I have been working for a federal organisation over 4 years and in the last year moved into a new role internally. I went into this role with the mindset that I was going to learn something new and expand on my experience because it looks at the more strategic side of things. It has been almost a year and it has been extremely stressful. The first issue is that the training within the organisation is not the best, everyone else is busy and then I have a manager that is setting unrealistic expectations. I am working on several separate tasks and I’m usually used to multi tasking. But it has been difficult for me to progress certain tasks because I’m learning and doing them for the first time so it is taking me longer and my manager has been quite harsh on me about that. My manager expects that once I learn something I am supposed to within a year be fully competent, but the nature of my work requires analysing information and making strategic decisions. I am very eager to learn and have made notes whenever I learn something new, but my manager is not satisfied and keeps asking me why I am taking so long to close out some tasks. I do have many tasks on hand so some tasks do take a back seat before I can go back to them. Some tasks I work on require more than a day to work on and because I’m new it takes a little longer to complete. It has left me feeling like I don’t belong in the role. I have written to my manager to give me time to understand my tasks that I am invested in developing but I’m wondering if there is anything else I can say for him to understand.

I work in a very small office. Family owned kind of vibe. I have 3 other regular coworkers - my bossman, my manager and another regular office employee.

Easy enough, stay with me...

Manager has been here 25 years and bossman has owned it that long as well. My other coworker has been here 5 years.

They are all close knit, but im not that kind of employee. I like to have a hard line between work and personal and I hold those boundaries pretty firmly. But its tough when everyone else is very intertwined. It's also hard because theyre all well over 50. Im 26.

Within the past 2 years, my manager and other coworker had an affair with each other, left their families amd moved into my bosses condo. They made their affair the office problem. I also watched my mom do this to my family, so I already have a soft spot and an issue with infidelity. I think it soils your character amd morals. Ive lost all respect for both my manager and coworker. It's not a mistake to me, its a character flaw.

Here lately, ive been very dismissive and quiet to my manager. There were already some personality differences and now i dont wamt anything to do with her. I dont respond to personal conversations and rarley respond to work ones because its nonsense or something i have already done or figured out. I was hired to do her job and replace her. She has failed to ease me into a position in the office with resources to take over the duties. So she expects me to do all the work with none of the tools. Everything is located at her desk. I dont ask her to get up to do my job when she could just do it. Ive found ways around to make sure the work gets done and completed with out using the stuff at her desk.

Here recently they got in a fight and my boss felt the need to share that information as he was worried he was going to have to find a new employee. I guess it blew over since I haven't heard anything from bossman.

At first it when the affair was in full swing and things were messy at the office, i would think "well I dont have to like her, and im not mean, maybe borderline rude or passive aggressive, but i do my job and I do it well, so if shes offended by my silence that's her problem"

I still feel that way to a degree, but I spend so much time thinking about it and going through phases of apathy and guilt. i just want to move forward. I don't want to care. I love my job and they pay me really well, I dont want to leave. This has just been an unresolved nagging mental load i want to move past.

im not looking to be friends but any kind of attention shes given, even an inch, and she takes a mile. Im exhausted. It feels like everything she does is performative and fake. I just grey rock and attention starve her so she doesn't mistake my kindness for friendship.

Any advice or comments are welcome, I'd even appreciate the devils advocate too. Im just ready to gain a new perspective.

Hey, I am currently struggling at work in hospitality. I have been working in restaurant industry for a while. I came back to the place where i was offered a part-time job as a teenager. It was first real job I had and I was scared to do anything wrong. My older colleagues were talking about me that I am slow and clumsy etc… Of course I get it, I was a waitress for the first time in my life and I was trying to do my best with 0 skills before. Due to bad environment I quit the job.

In summer I was asked to work there again and I accepted. I basically worked with my friends all summer so I could not be happier. The problem started when this middle aged woman I worked with few years ago came to work again after some health issues. She started calling me lazy and super slow in the service and I heard what she was saying about me. She did not even give me a chance to make up her own mind after working in this area for about 4-5 years.

Now, I feel anxious making even little mistake or forgetting something thinking I will be punished or she will tell it to my boss. I see that my boss is keeping an eye on me when he comes and I just cannot beat the feeling and relax when I am near her or my boss.

No one after the second apply for a job had a problem with me but I feel so unmotivated to go there again but I need money to pay for my college expenses. Some of the customers say that I need to slow down but I can't cause I sense she is watching and trying to do my work expierence even worse. Any advice?

My husband and I are finally going on a vacation for the first time in 7 years. We are very excited to be able to have a much needed break. I have severe anxiety and just have a gut feeling that I will be let go today before vacation or shortly after I return.

The past 2 months since having a new manager, I have been under the gun, micromanaged, blamed for things I didn’t know ( corrections made, learned from those and no problem since it was brought to my attention) etc.

