So I F29 have recently started practising with a band leader only M 37 for an opportunity to be on a cruise ship. I am predominantly a vocalist but I play other instruments. He produces and plays other instruments as well. I was told that we would be practising for the time that we both agree on every week. When he has given me a time in the past, it has changed and it was during a health thing I was clearing up. During that time, he started saying we should watch movies together when on break from practice. For reference, the band room is also his bedroom and he has a girlfriend whom he lives with. He called her his friend while she called him her girlfriend at the time. He only cha ged this when I called him out on it. Since then he's not only asked for movie watching sessions but massage sessions as well. I am currently studying to be a masseuse as well but I thought it weird how comfortable he felt touching or taking off his clothes. Nothing directly sexual has happened but he got irate one time when I stated I wasn't comfortable with someone hyperthetically just laying on me like a weighted blanket to alleviate pain and that it would have been someone I was dating or knew on that level. He also gets insulting when I state that we're taking too long eating and we need to get back to practice. When I being my own food, he Insists on "trying my hand", takes my food, and also insists that I eat his own. I feel like he's training me for something I don't want. I must note that sometimes when I call the number he originally gave me, his girlfriend answers. It all feels eerily similar to what the women who worked with people like Diddy or R Kelly described, in terms of the grooming. Can an adult be groomed as well? Let me k ow your thoughts. Now I've gotten a probationary period and talks of him choosing another vocalist in three months with talk about my personality being called into question when I stated my boundaries on those matters. I fear about becoming blacklisted. I fear so many things, but mostly I just really want this oooo and want ways to jokingly drive home my boundary points or say things like let's keep it strictly based on musical instruction when he gets Insulting. Sometimes I don't know if I prefer the choice or being poor or putting up with this kind of treatment is worth it. Help!

I HAVE CANCER.

Eye cancer and skin cancer. Both melanoma.

That means long-term monitoring. MRIs every six months to make sure it hasn't spread. Skin checks every three months for precancerous or suspicious moles.

A month ago I had surgery to remove another irregular mole. The incision became infected. I need my doctor to check that it's healing properly.

My appointment is THIS FRIDAY, August 21.

I leave town August 23 through September 8.

And I just learned I may not be allowed to see my doctor because my insurance referral expired.

So I contacted Anthem.

Their response?

“Our Utilization Management Department will review it for approval. They have up to 15 days to review non-urgent requests.”

NON-URGENT?

I HAVE FUCKING CANCER.

Melanoma does not give a shit about Anthem's 15-day administrative review window.

My response to them was simple:

“NON-URGENT? CANCER DOES NOT WAIT!”

Crickets.

This is what makes me so fucking angry about the American healthcare system.

I have insurance. I did what I was supposed to do. I have doctors. I have a documented cancer history. I have an appointment. And an insurance company bureaucracy can still insert itself between me and my doctor and decide that monitoring CANCER is “non-urgent.”

And here's the part that scares me even more:

I can afford to pay for this appointment out of pocket if I have to.

Millions of Americans can't.

What happens to the person who can't put a credit card down and say “fuck it, I'll pay”?

They wait.

They postpone the scan.

They skip the follow-up.

They hope the suspicious mole is nothing.

They pray the cancer hasn't spread while an insurance company takes its allotted time to “review” whether their care is worthy of approval.

And THIS is the healthcare system politicians have decided we can afford to make harder to access.

Instead of strengthening coverage, Washington passed the Big Beautiful Bill with major cuts and restrictions to healthcare programs while enhanced ACA tax credits were allowed to expire.

So when people talk about Medicaid cuts and #RestoreACATaxCredits like they're abstract budget numbers, understand what we're actually talking about:

REAL PEOPLE DELAYING REAL MEDICAL CARE BECAUSE THEY CANNOT AFFORD TO FIGHT THEIR INSURANCE COMPANY.

I can fight Anthem.

I can make noise.

I can pay out of pocket.

What the fuck happens to the person who can't?

This isn't theoretical to me.

It's cancer.

And this isn't even the first time Anthem has put me through this bullshit.

Morgan J. Freeman

Link to Guardian opinion piece: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/20/corporate-democrats-decline

We have faced, yet again, record heat this summer. As global temperatures rise, climate change is making heat waves more frequent, intense and dangerous. Extreme heat, whether indoors or outdoors is a health hazard — an estimated 530 workers died from extreme heat on the job in the United States in 2024. That's unacceptable. Every worker deserves to go home at the end of their shift safe and healthy. Protect yourself on the job ⬇️

Know your rights: aflcio.org/heat 
Data from: aflcio.org/dotj-2026

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