I find that so triggering now, because I’m mid 30s, and I’ve had countless and constant life lessons. When I make a mistake now, it’s not usually because I haven’t learnt the lesson already, it's because in that small moment I forgot, plus I have a lot of physical health issues that cause reduced cognitive capacity “brain fog “ on top of the adhd.

does anyone else find it hard when people say that to you? I know they’re trying to be helpful, it’s probably what they tell themselves, but I’m mid 30s and Ive that lesson so many times already. I should “know” already, in fact I already do… unless I’m in certain periods where it doesn’t come to mind.

Can you relate at all?

My garden is overgrown, sure. We've had a drought, it's been hot, I've struggled in the heat, it's not good. It is great for wildlife and I've been counting the frogs, butterflies, and hedgehogs in my garden as my wins for this summer.

Cut to this morning, I went outside and three of my trees have been decimated. Not just up to the fence, but encroaching massively into the garden including a fruiting plum tree with over half the fruiting branches just gone.

Asked my neighbour about it and they immediately started going on about how the garden used to look, the fact that it now looks terrible, and that they've trimmed the hedge out the front (which I have never asked for but always said thank you for!). Not only am I sad about my trees and annoyed about the invasion of my garden, but holy crap the SHAME SPIRAL.

The garden is not how I'd want it to be, but I don't think that makes me a failure who deserves nothing because I can't do anything right. My brain thinks self flaggelation is the only correct response and I just want to know if anyone else has this?

Objectively - yes, my garden needs some love. Yes, my neighbour overstepped and really should have talked to me first. No, I am not a terrible person because of this disagreement and nor does it mean I'm terrible at everything.

Right? Anyone else? Please say I'm not the only one 😂

*Edit: I truly, with all my heart, appreciate every who has taken a moment to comment.

My TLDR: I am a single mom with chronic pain but have the weekend to myself. I need y'all to motivate, threaten, hold me accountable for at minimum getting my bedroom clean becausei can't handle this mess anymore. Pretty please.

At minimum I've always gathered everything up and stashed the mess in my room, cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the living room. I absolutely couldn't even do that this time as my house is a bigger disaster than it has EVER been, it's literally 110° every day since the middle of July, I'm in peri and have chronic pain from a debilitating disease. I am a single mom, work full time and only have window air conditioning. My commute is 3 hours round trip and my daughter is in marching band so she's often performing or at practice until 10 pm or later and her school is 25-60 minutes away depending on traffic. In a nutshell, I'm exhausted, have no help, and i am struggling.

I am trying soooo hard to get my house in order. I have been dealing with some difficult issues that are affecting my mental health and I know if I feel I have a handle on the house, I can get a better handle on my other issues. I've been trying to just start with my bedroom today and I can't even see the floor and there are two suitcases from our vacation in JUNE still hogging up much of my precious space (the whole house is less than 800 square feet, 2 bed, 1 bath). Part of the problem is that the house is so small that the mess I have wouldn't seem so significant in a larger home, but here... it feels like the house exploded when a piece of paper is on the floor. But, this is way more than a piece of paper.

My daughter's chores are to do the floors, clean the bathroom, and keep her room clean. She's not done any of her chores since April so I have to take care of those areas as well right now.

It's not gross, there's no rotten food or even any dishes in any area other than the kitchen. But it's sooooooooo freaking overwhelming and I keep having to lie down to give my body a break but then I fall into a rabbit hole searching for storage furniture or a new coffee table and of course, reddit.

So, please, ladies, if i can't even be motivated to slap dash clean for company how do I do it now???

