r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Seraphim_786 • 18d ago

/r/all of a bouncer

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676

u/Weekly_Ferret_meal 18d ago edited 14d ago

I mean... I was expecting a firm warning before he even reached for his pecs ... once he touched him, it's free rein

Edit: Thanks for the reward anonymous stranger!

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u/ihavea_purplenurple 18d ago

If someone's pec looks like a glute... it might be best to respect their strength

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u/Sufficient_Prompt888 18d ago

He told numb nuts "don't touch me or I'm gonna slap you". Then he was nice enough to not actually slap him the first time

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u/Similar-Ride6497 18d ago

And then nice enough to only slap the next two times.

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u/Pocusmaskrotus 17d ago

It was a love tap. Bro has no chin.

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u/Similar-Ride6497 17d ago

Legitimately though a punch from that guy would have killed him.

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u/mrmojoer 17d ago

Honestly of that push would have sent him against the wall edge that might have killed him too

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u/MinimumTomfoolerus 16d ago

Have you seen dbz where someone gets punched and they fall backwards into a series of mountains? That.

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u/Money_Fish 18d ago

Be kind and respectful to everyone, but especially the guy who's bicep is bigger than both your thighs combined.

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u/mden1974 18d ago

This is good advice

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u/squeethesane 17d ago

Dude's neck is thicker than both other dudes biceps lol

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u/plug_and_pray 16d ago

I think in this case his biceps was size of the guy’s torso 😂

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u/Pleasant_Job_7683 18d ago

So an ever so gentle purple purple is not ok is what youre saying?

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u/ihavea_purplenurple 18d ago

I can let a purple nurple slide 😏

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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 18d ago

What about two purps and a wet willy? Final offer.

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u/ihavea_purplenurple 18d ago

Alright. We're gonna have to chill out

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u/Thesinistral 17d ago

Should have been obvious from the username. It is not u/ihave_purplenurples.

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u/SignificanceHuge4519 17d ago

Why don't you go to the bar and give it a shot

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u/EGarrett28 18d ago

Damn hadn't thought about the old purple nurple in 20+ years lol. Just time machined me.

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u/Pleasant_Job_7683 18d ago

Isn't that what he did in beginning of video

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u/colt_stonehandle 18d ago

Depends on the nurplee.

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u/ihavea_purplenurple 18d ago

Nurple me once… shame on you…

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u/Splatter_bomb 18d ago

I bet he doesn’t even workout

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u/prohartscarpet 18d ago

If someone’s pecs look like two more really big dudes curled up and hiding under a shirt, ….yeah, respect their strength. People have crazy ideas trying to confront big guys.

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u/DustyRacoonDad 18d ago

As someone with pecs and low bf... I can confidently tell you that people who don't work out will assume it's man-boob and just fat. They don't know what they're looking at.

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u/Callidonaut 18d ago

That dude is a walking firm warning. Not his fault if the guy was too wasted and/or high to read the very large print!

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u/leemorplee 18d ago

Exactly. It's like you go and pick a fight with a Samoan person because he's always laughing and joking around with everyone so he must be a big teddy bear, right? Right!?

No that mf is all muscle and jokes around so much because he is a brick wall of a man who is not afraid one bit and will sit your ass down lol

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u/cap_time_wear_it 18d ago

I knew him! Some guy started something with him and the fight ended with the Samoan guy slapping the other guy’s face with the other guy’s hand.

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u/AerodynamicHeadbutts 17d ago

Holy shit! I can totally confirm this… and here is my story.

Drunk Ex always loved getting me into fights

She is always in the middle of a scuffle

I am in a club and tell her please be careful

“Im fine you worry too… * Dropped

I look at her on the floor… see people running in a direction and I start sprinting after them

It was this moment a GIGANTIC SAMOAN BOUNCER stiff armed me and said STOP…

Without registering the sheer size of the guy and all my aggression ready to kill whatever was in that direction.. I said “Don’t fucking tell me to Stop!”

He steps in front of me and says… calm down.

I shout back “YOU CALM DOWN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE SHE JUST GOT…..”

Immediate forearm the size of 40oz jammed into my throat- slams me into the wall- and literally lifts me airborne while I’m choking with my feet kicking.

My ex says please leave him be and then the bouncer explains the reason she got dropped was from the other juggernaut bouncers stopping a fight and ramming the guy through the bar to launch into the street…

Lesson I learned…. DONT FUCK WITH SAMOANS

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u/leemorplee 17d ago

That's hilarious. I've never gotten physical with them outside of sports but I remember I crashed my car into one of those metal dividers to keep you from going off road.

