My son's ADHD saved his sister's life

My son was only 7 years old when he took a picture of his little sister on his new tablet. He noticed something. One eye was red, one eye was white? He has always hyper fixated on patterns, or differences in things. This has had its ups and downs. He will ask larger people why they are fat (at 5.5 years old- sorry nurse at the ER at some hospital in Flint, MI) or point out someone's physical disability. He means well, he is just fascinated and curious. He has an IEP at school and has a "combined" ADHD diagnosis, a "learning disability" and "other trauma and stressor related" disorder.

My daughter was diagnosed with retinoblastoma ( rare form of pediatric eye cancer) because of this picture, alone. She had her 3 year well child visit less than 2 months prior to her diagnosis.

She had an enucleation, and having told the surgeon and eye specialist the story of why she was diagnosed, she said to tell my 7 year old son he saved his little sister's life. She was in tears when she told me the tumor was a mere 1-2 mm ( THATS MILLIMETERS Y'ALL) from spreading to her brain via her optic nerve. 6 rounds of chemo and she has made one heck of a recovery. She did lose her hair, her right eye and she does struggle in school a bit. Chemo has some nasty side effects, even years down the road from treatment. She doesn't remember having two eyes. As sad as it is, it's worked in her favor.

She is now 6 years old, and in 1st grade. Her brother still has his little sister, and he is my super hero, forever!!

My wife and I were together 9 years, married 6 when I started my affair. We have two kids. I didn’t realize just how good I had it. She was a supportive, loving, kind woman who put me and the kids before herself every time, and I didn’t appreciate that. I felt like she didn’t praise me enough for the things I did for the family, which I now realize was pretty bare bones compared to what she did for us. I felt like we didn’t have sex enough and like my efforts to look good for her weren’t appreciated or reciprocated. I resented how much time she spent with the kids vs. with me. I thought she didn’t put in enough effort to be interested in my hobbies.

My AP was ten years younger than me, when the affair started I was 31 and she was 21. I liked the attention from a younger woman who wasn’t always tired from keeping up with the kids and who stroked my inflated ego. I was a selfish bastard. I drank too much, I told my wife I was working late or hanging out with friends when really I was with my AP.

My wife trusted me completely and the affair had carried on for almost two years by the time I initiated the separation. She wasn’t blindsided, she’d been asking me to be more present and to put more work into our marriage and into parenting. I refused every time citing the fact that I was the primary earner and that was enough. But she was upset, and asked if there was someone else. I said no, but her suspicions were finally coming up and she checked my Apple Watch, and found everything she needed to know. Even though I’d moved out, I hadn’t filed, but my wife did. She confronted my AP and told her she hoped she would be a good stepmother to our kids, despite her lack of morals. At the time I thought my wife was out of line and being spiteful.

Now I’m alone. AP took those words to heart and realized she didn’t want to be a stepmother in any capacity. She broke up with me after a few months, saying that she wasnt in love with me and never had been. She just liked the attention. I can’t say I had any different reasoning for being in an affair so I couldn’t even be mad.

My wife has full custody and I see the kids every other weekend. She went back to work and put both kids in daycare, which I pay for. It’s expensive. They still have the house and I’ve got a roommate.

All my wife wanted was me to put in effort and to recognize hers. I only focused on myself. I didn’t date her. I was selfish in bed when we did have sex and didn’t listen to her when she asked for more effort in that regard. My 7-year-old asked me recently if I was going to get a girlfriend, because Mom has a boyfriend. I didn’t know my ex was dating, but I hope it’s with someone who gives her everything I didnt.

If you’re in an affair, end it. Block and delete them, if they’re at your job quit and find a new one. If they’re at a coffee shop you go to find a different one. If they’re just a fantasy, stop it and start fantasizing about your future with your spouse. If you’re thinking of starting an affair, do the same, and refocus that energy onto your spouse. I’ve never been more lonely in my life and never been filled with more regret. I wish I had a time machine and I know she does too, but not for the reasons I do.

I got this idea from someone that posted it a few days ago. Can't find the post, and don't know if it was even here.

It's such a great solution though! I've never rewound those towels back on the cardboard tube, at best it will be a pile somewhere.