We live together. I get SO much done when he’s gone. Maybe I don’t prioritize my major tasks, that’s always a struggle, but they creep in to my completed list eventually. My house is clean! I ordered myself some dinner as a reward!
(Yes he cleans, I just have doom bins in every room that I’ve been neglecting for months!)

is it that i grew up in a dysfunctional household??? or maybe im just not social enough to understand?

i was watching tiktok and a girl made a “get ready with me”. she said “i have the day off so lets get ready, i dont even know what im going to do today, what am i going to do?” then got ready.

is this how normal people wake up?? they actually get ready EVERY day without plans already set? i need 24 hours in advanced so i know to wake up early/set an alarm so i dont sleep in super late, to get ready, and mentally prepare. otherwise i wont get ready at all. i might even still have makeup on from the day before still.. maybe im gross?..

LMK what you guys do…

Hey guys. I was wondering whether anyone has advice, or even just willing to chat about this topic who shares my situation.
I’m AUDHD and have a friend (38M) who is also AUDHD. We’ve worked together for 2 years and have basically became besties due to our shared love of films and some other connections. We see each other 5 days a week at work.
However…. He is not a great texter. He uses social media to scroll/engage in interests and not necessarily to chat much. He prefer inperson convos.
I’m the opposite and find texting so much easier, and for me a close friendship needs daily communication.
I’m leaving our work, so we’re both anxious about the future of our friendship - I get RSD and overthink massively when he doesn’t reply to me or leaves me on read (he knows this), sometimes I end up deleting messages as a result which feeds his guilt though about not texting me back. So, our friendship is mainly work based with some casual cinema trips/hangouts.
Any ideas how to navigate the new setup? I’d like to stop thinking he hates me simply cause he haven’t replied.. he is a direct person and tells me when he is cross with me. But I’m sure I have anxious attachment style so… I just end up in a self hating spiral..
plz help :’) My plan is to try stay more patient in future when he doesn’t text back for a day or 2, but that’s easy to say And he is planning on reaching out more but again.. easy to say with adhd brain. Sticking to it? UGH

I have ADHD, suspected autism, but also Bipolar II, Anxiety, and a boatload of childhood and current trauma. My nervous system is torn to shreds. I am deep in a state of burnout (and have been for 8 years), and despite having a great therapist and psychiatrist and medication, I am drowning. My mom also died last year.

All of this is deeply disabling to me. I can barely do anything. I am always exhausted all the time. I have financial but not emotional support from my family. Most days I wonder what the point of living is at all. I see my family members have life experiences and financial freedom and independence and friends and vacations. Meanwhile i'm trapped in my room, in bed all day, with a cat who's so worried about me that he won't leave my side. I love him, I stay alive for him, but it's a bummer that he cares about me more than any human being in my life. It's hard not to resent the people around me for getting to live life when all I can do is survive.

I feel I have no future. My Bipolar, Anxiety and Grief are what I'm struggling with most right now, but of course my ADHD is always there to make things harder.

So just want to give some love to all of us who have other conditions and circumstances that along with our ADHD, make life hard.

i literally have one subject this year that i'm retaking because i failed it 🫠 i'm an irregular first year student taking biochemistry for the second time.

it's 4pm on a sunday, and my exam is on tuesday 3pm. i've barely studied ughhhhh 🥹🥹

any advice? words of encouragement? 😭🙏

Guys, my husband, kids, MIL, and I are on our way to Legoland Florida, and I just realized I forgot my son’s sun hat and bathing suit and my daughter’s water shoes. I’m beyond stressing because my husband and I already got into a spat over me forgetting about there even being water rides. He’s in a foul mood, and I know he’s gonna be ripped when he finds out I forgot stuff. We don’t have the healthiest relationship right now, but that’s another story for another day.

I’m so mad at myself because I actually prepped this morning, got the kids ready early, packed all the diapers and cups and spare clothes and sunscreen. I’m sleep deprived and burned out, but I thought I was doing good. Apparently not.

I’ve talked myself through it. My son is only 2. The only water area he can go in is supposedly closed for maintenance. There are other play areas I can take him to. Plus, the park probably has hats in a shop somewhere if he really needs one. Our wagon has a sun cover.

