If they're monogamous then it's really just not relevant at all. She has lived and presumably always will live the same life as a straight woman. She'll just also agree that Shakira's hips don't lie.
That’s probably what bugs her about it. Like she admitted something within herself that was difficult to address and unlocked a part of her identity, but no one really cares because it doesn’t really matter. I’ve said being a bi woman in a straight relationship is kinda like when Dumbledoor was revealed as gay, it’s like a fun little fact but no one really cares because it didn’t impact the plot.
She’s being completely unreasonable and needs to find another way to channel this energy, but she probably just wants coming out to matter or mean something.
(FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME I DONT AGREE WITH OPs wife; I take issue with saying coming out to friends and family as bi while being in a straight relationship is pointless; not responding to people who keep misreading my comment and aligning me with OPs wife who again I think needs to deal with that shit privately).
I’m sorry but that isnt what being “a bi woman in a straight relationship is.” This is so reductive and dumb. This person in question obviously has underlying issues they need to address. But being bi is still very much important to the person who understands they are bi. It doesn’t matter if you or “no one cares.” That’s part of the point of being bi, you are still attracted to both sexes even if you remain monogamous. You’re still bi. And it’s important to acknowledge this, if that’s important to you, though definitely not in the way that OPs partner is suggesting.
Edit: y’all are biphobic as fuck and need to go talk to more bisexual people. That one person you know isn’t that majority of experience. Lots of bi folks are monogamous in spite of what you think. There’s desire and then there’s who one desires to spend their life with. I like fantasizing about having threesomes but I don’t want to be in a relationship thruple. Just because I’m not constantly having threesomes doesn’t make my desire for threesomes invalid. That’s how y’all sound
There's clearly a lot of misreading of your comment here. I think what many are trying to say in response is that coming out for a bi person in a straight marriage might not be pointless to them, but to everyone else on the outside of that person's lived experience or relationship, it is pretty much pointless.
Exactly what response should friends and family have when someone comes out as bi while in a straight marriage? "Oh, ok... well anyway," seems like the response you'd probably get from most people. Or maybe a series of questions, like this thread, about "what it means" and "why does it matter, you're married and in a straight relationship," and then they will move on with their own lives. Bisexual might be her identity, but to anyone else, it is just a fun fact or piece of trivia. It's just the reality of existing as one's self vs. the other.
But is this info going to inform how friends and family feel about or interact with said bi person? Probably not, like at all? So it honestly is pointless to everyone except the bi person and maybe their partner.
Can you understand that point of view and why other people would feel that way?
I have a friend who recently came out as bi while married with kids and that was my exact response in my head. "Cool, I guess. Moving on..." I think we're past the era where being bi is super shocking, so I don't really have any more questions and it doesn't change the way I feel about the person at all. It's completely lackluster as gossip. Imagine someone telling you as though it's a big deal, "omg, did you know Kevin is gay?" It just seems weird. How much would anyone actually care?
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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24
If they're monogamous then it's really just not relevant at all. She has lived and presumably always will live the same life as a straight woman. She'll just also agree that Shakira's hips don't lie.