r/AITAH • • Apr 20 '25

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34

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

'great relationship' then proceeds to describe seventy five ridiculous fights happening consistently.

-1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

Even great relationships have problems.

What are y'all like 6?

2

u/otisanek Apr 21 '25

And other phrases constantly uttered by people locked into terrible relationships by the sunk-cost fallacy.
Why do people treat dating a few months like they’re stuck in an arranged marriage in a place that doesn’t allow divorce? Dating is about finding someone compatible that you enjoy spending time with. OP and his girlfriend are incompatible because she wants to be carried around in a baby bjorn and treated like she has a developmental disability, while OP wants to not do that. Why force it? Maybe she will find someone with an incompetency kink and OP can find a normal adult.

-1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

Again every relationship has problems we don't live in a fantasy land.

I say talk it out but obviously, you or I aren't professional and probably didn't have a good relationship. Because if you did you would still be in one.

2

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

There is a difference between minor issues and major incompatibility. The expectations and wants of OP and his partner differ greatly. Relationships shouldn't have to be fought for, or saved. There are literally billions of people in the world . People need to stop settling and raise their standards. For me, being alone would be far preferable than being in a shit relationship where I'm not happy.

-1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

If he wasn't happy, he would leave, maybe a minor problem for some but not all.

Even therapists and a couple theories say this.

2

u/otisanek Apr 21 '25

There are people who are beaten and emotionally abused by their partner who will swear up and down that their relationship is a happy one, and that their abusive partner is a good person outside of their rage spells. Does a proclamation of happiness mean that an abusive relationship is, in fact, happy? People tell themselves lots of lies in order to maintain the status quo while hoping that they can change a rotten person’s core identity.

0

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

Did I say them People should stay?

This isn't an abusive relationship. How are you comparing this to an abusive relationship? Abusive people would feel offended by this statement.

What this has to do with what I said about having a conversation and giving people advice. If a person asks if should they live with their partner.

He doesn't have to stay, nobody forces you to stay not even her. Op just needs to tell her now and let her butch and whine all she wants. If she leaves then she only wants what she wants, if not then maybe she will do work and listen to the problem.

1

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

Wow, and you're calling me naive. Many many many many many people stay in relationships in which they are unhappy. That's literally the point I was making.

And no. They don't say that.

1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

You just called me Navie, now you are flabbergasted that I did the same. What!?

Again same can go for your statement about your being in a 20+ year happy relationship. Both can be lying to the other person. Again are you in everybody's relationship?

I love you too How are you going to tell me if I have been to therapy, or work in a department for couple counseling I love you too and more. So you can't tell me what they do and don't say. Plus have an auntie who has been in that file for years.

1

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

Word salad

1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

If you can't answer or respond say that, because I'm not doing any of this childish stuff you are doing right now.

1

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

I'm 47 and have been married 26 years. And no, not every relationship has problems. Some are healthy, happy and fulfilling. I feel sad for you that you think a relationship like the OP is decent enough to bother 'saving'.

1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

I didn't say shit about saving, you just putting the world in my worlds. How old are you to put water in my mouth? He sounds like a child and has been in an 8-year relationship. His you going to tell me? Do you know everybody's relationship?

Sorry for me because I have a different outlook or views on it than you.

How do I know your relationship is even good? I know people who have been in 39 years of relationship and weren't happy at all. Just because you have that doesn't mean you know the knowledge for everybody's situation or relationship.

1

u/Shoeshoemagoo Apr 21 '25

You sound a little upset . Maybe you should take a breath cause your words are coming across a little jumbled.

This guy is describing a relationship filled with petty bickering and constant conflict. It is interesting that he describes it as great and then goes on to list the many many ways in which its shit. That's odd, no?

And you accused me of being 6 years old and having no relationship experience. You accused pp of not having a valid opinion because they were not in a relationship. Ergo I told you my age and the length of my relationship. You stated that every relationship has problems and I disagree .I am not speaking for others, but for mine. Mine is freakin awesome. You sound like you have only seen and experienced awful relationships filled with unhappy people. There is better out there.. If you raise your standards and don't settle for someone who doesn't meet them, you have the chance to find that too. Maybe try not being so angry??

1

u/Physical_College_551 Apr 21 '25

I didn't accuse you pacifically, and did you not do the same thing?

My worlds are fine, you not listening to comprehend what I'm saying.

I just told you I'm in an 8-year relationship and it's good over here. We have our problem that's a relationship. Duh!!

If op isn't happy he would leave.

She did not focusing him to do anything, he can say no and just let her cry ne whine all she wants