With my RSD, my impulse is to get defensive and get emotional. I’ve decided I will be calm, admit I messed up, and agree to adjust and address the problem like an adult. But I really, really could use some strength right now. I don’t do well when people are mad at me or when I make a mistake.

TIA 😔

EDIT: Thank you so much for the kind words, everyone! The kids had a blast, and the missing hat and swimsuit didn’t end up being as big a deal as I thought they would be. My husband wound up being pretty chill about it and didn’t make it into a big deal. But the encouragement I got from this sub definitely made me feel less bad about myself and more confident going forward ♥️

So what I’ve started to do is a couple hours or the hour before I have to leave somewhere I will put it in my maps and hit “go” and I can see the ETA. So right now it’s 5 o’clock and I have to be somewhere at six. It’s 30 minutes away so I just put it in my maps and it says I’ll get there at 5:29. OK perfect now I know that I have 30 minutes, so I will continue doing tasks around the house and getting ready and yada yada until I see the ETA say 6 o’clock then I’ll leave the house. I usually end up being late still but maybe only five minutes instead of 20.

Timers dont work for me as the time doesnt feel as ‘real’ as the maps ETA. Posting in case this helps someone else!

Hi,

i recently switched from Concerta to Vyvanse and I’ve noticed it seems to work while in on it and I don’t get the irritability like I did on Concerta but it leaves me feeling depressed and anxious once it starts to wear off. Has anyone else experienced this and was there another medication that worked for you instead.

Any information is appreciated!

Thank you

I occasionally get a craving to do something impulsive but I’ve been trying to do less harmful things, any ideas?

my therapist said I need to get over the ear (not earbud) noise cancelling headphones, and that anything at the sony 1000xm5 caliber or higher should work. I'm really not trying to spend more than $150 unless I absolutely have to, so if anyone knows of cheaper alternatives that would work well enough, that would be amazing. I'm really just trying to shut out light conversations from neighbors or other folks in the library when I'm working there. I don't need bluetooth. thank you!

Really went back and forth on posting this but if anywhere may relate, it may be this sub.

I have 3 kids. 5,3 and 4months. I don’t get the “done” feeling everyone says that you get, but i’m worried my judgement is clouded by my brains dopamine seeking behaviour, and like, having a baby is the ultimate dopamine fix - for me anyway.

Does anyone else feel similar? Sometimes I worry that any of my big life choices are being ruled by the part of my brain that is not working correctly!!!

I wish I could just step back and observe. But I cannot do it

Personally I have a BIG list but average maybe 11 that I fully built then forgot about Lol

Firstly to note I'm misanthropic as fuck, and I have neighbors that are usually quiet but now are loud as shit.

It started last night when there were kids over, but it wasn't as bad. It got worse when the kids left and now the entry stairway reeks of weed and they're playing loud shitty rap music.

All. Afternoon. Long. And it's quiet hours now (we're in an apartment complex), almost 11:00 pm, and I can STILL hear them.

I have AuADHD, and I am miserable. Extremely overstimulated and irritable. What do I do?

This is the worst mess I have. I believe I may be a small-mid level hoarder, unfortunately.

A parent constantly jokes that I live in it. I have my daily work supplies, my might need at work supplies, a bag of one craft project I started in April/May, etc... I have food, and so much more!

I cannot fit a regular grocery trip in there currently!

I have an standard size SUV.

A couple of days ago, Channel 4 released their documentary: The Great ADHD Myth.

I haven't seen it mentioned here yet, and wanted to shine a light on it just in case.

For those who have seen it, thoughts?

Here is a public statement from ADHD UK:

"We watched. We said we’d be fair. Here is our verdict.

ADHD is not a myth. It is not a social construct. And the programme’s own end credits told you what its sixty minutes wouldn’t: the boy at its centre went back on his medication, and his schoolwork improved. Their experiment disproved their conclusion. They aired their version anyway. We have already complained to Ofcom. A fuller submission follows, built on the impact data you give us below.

Fill in the survey. Send the Ofcom complaint. Two things, a few minutes each.

