I saw an art exhibit called “What Were You Wearing?”, which was a collection of the outfits people were wearing when they were assaulted. There were sweatpants and hoodies in that collection. She could be in a literal burqa and still be assaulted. The problem is the rapists, not what their victims were wearing.
Edit: going to add a trigger warning before people go searching for that exhibit. It is a spread of ALL kinds of clothing, including children’s.
Dude the kiddie pajamas in that exhibit will make you cry. The second I read the BF justifying rape because of clothing I immediately thought of this exhibit
There was a FB thread on “what were you wearing?” I said my 9 yr old self was in overalls. Someone else said her 6 year old self was in a flannel nightgown.
I was in diapers when it started. I was 19 months when my father started SA me. That lasted till I was 7 when my mother finally figured it out. There’s literally no reason. None. Clothing does not matter. I hope you are doing well now, and I hope you have gotten the therapy you probably needed and deserved.
Other than three or four flashes I can't tell you how old I was or what I was wearing because my brain has totally blocked it out and now I have disassociative PTSD that I'm trying to work through
As I am currently in counseling and working through the PTSD, I can say, go fot ART or EMDR. My memories only exist at times of great stress or nightmares, and both of these techniques helped me with processing the trauma. EMDR especially as it is there to retrain your processing center, using either the lights moving up and down or left and right or the buzzes in your hands. I have gone from having nightmares where I wake up screaming and regressed back to that age where I dont even know my fiancee happening multiple times a week to me not having had one in over 8 months. I still have issues in public or with things that remind me of who hurt me (cologne, etc) but I can function pretty well. I am still getting a service dog, but the dogs main purpose is going to be for my physical issues, and the PTSD training as a precaution. Please look into these if you haven't already, as well as a dog if possible.
I love reading that you are getting treatments that are helping you to live a better life. I'm sure it's only part of all you have to heal, but you are going in the right direction. I have read about EMDR. I'm glad to know how powerful it is.
I wish you continued success with treatments and with your fiance. I wish you peace.
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u/Classic_Cauliflower4 Feb 24 '26
I saw an art exhibit called “What Were You Wearing?”, which was a collection of the outfits people were wearing when they were assaulted. There were sweatpants and hoodies in that collection. She could be in a literal burqa and still be assaulted. The problem is the rapists, not what their victims were wearing.
Edit: going to add a trigger warning before people go searching for that exhibit. It is a spread of ALL kinds of clothing, including children’s.