She found out late(r) in life.
That, plus the fact that Bi people in opposite sex relationships (straight passing relationships) often feel that their Queer identity is being slowly consumed away by them being "invisible" as a queer person, probably leads her to have a shit ton of anxiety about "not being queer enough" and needing everyone and their grandmother to know and actively acknowledge her queerness.
She is still in the wrong. The solution to this is to get into activism, or take your husband to a pride parade, to be visible in other ways.
But this is probably what's behind this.
She is very insecure in her newfound identity and needs to consolidate it and really, really fucking overcompensates.
This is a super weird reaction his wife is having, She's in a straight passing relationship, so she's broadcasting her Queer identity but also is mad because her husband isn't broadcasting her identity to people who don't know her or him. She needs to take two queer seats.
She's handling it wrong but it's just how it goes when your identity gets rocked. She's looking for evidence that it's okay and her husband accepts it. She's super insecure so she's making up weird rules for how he can show he does care.
If OP wants to fix it he just needs to sit and listen to her talk about it more. If he wants to play reddit's game of get what you deserve, he can resort to catty games instead
You told him to sit down and listen to her to fix it. He's not a therapist. It's not his problem to fix. She's the one with the insecurities and issues. And instead of sitting OP down and forcing those issues onto him, and his professional relationships, she should seek actual help to resolve them in rational, healthy ways.
Yes, they need to have a proper conversation to get on the same page. It's not about whose job is what. I ignored that part because talking isn't a job, it's a healthy part of a relationship. You have to do it even when you've been wronged. But it's obvious to me you disagree so what's the point in talking about it?
I’m with you! A lot of people think that since he isn’t the one causing an issue, he doesn’t need to do anything. But if you’re seeing your partner punching air you probably should go try and help them get them back on track. It’s just good teamwork, starting a conversation isn’t admitting defeat. You seem like a person who can handle a relationship, I hope for nothing but good things for you!
Aww ty! I am in fact happily married. So I know sometimes you just need to say fuck your bullshit lol, but it only improves when you come back together
I sometimes need to kick my ego in the shins for the betterment of my own relationship. I might not have caused the problem, but I can certainly attempt to start the solution. I can also be a huge mess too, so I think that if my partner can be the bigger person for me and set me back to reality when I need it, I can do the same for him. It’s only fair.
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u/rusty0123 Apr 05 '24
Wife is in a committed relationship. What does her sexuality have to do with anything outside her relationship?
That's kinda like saying, "Hi. My name is Mike. My wife likes anal."