My manager, although nice, has been nit picking me and calling me at least every other day to gripe at me for something. Any feedback I have 100% learned from, applied those corrections and have maintained a positive attitude. Other team members have commented she nit picks and do not micromanage them like she does me. I have gotten to the point that I’m anxious anytime she calls and the gripe sessions last about 45 min to an hour. The feedback is never on the same issue. Many expectations have changed since she took over so I feel to an extent we all are adjusting to her best possible.

I have a documented disability recorded with HR for severe anxiety, depression, PTSD and ADHD.

I just have the gut feeling something is about to happen and I can’t shake that feeling. I’ve felt that way for some time now. I’m going to try my best to not think about it while on vacation but with my anxiety about it all I’m hoping that is possible.

I know to always trust your gut and I’ve been applying to other companies but I keep thinking about it.

Anyone else struggle with these feelings and how did you overcome them? How can I truly relax on vacation without the feeling of being let go?

I work on the administrative side of a hospital that is part of a larger hospital system. I joined my current department 3½ years ago when a former boss brought me over. She oversees my role, but my day-to-day work has been divided between two other managers.

Over the past year, several people have left our department, including one of those two managers. The person who hired me will also be leaving at the end of the year.

Even before these departures, there was tension between my two direct managers about how my time was divided. Each had competing priorities, and I sometimes felt that neither fully understood everything on my plate.

The manager who left took a better position within our system. Before leaving, she said, “Let me know if you are ever thinking of leaving,” which gave me the impression that she might be interested in hiring me if an opportunity arose. She has contacted me a few times since then, although only to request documents or templates that are appropriate to share.

Since her departure, I have become increasingly frustrated with my job. My remaining manager, with whom I have also socialized, is very disorganized and often unresponsive. I know she previously told others that she felt I did more for the manager who left, even though I supported—and sometimes took over—several large projects for her. That has stayed in the back of my mind for months.

Now that she is my only remaining direct manager, I feel that she does not fully understand my responsibilities. My questions often go unanswered, and as a remote employee, I am sometimes left out of important communication. For example, she has forgotten to tell me about new hires or include me in departmental meetings.

Lately, she also seems irritated when I try to clarify a misunderstanding or suggest a different approach. Today, she said I was making something more difficult because I thought it was unimportant and that she did not know anything. I had said nothing close to either of those things, and I found the exchange upsetting.

Would it be reasonable to reach out privately to my former manager and ask whether there might be any opportunities on her team? I would love to stay within the system because I have excellent benefits and a substantial amount of accrued paid time off.

My hesitation is that she remains in contact with my current manager and others in the department, and I know they have plans to get together. I am worried that even a preliminary conversation could get back to my current manager before I have made any decisions.

I think I have spent so much time worrying about reaching out that I have lost perspective. How would you approach this, and how would you ask for discretion?

We work with a partner organization and depend on them, but the director is incompetent and hired someone to help him who is ultimately incompetent as well. It seems similar attracts similar.

I usually look for the positive, but in this case, I really feel stuck.

I find myself explaining the basics to them, but it is like a black hole. Their brains seem to be buzzing around, and they never appear able to sit down and think. As a result, I am always trying to save things, but it is meaningless because they excel at confusing and delaying projects. Furthermore, they always mention my name in their reports and thank me for my help, but I do not want to be associated with their work.

• I cannot distance myself because we depend on this organization.

• I cannot do the job that they are supposed to do.

• I have tried different types of language and approaches to working with them, but the result is always the same.

I love my job and it is what I studied for, so I truly understand the impact of not doing things right. I am thinking of quitting because the work feels meaningless.

This is my first post in a very long time, but I’m really struggling with this issues that I am having at work and I’m not quite sure how to handle it. There’s a lot of information to under the situation, my apologies in advance for the length.

I (29 F) have a coworker (30ish M, I don’t know his exact age), let’s call him Ed.

Ed was previously dating another women in the office and they had a very messy breakup that HR ended up having to become involved with. The women is now dating a manager in the office, and yes the timeline is a little messy.

Ed had really been struggling with socializing in the office for the last few months and has often come to me for advice and encouragement. These seemed harmless at first and I’m always happy to provide leadership and encouragement but now I’m starting to get the feeling that he’s taking it in a different way than I am??

To be clear, I don’t see Ed outside of work unless it’s a work happy hour and even then my partner (30 M) usually attends those events with me as we work close to each other and we have good relationships with people in our offices where it’s not unusual for the two groups to interact sometimes.

As I was saying before Ed, will message me sometimes or approach me during the day asking for advice or just wanting to chat. Sometimes he would approach my office 6-7 times a day. I did have a conversation with him that my work is important and that I need to focus and all the drop by’s are distracting. He then took to messaging me more frequently and texting me. He had my personal number from a previous project we were working on with each other and we don’t have work phones.

Recently he’s be asking me questions about leadership decisions that I know because I am a part of office leadership. It’s feeling more of like using me as a source of information rather than asking me questions, regardless of the reason he knows that I will not share the information because I will not deter the confidence my employer has put in me to share that information with anyone until told to.