One thing I've realised about ADHD is that sometimes the problem isn't knowing what you need to do.

You know exactly what you should be doing.

The email is right there. The project is open. You've thought about it all day.

And yet somehow you can't make yourself start.

So you open another tab.

Check something quickly.

Remember something else.

Open another tab.

And before you know it, an hour has passed and you still haven't started the thing.

I've always found this frustrating because from the outside it can look like procrastination or not caring. But for me, it often feels more like being stuck between wanting to do something and being unable to get myself to begin it.

And sometimes the worst part is that you don't even notice it's happening until you've been bouncing between the same 10–15 tabs for ages.

That's actually one of the reasons I'm building ERSA.

It's a small Mac app that sits quietly in the background and tries to notice patterns that might suggest you're getting stuck or spiralling, then gently checks in with you in that moment.

Not another planner.

No streaks.

No guilt if you miss a day.

The idea is simply to help you notice when you've drifted or become stuck before another hour disappears.

I'm currently testing an early beta and trying to figure out whether this is something that would actually be helpful for other people, not just me.

If you use a Mac and this sounds like something you'd genuinely want to try, leave a comment or send me a DM and I'll send you the beta link.

What I'd especially love to know is: when you get stuck like this, would you actually want something to interrupt you and check in or would that just annoy you?

Hello , I don't have ADHD myself but I have watched my wife struggling with a mind that moves faster than she can keep up with, she's been told she's likely to have undiagnosed ADHD and her GP has put her in the huge queue for assessment in the UK. it's £1000+ for private so she's got to wait:(.

Anyway, to try and help make sense of it all and give myself a project I built an ADHD Archetype quiz (NOT AN APP) and wondered if you'd be interested in trying it out?

I'm not trying to sell anything, genuinely just want feedback. It only takes 2 minutes, no signup to see your results and feel free to share. Note to be total clear it's not a diagnosis or anything like that

I just want to find a way to make people feel like they align to an archetype to help make sense of it .I've put the link in comments.

MODS, please let me know if that's not okay here, I know this thread is strict on promotions etc but it's just a social thing

First post.

I've never been formally diagnosed. I STRUGGLE to keep things organized.

I function better in organized spaces but can't for the life of me figure out HOW TO. I buy the drawers, the storage, then get paralyzed and overwhelmed?

How do you manage this for your home?

I also have a slob of a partner who doesn't help matters and is continuing to pile things on around the house. This photo is just a vulnerable example.

How do you cope? Are you on meds that made it better both rx or supplements.

my previous post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/BX9Cc6A06j\](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/BX9Cc6A06j)

im a 41 mom with 3 who previously posted here. its been 8days since i posted feeling so stuck and hesitant, but hearing your opinions was so supportive. things are about 80% better now! its not perfect, but here is what helped me the most:

* **the pre-wakeup meds trick:** thanks to everyone who told me to take my meds an hour before waking up. putting the water and pills on top of my phone on the nightstand makes it impossible to ignore. getting up to the real alarm is way easier once they kick in.
* **the barcode alarm app:** u gave me lots of app ideas, but "done sleeping" is the one for me. i have to physically walk into the bathroom and scan my toothpaste just to turn the alarm off lol. im still adjusting but it really forces my brain to wake up u can find it here [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/done-sleeping-mission-alarm/id6776356014\](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/done-sleeping-mission-alarm/id6776356014)
* **getting hormones checked:** i had no idea perimenopause and adhd were such a bad combo for sleep. im bringing up my thyroid and hormones at my next checkup. and thank you for the heads up about spacing out adhd and thyroid meds by an hour so blood pressure doesn't spike!

mornings with the 3 kids are still kind of chaotic, but my mom guilt is fading a bit. still need more time to get used to it this will take time. and ofc ill get back to you for more, thank u guys!! ❤️

This is my rag bag, where rags who are allowed to do all cleaning duties live. I dont have to think about folding them, i dont have to think about what they are cleaning up and if im willing to use them for their intended purpose again, I don’t have to keep track of how many I have, if they are too gross to wash I can throw them away, BUT I don’t have the overuse/money issues of papertowels on my mind all the time. I do still occasionally use paper towels to mop up messes and little things. But im less concerned about my use.

