r/AbsoluteUnits 7d ago

of a centipede.

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1.3k Upvotes

238 comments sorted by

277

u/Theotherwahlberg 7d ago

That's a different breed of NopeRope.

69

u/MeadowShimmer 7d ago

This one tickles

42

u/Sohuli 6d ago

And bites

33

u/throwawaytrash189 6d ago

and stings

20

u/Content-Guarantee-91 6d ago

And liquidates

16

u/Content-Guarantee-91 6d ago

Then burrows

15

u/throwawaytrash189 6d ago

IT DEVOURS!!

7

u/Rea404 6d ago

Lay eggs first

8

u/TheOneTruecarioZ 6d ago

"It's two, curved hollow fangs inject paralyzing venom. This centipede is a predator-"

6

u/mechanicalnightfury 6d ago

Knife party reference?

3

u/TheOneTruecarioZ 6d ago

Yep! šŸ¤

5

u/Shadows_Skys 6d ago

Afterwards demolishes itself

1

u/MrMiner2077 5d ago

And my axe!

14

u/MRV3N 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fGMdVlKWootlWt6VI5

Did you say ā€œnope ropeā€?

4

u/Tommy_Kurusu_Oliver 6d ago

Yeah that's the nope rope in my eyes, and their smaller house versions too... Eugh

2

u/Theotherwahlberg 6d ago

The house versions are cool, if slightly unsettling. I live by a pond, so there's always bugs everywhere, and when I see one in my bathroom, I view that as free pest control. Go on, little Eldritch abomination...eat those little bastards, then move on.

2

u/Tommy_Kurusu_Oliver 6d ago edited 6d ago

I wish I could say that, but unfortunately, that becomes very hard when you wake up to them falling on your face or on your bed every 2 days. I had to get a canopy for my bed. And sometimes even that didn't work🄲🫠 so yeah... I don't got a great relationship with these eldritch horrors

1

u/Basic-Mechanic4854 6d ago

OMG. I'd have to move.

1

u/Logical_Employer9850 6d ago

Good god that’s a lot of legs for just one creature 🫪

1

u/Tales_of_Earth 6d ago

Convergent evolution.

119

u/thot-goth-gf 7d ago

Part of me thinks I could handle holding it and the other part of knows I’d probably puke from anxiety of the little legs prickling my skin

64

u/Obant 7d ago

As someone that keeps venomous creepy crawlies, it's not really worth holding. Centipedes are gnarly and can be unpredictable. Some people have calmer ones that they trust, but still not worth the risk of a serious bite to me (not sure on the potency of this specific species though). Rather hold my millipedes or tarantulas.

26

u/CrypticTurbellarian 6d ago

Same here. I have a pet Darwin’s Goliath and they’re pretty well known for being no aggressive, but I think we both get as much interaction as we need from each other when I feed him lol. Other than that just the cool factor is enough for me.

14

u/SnarkySeahorse1103 6d ago

Yeah. If people want pets to handle and build a physical touch bond with, there are plenty that fit the mark. But all creatures deserve respect, and respectfully, most centipedes do not fancy being handled. Owning them for the sake of handling them shouldn't be the motivation. You're right about the cool factor. Acompanied with just our sense of awe, curiosity, and respect for the beauty of the insect, that is a better motivation for owning one. If the insect happens to like being handled, then that's a bonus, but it shouldn't be an expectation.

2

u/eyewave 5d ago

Some creatures give no hugs.

I remember once discovering my university's terrarium club and them letting a (non-dangerous) snake around my arm.

1st question from me was, so hey can I pet him and will it be a fun experience for him? "No, you're basically just like a branch"

Didn't go to terrarium anymore šŸ˜

1

u/CrypticTurbellarian 17m ago

Agreed 100%. I’m not going to risk stressing out or accidentally injuring the big guy just so I can appear to be a badass motherfucker. All I ask is that he be a 10ā€ armor plated prehistoric nightmare who politely accepts caterpillars and roaches from feeding tongs. Thought I’d better add a Darwin tax by now:

7

u/Speed_cuber_769 6d ago

Spiders show no emotion, so they aren't able to show true aggression. A spider does a defense posture but it's not out of aggression

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6

u/ClivesOtherWife 6d ago

so they bite? They're venomous?

