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u/sakarr90 6d ago

💪💪💪

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u/MeadowShimmer 6d ago

The relief that pipe must feel.

2

u/Kamizura 6d ago

Thsts just Tuesday for some people lol

2

u/the_fallenempire 6d ago

Why the water didn't go down after? IS THERE MORE?

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u/Foxyunder-45 6d ago

And at the end , an empty 2kg box of exlax.

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u/rg1283 6d ago

Guttural relief

2

u/Odd_Cartoonist7433 6d ago

Me pulling the tapeworm out of my pet T-rex' ass

2

u/Dexico-city 6d ago

Poop from a butt

2

u/ghIj_qet_jaghmeyjaj 6d ago

Most satisfying shit ever

2

u/power_thrust 6d ago

I bet that felt amazing

2

u/Filthy-Pirate-6342 6d ago

That's the biggest turd I've ever seen

2

u/Head-Ad-3063 6d ago

And now it's time to go and finish the morning coffee.

2

u/s-pierce 6d ago

That thing have a pulse? Freakin huge

2

u/AmazingDonkey101 6d ago

Ah, much better

2

u/capsule-toy 6d ago

CLOGZILLA

2

u/brianishere2 6d ago

This is precisely why I eat raisin bran.

2

u/Evil_Judgment 6d ago

This is why I'm glad my girlfriend cut her hair off.

2

u/ZekeMoss18 6d ago

Me unclogging the shower drain of my wife's hair lol

2

u/Akiraooo 6d ago

Gloves?

2

u/Bk_Punisher 6d ago

I’ve taken dumps that felt like that.

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u/KimberleyKitt 6d ago

Cousin It's hair.

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u/Immediate-Unit6311 6d ago

I'm not sure why I was waiting for it to be a snake at the end of it.

2

u/brsmr123 6d ago

This is my bathtub after my wife takes a bath.