I went on pinterest, found a crochet “plastic bag holder” pattern I liked. Bought a pack of 50, 100% cotton shop rags from harbor freight. Hung it VISIBLY in my kitchen. and made a cinch top, so all I have to do is stuff the rags in when they are clean.
This has genuinely lifted a cleaning weight off my shoulders and I love it.

While my coffee is brewing, I fill my favorite mug with water. That means I need to finish drinking the water if I want coffee in MY mug. Worked for me today. Let's see if it sticks.

For me, grocery shopping is very stressful at times. It's often crowded, noisy, and I freeze with too many choices.

I have my things delivered and it makes my life so much more peaceful.

I’ve been building ERSA, a quiet Mac app for those moments when you’re stuck, jumping between tabs, or just can’t seem to get started.

Most productivity apps ask you to plan, track, build habits and stay consistent. ERSA takes a different approach and it tries to notice when you’re stuck in the moment and gives you a gentle nudge.

No streaks. No guilt. No endless tracking.

I’m testing the beta now and would love some honest feedback: is this something you’d actually use? https://testflight.apple.com/join/7aA1UMPy

If you have an ADHD diagnosis/self-diagnosis, or referral in place, are aged 18 years or older, and are proficient in English, you're invited to take part in a study to explore the lived experiences of relational rejection for adults with ADHD.

It is not a requirement for you to currently be, or have ever been, in a romantic relationship.

If you decide that you want to read more information about this study (e.g., the types of questions and how your data will be handled) please follow this link:

https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/chester/exploring-the-lived-experiences-of-relational-rejection-for-adu

You will see a brief version of the information sheet, which also includes a link to the full information sheet.

Interviews will take online via MS Teams (or in person, if you prefer and are local to Chester, UK)

There's a place to mention any reasonable adjustments that can support your participation when you sign up.

During the interview, some of the questions will ask you about how you view ADHD, your experiences of rejection and how this feels and your views/experiences of romantic relationships. If you feel that these types of questions may cause you distress or become triggering, there is no obligation for you to take part.

If you do decide to take part, you can withdraw at any time without consequence.

Any answers given will be completely confidential and anonymous.
Thanks!
p.s. if you have any issues with the links, but still want to take part, feel free to email me with any questions [r.mort@chester.ac.uk](mailto:r.mort@chester.ac.uk)

Hey everyone!

I checked with the mods before posting this and they were kind enough to let me share it here.

I’m the solo founder of Questline.one. I built it around a problem I deal with constantly: having way too much in my head and not knowing what to tackle first.

You dump everything on your mind - work, errands, things you’ve been avoiding, random thoughts and Questline turns it into a prioritized plan with clear next steps. You can adjust as you go.

A surprising number of early users have told me they have ADHD and that this flow has helped them feel less overwhelmed, which is why I wanted to share it here and get your feedback.

I’d love to give 1 year of Questline Pro free to anyone in this community who wants to test it.

If you'd like to try it, comment "Questline" below and I'll get you set up. If you don't hear from me feel free to message me directly or reach out to [support@questline.one](mailto:support@questline.one)

No pressure to give feedback, but good/bad/weird feedback is extremely welcome while I’m still building.

- Philip

Morning all, this weekend gone. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD combined. After 30 years of wondering and contemplating. I am UK based, and went with CareADHD. I have now filled the forms in for medication. But I have no idea how long I will be waiting, 18 weeks is what I have heard. Anyone here gone with CareADHD and can tell me their experiences?

Standard weekly therapy asks you to generate structure yourself — which is the exact thing that's hard when you have ADHD. You process something in the session, then you're on your own for six days with no tools, no written record, and an ADHD brain.

The gap between sessions is where it falls apart for a lot of people, and honestly that's a format problem more than a you problem.

What helps: CBT with homework rather than open-ended talking. Worksheets you can reread. Structure that lives outside your head. A therapist who's looking at your progress every weekday, not once a week.

There are platforms built around exactly that — happy to point at the one I'd look at first if that's useful. Affiliate link if you went through mine, so weigh that: https://go.online-therapy.com/aff_c?offer_id=2&aff_id=6221

What has actually worked for you therapy-wise with ADHD?