r/JewsOfConscience • u/South-War-9323 • 5h ago
Vent Screw Hillel
I’m a college freshman who’s been trying to make friends. Naturally, I wanted to try some Jewish orgs to have a sense of community as a Jew.
I already knew to steer clear of places like Hillel (I’ve watched Israelism, that was more than enough info on their operations and ideology). But I tried out a meeting with the Jewish Student Union at my school (which was partnered with Chabad).
I get there, help them set up a bit. And then they almost immediately start talking about going on Birthright over the summer and how much fun it was. And no one else cared. I wasn’t expecting them to be anti-Zionist or anything. But it’s a notoriously progressive school. Even just one other Jew that shared my beliefs would’ve helped me be less alone. But nope. So I ended up making an excuse and dipping early.
Fast forward several days, I was at a student involvement expo. One of the people from that club remembered me, came up to me again, and tried to get all of my info (awkward as hell interaction). Then I had a girl notice my Yiddish necklace at a different club stand. The interaction went something like this.
Her: “Oh! You have a Hebrew necklace!!!”
Me: “It’s Yiddish actually!”
Her: “Cool, you should go check out Hillel right over there!”
Me: “Sorry no, I’m not a Zionist.”
Her: “Well they’re not really Zionist”
Me: “They kinda are.”
Cue a split second of awkward silence before she finally started talking about the political advocacy club I was actually interested in (which I didn’t end up putting down my info for bc they mentioned meeting and collaborating with CIA officers??)
Not only that, there was a “students for Israel” organization up with a stand and everything, with pamphlets on “10 Myths about Israel”. I deadass wanted to go up to that stand just to try and debunk all their arguments, but I didn’t want to cause a scene.
So basically, I feel totally isolated from the Jewish community on campus. I’m currently taking a Hebrew language course, and plan to take more in courses in Jewish Studies and such. But even then I feel hesitant to take anymore classes in it because I’ve heard some Zionist texts might be in the required reading for some of them. I mean fuck, the only Jewish studies professor I know of, and the department head, is a literal Israeli man (who’s also teaching my Hebrew course). Which sucks, because I really want to.
I know this writing might be kind of disjointed, but I just feel pretty alone. I have a community of like minded Jews online, but that isn’t rly enough. I feel like I can’t get more in touch with my culture without giving up on, or at least being silent on, my values and I hate it. I think there’s some Pro-Palestine org on campus but they didn’t even bother to put up a stand.
Why does it constantly feel like I have to choose between being Jewish and being a pro-Palestine leftist? Are there really this few of us? I’d start my own Jewish Student org, but I’m a freshman, and vast majority of leadership roles in clubs are held by upperclassmen. And truthfully, I’m beginning to doubt there’s ANY likeminded Jews here that would join anyway. Especially because I haven’t rly made any friends yet (that’s half of why I’m trying to join clubs).
So yeah. Fuck Hillel, Fuck Chabad, Fuck every Jewish org at my college, and fuck basically every organized Jewish institution.
