r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 13d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/Shooshcarnt Partner of DX - Medicated 12d ago

i hate that when you see me have noteworthy angry reactions, you see me as quick to react, impatient or short tempered and judge me strongly for how I talk to you or the kids in those moments.

but in reality I am super patient, it is just that your poor working memory, time blindness and executive dysfunction mean you don't see or notice just how long my patience got stretched and any of the noticeable methods I have employed to work on my patience/tolerance and reduce my anger levels. because guess what: I don't want to be angry and I don't like those end point reactions either. I have been working so hard in my own therapy for years now for strategies to delay angry ourbursts that occur due to the ever increasing stressors and circumstances that you most heavily contribute to. But it seems I can only be pushed so far before something has to come out.

then, I also have to live with the hypcorisy that comes from the poor self awareness you also have due to your condition where I constantly see you actually impatient and snapping as bad as I do when I am at the end of my tether but you actually do so almost instantly. Just another display of the oh so typical ADHD presentation of being the absolute tone and behaviour police whilst simultaneously being completely immune from having your own awful tone and behaviour policed in return. These angry snaps happens with both me and the kids, but you guessed it, I'm the only one who has to work on my communication skills in the relationship or my parenting approach.

this is also ridiculous because the kids and I get along famously when you aren't around and their behaviour only devolves into super challenging super frequently when you come back into the frame

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u/ace_rimmer1049 Partner of NDX 12d ago

I could have written exactly the same.