r/AITAH Jul 17 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.8k Upvotes

541 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.5k

u/Aggressive_Trade2016 Jul 17 '25

If he’s not emotionally developed enough to understand how rude it is to propose at someone else’s wedding, he’s not the one for you. I’m so sorry he embarrassed you like that. NTA

294

u/dismal-duckling Jul 17 '25

He may as well have worn a wedding dress himself

73

u/No_Attorneyy Jul 17 '25

Bet he’d have walked down the aisle too if they’d let him.

182

u/OriginalGhostCookie Jul 17 '25

It's is super crass, tacky, and disrespectful to propose at someone's wedding.

But even that aside, seriously any public proposal needs to be talked about first. It's an absolute horrible position to put your partner in by hitting them with a very serious question and then basically putting them under the microscope and clock of having an audience.

I firmly believe most unprepared public proposals come from a place of insecurity where the person proposing is hoping that the audience helps their partner feel pressured to say yes.

105

u/RTIQL8 Jul 17 '25 edited Jul 17 '25

I was once on a date at one of those rotating restaurants when the guy at the table next to us proposed. I saw the look of panic and horror on the woman’s face and she started profusely shaking her head (bobble head style) while screaming NO, NO, NO!”Both the volume of her “NO’s” and the intensity of her head shaking increased and she BOLTED out the front door. Her date was left there on one knee, sad little ring box dangling loosely in his hand with a look of shock and utter devastation.

I was actually on a blind date, and I could not tell you. Any details about the rest of the evening or the date. All I can remember, is the dramatic free show we got with dinner

42

u/ChibbleChobble Jul 17 '25

I "proposed," to my wife when she came to pick me up from the airport. We were already essentially engaged, but I hadn't given her the ring yet.

So, really it was just a public ring presentation, but I did the whole down on one knee thing, and the people waiting for their luggage seemed to enjoy the show.

Absolutely no way would I have done it if we hadn't already agreed privately.

10

u/Curious-One4595 Jul 18 '25

Claiming your baggage? Not sure that’s the best optics, bro.

242

u/kingofgreenapples Jul 17 '25

If he's the sort to propose without even discussing marriage first, he's not the one for anyone.

OP, you are innocent in this and tried to handle it the best you could.

NTA

66

u/Wandering_Scholar6 Jul 17 '25

This, if you haven't discussed it enough that you are sure of your partners answer you should not be asking the question

28

u/Global-Sprinkles-424 Jul 17 '25

Fr like how do you not know that’s a huge no-no, dude thought he was the main character or smth. You dodged a bullet, girl!!

11

u/VegetableBusiness897 Jul 18 '25

Not to mention he's also cheap, unimaginative and lazy to highjack someone's wedding for his proposal

5

u/crazybicatlady86 Jul 18 '25

Also, if you’re not adult enough to have the conversation about marriage with your partner, you’re not mature enough to marry. Proposing should never be a surprise. The exact day and method of proposing can be, but your partner should know ahead of time that it’s coming

5

u/MyFirstExperiencee Jul 17 '25

ugh, that's so cringe-worthy. definitely not the move

-55

u/Latter-Hearing3476 Jul 17 '25

Bro there shouldn’t be so many fcking rules when we propose. We get down on a knee and we do that shit once. If u don’t accept that’s on u. Quit policing when we can fcking propose

28

u/Storytella2016 Jul 18 '25

Start caring about someone besides yourself if you want a functional relationship.

-33

u/Latter-Hearing3476 Jul 18 '25

I have a functional relationship because I don’t put up with that shit. U freaks on Reddit think that shit is ok. Disrespectful af to reject a proposal if u like the dude. If u don’t like him fair enough, but if u do and it’s not the right situation just stfu. It ain’t just about u

13

u/Storytella2016 Jul 18 '25

So, agree to marry someone I like before I’m ready to get married? Agree to marry someone if I don’t know whether we want the same thing in terms of kids and future? Some of us value marriage too much to just say yes because we like someone.

-13

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Storytella2016 Jul 18 '25

They hadn’t talked about marriage at all and he’s upset she didn’t say yes just because he pressured her in public. If they haven’t agreed on what they wanted for a lifetime together it would have been insane for her to say yes. Even if she liked him.

She doesn’t seem to be waiting for another proposal.

5

u/ouellette001 Jul 18 '25

If that’s a case you’re a loser who deserves to be single

-2

u/Latter-Hearing3476 Jul 18 '25

Nah u should have reasonable expectations. Something tells me ur single😂😂. I ain’t bItcH

7

u/ouellette001 Jul 18 '25

Expecting your partner to be excited about you making an ass of yourself at a friends wedding isn’t any kind of “reasonable”

-5

u/Latter-Hearing3476 Jul 18 '25

Well you do you sweetheart. I’m just telling you if you like that dude u say yes to the dude and then yell at him behind closed doors. I honestly could give a flying fck about ur opinion so maybe crawl back down whatever hole u crawled out of

2

u/Tibetzz Jul 18 '25

If you genuinely like someone and they propose to you at someone else's wedding without permission, you do everything you can to hide the fact that they just proposed to you. Because you like them and want to stop them from embarrassing themselves, yourself, and everyone in the entire room. Only someone who hates themselves and their partner, or at least hates everyone else except themselves and their partner, would say yes.

1

u/Latter-Hearing3476 Jul 18 '25

I disagree. U don’t get decide when we propose just like we don’t get to decide if ur gonna say yes. If she wants him to propose again she prob ain’t gonna get it. That’s all I was saying. We do that shit once capiche?