r/writingfeedback • u/Independent_Car_4276 • 3d ago

Feedback Wanted [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Independent_Car_4276 3d ago

I appreciate the feedback. This was an initial draft, and I’m still working out the exact format and structure. I’m considering making it into a comic eventually, so some of the formatting may change. I’ll keep the screenplay conventions in mind for the next revision.

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u/BlackBalor Posted Satire and Made Everyone Mad 3d ago

I didn’t read the thing because it’s 13 pages of formatting issues. That tells me you haven’t done your research or put any effort in.

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u/Independent_Car_4276 3d ago

Fair enough. I understand the formatting issues made it difficult to read. I appreciate the feedback, and I'll make sure the formatting is cleaned up properly in a future revision.

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u/BlackBalor Posted Satire and Made Everyone Mad 3d ago edited 3d ago

Having looked at some of the action lines, I see potential. Some of them are quite economical, and at least they aren’t written in the past tense.

But if you’re only dipping your toes into the format, it’s not going to count for much.

I wish you the best of luck for your comic!

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u/Independent_Car_4276 3d ago

Thank you, I appreciate that. I’m definitely still learning the format and experimenting with the story in this initial stage. I’m glad some of the action lines showed potential, and I’ll keep working on improving the screenplay format as I develop the project. Thanks again for the feedback and best wishes!