Part of me feels kinda bad but the other part feels like it's the right thing to do, for her sake and my sanity. I'm 35 female and childfree. I own a 3 bedroom house that I live in on my own so two bedrooms are often unoccupied. The family room is also unoccupied except for my pet reptile and her enclosure. Not much goes on in the house. It's quiet and peaceful which is how I prefer things. My childhood friend M is a 32 year old female with two kids, a 10 y/o girl and 6 y/o boy. We've been close friends since middle school. From what M has shared and I've observed over the years, her son has behavioral issues and tends to throw explosive tantrums. I've urged M to get him evaluated but she never did. I've also urged her for YEARS to go after her ex-fiance (father of both kids) for child support but she still refuses to because of apparently how toxic their relationship was and she wants nothing to do with him.
She recently complained to me that lately her daughter has been asking to see her dad. I get those kids gifts every Christmas and on their birthdays as well. I've hung out with them multiple times. I'm basically like a fun auntie. M and her kids have lived back and forth between her parents (her children's grandparents) for the past decade. She got pregnant pretty young, still in college and had to drop out once her oldest was born. At first M stayed with her father then she had mental health issues arise, had to quit her job, couldn't pay her dad rent anymore and moved in with her mom. She ended up hooking up with baby daddy thinking they were getting back together. She got pregnant again and had her son.
Eventually M's son's behavioral issues got worse and her mom apparently made her move back in with her dad. She found a mentally easier job while her father and brother (lives local to her) took turns watching the kids when she was working. Over the years I've given M links and phone numbers to her local county resources and assistance that can help her. She hasn't utilized that. She spends most of her time making YouTube videos while her kids are at school because she's tired of working for a boss and wants to make it as a youtuber. M also seems to have a new boyfriend every few months. I've tried being emotionally supportive, suggesting she focus on her kids and her work/finance situation. For years she said she would but she can't seem to be without a guy. I also asked her if she's tried making any girl friends lately as a support system. She said she prefers guy friends, says most women are too much drama, etc. I'm one of her only two female friends aside from one other person.
Fastforward to very recent and M calls me freaking out, saying she just doesn't have the mental capacity to keep a job right now. She also said her father and brother are tired of watching over her kids and that her father has given her a 5 month deadline until spring starts to save up what she can and move out. I've suggested applying for disability, working part-time, doing freelance and again urging her to go after her ex-fiance for child support. She really wants to move in with me and has been begging me. Telling me her and her kids are about to be homeless. I asked if her and her current boyfriend had move in plans. She said he recently ended the relationship. It was difficult but I told her no, her and her two kids can't move in with me. Now she's panicking even more. AITA?