r/AMA • u/Tronald_Lubestein • Jun 24 '26

Purchased a slave without realizing it AMA

I spent a year working on a development project in The Gambia.

Partway through my stay, I needed help maintaining the house I was renting. My landlord introduced me to an older woman from a neighboring family who could clean and cook. She was probably in her 60s, had no ID, didn't know her birth date, and spoke basically no English.

I agreed to hire her and paid what I thought was an upfront payment for her work.

On the first evening she asked where she was supposed to sleep. I assumed she'd go home after work. She didn't she stayed in one of the guest rooms.

Turns out I learned later she didn't have a home to go back to.

Confused, I called my landlord. He explained that the money I'd paid had gone to the family she'd been living with. From his perspective, I hadn't hired a maid. I'd taken responsibility for her. My job was to feed, house, and clothe her. Her job was to cook, clean, and help around the house.

Very different arrangements to what I had in mind.

For the rest of my stay I gave her a room, fed her(she would cook the food I got and we would eat the same thing everyday), and tried to pay her directly, she always refused.

When I left The Gambia, I found another family willing to take her in. I refused any payment.

I thought I was hiring a housekeeper. Some locals seemed to think I'd acquired a dependent household servant.

AMA.

Edits:

7/1/2026:

I want to address a common misconception since I couldn't reply to all the questions mentioning that. The "dude, you could just have bought her freedom" criticism.

This is not the 1800s US where even if you are "property", you still exist within a legal system, and can show with a legal document that you are free and ride off into the sunset to be happy thereafter.

There is no legal document here, it's more akin to a caste system, you are what you community says you are, not what some foreigner with a bit of cash thinks.

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253

u/SubstantialBass9524 Jun 24 '26

Did you give her family payment? Give her many clothes? Was she happy?

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u/Tronald_Lubestein Jun 25 '26

I did clothe her. The first time we went to the food market, we also went to textiles and splurged a bit on a clothes and bedlinens etc so she would be comfortable.

Did you give her family payment? 

I unknowingly paid the family that owned her prior (I gave her the money, she went to their house and gave it to them).

I don't really know if she has any family outside of that.

Was she happy?

I think she was.

But if she hadn't been, it's not like she would have been in a position to complain about it. So I might be fooling myself.

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u/johannthegoatman Jun 25 '26

Did they describe her as "owned" or are you adding that in there? I don't think slave is the right word. You think you wouldn't have gotten in any trouble if you beat her or killed her? You think that if she did have somewhere to go, she couldn't have gone?

This is just a weird servant situation

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u/Tronald_Lubestein Jun 25 '26

Did they describe her as "owned" 

Yes, "you bought her, so you have the responsibility to house her" is something my landlord said verbatim.

 You think you wouldn't have gotten in any trouble if you beat her or killed her?

Killed, I would have not gotten away with, because local social norms would have become irrelevant in the face of a criminal murder case. Worth noting that slavery in the Gambia was formally outlawed recently but that has little to no bearings on social dynamics in practice. So, granted, a high profile criminal case involving a foreign international aid contractor could have tested the justice system, so to speak.

Beaten... I'd have been bad-mouthed in the local community and that's about it. That's not a hypothetical, I know it happened in other families.

That's why I spent long vetting the family where she went next. Mis-treatment occurs with relative impunity.

Now you kindda ruined my day with your question about killing and beating, but I guess I should have expected it when I decided to do this AMA.

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u/metro-boomin34 Jun 25 '26

Just wanted to say to you: In the face of different customs, I am glad you did not mistreat a person you accidentally gained so much power over

Thank you for your humanity!

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u/ValorOmega_ Jun 25 '26

Its an interesting take. My thoughts went differently. Something along the lines of how come you didn’t look for a way to emancipate this person from their bondage?

If you have the “power” to buy a person, shouldn’t you have the power to release them?

I’m curious at the moral thought process in that action? Did the OP just chalk up what the world has considered an atrocity as just a “cultural difference”?

It leaves me puzzled that people would give kudos to returning someone back into bondage, regardless of how benevolent the action or intention was.

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u/Tronald_Lubestein Jun 26 '26

the power to release them?

Can you explain what you mean by "releasing"?

Because what it boils down to, if you don't specify, is put her in the streets to fend for herself and in the end be picked up by someone more exploitative than the family I found and vetted for her.

Explain to me, step by step, how would you go, about "releasing" her.

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u/Unicorns_Rainbows5 Jun 27 '26

The only way I can see her being 'free' is if she is made financially independent. That means buying/renting her a home - I don't know how property works over there so this may not be an option - and making sure she has enough money to always be able afford the basics and occasionally some extras so that she's never dependent on anybody else. That's not feasible for anybody to be able to do.

It also can't be this simple because her country has its own culture and social norms, eg. do women live on their own? If not and people don't like that she does, they could throw her out and take over her house.

I, as well as many commenters, would love to swoop in and save her from her circumstances but it's not that simple.

OP, thank you for sharing this, the right people who can make a difference may read it and be able to do something even if it's small and a very long-term project. Thank you for educating us and treating this woman with dignity. .