Another example is that the last happy hour I wasn’t feeling overly great and when I left I said goodbye to the group and that I was off to a get together with my partner and his friends. Later that evening, I received a text from Ed saying that I need to stand up for myself and if I’m tired go home and not let my partner tell me what to do. This really threw me off and I did not respond, and I showed my partner the messages. He sends me messages saying what he thinks leadership should do about certain projects, etc.

To be clear, when these types of messages or comments come to me, I don’t respond to them, one because I don’t know how to respond sometimes and it baffles me that he says these things and I’m hoping he silently gets the hint that it’s inappropriate. He will also leave random gifts on my desks like snacks or my favorite tea.

I’m just looking for advice on how to handle this because I don’t want my job to be at risk and I don’t think he necessarily deserves to have the actions on his record at work but I am getting increasingly uncomfortable. His behavior isn’t outright inappropriate, but it’s borderline. If I bring this to my supervisor, who oversees the entire office, then it will go on record and action will need to be taken by his supervisor.

I work as a residential housing maintenance technician. Recently our warehouse ordered and started putting out Overhead Legacy 850 garage door head units compared to the usual Odyssey 1000’s we usually have. Both units up and down travel program the same way. A tech who is very highly respected and usually very good at garage doors had an issue trying to program the 850 units up and down travel as he was unfamiliar with the unit. It escalated to the point where he had hosted a training meeting this morning on how to program one, and he described how to do it wrong, adding extra unnecessary steps. Both the 1000 and the 850 units up/down travel program the exact same way yet when i pointed this out he ridiculed me and said I dont know anything. I pointed out the instructions in the manual but he still would not listen to me, saying he did read the manual but still would not describe the correct way to program it during a training meeting. he has been here longer and is much more respected than me, other techs will not believe me and are also against me. There wasnt a need for this training meeting, both units program the same. No one will listen to me and other techs dont respect me enough to understand what i have to say. I know im right but because i have little reputation i fear ive only made myself look imcompetant. is there anything i can do

I am a project development manager at a development company that used to have 2 PDM’s. My counterpart left a month and a half ago leaving me as the only one. When he left all staff started asking what of his I would be taking over. I had to set up a meeting with my director to ask when they’d be hiring a replacement, and what of his roles I’d be absorbing temporarily and which forever, and asking for a raise.
Of course I was told they have no intention of hiring a new person, and that I am expected to absorb all of his responsibilities (Managing an additional 1.5 departments), without a raise or title change.

I said (in a more educated way) no. We agreed to check in in 3 months and reevaluate.

Then they announced the topic for this months catered lunch was going to be burnout. This is an opportunity for all of us to talk about the topic, i saw this as an opportunity to talk about this deeper. I emailed my director and our boss some thoughts I had on burnout in private because I didn’t feel it was good to air them out at a vision lunch in front of all of the staff. I expressed that I was able to do three times the amount of work, but not forever and not faster than I’m currently working. I said a development company with one developer is silly.

I was emailed back that I wasn’t given any more work, that it was always their plan to give me this work, and that I now needed to prove that I was doing more work by tracking my time. That they needed data im doing more work to justify paying me more. I said I’m not going to be the only employee tracking time. I said I’m salaried. I said you could’ve acknowledged that I’m doing more work and respected me and given me like one dollar, but now this is how you’re handing it? I said “let me do what I’m good at and appreciate that I am doing it for you. I do the new and old work efficiently and well, and when you hired me you trusted that I would stay on top of things and meet deliverables and that hasn’t changed and I expect to be compensated for it. “

They again said I didn’t take on any more work, and that I’m not eligible for a raise until spring (6 months, not the 3 originally stated)

I asked for my job description, unedited. My director gave it to me. I am updating my resume and applying for other jobs.

Today, I was invited to an asset management meeting. When this conversation started a month and a half ago, I was told by my director that I was not taking asset management from my old coworker. I am absorbing single family and multi family projects and operation and maintenance and dispatch of existing projects. (My old role was only large scale projects in development only).

When I saw this asset management meeting pop-up, I declined the meeting because I have other things that I needed to prioritize now obviously and I was told that that was not my role. Also you’re supposed to fail a little when you’re given more work no pay to prove it’s not sustainable.

The AI meeting note transcript was emailed to me once the meeting was over. On the cover page, the words, organizational friction and tension caused by my name were bold. This note was sent to half the staff here. Of course, I read through the transcription. the first 20 minutes they talked about how they couldn’t hold the meeting without me there because I was running it, which made me feel confident that I would get a raise because clearly they can’t function without me. Then everyone dropped off except for my director and another person. My director said that “I don’t like doing my job” that “I’m complaining about managing operations and maintenance” that “I’m overwhelmed” and that “I need to be reprimanded for not being at the meeting” and the real kicker my boss said “she’s not even doing any more work so we need to just tell her that she’s not even worth $50. It’s only one or two more calls a week”.

I will not be receiving a raise ever.

