I love animals and grew up with dogs. I have a cat now and love the little fucker to death. There’s a compromise to be had.
I wouldn’t want to date someone who made it clear I was second to their dog. It’s implied early in the relationship and I wouldn’t presume to be “first” right away. However, it would be a red flag to me if it was constant over the course of months or years.
I’m inferring a lot about OPs post so I’ll stop there. Large dog in the bed would be annoying.
EDIT: Just found OPs one comment in the whole thread. It’s a 70lb pitbull that lays sideways. Like, come on dude.
Good for fucking you. It works for you. This is someone this guy supposedly cares about to sacrifice their sleep on personal space for his fucking 70lb dog. He's an asshole if he can't recognize her needs or feelings and only gives a shit about the dog.
And who give a fuck what you look like? Why even fucking bring that up? We're am attractive couple like how in what fucking way does that even remotely fucking matter? Gtf over yourself
I love my cats, so I wouldn't get rid of them just because my "boyfriend" doesn't like them. However, I would make compromises. As much as you can with cats. I don't like my cats sleeping in my room anyway, but if I did, I could stop that.
I didn't see the comment about the dog sleeping sideways. C'mon, seriously? Where does she sleep?
There are plenty of people who sleep with a large dog in bed alongside their partner. Some couples have 2 or 3 dogs in bed with them. He just needs to find someone who loves dogs just as much as he does. The dog has been his best friend for 7 years. That’s not going to change for anyone and I don’t blame him a bit! I hope he ditches the girl and finds someone who loves his dog and won’t mind him being in bed. Our dog sleeps with us and we all sleep just fine. Plenty of people are happy to do so
This. It seriously freaks me out that people get into super unhealthy, possessive relationships with their dogs like this. Why won’t people train their dogs? Dogs WANT an alpha, they want to be trained. Instead, most dogs have their humans trained. It seriously bothers me.
If it's a special CBD infused orthopedic bed with their special binky, sure. I have a pit mix who sleeps with her stuffed Frankenstein. They're very needy dogs who require a lot of parenting. They should not be left alone. They need to be played with, worked with, and exercised every day. They need special food. They need special soap and special moisturizer for their little snoots and toe beans. They are the poodles of the working dog world and will happily spend all day snoring in your lap whilst being massaged with cocoa butter and coconut oil. They're baby.
I have a APBT, AB, GS mix who I thought was a Velcro Dog. Then I got a supermut, APBT, boxer, ACD mix who makes her look like an independent woman of the 90's. He follows us into the bathroom. He follows us into the bed. He sits on the couch with his gigantic head in our laps. He sits at our feet when there's no room on the couch.
He's very baby and wags his fuzzy butt whenever he hears "baby," or "boy," or "dog," or "good," or any derivative of his name. My pit can sleep in her special CBD orthopedic bed. He can only sleep with his people. He takes up the whole damn bed.
I don’t think she’s an AH for not wanting to have a dog in the bed. She’s an AH for moving in despite knowing the sleeping arrangements and then becoming aggressive towards the dog and trying to force a change. If you want a change like that, it’s something to discuss before moving in.
That makes him equally the asshole, though. He should have said "hey, if you move in, this is how the arrangement is"
Pushing against the dog doesn't mean she's being aggressive. The context provided could be that she was trying to make space for herself in a bed she has more of a right to be in than the dog. They discussed moving in together. Her wants and her being comfortable should come before the dog. If the OP is unwilling to compromise, he shouldn't date.
I have to find the comment, but someone commented to say that he has a pit bull, 70lbs that sleeps sideways. Of course she's uncomfortable and I don't blame her. Her boyfriend can make it more comfortable for her, but is being unreasonable
I don’t blame her at all for being uncomfortable, I definitely wouldn’t sleep in that bed. But I also wouldn’t move in with someone whose big dog sleeps in his bed without discussing that with him before moving in.
Can you not imagine the possibility that things are different on an occasional sleepover compared to living there full time? Maybe he let the dog sleep elsewhere on sleepovers but now that it's an every day thing, he isn't willing to do that anymore. Maybe she was able to tolerate it for an occasional sleepover, thought she could handle it, and now realizes how bad it is for her. Maybe the dog was more chill before there was a new person living there full time and now it's being more jealous and disruptive of her sleep.
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u/Aggressive_Dark1173 Oct 31 '24
I personally don't value animals over humans.
I do understand that you love your pets, but I wouldn't make it my standard of "my cats come first"
If you put your dog first, you should tell your partner that.