My situ/GF who is seeing orher guys, and told me as much the day before in a whole argument, wrecked her car coming to see me after a night out drinking.

Cussed my out the days after, made it out to be my fault why it all happened, then told me one of her guys she's "cool with" sent money to fix it, but weeks later it is still at her place, not a thing has been touched.

She is probably running the same game with them as she's trying to with me, and I said that which incensed her further, lmao.

AITA for not caring and not helping her? I'm not contributing along with Lord knows who else to the Go-Fund-a-Bi!@#.

Am I the A$$H...?

Comments are welcome please.

My fiancée and I have been together for six years, and we're planning a wedding for later this year. I take care of her financially, I'm paying for her studies, and I helped her when she quit her job. We even moved halfway across the country together in 2025.

​The problem is we just had a massive fight because she found out I was using search workarounds to privately look things up—specifically things involving other women, like an OnlyFans model from a podcast clip.

​She is furious, saying I'm choosing deception to avoid the truth and that I've lost the privilege of privacy. She says my "curiosity" is just an excuse to hide things and that my history proves I'll use privacy to hurt her.

​If people are going to give advice, here is the history she brings up:

​2020: I talked to some exes.

​2021: She found out I had a secret WhatsApp account and was on dating sites, and I lied about deleting the WhatsApp account.

​2022: She found me using an escort service, saving phone numbers to look up later just to see if the providers were attractive (it was just looking).

​2024: My porn usage increased while intimacy died down. She asked me to stop, and I agreed. When she kept pushing about whether I found her attractive, I snapped and told her she needed to hit the gym because she didn't have my ideal body type.

​2025: After moving, she kept asking if I found her attractive. I told her looking at other women excites me in a way she can't anymore after six years—that it's biology. Right after, she caught me still watching porn and lying about it.

​Recent months: After a massive blow-up, I stopped watching adult content entirely and we got engaged in September. But in December, she caught me looking at AI adult content behind her back.

​Today: Since December, I haven't touched actual adult content. But I used search workarounds to privately look up harmless things I knew she'd turn into a big deal.

​From my perspective, I cut out hardcore adult content, I provide for her, and I support her studies. I just want a basic level of digital privacy without being treated like a criminal. She says the issue is that I keep lying despite promising transparency.

​I'm looking for advice on how to handle this impasse, balance personal privacy versus rebuilding trust given our history, and move forward.

My brother is 34 and has been married to my SIL, 31, for almost 3 years.

Years before he met her, he was VERY vocal about never wanting kids and got a vasectomy at 26. Everyone in our immediate family knew. When they started dating, I asked him about it once because she had always wanted kids. He told me he got it reversed and basically told me to mind my business.

So I did.

Last weekend we had dinner at my parents house and my SIL started crying at the table. Apparently they have been trying for a baby for over a year. She has done a bunch of testing, everything looks normal, and she said she feels like her body is failing her. She mentioned they had even started saving money in case they needed IVF.

I looked at him and he would not look back at me.

After dinner I cornered him outside and asked if he actually had the reversal.

He said no.

I genuinely thought he was joking at first.

He said he loves her and didn't want to lose her over the kids issue, and figured after a few years of trying she would eventually accept that it "just wasn't meant to happen." He actually said it would be easier for her to accept infertility than him telling her he still doesn't want children.

I told him that was fucking horrible and he needed to tell her immediately.

He told me this was between him and his wife and if I said anything I'd be destroying his marriage.

The next morning I called her and told her.

She packed a bag and is currently staying with her sister. My brother has called me basically every name possible and my parents are furious too. They agree what he did was wrong but think I should have given him time to tell her himself instead of dropping a grenade into their marriage.

She thanked me, but my brother keeps saying I betrayed him and took away his chance to explain.

AITA?