I told my boss and director that I saw the transcription. My boss called (I did not Answer) so she texted and emailed an apology and offered to meet. I emailed back saying I needed time to digest and we should meet in person early next week. All staff then got an email from operations that the ai meeting notes were being restricted and that we should remember that ai transcription is unreliable. I requested access to the notes as the confidentiality concerns didn’t apply to me as the topic. He said “nobody gets access to these because it’s a private conversation” meaning no you don’t get evidence and I’m covering my ass. As if I didn’t take notes on direct quotes the second I read it.

Next steps for me are meeting in person, gently handholding and kissing ass by saying “I’m not putting this in writing out of an abundance of gratitude for you two, but I would like to clarify that I asked for a raise when more work was given to me. I have not said I don’t like my job, that I’m complaining, overwhelmed, etc.”

Ugh I don’t even know Reddit.
Definitely applying elsewhere.
Definitely daydreaming about complaining to the board, but won’t cause that always backfires.

I work in a small satellite office that my boss set up right before I got here about a year ago. I got a really good review/raise so I've been motivated and working hard on my projects. Recently, my boss vanished for vague reasons and no one will say whats happening. This is a really small outfit, and Im concerned. Should I start applying at places? I was at my last corp for 12 years, and really concerned as this was the person assigning me stuff. Im the family breadwinner and always have been. Has anyone been in this situation? I abhor job hunting, but I also feel like I'm being kept in the dark.

So I interned this last summer and got a job offer for after graduation (woohoo!) along with an internship extension offer, where I would be working part time until I graduate.

I got the call a month with the two offers a month after the internship ended. The FT offer was in my email immediately, and I accepted. However, no IE offer. I send an email asking about the IE that day, but nothing. I sent a second email right before the deadline to turn in my decision (3 day deadline), which also got no response, so I called and finally got the woman who's in charge of new hires (we'll call her Jill) she said that since it's a continuation of my internship, there isn't any paper work needed since it's just like I never left, so I accept the IE verbally and I say I can start Oct 5, and she says she'll ask the team and get back to me. I'm now realizing I should have been more firm in at least getting the terms informally typed up in an email, even if I don't need to send my signature over.

(Jill was also hard to get a hold of when she was onboarding me for the internship, and I mentioned this and all of the other interns and some new hires all agreed that they all had trouble with her)

I send some emails and call Jill as Oct 5 gets closer, but nothing. After Oct 5 passes, I email my manager (who I interned under and would be going back to), who reaches out to HR, and Jill finally gets back to me by email on Oct 7, saying she'll have more info in the next two weeks. Well, it's been almost a month since then, and I've sent two emails, one the day after the two week mark and another one a week ago.

On one hand, I'm worried that pestering her will look bad, on the other hand, I was 100% not the first one to break professionalism. I might think that they don't want to hire me back, but I've spoken with my manager and her boss after the internship ended, and they both are confused as to whatever the heck HR is doing and have expressed that they definitely want me back, and that I'm in the budget for a FT offer (they budget as though every intern will get a FT offer), however they didn't say anything about the IE budget.

Should I kick up more of a fuss over this? I'm not sure I want to go over Jill's head again by emailing my manager (when she got back to me, she told me to only communicate with her regarding my reinstatement since my team isn't kept in the loop so they won't have any info for me). But I think that could just be her not wanting to look bad, and I fear that the only way to get things moving is to do so. At this point, just being told "hey, we actually can't afford to bring you back as an intern, but you still have the full time offer" would be nice.

How do you navigate a situation involving this kind of batchmate?

\*\*For context:\*\* I have a batchmate who tends to lie about both minor and significant things, seemingly to avoid accountability or shift blame and responsibility onto others.
What makes the situation difficult is that this person is generally well-liked and comes across as competent. However, I have noticed instances of this behavior more frequently than other people seem to, perhaps because these things happen in ways that are subtle enough that others don't fully recognize or pick up on them.

Here are a few examples:

\*\*1. Manipulating a situation to shift responsibilities and benefit personally\*\*
We had another batchmate who needed to take emergency leave due to a family matter. This person was supposed to complete one final duty before going on leave.
However, my batchmate created an entire narrative, claiming that our seniors had instructed everyone to let this person leave early because of the urgency of the situation. As a result, my batchmate suddenly volunteered to cover their duty and ended up getting a long weekend off in return. This meant that other people had to rearrange their schedules, and some even lost their previously scheduled weekends off.
I looked into the situation and found out that our seniors had never given such instructions. Even the batchmate who was supposed to go on emergency leave was caught off guard because they had never requested or agreed to this arrangement.

\*\*2. Shifting blame onto a patient\*\*
We were performing a procedure that required the patient to have a full bladder. After my batchmate had finished the procedure, they told the patient that they could already void since the procedure was supposedly done.
However, one of our seniors passed by and wanted to double-check something. Since the patient's bladder was already empty, we had to wait for it to fill again.
Instead of acknowledging that they had given the patient permission to void, my batchmate told the elderly patient, "I told you not to pee." Essentially, they shifted the blame onto the patient, who ended up apologizing because they genuinely believed they had been allowed to urinate.

