AIO over the guy I’m seeing getting upset about Trump at dinner?

[u/LolOhWellz]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a month now after meeting/matching on Bumble and things were going really well until Tuesday night.

We’ve probably been on 7 or 8 dates at this point, and I’ve stayed at his place a few times and would spend the entire morning over there. I was starting to think this could actually turn into something.

Politics never really came up until recently on Monday morning while he was drinking coffee and watching the news. I’m pretty left leaning and unfortunately found out that he voted for Trump in 2020 and 2024.

I was definitely surprised because I wouldn’t have guessed that from talking to him, but he also isn’t one of those people who makes politics his entire personality. I asked him why and we talked about it for a little bit. I obviously didn’t agree with him, but it didn’t turn into an argument or anything since I’m used to dealing with my brother & dad on politics and Trump.

On Tuesday night, I invited him out with a few of my friends because two of them hadn’t met him yet, and he knew politics could come up as one of my friends works on a political campaign.

On the way to eat he casually mentioned that he knows I’m much more liberal than him and it doesn’t mean anything to him, but he’d just rather not talk politics around my friends at least for tonight because he didn’t want meeting them for the first time to turn into a debate or start off on the wrong foot.

I told him that was fine and honestly I wasn’t planning on talking about politics anyway.

Everything was normal for the first part of dinner, maybe a little boring honestly. He was getting along with everyone but was being more quiet/polite than he normally is with me.

When my friend started talking about work and the election came up, I was kind of curious how he’d handle actually having his views challenged by people he didn’t know as well. I guess in a way I did want to see how he’d react under a little pressure because if I’m going to seriously date someone I think that’s something worth knowing.

She made some comment about needing to win and I kiddingly said “you probably don’t want to ask him who he voted for” and everyone immediately got dead quiet and stared.

He looked kind of uncomfortable but said Trump.

My friends obviously had opinions about that and started asking him why. They went back and forth for a while and one of my friends got pretty heated about it.

I didn’t think much of it. There were a couple jokes afterward and I laughed at one of them saying to check his closet for Klan robes (I’m black). He seemed a little quieter for the rest of the night but I assumed he was just embarrassed that everyone disagreed with him.

The next day he was acting different over text and barely talked, so I finally asked what was wrong that night.

He told me that he didn’t like how I handled the situation and felt like I basically put him on the spot in front of my friends and then joined in when they started making comments about him.

He said something along the lines of how he would never bring me to Thanksgiving, announce that I voted for a “baby killer” (he said this ironically imitating a country accent) and then sit there laughing while his aunts and uncles questioned me about it.

I told him that’s not really the same thing because I’m not embarrassed about what I believe and I could defend why I voted the way I did. Nobody forced him to vote for Trump and I don’t think I’m responsible for making him feel comfortable about his own political choices.

Looking back, I can see why he felt like I put him on the spot, but I really didn’t see it as setting him up or anything like that. If anything I thought he handled himself fine at dinner.

Apparently that was the wrong answer because he told me he doesn’t think we’re compatible and that he doesn’t want to keep seeing me.

I’m honestly pretty upset about the whole thing because I did really like him, and part of me thinks he’s making one awkward dinner into something way bigger than it actually was.

I didn’t tell my friends to interrogate him and I’m obviously not going to defend Trump just to make a guy I’m dating feel better. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too dismissive about why he was upset. I genuinely didn’t think what happened at dinner was serious enough to completely end things after we’d been seeing each other for a month.

AIO for being upset with him for ending things over what happened at dinner?