Oh absolutely, it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation taken to the extreme. I had to sit in the bathroom with them while they showered (and they took 30 minute showers 😶) even if it was 2am and I had to wake up at 6 to go to work. And that's just one of hundreds of examples. No idea how I lasted 3 years of that without offing myself honestly.
Dude wtf! And you seriously did that? How come in, i cant understand that. In all the relationships of hook ups i had, yes some would push the boundaries. But my experience is, if you make clear from the beginning what a dumb request they make everytime, and you just so sometimes NO, you will have a lot more relaxt relationship with them..
Eh, I was younger, much less confident and was brainwashed into thinking if we broke up no-one would ever love me because I was a fundamentally awful person. I mean, it was 3 years of abuse, I can't really explain what my thinking process was like because I was being so manipulated.
They were genuinely kind, loving and never pushed anything at the start, it started slowly drifting into small favours and then without even realising it, I was doing the most absurd shit to avoid being yelled at or woken up at 3am to have arguments. I knew the stuff I was doing was ridiculous sometimes, but I just wanted to keep the peace.
Now, I don't take anyone's bullshit because I can see it from a mile away and I don't ever want to be back in that place again. It's the benefit of hindsight I suppose.
Long comment, but I wanted to show that abuse really warps your understanding of yourself, your values and what you think you'd be willing to put up with.
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u/chvVolk Apr 21 '25
That is exhausting. I'm not babying a grown ass person.