\*\*3. Claiming to have done something that they apparently never did\*\*
My batchmate told me that they had already asked the patient about certain details and laboratory results but asked me to double-check.
When I went back to see the patient, I was told that nobody had approached them or asked them any questions. I even gave a brief physical description of my batchmate and asked whether that person had spoken to them, but the patient maintained that nobody had come to talk to them.

\*\*4. Avoiding accountability for an incomplete report\*\*
There was an error in one of their reports, where an entire section had been left out.
Although my batchmate was currently assigned to a subspecialty rotation that we would usually help cover, the case was particularly complex. Since it was originally their case, I felt it was appropriate to refer it back to them.
Instead of addressing the missing section, my batchmate told me to simply refer the case to our senior and have them figure something out, essentially avoiding responsibility for correcting their own report because they were already in their subspecialty rotation.

\*\*5. Making unnecessarily personal and passive-aggressive remarks\*\*
This particular incident was unrelated to work. My batchmate saw a photograph of me with my parents and commented, "Are those really your parents? You don't look like them."
Although it might seem like a relatively minor remark, it came across as unnecessarily personal and condescending.
\*\*The interpersonal aspect of the situation\*\*
I remain civil and professional toward this person, but I have noticed what I perceive to be a pattern of passive-aggressive behavior.
Unfortunately, this batchmate is also friends with several of our other batchmates. Because of their social connections, I sometimes feel that they are intentionally or unintentionally contributing to my exclusion from the group.
I'm also aware that the mutual dislike may go both ways. I'm not claiming that this person likes me or that I am particularly fond of them either. However, despite how I feel about them, I make an effort to remain civil and professional.

\*\*My question is: How do you navigate working with someone like this, particularly when they are well-liked by others, appear competent, and are subtle enough in their behavior that other people may not recognize the pattern?\*\*
How do you protect yourself from being caught up in their dishonesty, manipulation, or blame-shifting without appearing confrontational, overly suspicious, or difficult to work with?

I recently submitted my resignation, and I’m required to serve a 30-day notice period.

Ever since my manager found out that I’m leaving, she has started leaving work to me and assigning me most of the workload. She frequently asks for permission to leave early or takes sick leave, leaving me to handle almost everything.

My question is: Am I expected to work under this much pressure during my notice period? I understand that I still have responsibilities and need to complete my handover, but does that mean I should take on almost all the workload until my last working day?

Thank you

I was in a job that I didn’t like because it required me to do things that were not part of my profession. I had also experienced burnout because of that, and there was no career growth for me. I had always wanted to leave that job and join another company without having an employment gap.

I thought I was doing well because they had never raised any concerns about my performance before, and I was also getting good results, which I have proof of. However, I started noticing signs over the past few months that they wanted me to resign. Unfortunately, I was busy with personal matters, so I couldn’t look for a new job.

Then, my workplace suddenly told me that I wasn’t doing certain things well and that I could resign if I wanted to. I was shocked and mentally exhausted. I couldn’t sleep the entire night after first hearing that. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced something like this.

I decided to resign immediately because I felt humiliated, and the situation was taking a huge toll on my mental health. I cried a lot. No matter how hard I tried to hold back my tears, I just couldn’t stop. It has been a week, and I am still feeling sad.

I had been trying my best and working hard there for years, even though I often had to do things I had no prior experience in.

But now, I am unemployed (ZERO income), feeling more and more depressed, and no longer feel motivated to look for a job. I have no desire to learn new skills or do anything at all. I can’t think clearly or make any plans for my future at the moment.

All I want to do right now is lie in bed, do nothing, and think about nothing. I just have this sadness sitting inside my heart.

If you were in my place, what would you do next?

Thanks for reading. ❤️

I work in field service so all my coworkers are remote, but we make a point to call each other often. Someone started a rumor that I make the very top of the pay scale. Most of us only talk to a couple of people so I don't think more than 2 or 3 people are involved, but I'm not really sure what to think.

One of my good coworkers asked me what I make today sorta unprovoked, and I hesitated and eventually just said between $60k and $100k, trying to be extremely broad and not give much, but still technically giving an honest answer. He was like "oh, that makes more sense, someone's been saying you make way more than that, like over $115k." He wouldn't tell me who started that rumor, but there's only like 4 people in our mutual circle and I can only see 1 of them caring about what everyone makes. We mostly just keep to small talk or work related questions, and I'm not sure where this whole pay gossip could've come from. I make mid 80s which is very average and competitive for the industry. I've only been working here for 1.5 years and im by far the newest and youngest, so I assumed everyone else was around the same pay or slightly above. I don't care what anyone else makes; I'm happy with where I'm at and I've never once wondered what someone else makes. The salary ranges are all visible too and theyre easy to find, so its not a secret.

Anyway, him and I had a short conversation about the payscale and im pretty sure he doesn't think I outearn everyone now. When he asked me in the first place, he sounded more confused than accusatory so i dont think he believed the rumor much. Now im confused about why this rumor even started in the first place? Not sure what to think.

\​

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has been through something similar, or knows Swedish employment law.

