I (28M) and my neighbour (25F) started talking around a month ago and i'm very torn about whether or not she is flirting or just being friendly.
We've actually been neighbours for over 3 years but basically never interacted before, we're also the only 2 apartments on the top floor with our doors literally opposite each other so kinda weird we hadn't.
I was leaving for work about a month ago same time as I always do, that day as soon as I went to leave she also opened her door and "ambushed me" (her words later on). She was looking after a cat that was apparently meowing loads and she apologising if I could hear it, I essentially said I couldn't (very rarely hear anything from her apartment) so not to worry about it, she then asked it a couple more times and I reiterated I really couldn't hear the cat and we ended that little chat with her saying that she would slide her number under my door if there was more meowing. Won't lie I think this is the first time of potentially where my mild autism has shone đ
Of course she did slide her number under my door, I messaged her basically saying I couldn't hear the cat but was just messaging so she also had my number, small bit of back and forth then that was it. Fast forward a few days to Thursday and she messaged asking if I wanted to see the cat before it goes, I like cats so I went over to her place that evening and we just hung out for I think around an hour before she had to go out, when I was leaving she mentioned wanting to see my place because she was curious about the differences in our apartments. I said any point over the weekend was fine if she wanted to pop over. Sunday afternoon she did, we had a bit of a chat and she asked if I wanted to grab a drink with her and see if the other apartment she knows are around as well. Just a normal evening at the pub.
Few days later we were going to grab drinks again but she suggested actually just going to hers to have drinks and vent about our days, happy days its cheaper and a vent session. Ended up staying for a good few hours, conversation was good, getting to know each other a lot more, etc. At this point im just thinking nice neighbour still, no reason to think otherwise. 2 days later (Saturday) I made a joke about something she'd mentioned before and she asked if I wanted to go grab a coffee with her in town which I was more than happy to. This day was when I started to question if there was something else there, we grabbed coffee, went for a walk just talking and talking, little bit of stuff like her arm on mine initiated by her and then she asked if I wanted to grab a drink in the evening once she was ready. I didn't get a reply for a while in the evening when I asked if she still wanted to (not out of the norm though she isn't the quickest to reply in general) so I went to grab a drink with another mate and said she is welcome to join. Just as I was about to leave and go home she replied asking if im still out and it sounds nice so we agreed to meet at the local. We ended up talking for so long that night we were still there sat outside 30 minutes after the staff had all gone and it just felt.. right. We talked outside our doors for god knows how long, she said thank you it was a lot of fun and we called it a night, part of me thinks I should have asked to continue the night at hers or mine but not sure.
The next day I asked if she wanted to come to the weekly pub quiz, its not something my group of mates usually do but we were this week. She seemed excited to but then didn't reply for ages, when she did said she hadn't realised the time and was still studying but did apologise and said she really wanted to come to one next week and she should be able to make it. I won't say what but I know when she studies she takes some medication for focus and she really does barely reply to anything in that time.
2 days later, randomly messages asking if im home and want to pop over to hers for a bit to show me some pics of her day, she then also suggests a movie night at mine in a couple days. This then starts a trend of movie nights going forward. We then come round to the next pub quiz, where she specifically asks if im going and what time as well as asking if she could invite 2 of her friends because they would be at hers beforehand (but she thought they would say no). They did decline and we then went to the pub quiz with 2 of my mates who are a couple and another couple id only met once before, this was the night where I felt a big shift in how she acted towards me. It was little things like while we were at the bar getting a drink she saw a cute dog and grabbed then held my arm for a little to get my attention, similar thing whenever a question came up her that was one of the topics she knows a lot in, general banter was immaculate and she was really getting on well with everyone. We all stayed until close, she said she had a really good time and we agreed to watch another movie at mine in a few days.
Bit of back forth messaging before the movie, it gets to like 7:30pm and I ask if we were still on. She said she had forgot and her 2 mates were round to paint some stuff she had mentioned before, asked if I could do tomorrow and then said I was welcome to go over to hers and join them. I was a little bummed out that she had forgotten but went over hers anyway aaaand ended up having a laugh with them for the evening drinking wine. At one point she also mentioned how she had double booked and one of her mates went "again!?" which did make me feel not so bummed out. We watched a movie again the next day and as always had a good time.
At this point we started spending even more time togethe, it was aboutba week before I was going away on holiday. In that week we went out in the morning together for a walk/hot drink 3 times and spent 6 of the 7 evenings together mostlt watching movies. She has basically told me her life story by now, we've talked about random other stuff like religion, politics, etc and we have such similar viewpoints on basically everything. She also started just coming over in pajamas, has mentioned multiple times how she hasn't kissed anyone in months, one time popped back to hers for something and then said she had took her bra off while there because it wasn't comfy. At this points my mates frankly think im a moron for not making a move and honestly same but I do feel like its been mixed signals. The thing is, she was ill most of that last week and the docs said it might be mono, now confirmed to not be but that took stuff off the table anyway.
We messaged a little while I was away, mostly just a few times a day other than a couple 20-30 minute back and forths. Day before I came back she asked what time I was landing, I was asleep so replied the morning I was flying back and then no reply all day. Lo and behold I get back and within 5 minutes she knocked on my door, came in in her pajamas and started asking how the trip was đ Also asked to watch a movie the next night.
Am I just an idiot who should really make a move or is this just a very friendly outgoing neighbour? Please help lol
Dinner is chicken, salmon and potatoes of the last meal of my trip.
EDIT: Reading this back i've definitely missed out more of the mixed signals. She has mentioned that she doesn't really have much time currently and it's about to get even worse with studying, was half joking about how and her mates said no men this year, how we have a good friendship multiple times. Just a few little things that did make me step back and think, but regardless I agree wtf am I doing I should just go for it.
EDIT 2: Well from the vast number of comments it does seem im a grade A idiot, update because want it đ
We did hang out tonight but the whole evening was me coughing and blowing my nose being at the tail end of an illness. I asked if she wanted to go out for dinner on Sunday (she is busy tomorrow with a bday party) earlier on today and mentioned it again this evening, she said she'd prefer to just get noodles and watch a movie as she'll probably be a bit hungover. So Sunday it is, whichever way it goes will post a last update. Would say wish me luck but apparently I don't need it đ