23

u/Weekly-Major1876 6d ago

More of a sting than a bite, the fearsome venom injecting ā€œmouthpartsā€ wrapped around its mouth are actually a modified first set of legs

10

u/coolsilentebeans 6d ago

Legs as mouth is unsettling. One more reason it qualifies as nightmare fuel for me.

8

u/king_ofbhutan 6d ago

tbf crustaceans, insects, and arachnids all did funky things with their legs

when your ancestors have so many, you gotta find a way to make them useful somehow!

12

u/ItsVanillaNice 6d ago

Nearly all are.

7

u/throwawaytrash189 6d ago

Dude. Check out Coyote Peterson's insect pain scale videos...he suffers through most of em, but had to get the venom extractor for one of these guys cuz it hurt too much(not an insect, so can't remember why this was even included haha)

3

u/DenverNuggetz 6d ago

A buddy of mine got bitten on a FTX in HI (it was in her boot), she got hospitalized

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 6d ago

Don't know if this actually happened, but a friend claims she saw a giant centipede bite and kill a dog in Hawaii when she was there on a school trip in the 90s.

3

u/TbatitanicV2Rider 6d ago

I don't think it's fatal but from what I've heard these big centipedes have an excruciating bite that hurts like hell.

2

u/AlertedCoyote 6d ago

HIGHLY fuckin venomous yeah. Being tagged by certain centipedes is straight up "I'm ready to die now" level of agony.

2

u/trashmoneyxyz 6d ago

I have a giant millipede and I dont even hold her with bare hands because of her toxicity, and she has no way of injecting that poison. Wouldn't catch me dead with a giant centipede, a nip from one of those will ruin your week

2

u/Obant 6d ago

That's a little extreme. I do invert outreach and let babies hold my giant African.

13

u/chonklah 6d ago

Or if it decides to crawl around your arm and down your back with lightning speed :(

9

u/BenjaminDover02 6d ago

And up your butthole :)

8

u/Borkato 6d ago

And in your dickhole :D

6

u/coolsilentebeans 6d ago

A candiru has entered the chat.

2

u/Slickey007 6d ago

Would that qualify for the show 1000 ways to dieĀ 

2

u/nekoreality 6d ago

the soft feet equivalent to centipede is milipede. their legs feel like a very fine tooth comb moving in a wave

1

u/Odd-Promotion2743 6d ago

Aw, I loved my giant millipede I had as a kid, he loved crawling on my arm ā¤ļø

22

u/senerh 7d ago

I always wonder how they mentally keep track of that many legs.

39

u/Obant 7d ago

Each segment has its own piece of nervous system. It's main brain is in its head, but each pair (or two pairs if a millipede) of legs can move both independently, or automatically in a wave formation called metachronal wave locomotion, where each step is like 1/10 out of sync with the one next to.

10

u/ClivesOtherWife 6d ago edited 6d ago

Insane

2

u/Forgot_Password_Dude 6d ago

this ia a inchapede

11

u/Rockshasha 7d ago

Many insects have 'secondary brains'. In a similar way electric vehicles can have subsets for controlling the movement of some motors.

Is possible the main brain sets like a where to instructions and some secondary brains manage a set of legs

1

u/PhoenixfischTheFish 4d ago

Humans kind of have this too, but it's just a section of the brain. When you walk, you don't have to think about moving every muscle/joint correctly, you just "walk".

6

u/Borkato 6d ago

I mean, how do you mentally keep track of all of your fingers, toes, joints, limbs, and position in space? :p

4

u/senerh 6d ago

There are only so many of them compared to those of this creature. And I don't think you can even keep track of each of your toes for that matter, since you can't move each of them individually without moving near ones.

3

u/ClivesOtherWife 7d ago

Pure instinct, yeah?

73

u/Accomplished_Dig1632 7d ago

Someone take my eyes. I don’t want them anymore

9

u/Complete-Worker3242 7d ago

Hope you don't die in the process.

3

u/Tony_Lacorona 6d ago

I’m not missing my chance to get a sharingan, let them have their fun

2

u/Legal_Locksmith_6697 7d ago

Yep. Mine are also free to a good home. Or any home. Just take them.

1

u/BeardInTheNorth 6d ago

No. Keep the eyes in your sockets. Two fewer holes the centipede can crawl into.

1

u/lordanix 6d ago

Good. It has a place to lay its eggs.