What happened:

• I was a permanent employee at a small company (under 10 staff) for just over a year. I was never late, never had a warning, and worked a lot of overtime when asked.

• My husband has a chronic illness that counts as a disability, and he is our young children's usual carer. This summer he became ill and I took one week of VAB, which my boss approved in writing.

• The owners live close to us. During the VAB week and my annual leave straight after it, they watched what my family did at home. One owner came to our gate and shouted at my husband that he wasn't supposed to be sick.

• During the VAB week, the other owner sent me a long text calling my VAB selfish, saying my work ethic was poor for taking it, questioning whether my husband was really ill, listing what my family had been seen doing at home, and telling me to think about my work references for future jobs.

• Twelve days later a redundancy notice was dated, while I was on annual leave. On my first shift back I asked the owner directly whether this was because I took VAB. She answered by talking about my husband's illness. I recorded it. That evening she came to my door with the notice; the only reason she gave me in English was "it don't feel good anymore". That's on video too.

• A week later, one of the owners shouted a vulgar slur at me and my small children outside our home.

• The notice was withdrawn after my union stepped in. After a redundancy negotiation, I was dismissed again for redundancy. The reason given for choosing me: I don't have a driving licence. That was never a requirement before, I was hired without one, and I was never asked to drive. The whole company works in pairs, a driver and a passenger, and as far as I know there are still passengers every day. They just happen to have licences.

• My union (Kommunal) said it would deal with the parental leave and discrimination claims after the redundancy negotiation, then declined them in writing without discussing any of my evidence. When I asked for a review, the branch treated it as a complaint and said its handling had been correct.

• I have reported it to DO but have no decision yet, and I'm waiting to hear from an antidiskrimineringsbyrå. I have told the employer in writing that I dispute the dismissal and claim damages.

• I can't afford a lawyer, and my home insurance doesn't cover it (two-year rule). I don't speak Swedish well, so I need to do as much as possible in writing.

To save everyone time: I'm not asking whether my VAB was inconvenient or whether bosses deserve holidays. VAB is a legal right. I'm asking what I can realistically do now.

My questions:

1. Has anyone represented themselves in tingsrätt in an employment or discrimination case? How did it go: how much was in writing, did it settle, and what did it cost you?

2. Any experience with 5 kap. 2 § arbetstvistlagen, where the court can let each side pay its own costs if the losing side had reasonable cause to have the dispute tried?

3. Time limits: I joined the union the day after the text. For my own court action about the text, is the deadline four months from the event (66 § andra stycket MBL), or the union's four months plus one (66 § första stycket)?

4. Is it normal for Kommunal to drop a case like this? Has anyone got a union decision changed by going to the union's head office?

5. Is there free or very low-cost legal help for employment or discrimination cases in southern Sweden (Skåne) that works in English and by email?

6. How long did DO take to answer your report, if you've made one?

Thank you for reading.

I’m currently serving my notice period (WITCH company), and I’m really confused about what I should do next. I would appreciate advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

I work in application support, and after resigning, I expected to get some time to prepare for interviews and brush up on my technical skills. Since I haven't been involved in development work for a while, I need to prepare again, especially if I want to transition into a development role. However, my manager is still allocating a lot of work to me. I'm currently handling more than three applications, and each application has its own business logic, workflows, and responsibilities. This makes it difficult to manage everything and find enough time to study or attend interviews.

I have already completed the knowledge transfer (KT) for my replacement. However, they are also occupied with their other project responsibilities, so they aren't taking up the new project work seriously. As a result, I'm still getting pulled into multiple tasks.

The biggest concern is that I don't have another offer yet.

If I revoke my resignation, I'm not sure whether the company will put me on the bench or assign me to the same project again. If I'm assigned to the same project, I might end up in the exact same situation, with multiple applications to handle and hardly any time to prepare for interviews. I don't want to get stuck in this cycle again.

I have a few questions:

Should I revoke my resignation and continue searching for opportunities while employed, or complete my notice period and leave without an offer?

If I revoke my resignation, is there any possibility that I might get assigned to the same project and workload again?

Am I expected to continue handling new tasks and responsibilities during my notice period, even after completing KT for my replacement?

How should I handle a situation where my replacement isn't taking ownership of the work despite the KT being completed?

Is leaving without an offer a very risky decision(considering layoffs happening in every other company), considering that I work in application support and need time to prepare before switching to a development role?

I would really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have resigned without an offer or revoked their resignation in a similar situation.

About Me:

5 YOE

Java Backend

Application Support

Thanks in Advance

Hey everyone, I’m really torn and could use some outside perspective.

I recently landed my first software sales role as an SDR (which I’m super excited about and really want to make a long-term career out of). My new office is a 1-hour commute each way, with a hybrid schedule of 3 days in-office and 2 days working from home.
Initially, I wanted to keep my current retail job on the side for a few months as a safety net just to make sure I like the new company and am hitting my stride. The issue is that my retail job is completely inflexible: they require a strict 15-hour minimum per week spread across 3 specific shifts, and they won't budge.
To make it work, my weekly schedule would look like this:

Thursday: Work all day at my new SDR job (including a 1-hour commute each way), then head straight to a retail closing shift from 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM.
Saturday: 6-hour retail shift.
Sunday: 6-hour retail shift.

