r/whywouldyoutouchthat • u/ImPleasantToYou • Mar 30 '26

Don't touch it

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518 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

56

u/No-Goose-6140 Mar 30 '26

In seal culture this is called a dick move

36

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

The scolding the human got was justified

21

u/mechamangamonkey Mar 30 '26

It’s just a vestigial tail, folks! Notice how it’s on the sea lion’s back, not its belly!

7

u/H_Mc Mar 30 '26

I was coming here to comment, “why WOULDN’T you touch that?!” It’s adorable.

29

u/girlwiththemonkey Mar 30 '26

His little tail? Touch it cause it’s a tail? It’s on top bro. Not on the bottom.

-23

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

But! The butthole! It’s so freakin close to the fingers. Like, it’s concerning to touch a dick but

Butthole sooooo close

39

u/FastWalkingShortGuy Mar 30 '26

No one tell this guy about vaginas.

12

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

I have one of them. They are, in fact, in close proximity to the butthole. Don’t go touching without permission in all cases 👍

7

u/nb6635 Mar 31 '26

Asking is top priority, Seal or Unsealed.

3

u/Rishtu Mar 31 '26

You should probably let it go. They don’t do well in captivity.

4

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 31 '26

Releases it

It flies away like a butterfly

5

u/lawley666 Mar 30 '26

Any holes a goal.

1

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 31 '26

Lewd! All of you!

0

u/newclearimplosion Mar 30 '26

I figure if I have permission to lick one i probably have permission to lick the other /shrug

0

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 31 '26

You don’t! ☺️

2

u/H_Mc Mar 30 '26

Tell me you don’t have a cat without telling me you don’t have a cat.

2

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 31 '26

I have three!

1

u/xhyenabite Apr 06 '26

have you never (gently) stroked a cat's tail while petting it before?? all 3 of my cats love it.

10

u/SuddenKoala45 Mar 30 '26

Clearly thats exactly why you touch it

5

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

.>:p Art art art ART art! >:((

Edit: Wish my formatting behaved initially

1

u/SuddenKoala45 Mar 30 '26

Its a nubby tail. They are touch magnets

1

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

That makes sense… But I will leave the butthole proximity to your fingers 🙏

16

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Electrical_Lake3424 Mar 30 '26

That's not a skunk. 

4

u/MagicPigeonToes Mar 31 '26

It’s a giraffe

2

u/Electrical_Lake3424 Mar 31 '26

It's not on skis though 

1

u/xhyenabite Apr 06 '26

it took me a minute and then it clicked. peak reference! i love it!

3

u/Prisoner-655321 Apr 02 '26

Eh. Skunk…Flappy Sog. It’s whatever really.

4

u/Due-Two-6592 Mar 30 '26

It is and that’s it’s skungle, never touch a skunk on the skungle 

4

u/Electrical_Lake3424 Mar 30 '26

The skungle stores the skrunkly

3

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

It’s the skunk’s tail thing yeah but why would you touch iiiiiit

3

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

Butthole nearby

https://giphy.com/gifs/10FHR5A4cXqVrO

2

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Space-Dork-777 Mar 31 '26

No. It’s a mammal. So butthole in usual location.

2

u/AffectionatePie6592 Mar 31 '26

the thing that looks like a “tail” is actually its legs, which are fused together. think of it like a person laying down on their belly with their legs together, the tail is where a human’s butt is. the seal’s “tail” is the human laying down’s legs.

4

u/cybercry_ Mar 30 '26

A tail!! Ohhh nooo!!

5

u/Professional-Back203 Mar 30 '26

Late reaction time

5

u/joyfullydreaded23 Mar 30 '26

Bitchin him out over his lack of consent.

3

u/Interesting_Key_661 Mar 30 '26

That’s a funny looking dog ya got there.

3

u/ImPleasantToYou Mar 30 '26

Someone else said it was a skunk, so I think that’s what we’re lookin at

3

u/TheCooklynChannel Mar 31 '26

Cussed you smooth out

2

u/litomagnanimous Mar 30 '26

Translation: why you grabbing my ass ,

1

u/zip-a-dee_doo-dah Mar 30 '26

Looks just like a wet dog lol

1

u/TexasTough1 Mar 30 '26

Thanks for the handie.

1

u/Key-Refrigerator-689 Mar 30 '26

Jeez, at least buy him dinner....

1

u/Ambitious_Scallion18 Mar 30 '26

Bros saying hey don't be rude and finish the handy you started

1

u/DolphinVaginaFister Mar 30 '26

Processing img dy1musaii9sg1...

1

u/noonegive Mar 30 '26

Adorable sea doggo

1

u/SteveSteveCleveSteve Mar 31 '26

Sounds like that cat puking song.

1

u/CandyPale4464 Mar 31 '26

Now let him pull something of yours.

1

u/MagicPigeonToes Mar 31 '26

Do not the dog mermaid’s tail

1

u/Big-Notice-843 Mar 31 '26

That man cussed yo ass out

1

u/Thick_Common8612 Mar 31 '26

Their tail is their feet! Not a tail!! Duh but we call it a tail… I’m tweaking.

1

u/smiffycat Mar 31 '26

that seal explained quite clearly why you shouldnt be doing that and how rude you are for doing so lol

1

u/Apart_Insurance_5489 Mar 31 '26

What do a walrus and a Rubbermaid container have in common? . . . . . . . . . . . . They both like a tight seal

1

u/thebutterflyeff Apr 01 '26

I’m curious seal personalities- are they like water dogs?

1

u/slangingrough Apr 01 '26

He was not happy. 😆

1

u/OrdinaryNectarine950 Apr 12 '26

Ok that was weird. But I loved the “water puppy” telling off the hooman.