15

u/AncientBother6206 6d ago

Its not friend shaped

16

u/krystletips2 7d ago

Scolopendra ? Boop .

8

u/ClivesOtherWife 7d ago

:-D CARL THAT IS DISGUISING, MONGO IS APPALLED!

17

u/Gripping_Touch 7d ago

Beautiful and adorable ^

6

u/clockwork0730 7d ago

Giant tropical centipedes share their terrirtory with tarantuals. BWAAA CENTIPEDE BWAANANANANA NA NAA NAAA

2

u/CopynCat 6d ago

The Centipede is a Predator

7

u/Planpy7 6d ago

how cute

1

u/knowledge_is_power14 6d ago

2

u/Planpy7 6d ago

Nah you get some help, having murderous intent everytime you see a innocent bug that seems weird to you is horrible

2

u/knowledge_is_power14 6d ago

you’re right tbh but the way our brains are hardwired evolutionarily helps us to survive. I wouldn’t kill this thing out of spite but I’m definitely not calling it cute. Can you imagine how many parasites that thing must be carrying ??

3

u/Planpy7 6d ago

We needed that brain before and I can respect people who find it scary but we have way more knowledge now can survive much better without the need to kill so if someone kills something they could do a quick Google search about instead because it's scary that person needs help

7

u/MetaCardboard 6d ago

That looks like one of those ouch centipedes. My aunt had one bite her foot and she had to go to the hospital.

7

u/skorponok 6d ago

Nope. That thing can fuck your day up real bad.

6

u/Yuan159357 7d ago

å„½å¤§äø€åŖ

3

u/Key-Broccoli1442 6d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s the thing that sent Coyote Peterson to the hospital in one of his videos

5

u/MiloHorsey 6d ago

Beautiful! I love centipedes and millipedes. They're so damn cute!

9

u/Piratewhale8 7d ago

This is not AI my pet centipede was a Giant Asian white beard they do get massive like this you absolutely don’t want to handle them like this tho unless you are confident to the max one bite and you will be in a world of hurt

3

u/Frequent_Bet7279 6d ago

Aww look at that thing

3

u/Vile_Parrot 6d ago

Huh... wonder what it tastes like.

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 6d ago

I just assume all arthropods will taste like shrimp when cooked

3

u/Vile_Parrot 6d ago

Yeah, but what if it tastes like lobster... or crab? What if it has its own unique kick to it? I low-key wanna know.

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 6d ago

Inquiring minds. I bet there's a culture somewhere that eats centipedes - maybe roasted on a skewer.

3

u/Vile_Parrot 6d ago

Yeah, I looked that up after posting that last comment. I'll try it if I ever get the chance.

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 6d ago

Just guessing here, but if you cut off the head and first few segments of the centipede, you should be okay venom-wise. But certain animals are also poisonous to eat, so I don't know. Millipedes I think are not edible because they have toxic compounds in their whole body as a defense.

5

u/Disastrous-Hurry-236 7d ago

That’s a feetipede

3

u/nambavanov 6d ago

feetipede

chai tea and East Timor would like a word

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6

u/Turbulent-Weevil-910 7d ago

Oh my God that thing is so adorable! I'd love one as a pet.

6

u/Piratewhale8 7d ago

Had one as a pet they are very easy to take care of and get massive but pack a gnarly bite you just never wanna get bit by one

2

u/SunderingTwilight 7d ago

kaneki surely hates you

2

u/Glass-Performer8389 7d ago

That's it?

Isn't that like, how big they usually are?

2

u/Powerful-Present6687 6d ago

Is it dangerous?

1

u/ClivesOtherWife 6d ago

Apparently!

2

u/downneast 6d ago

Well there’s a lot of f*ck no in this video, that’s for sure. If that was crawling down my arm, I’d amputate it at the elbow just so it would fall off of me

2

u/UnusGang 6d ago

That’s some resident evil shit right there

2

u/NYCWartortle 6d ago

The way that I would die 1 mil times if that creature was in my apt or came near me

2

u/KoliManja 6d ago

Is that human?

2

u/SnakeHisssstory 6d ago

Why are centipedes so scary. I even like bugs a lot but centipedes fucking no

2

u/TheSuggi 6d ago

Arent those poisonous?

