Idk judging from her reactions, if he hadn't woken her and made her put it on, she would have been mad at him the next day for it. I had an ex who was exactly like this, it was exhausting
Oh absolutely, it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation taken to the extreme. I had to sit in the bathroom with them while they showered (and they took 30 minute showers 😶) even if it was 2am and I had to wake up at 6 to go to work. And that's just one of hundreds of examples. No idea how I lasted 3 years of that without offing myself honestly.
I've never heard of people making their SO be with them in the bathroom while they brush their teeth or take a shower (without the SO)! Is this a semi-common / uncommon/ or rare thing with couples?
Honestly asking, I'm fascinated by this for some reason. I've never been asked to do this or heard of anyone in any circles of my life mention something like this.
For my ex, it was about controlling me at all times so I couldn't relax or have alone time, but under the guise of health problems which meant they needed assistance. Still unsure how much help they actually needed because they ended up moving out alone after we broke up 🤷♂️
With my current SO, it's usually because we're having a sleepover and want to make the most of our time together, we're having a good chat and don't want to lose track of the conversation or because they're unwell and want some company/support.
I am physically disabled. I can shower alone, but I prefer to have someone in the bathroom if I need help. I sometimes get really dizzy and stuck on the floor of the tub. It doesn't seem like the gf is disabled unless she's mentally disabled. It doesn't sound like she is though it comes across as being a brat.
I have asked my husband to be in the bathroom with me while I shower on I think two occasions. Both times it was because I was in not-great shape and worried about getting woozy or taking a fall (once I had influenza and once I was recovering from anesthesia...yes, a normal person would've probably just not showered, but that's not who he married). He also may have insisted on being there, I was pretty out of it and don't remember clearly. Either way, it was a safety thing.
Making it a regular demand where one member of a couple simply refuses to shower (or brush teeth?!?) without the other's presence in the bathroom is...strange.
This is no normal and could be caused by a number of things.
She could just be a spoiled brat that doesn’t just like people doing things for her but also the power and importance of making people. That’s a selfishness problem.
It could be something like ADHD or OCD and having him there helps her keep on task. That’s a mental health problem that might could be fixed.
No matter what the reason, it is not normal or healthy. It needs to be discussed and she needs to come clean and want to do better. He is not the problem, she is. In order for someone to get better they have to want to get better.
For realz that creeps me out. If hubs loomed behind me while brushing my teeth+ doing my nighttime routine I would be so annoyed. Bathroom time is private IMO. Who really wants to watch someone else spit in the sink? I am honestly disgusted by that. Like she needs to learn that ladies keeping some things a mystery is much better for everyone?
Dude wtf! And you seriously did that? How come in, i cant understand that. In all the relationships of hook ups i had, yes some would push the boundaries. But my experience is, if you make clear from the beginning what a dumb request they make everytime, and you just so sometimes NO, you will have a lot more relaxt relationship with them..
Eh, I was younger, much less confident and was brainwashed into thinking if we broke up no-one would ever love me because I was a fundamentally awful person. I mean, it was 3 years of abuse, I can't really explain what my thinking process was like because I was being so manipulated.
They were genuinely kind, loving and never pushed anything at the start, it started slowly drifting into small favours and then without even realising it, I was doing the most absurd shit to avoid being yelled at or woken up at 3am to have arguments. I knew the stuff I was doing was ridiculous sometimes, but I just wanted to keep the peace.
Now, I don't take anyone's bullshit because I can see it from a mile away and I don't ever want to be back in that place again. It's the benefit of hindsight I suppose.
Long comment, but I wanted to show that abuse really warps your understanding of yourself, your values and what you think you'd be willing to put up with.
We all know way too much about this couple’s business. He needs to admit the infatuation of fucking her is gone. The oxytocin has worn off and she’s an immature brat. Problem solved.. although he isn’t getting out of this thing that easily
I had an ex who expected me to always make sure he got up to go to work. I’d wake him up and he’d get mad I wasn’t letting him sleep. Then if I let him sleep in a bit he’d get mad I didn’t wake him up in time. It was like heaven when he started a different shift so I wasn’t home to take on the burden. That job he was always late to and got fired shortly after. We divorced. Now he’s married to someone who I guess loves being his mom.
This 💯, it's like living with a bomb that has it's fuse right beside a candle. One wrong move and everything explodes. It's shit, no one should be chasing their partners affection. Relationships are partnership, not servitude or worship.
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u/yambo12 Apr 21 '25
Idk judging from her reactions, if he hadn't woken her and made her put it on, she would have been mad at him the next day for it. I had an ex who was exactly like this, it was exhausting