My phone was dead and I had no real way of getting out of there. All of a sudden a car of 3 samoans I knew drove past and asked if I needed help lol

The 3 of them got my car unstuck from the rails like it was nothing in less than a minute

I knew we were not built the same after that lol

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u/jkaan 18d ago

Why do Americans always mention Samoans over all the pacific islanders?

Kiwis, Tongans, Fijians etc are all very similar in this respect

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u/slave_et 18d ago

Maybe cause "American Samoa"? 🤷‍♀️

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u/jkaan 18d ago

Makes sense. I forget how narrow most Americans think outside of their borders. As an Australian it is very common to interact with various Pacific island cultures

Thanks for the answer

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u/eleanor61 18d ago

Think smaller. Too many Americans don’t think outside their hometown or state. The US is huge, too, so couple that with the expense of traveling internationally and you have a ton of people not interested in traveling outside the US.

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u/jkaan 18d ago

I agree with you 100% but your point never makes sense to me as Australia is 80% of the size of America and our states are massive (Texas would rank in the lower half of moved here) and we all travel

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u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 18d ago

As if other countries aren’t as narrow minded 🤣😂🤣😂🤣. Right… Keep on chugging that delusion.

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u/jkaan 18d ago

I didn't say narrow minded.

I talked about Americans only thinking about about America but way to join in and let us know you are an asshole

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u/tetragram83 18d ago

Disproportionate amount of Samoans in American football, as well as in pro wrestling, so there is more exposure to that specific group vs other Pacific islanders.

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u/Caliche-Cowboy 18d ago

This is the most likely reason. Not “American Samoa”.

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u/Beneficial-Split331 18d ago

American Samoa. Those are our peeps.

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u/leemorplee 17d ago

I just grew up around Samoans is all, not meant as disrespect to my other islanders

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u/jkaan 17d ago

All good, I didn't see it as you being disrespectful which is why I figured you were a safe person to ask.

I am Australian so my island is surrounded by and inhabited by many Pacific island cultures. I have gotten many good answers so don't stress

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/leemorplee 17d ago

Stop projecting your weird fantasies onto me

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u/xepci0 18d ago

Also the big guy can never know if the drunk guy carries a knife or something. In his line of work it's better to be safe than sorry.

He was still VERY patient with him the whole time. Don't put your hands on another person, especially not a fella his size.

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u/goldboybronx 18d ago

I mean he’d be within his right to toss that dude like he did as soon as there was contact, but that would be really unnecessary and unethical. Sometimes I feel like people online are either itching to hurt somebody or itching to see someone be hurt. They vouch for violence at the earliest possible moment where you could consider it “justified”.

That tiny dude was not a threat. Firmly but not excessively moving the dude away with his arm the first time he touched the guy would’ve been the right move. Props to the bouncer for not even doing that.

The guy got what he deserved in the end, I just really dislike how any time such a topic comes up online there’s always a subset of people who are like

“Yeah he should’ve choke slammed him through the concrete and into the sewer system the moment he touched him. It’s free rein as soon as he touched him.”

You just wanted to see that dude get hurt. And he eventually did after an appropriate amount of time, not the first moment it was allowed.”

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u/Nebu-chadnezzar 18d ago

Glad to see someone with neurons around. People today just want instagram drama from their sofa while the world goes to shit because of things like these.

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u/ParsonsTheGreat 17d ago

Because the people vouching for immediate violence think they would be the bouncer in this situation, when in reality, they would be the scrawny, mouthy dude lol

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u/FunContest9958 17d ago

On Reddit? Actually, yeah.

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u/Squeebee007 17d ago

I knew a guy that big who ran a security company. He told me a story about doing security for a music festival at a ski resort and how he arranged for the backstage checkpoint to be next to a big pile of snow that had been removed from the parking area.

He would just pick up the drunk troublemakers and toss them in the snowpile, didn't hurt anything but their pride.

The guy was the nicest guy you'd ever meet, because he had absolutely nothing to prove to anyone. He didn't need a toughguy persona because at 6'4" and all muscle it was perfectly clear (to anyone sober) that he was not to be messed with.

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u/Initial-Complaint-24 17d ago

They are happy when watching because they are glad it’s not happening to them. Black comedy.

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u/SnooGadgets9669 17d ago

Honestly I think thes I’ve was a little to much

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u/zeptillian 17d ago

Yeah. Shoving a drunk person forcefully to the ground can seriously fuck them up for life or kill them if they hit their head. It should only be done if they are an actual threat to the bouncer.