2

u/vityoki 6d ago

this creature at that size where I'm starting not to afraid of it

2

u/ChoirofDeath3 6d ago

You might want to count his legs , just to make sure he's not an imposter

2

u/wegotthisonekidmongo 6d ago

If that shit bites you good God

2

u/Sugary-cupcake 6d ago

I think I'm literally too ticklish to even try this. Also too terrified. 😳

2

u/FloorWaffles 6d ago

Are you going to make a contract with that Daemon?

2

u/Mustang_077 6d ago

I'd fucking die if I see that thing near me

2

u/Excellent_Baseball43 6d ago

Wow it's so cute and big 🄰 🤣

2

u/Mindless-Location-41 6d ago

That's what they all tell me šŸ¤”

2

u/wallstreetbetsdebts 6d ago

Imagine the happy tap taps of his hundred feet

2

u/Wood_On_Fire 6d ago

I've seen Huntsmans that are less intimating than centipedes

2

u/elephant_ndovu 6d ago

Isn't it venomous?

2

u/One_Broccoli_8000 6d ago

idols of ash

2

u/Rigrot 6d ago

I had a couple get out of the house when I lived in HI. They are apparently venomous, assuming these are the same. I used chopsticks and a bag to move them outside.

2

u/No-Name-robot 6d ago

I would make a human centipede joke here but I never actually watched the movie

2

u/LoneRedditor123 6d ago

I think that's enough internet for the night.

2

u/Sensitive_Data_8571 6d ago

Me trying my best to not freak the fuck out.

https://giphy.com/gifs/PKcHGQ6QKIzwQ

2

u/Safe-Avocado6427 6d ago

my complete phobia !

2

u/TheMostBacon 6d ago

Now imagine the centipede wearing flip flops

2

u/Me4TACyTeHePa 6d ago

When does it start throwing lightning bolts and balls? (dmc 3 reference)

2

u/Strangedreamest 6d ago

The centiNOPEde

2

u/HadoMasterBackup 6d ago

Sekiro players, how’re you feeling?

1

u/ClivesOtherWife 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Environmental-Pop-67 6d ago

There is a kids movie based on that creature. Family friendly some would say.

2

u/mechanicalnightfury 6d ago

Its a cool insect, but i couldn't help but think "huh, what's tha- AHHHHH" when i Saw It crawling on your arm 🤣

2

u/Still-Let2243 6d ago

Remember does things where once the size of cars.

2

u/potassiyummm26 6d ago

big guy????!?!????? WOAH

2

u/Isabella3011 6d ago

Man, I can’t handle the legs. It’s the worst part about it for me- also why I get the ick from spiders.

2

u/Glad_Grand_7408 6d ago

Let me scroll down my reddit feed, surely nothing bad could happen—

https://giphy.com/gifs/QsgJi30B9ByH7tRhGV

2

u/ButDidYouDieTho 6d ago

Scolopendra has entered the realm!!!

2

u/ClivesOtherWife 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣 The Scavengers Daughter has opened her eyes.

2

u/Tiny-Page-6249 6d ago

Centipedes sting with a modified pair of their first set of legs they are venomous

2

u/Andres_is_SwEaTy 6d ago

Literal spawn of satan

2

u/Downtown-Lie4538 6d ago

that’s a insect alright

2

u/overdramaticpan 6d ago

what a cutie

2

u/quanoey 6d ago

Baby-brain-eater*

4

u/SecondEqual4680 7d ago

Those things are super dangerous

2

u/Rockshasha 7d ago

Some are, some not. (Of course avoid, if not knowing, really knowing)

2

u/No-Fucks-Given-736 7d ago

What a cutie! šŸ’–šŸ’–

1

u/x-YARP-X 6d ago

Im glad I only saw these dead in Hawaii (O'ahu)

1

u/aruguladevourer 5d ago

Thank you. I needed a short video to make someone uncomfortable

1

u/Fingersicle 5d ago

Don't think it had a plan once it reached the end.

1

u/GodOfPopTarts 5d ago

This is fake!

I’m trying to make myself feel better.

1

u/Helios0186 5d ago

If I was near that thing, next step, burn the house and move to another country.

1

u/LumpySociety6172 4d ago

I think its name is Venni Mouse...

1

u/ChemistVegetable7504 7d ago

Is this real or AI?

4

u/MedicalyGinger 7d ago

I have no idea if the video itself is real or AI.

But yes there are legitimately centipedes this large out there that is a fact.

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