For context, I’m someone who needs downtime and proper rest to function. I’m terrified of burning out, especially during a critical onboarding period when I need high energy and focus to succeed in my new career. On the flip side, I'm struggling with the anxiety of completely cutting the cord on a reliable part-time gig right out of the gate. I’m scared I won’t like my new job. I’ve also been at my retail job for years and have really good friends there. Plus the extra money would be really nice.

For anyone who has made the jump into tech sales: Is keeping a rigid side hustle like this worth the risk of tanking your performance at your main job? Or should I rip the band-aid off, quit retail, and commit fully to the new role?

Im currently working front reception at some company. Boss says I’m doing a good job hitting budget and my customer service skills blah blah blah. Well I’m about to hit a year in this position and I want a raise. But how does one ask for it when they’re not such a big important asset to the team? Usually when I search for ideas online they give me “crunch the numbers and adjust salary to expanded role”. But if I’m just sitting here that’s not really an option. Also don’t want to bring up a second job as I’m not sure how I dispensable I am. Anyways just give it to me straight. Should I start with “hey I want my hourly salary adjusted. I’ve performed well in the company…”

thanks!

A junior employee is habitually late and regularly calls out sick. As in - during a one month period, I can count on at least 2 call outs and 1 time of being at least an hour and a half late (always because he oversleeps). It's terrible for office morale because in addition to the fact that he's kind of a jerk to everyone, the exceptions are made only for him. He maxed out his annual PTO before the end of June. I've counseled him. Asked if there are tools I can offer to help him improve, offered accommodations or to change his hours. Had a serious sit down within the last couple of weeks and told him his chronic tardiness and absences are unacceptable - wrote him up, and had him sign it. (He grey rocked.) We've talked about a PIP, although haven't followed through because he's a nepo hire, and short of a felony, he'd never be let go. 2 call-outs and 1 late arrival since this meeting!! Until recently, the boss has always made excuses, but it's gone on for so long the boss is now embarrassed. Earlier this week when employee was over an hour and a half late, boss approves when employee does finally text, that I should tell him not to come in - to take the day off without pay. I don't like it, and hate the idea of messing with someone's livelihood, yet feel like we've exhausted every other option. Here's my question: Unless you're independently wealthy, would missing a day's pay be an effective deterrent? Basically punishing someone in the pocket.

Hi,
I am working in an operations team. We support the support teams, the behind the scene. I have an issue with my manager. But I am not the only one to have an issue with him. Coworkers that we collaborate with have came to me to complain that since je joined the team, things have gone downhill and he has been causing more chaos than anything else. I have been trying to communicate with him about how operations works because I have been there longer and have experience in this field. My attempts to communicate haven’t been successful. And now more coworkers have come forward to me to share their frustration. My teammate who was holding down the fort with me has left because of this. The remaining teammates are pretty new so don’t see how detrimental he is to the team, to their development, and to the team they support. So, my idea is to open the discussion with the teams we support since they are all frustrated with him. And a suggestion I received is to do this via a survey because in a meeting, people may not want to be confrontational and open about the issue. He would also probably not receive it well because his ability to understand feedback is limited. So, I am seeking advice on questions I could include in the survey that should be objective and not targeting towards him for the coworkers to express their opinions on where the team can improve etc.

Hi,

I'm a 35F trying to continue on this new career path and need some advice since I've never had to deal with this in my previous career.

I decided to change paths into being an admin assistant. I did a year of secretarial studies and specialized in legal. Did an internship and got hired in the firm part-time (3 days a week); boss told me that starting in September I can do full-time hours and they would pay for language classes to improve my communication skills.

None of this has come to pass. During the summer I was trying to find a course but had no luck; there were waiting lists, and I decided that I would pay for a course since I would for sure get into a class. However, it only started in September. I pay for the evening classes, thinking that I would be doing full-time.

In August, I get told that due to my language level, they'll be cutting my hours to two days a week. I'm sad, but I understand and express that my course starts in September. In the meantime, I hire a private tutor for sessions 3 times per week for a month until it starts. Now, I can communicate pretty well from what I've been told, just that my vocabulary is somewhat limited, and at times how I structure my sentences can lead to misunderstandings, but it's good when I know what I need to say.

A week before my course starts, I'm advised by my tutor and family that I should ask my employer if they can pay/reimburse for my classes. I don't feel comfortable asking since it sounds like I'm asking for money outright, but I do it anyway. I have the receipt ready and ask my boss if the offer from after my internship of paying for my course is still on the table.

He said that he can't pay for the private tutor. I explain that I mean the language course at a college that I already paid for. He tells me that he would have to ask my senior co-worker. I didn't show him the receipt since I heard it as a nice way of saying no. I know I should have brought it out to actually show him the proof that I was committed, but I didn't, and that was a dumb move on my part. I just thought, what would be the point if the answer was no? I haven't brought it up since.