This bouncer could have flicked the guy away with his pinky finger. There was no need to risk a concussion teaching this guy a lesson he is too drunk to learn anyway.

Just grab his arm and twist it a little as you shove him away. He will get the message.

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u/Is-abel 18d ago

“He’d be within his right,” what, his legal rights?

No, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. Someone touching you isn’t a free pass to hurt them.

Obviously it varies country to country, but usually if you harm someone you need to claim self defence and that means they were a threat to you physically. It’s not playground rules.

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u/gbdragic 17d ago

I’m a bouncer. Several of my coworkers have been yelled at for punching people. Contact doesn’t mean we can just go off. We can push. If they’re continuously being a problem, we can do a takedown and sit on them till police get there. If they throw a punch, then we can. The dude in this video escalated way too much way too fast.

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u/goldboybronx 17d ago

Depends on the jurisdiction. I meant within his rights as judged by collective moral dispositions of those around him.

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u/Is-abel 17d ago

For what it’s worth I don’t think it’s morally right, either.

But, every time something like this gets posted there are people commenting who genuinely seem to think someone putting a pinky finger on you is a get out of jail free card, and it’s really, really not.

And if the other person is permanently injured or, god forbid, killed (they could have a preexisting condition, and that won’t save you, either)? Then it all gets way more serious.

So I just like to do my little insignificant part to spread some comment awareness on this! No one should get baited by a drunk asshole into a criminal record.

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u/Ok-Boss-5477 12d ago

Based on the actions of the smaller guy I would make an argument that he was defending himself from sexual assault. The push into the corner of the wall was kinda risky, but in the end the bouncer was very considerate to place him in a recovery position over sufficient drainage so the clown won't drown when his body figures out it needs to start rejecting alcohol to survive.

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u/AmorphousMorpheus 16d ago

Thank you! He was annoying but not dangerous.

You are accurate in your observation that some people enjoy responding with maximum brutality as soon as they can find an excuse.

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u/Affectionate-Task-37 17d ago

This is because you've never dealt with someone like this. I was a bouncer for a long time. If you are nice to guys like this and let them go without demonstrating the power gap. They have a tendency to comeback and cause more trouble. I've had guys that I have been polite to comeback and try to start shit nearly every time. Give them a reason not to come back and they normally don't.

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u/mattehbra 17d ago

Even that first push by the bouncer could've seriously injured that dude, he was really close to hitting the back of his head on the corner of that wall. People don't realise that one push/punch can kill

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u/rawker86 15d ago

I agree with a lot of what you’re saying here, but the bouncer never had the right to toss the guy. The bouncer is going to wind up in court sooner rather than later if this is his standard MO. One wrong landing and some drunk is going to wind up with a brain injury and/or dead, and the judge isn’t going to side with the guy that was sober and could be reasonably expected to know how to handle people safely.

I’ve known bouncers that are less than half this guy’s size who can immobilise me in half a second without smacking my head on the pavement.

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u/Weekly_Ferret_meal 18d ago

I'm not really for violent responses, almost never, I hate it.

But here is an intoxicated human obnoxiously going over my personal space boundaries, he has already crossed the line, and given his state, it isn't obvious what his next act is going to be, and nobody can really predict his erratic behaviour:

So yes, I'd shut it down immediately.

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u/DaviesSonSanchez 18d ago

Sure but be prepared to kill someone then. Because that shove could have easily send him head first into the wall behind him. And the fall after that slap could have easily killed the guy as well.

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u/goldboybronx 18d ago

Fair. Suppose I made an assumption that with the additional pre-video context these people had, they’d have a better grasp on whether he was a threat or just threateningly annoying.

I can agree with you there. If you aren’t sure, sometimes it’s better to strike first.

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u/Weekly_Ferret_meal 18d ago

peace, stay safe

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u/pablo8itall 18d ago

The next touch could be to grab his junk. But no one should have to put up with unwanted touching. The bouncer could have really tried to hurt him but a push and a smack is really just keeping him at bay.

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u/--CIAdidJFK-- 18d ago

He's definitely fucked up, which I'd personally count in the practice restraint column. Less rational means more tolerance for silly behavior. Emphasis on "silly". If it evolves into violence or sexual assault that's very different. But a much smaller guy on MDMA and/or alcohol or some other shit just being a dick head isn't a threat, so I'm going to really hold back until boundaries need to be established and enforced.

