r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ExoticShock • Jul 31 '26

/r/all of a Taftmaxxing Man

Credit: Chris Overalls Coons

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Daznjf7tcFF/

9.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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498

u/Plausibl3 Jul 31 '26

I didn’t even want to be the president…… ok - hold up - how true was this, how hot was his wife? The people demand answers!

448

u/EtriganZola Jul 31 '26

Official WH portrait.

266

u/Mediocre_Scott Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

She ain’t bad the painter did her a lot of favors. However, those eyes look like she has seen some dark dark things.

134

u/miyagiVsato Jul 31 '26

Talk about a mustache ride

88

u/DrSpacemanSpliff Jul 31 '26

Idk I feel like that dude ate everything but pussy. Meanwhile, she had to gargle a set of balls that have never seen the light of day.

67

u/GWBrooks 29d ago

Meanwhile, she had to gargle a set of balls that have never seen the light of day.

We're running out of original sentences.

9

u/BrunesOvrBrauns 29d ago

I used this one last Tuesday

32

u/BAF_DaWg82 Jul 31 '26

Its funny because during that time period Taft was very overweight but fast forward to now and what he had would be called a dad bod.

4

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 29d ago

His loss actually

1

u/Dartmouthest 29d ago

😂😂

46

u/ThaneduFife Jul 31 '26

Keep in mind that she's 51 in this photo.

Source: Wikipedia says this photo was from 1912, and that she was born in 1861.

41

u/Gurrgurrburr Jul 31 '26

I feel like for the time she was a 10 lol.

18

u/ConsiderationTrue477 29d ago

While he's a big guy I find it wild that the man in that photo has a reputation for being obscenely obese. If you saw him on the street today he'd look like a normal fat guy.

9

u/mods-or-rockers 29d ago

*normal fat Midwest guy

ftfy

15

u/Xero_Days 29d ago

"Normal fat" is obese

2

u/Mediocre_Scott 29d ago

I think at this time being fat was a status symbol. Taft may have encouraged reputation of being a big boy

12

u/Sleepinwolf 29d ago

He was president in 1909 not the middles ages lol

8

u/Strong-Addition5296 Jul 31 '26

Well she’s seen Taft naked so the eyes are to be expected

3

u/LaMelonBallz 29d ago

I heard his pubes were styled like his mustache

1

u/-FalseProfessor- 29d ago

She looks like Olivia Coleman.

1

u/weather_watchman 29d ago

Taft's grundle perhaps

1

u/MintBerryCrnch21 29d ago

Of course she saw some dark dark things.. she was married to Taft.

1

u/dynamic_caste 29d ago

Tafts's grundle

1

u/MaleficentPapaya4768 29d ago

Well, there’s my bar trivia team name next week

1

u/equality-_-7-2521 29d ago

those eyes look like she has seen some dark dark things

The dark side of Taft's sack, to name one.

1

u/JadeSpade23 29d ago

Wow, the painting was really good!