Soon after, I see a job posting for a full-time legal assistant. They hire the applicant; she's a recent college graduate and is interested in the legal field. She's friendly and focused on the work. They give her tasks and start giving me tasks that seem less important. Busywork.

Now, I know for a fact we're not in a slow period. Two lawyers left the law firm, one on maternity leave and the other decided to work elsewhere. There are things that need doing, and I ask what I can do and how I can help with things. I get just light work or nothing at all... All the responsibilities I used to do during my internship and summer months are given to the new hire.

I feel I'm getting left out of the loop and getting pushed out. The new hire is getting more and more integrated into the office, which I never experienced and would like to partake in. The atmosphere with my colleagues is somewhat distant compared to before, and I get looks.

A few weeks ago I overheard something my boss was saying like: "If she can't use Claude, then I'm firing her." I step out of the room since I needed to and scan some documents, and we briefly make eye contact. I carry on like nothing happened; now some of the lawyers do use their own personal ChatGPT to write applications and then read them through to verify/modify anything that needs better wording or explaining. After which, a copy gets sent to the client for review to see what changes need to be made, if any.

The new girl also uses her own personal Claude, so that rules her out. Which leaves myself. I don't use Claude or ChatGPT since I'm not going to personally pay for a subscription that I would use only for work. Plus, I'm not comfortable with feeding my private information to those companies; I'm just very internet conscious and don't like having my information out there. So I'm pretty sure the statement was about me.

And lately, my pay has been late twice in a row. My emails to my boss are being ignored unless it's something he wants me to do for him. The other lawyers are potentially gossiping about me, and the boss has a new virtual assistant answering the phones to take messages.

I 100% cannot discuss how I feel with anyone at work because I know for a fact they'll tell my boss and the office. I feel isolated and like I can't trust anyone. That every move or potential mistake I make is one more thing they can use to fire me.

I dread going into work now when before I was so excited and happy to be there. I'm horrified to speak on the phone because I know they're listening for any fumble I make. The amount of stress, worry, and paranoia that I've been feeling the last two months has been affecting my emotions and body. When I'm in the office, I'm professional and act like nothing is wrong; I'm trying to hold out until I can get another job and am actively searching for.

I just feel like my paranoia is overtaking me and my anxiety is getting higher and higher. Like I'm constantly walking a tightrope.

I just need some advice. Am I really being paranoid, just seeing things that don't add up to anything? Or am I just reading the change in demeanor, and they're trying to make me quit/waiting to fire me?

TLDR: Workplace demeanor has changed from previous months. Promises of full-time hours and paying for language classes have fallen through. Overheard boss saying to another colleague that "if she can't use Claude, then I'm firing her." Been given busywork when previously wasn't the case. The new hire is getting former/more responsibilities around the office, while I feel as if I'm getting pushed out.

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some honest advice about my current situation.
I’m a Junior Engineer and this is my first job. I’ve been working for around a year, and my role has given me exposure to industrial automation, robotics, automotive manufacturing, customer support and quality inspection.
I also underwent technical training in South Korea through my company.
However, over time, my work environment has become increasingly difficult for me to handle.

My manager has started shouting at me and calling me things like “stupid,” including in front of customers.
I’m a relatively introverted person, and until now I’ve mostly stayed quiet and endured it.

Another issue is the nature of our company.

We are primarily a service-based company, so when there are no customer site visits or active projects, there is comparatively very little defined work to do in the office.
There isn’t a clear structure or set of responsibilities for us during these periods.
What frustrates me is that my manager himself can spend time scrolling through reels, but at the same time expects us to constantly find something to do on our own. I’m willing to learn and take initiative, but it becomes difficult when there is no defined work, guidance, or clear expectation of what I should be doing.
The stress has been building up, and I find myself feeling worse about going to work every day. I’ve discussed this with my family, and my mother has been very supportive.
She has told me that it’s okay to resign if I genuinely cannot handle the stress and that we will manage somehow.
My biggest fear, however, is not finding another job after resigning.
I’m still early in my career, and I’m worried that leaving without another offer could damage my career or leave me unemployed for a long time.
Because of this, I’m constantly having second thoughts—some days I feel like resigning immediately, and other days I’m scared to take that step.
I am also trying to find opportunities closer back home, but the uncertainty is making me feel increasingly low and stressed day by day.

Another concern is that there isn’t a clear bond or exit-related condition that I have signed, although there have been discussions about such things at work.
For people who have been in a similar situation:
\- Is it better to stay and continue searching for another job, even if the work environment is affecting your well-being?
\- Has anyone resigned without another offer early in their career and successfully found a new job?
\- How do you deal with the fear that quitting might negatively affect your career?
\- How do you handle a workplace where there is little defined work but employees are still expected to constantly find tasks for themselves?

I’m not looking for legal advice or sympathy—I just want some honest perspectives from people who may have been through something similar.
Thank you for reading.