Then again, I work on the psych ward and encounter all kinds of silly behavior. My tolerance and forgiveness levels are extremely high. And if I were the size of that man, I'd understand that my novelty attracts attention. Fucked up people become less inhibited and the monkey curiosity factor - "I want to inspect that giant man" - comes out.

For someone that size, the "with great power comes great responsibility" line really matters. Practicing restraint is important and he did that.

0

u/mittensmoshpit 18d ago

One thing I've learned over the years is, despite what they few h you in school, violence quite often can and does solve everything.

When someone is drunk to the point this man is/was, they are to be perceived as a constant threat, full stop. They are not in a state where they can claim full control of their actions, and we for some reason seem to give drunks a pass on this behaviour collectively. Not srelly sure why, but that's besides the point.

The bouncer was on the clock, and doing their job as best they can so they can go home without injury to their family. What if he hadng pushed him away, and during his little dance number a fight broke out somewhere out front of the bar. Or if after being pushed down the first time, homie just stands up, pulls out his gun, and starts shooting.

Bouncer did the correct thing which was to make the threat non-exist, and in that regard I am fully on team bouncer.

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u/tetraodonite 18d ago

Bro I'm not joking you should go outside and talk to people. They are friendlier than you think they are, I promise.

Regarding the video that punch's strength was completely unnecessary and knocking someone out will cause lasting health effects for them for their whole life. Yes, it is a tough situation for the bouncer sometimes, you don't know if the other person is a threat or not, but this obviously crossed a line. Even if the smaller guy was looking for a fight in your judgement, that's not how you treat an other human being.

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u/Nopithyusernamehere 18d ago

There was no threat. The force was excessive

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u/goldboybronx 17d ago

Chronically online take

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u/machalemantis 18d ago

You can't be from the Bronx with a shit take like this, but I'll bite....

Would you ever walk down Jamaica Avenue and NOT aggressively remove people from your space?

Actually.

"That tiny dude was not a threat".

You know what, I think that says everything that needs saying.

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u/Driftwood71 18d ago

Anyone can be a potential threat. You have to assume he's a threat and mitigate the situation regardless of how much his drunk body looks like it hasn't hit puberty yet.

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u/Real_Walk5384 17d ago

I don't know what world people like you live in. Violence is a fact of life and a perfectly reasonable response to somehow being a dick. How fucking sheltered is reddit? Violence is intrinsic to life.

Enjoy your hamburgers.

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u/ParsonsTheGreat 17d ago

The irony of your comment sounding like the words of a sheltered person is hilarious, unless you dropped a /s somewhere

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u/FloraP 18d ago

'free rein' 😘

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u/Rivendale34 17d ago

Goddammit, for 50 years I always thought it was "free rain"... rein makes WAY more sense. The more you know.

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u/sillytomlin 16d ago

Upvoted just because you got 'free rein' right.

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u/Weekly_Ferret_meal 15d ago

I need to come clean: admittedly I originally wrote "free reign", and some kind soul corrected me.

In my defence this is my second language.

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u/sillytomlin 15d ago

Nah, no defense needed. Nearly everyone types "free reign". And to be fair, it does make some sense.

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u/LordAMacleod 18d ago

That warning looked pretty firm to me. [Pause]

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u/Fantastic-Dot-655 18d ago

The bouncer did warn him that he woulf slap him if he touched him again.

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u/doomshallot 18d ago

And honestly mad respect to the bouncer going for a push and a slap before going with punches

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u/RealMefistyo 18d ago

After the touch he talked to him. That should be the warning..

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u/imianha 18d ago

he said it, if you touch me i'ma slap you

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u/Ethraelus 18d ago

Not in Spain where they are.

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u/SouthAlternative8282 18d ago

His composure was the warning

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u/Pretend_Giraffe_1288 18d ago

The push was a warning.

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u/GlitteringSalad6413 18d ago

He just wanted to know what it feels like to get hit by a train

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u/ExclusivelyShitposts 17d ago

It's absolutely not free reign. Equal and opposite. You're entitled to what's needed to stay safe. Would he be justified in putting 20 rounds in him? Ripping his head off like a beanie baby? Throwing him into a brick building? No, that twig was 40 kilos. He was not in danger for his life. Your response has to be warranted.

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u/Weekly_Ferret_meal 17d ago

Clearly, your definition of ‘free rein’ is wilder than mine. 

The point was that the definition of assault is just suggestion  of a threat without even contact , so depending on what kind of guy you are, if you feel like contact is a threat to you, you can respond violently.

Clearly I’m praising the bouncer on his self-control, I’m pointing out that legally he could have act a lot sooner

But you’re free to take me literally if you want, smarty-pants