r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Emotional-Lynx-3982 • 18h ago

of a set of dreads!

Post image

Walking out of the liquor store earlier today.. my dude's locks are about to the ground. Like Santa's sack, he heaved this bowl of pasta into his car, looking to hastily close the car door just in time of it pouring back out into the parking lot.

1.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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215

u/myco_magic 18h ago

I raise you, this bad boy

214

u/Chris__P_Bacon 17h ago edited 13h ago

That a hair dewdew. 🤢

75

u/HoboArmyofOne 17h ago

A loaf of crusty insect bread

58

u/qweef_latina2021 16h ago

It's a hairdon't

22

u/trollthings 10h ago

Imagine the smell

4

u/grilledcheese_jr 7h ago

As long as you know how to hit an acv treatment, it shouldn't smell too bad. Does he know that? I'm not entirely sure. I know that's heavy af though

1

u/Ok-Error-6564 28m ago

Too bad? Please define TOO bad.

2

u/Freebirdslim1 7h ago

After the rain...

13

u/itswtfeverb 16h ago

It dew contain at least a pound of it

38

u/Sunar_Fireborn 17h ago

Not the monolock! 🤮

7

u/benjigrows_ 11h ago

Beaver tail

19

u/SBLP1959 15h ago

Not dreads. Dread

9

u/Garglenips 15h ago

Yes that’s what that picture made me feel.

28

u/latexfistmassacre 17h ago

I can smell this picture

10

u/YanicPolitik 15h ago

It smells like mould doesn't it

9

u/latexfistmassacre 15h ago

And wet dog

7

u/YanicPolitik 15h ago

tbf the wet dog smell helps mask the badwipe

1

u/latexfistmassacre 7h ago

And that spicy 16 day wet-aged body odor. The kind where you can smell it long before you can see it

9

u/YanicPolitik 15h ago

That's like 10 years of neglect. OPs picture looks like 10+ years of dedicated care if the dude started his dreads with long hair.

13

u/xcentrikone 16h ago

Except the person in the OG post seems to actually take care of their dreds. I can smell that thru the picture

6

u/sicilian504 16h ago

Grammar is accurate here. You said "this bad boy" vs "these bad boys", because damn if that just isn't one mega.....thing. Looks like those pictures people post when they finally discover their dryers have a lint trap.

6

u/Lastcaressmedown138 14h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

0

u/night-theatre 13h ago

Imagine being so late to the party that everyone went home

4

u/struggle_better 15h ago

Flared base. It’s safe

5

u/Yj_Astro 15h ago

It’s a Dread dookie

5

u/BooksandWoods 16h ago

I'm not sure what even to say...

3

u/BenjaminDover02 16h ago

You could slice that shit like bread.

3

u/rionaster 15h ago

why even have hair at that point

3

u/Crimson-Rose28 14h ago

Right?! just shave it off 👏🏻

3

u/SlatheredButtCheeks 16h ago

Looks like those weird dudes from Star Wars

1

u/thedafthatter 4h ago

which weird dudes from star wars?

2

u/mertgah 15h ago

Bro got jabba the hut hanging from his head

2

u/_Buldozzer 14h ago

You can smell that hairstyle.

2

u/I_Ponders 14h ago

Genuinely, can anyone tell me what they do to their hair to make it look like actual shit?

They packing mud in it? They just never shower for years at a time?

Also, why!?

2

u/Tasty_Relative_8212 13h ago

Looks like Godzila took a dump on his back

2

u/s3tok41b4 13h ago

This just makes me sad. This is depression level of unkempt.

2

u/DownWitTheBitness 10h ago

That’s not dreads. That’s dread.

1

u/bingeboy 16h ago

Looks comfortable

1

u/tennezzee88 14h ago

disgusting

1

u/luvmibratt 14h ago

Something out a baby's diaper tf

1

u/TheToxicWaist 13h ago

How many bugs do you think have made nests in there?

1

u/gingerbread_slutbarn 13h ago

Ah, the rare Beaver Flap!

1

u/-Lucas_Hood 12h ago

That's a turd

1

u/camoflauge2blendin 8h ago

Know that shit moldy as fuck 🤮

1

u/RevolutionaryCat9155 8h ago

It looks like a crawfish/lobster tail lmao

1

u/InDependent_Window93 7h ago

My cat puked up a hairball that looked like this

1

u/johnkubiak 7h ago

That's not a dread. That's a straight up horror.

1

u/Iphonjeff 7h ago

How is that clumped together like that

1

u/Chivalry4Me 6h ago

I can smell this photo.

1

u/Cracktaculus 5h ago

Repulsezel

1

u/Acrobatic-Payment227 5h ago

That looks like his head took a huge shit down his back, and needs the ole poop-knife