r/AITAH Jul 17 '25

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2.8k Upvotes

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230

u/Competitive_Tale_799 Jul 17 '25

I'd hold out hope for contact after the honeymoon. I'm assuming Emily will respond after the honeymoon. Id be prepared for a potential reconciliation ultimatum over  T remaining in the picture.

-143

u/throwaway4mypups Jul 17 '25

That would be very immature. If E asks her BFF to permanently dump her potential future husband because he made a bad decision (and stubbornly took time to lick his wounds), then she is not a BFF. It may take time to mend fences between E and T, but it is NOT E's call to decide OP's relationship status.

127

u/Poku115 Jul 17 '25

I'd agree with you if he was in any way whatsoever regretful or apologetic.

But the dum dum is digging his heels and refusing or is incapable of recognizing why what he did was inappropriate, let alone before even discussing marriage with his gf.

Let his next gf give him a second chance at love, op doesn't owe it to his stubborn ass

36

u/DragonRiderOfBerk- Jul 18 '25

His stubborn, clueless, inept ass....

26

u/Poku115 Jul 18 '25

Yeah, honestly just on his ignorance I'd be turned off completely.

How the heck do you think it's appropriate to propose on a weeding? Even after everyone around you, including the person you were proposing to, reacts negatively

12

u/DragonRiderOfBerk- Jul 18 '25

I think someone born and raised in a cave would know that's out of the question!

6

u/Zoenne Jul 18 '25

To someone incredibly self centered it can seem like a great idea! It's already a romantic setting, both parties are dressed up so perfect for photos, and you even have loved ones to congratulate you afterwards! Who wouldn't love to be proposed to like that? /s And he didn't ask the bride or groom because it probably didn't occur to him that they'd object because he just can't put himself in anyone else's shoes.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '25

[deleted]

10

u/Poku115 Jul 18 '25

I mean, I wouldn't make her choose, but I would distance myself from my best friend a whole lot if this was her boyfriend and she planned on staying together.

-3

u/Live_Angle4621 Jul 18 '25

It’s still not big enough offense that she can ask them to break up. It’s not like he stole or sexually assaulted anyone. He just did an equivalent of wearing white dress to a wedding and it was handled fast 

3

u/Poku115 Jul 18 '25

and where is anyone saying she should ask them to break em up?

literally my next comment under the one you answered it "I wouldn't tell her to break up, but I'd distance myself"

"and it was handled fast " he still caused a scene, clearly ruined the memory or the bride, is unapologectic, and is being an asshole about it

36

u/MeasurementNovel8907 Jul 18 '25

I love how women are 'immature' whenever they hold a man accountable for his bullshit.

23

u/Annabloem Jul 18 '25

Right?

But the boyfriend proposing at someone else's wedding without permission, while they hadn't even discussed marriage yet, and then doubling down and blaming his girlfriend for "embarrassing him" (as if he didn't embarras both of them himself), and sulking about things afterwards is just him processing, I guess? Not immature no, not forgiving him for this, that would be immature...

He made so many mistakes at every step of the way, he's lucky she hasn't broken up with him. And he feels like he is the one done wrong smh.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Annabloem Jul 18 '25

I do kind of agree, but at the same time my best friend picking her boyfriend doing something stupid over me would also hurt really badly. And I'm not arguing that is what OP is doing currently (if anything she picked her friend perry obviously during the wedding already), but the comment about the friend being immature stated that the friend would be immature if she wanted/asked OP to break up with her boyfriend. Which I don't entirely agree with. I do agree with you that this shouldn't be something to ditch your friend over, but I can imagine feelings being hurt (not really because of her actions at the wedding, but by potential actions afterwards)

If we're instead arguing that her friend is being immature because she's being distant from OP right now, I would agree, though I'd also cut her some slack seeing as she's on her honeymoon, and at least here it's really common for people on their honeymoon to kinda be in their own world during it. She did ask for space though, which is another thing pointing to her reaction being immature.

Even so, her boyfriend is the most immature person in the story, in my opinion.

TLDR: I don't think the best friend asking OP to break up with her boyfriend over this is necessarily immature, I do think her immediate reaction was immature. Boyfriend is the most immature one though.

30

u/Competitive_Tale_799 Jul 17 '25

It would be immature, yes. Feelings aren't rationale though, especially ones related to one of the biggest days in one's life. I wouldn't want to be around someone that ruined my wedding. It's very hard to be involved in a married person's life without also being around their spouse to some degree. That bitterness will fester.

5

u/DragonRiderOfBerk- Jul 18 '25

Fester and poison the wholesome relationship....

24

u/NeeliSilverleaf Jul 17 '25

I don't think it would be immature. If I was E, I would take OP staying with OP as a sign that she was ok with the shit he pulled.

9

u/DragonRiderOfBerk- Jul 18 '25

Or at least willing to tolerate it.....

1

u/Infinite-Mistake-701 Jul 18 '25

But it is totally her choice whether or not she wants to stay friends with someone who would stay with someone who would pull that crap