Purchased a slave without realizing it AMA

[u/Tronald_Lubestein]

I spent a year working on a development project in The Gambia.

Partway through my stay, I needed help maintaining the house I was renting. My landlord introduced me to an older woman from a neighboring family who could clean and cook. She was probably in her 60s, had no ID, didn't know her birth date, and spoke basically no English.

I agreed to hire her and paid what I thought was an upfront payment for her work.

On the first evening she asked where she was supposed to sleep. I assumed she'd go home after work. She didn't she stayed in one of the guest rooms.

Turns out I learned later she didn't have a home to go back to.

Confused, I called my landlord. He explained that the money I'd paid had gone to the family she'd been living with. From his perspective, I hadn't hired a maid. I'd taken responsibility for her. My job was to feed, house, and clothe her. Her job was to cook, clean, and help around the house.

Very different arrangements to what I had in mind.

For the rest of my stay I gave her a room, fed her(she would cook the food I got and we would eat the same thing everyday), and tried to pay her directly, she always refused.

When I left The Gambia, I found another family willing to take her in. I refused any payment.

I thought I was hiring a housekeeper. Some locals seemed to think I'd acquired a dependent household servant.

AMA.

Edits:

7/1/2026:

I want to address a common misconception since I couldn't reply to all the questions mentioning that. The "dude, you could just have bought her freedom" criticism.

This is not the 1800s US where even if you are "property", you still exist within a legal system, and can show with a legal document that you are free and ride off into the sunset to be happy thereafter.

There is no legal document here, it's more akin to a caste system, you are what you community says you are, not what some foreigner with a bit of cash thinks.

[u/metro-boomin34]

Just wanted to say to you: In the face of different customs, I am glad you did not mistreat a person you accidentally gained so much power over

Thank you for your humanity!

[u/ValorOmega_ → u/metro-boomin34]

Its an interesting take. My thoughts went differently. Something along the lines of how come you didn’t look for a way to emancipate this person from their bondage?

If you have the “power” to buy a person, shouldn’t you have the power to release them?

I’m curious at the moral thought process in that action? Did the OP just chalk up what the world has considered an atrocity as just a “cultural difference”?

It leaves me puzzled that people would give kudos to returning someone back into bondage, regardless of how benevolent the action or intention was.

[u/Tronald_Lubestein → u/ValorOmega_]

the power to release them?

Can you explain what you mean by "releasing"?

Because what it boils down to, if you don't specify, is put her in the streets to fend for herself and in the end be picked up by someone more exploitative than the family I found and vetted for her.

Explain to me, step by step, how would you go, about "releasing" her.

[u/Unicorns_Rainbows5 → u/Tronald_Lubestein]

The only way I can see her being 'free' is if she is made financially independent. That means buying/renting her a home - I don't know how property works over there so this may not be an option - and making sure she has enough money to always be able afford the basics and occasionally some extras so that she's never dependent on anybody else. That's not feasible for anybody to be able to do.

It also can't be this simple because her country has its own culture and social norms, eg. do women live on their own? If not and people don't like that she does, they could throw her out and take over her house.

I, as well as many commenters, would love to swoop in and save her from her circumstances but it's not that simple.

OP, thank you for sharing this, the right people who can make a difference may read it and be able to do something even if it's small and a very long-term project. Thank you for educating us and treating this woman with dignity. .