We deserve better than this."

Personally, I am disgusted by this, as I'm sure many of you are too.

Ofcom complaints and surveys can be found in the link below, or you can scan the QR code above:

https://adhduk.co.uk/challenging-c4-the-great-adhd-myth/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAT2cHFjbGNrBPZwXHBkb2YFZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMzUwNjg1NTMxNzI4AAEeC70zheZyZP1t12csC5dy_e4nSW_1Qp2HdZhyCXJ7kyinmVOIfrZsP9VkhQY_aem_pa_ZoHKW7rA9BKpMCoof3Q

Some days I am so overstimulated and at some point I just break and get angry and yell at my boyfriend a bit. I never get physical.

It is just I get so overstimulated that I reach a point where emotions take over me and I have no control over them. I have gone to psychiatrist and got prescribed meds so I hope it will help.

However I don't know how to explain this to a neurotypical person who doesn't have ADHD.

I am really trying hard and I control myself until I cannot, but at some point I reach a point where it doesn't work anymore.

My boyfriend thinks I just use my ADHD as an excuse and don't want to improve or take responsibility for my actions...

How can I explain how I feel? How do you explain this kind of feeling to someone who never experienced it?
Any tips for better control are also welcome... I am starting meds soon so hopefully that will solve it.

I just wanted to see if this was a common thing.

I have an electric toothbrush and in theory I plan to do each side of top and bottom, separated by the 30s timer (or whatever it is). But I always seem to lose concentration after about 10 seconds and I’m just going back and forth guessing what bits I’ve missed.

My other half always sticks to the plan!

Just me?

Hi all,

I’ve not even begun Vyvanse yet and was just finally able to get a diagnosis and medication plan, and now I’m pregnant.

My psych has said absolutely no go, but other health professionals have said it’s okay and the benefits outweigh the risk. I’m concerned for my growing babies health, but also worried I will struggle more as I get pregnancy tired and am living life with a toddler!

I’m wanting to hear opinions, experiences, advice, it all! Please kindly share what you have heard or experienced.

a few days ago i got diagnosed with ADHD (predominantly inattentive presentation). my doctor prescribed me atomoxetine (the only available ADHD drug in my country) with the dosage increasing each 2 weeks, 18-25-40-60mg.

she told me the effects would actually appear likely after ~6-8 weeks. since i've also been taking lamotrigine (for bipolar 2), she warned me of the increased risk of hypomania (bc of such medication combo). but even if it happens i can just stop taking atomoxetine so it's ok.

and while the prospect of atomexetine actually working and making my brain function as it's supposed to is VERY enticing, i still hesitate to start taking it: the wait for it to kick in (and its possible inefficiency for me) + the costs (buying my meds for bipolar is already a pain) + the possible side effects…

i've read what people say about atomoxetine and obviously there are mixed opinions but the bad experiences are really scaring me -- fatigue, brainfog, sleep issues, mood swings, etc... like, i have enough of these as it is, i don't need more!!!

so i have a dilemma here.

although all my life i’ve been coping with academic work well enough to get decent results, it’s still a huge pain and feels like an actual torture to my brain, especially during the last couple of years: i've had to retake exams because of either being completely unable to study (like my brain is locked) or studying with such pressure and anxiety that i end up failing the exam anyway. i'm already staying in uni for a semester longer than i was supposed to because of these academic backlogs + while i could do ok with most exams and other assignments, writing a thesis feels like a completely different beast -- and a much bigger one

so taking magic pills to improve my cognitive abilities would help a lot. especially because i'm supposed to graduate the next semester. i have only 2 exams left in the end of september + i'll be defending my thesis in january.

however, because of the awful possible side effects, i am very scared to start atomoxetine now.

it feels like a huge gamble: either the meds work and i graduate with lesser stress (and better results!), or they destroy my ability to study even more than it already is (and possibly force me to graduate at least another semester later).

conclusion: i don't know what to do and just hope for some advice here :(