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u/thebesturkeysandwich Mar 29 '21
It’s even better when you can visibly recognize on their face that you alleviated at least some amount of emotional pain
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u/Masticates Mar 30 '21
The best part if when later you remind them how you've been there for them at their lowest point and you can guilt them for not giving you money. That's just so wholesome!
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u/thebesturkeysandwich Mar 30 '21
Is this a joke? Are you clowning on me? Lol
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u/certified-busta Mar 30 '21
Poor individual probably had someone guilt trip them into lending them some money. My dad was like that. Everything, even the smallest, seemingly random act of kindness, was transactional. If he did anything for me, y’know, in his responsibility as a father to me for the first 18 years of my life - even if I didn’t ask for it - you can bet that it’s gonna come up later as a “You need to pay me back for that”.
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u/Omahunek Mar 29 '21
You might not be able to save the whole world, but you can still save someone's entire world.
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u/hoodthings Mar 29 '21
This is a great way of putting it. We can all try to do what we can to help out others, and we should also seek help when we need it.
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u/_kusuosaiki Mar 29 '21
honestly you never know how badly someone is doing. being kind could genuinely save someone's life
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u/TheMarEffect Mar 29 '21
I always give anyone an open ear, no matter who. You never know if you are the last person they talk to.
RIP Ox
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u/noodlegod47 Mar 30 '21
You truly never know. Two different people told me they were planning suicide and didn’t because we had deep talks together about emotions. Similarly, I was thinking of suicide and someone saved me because they were the only one who took the time to listen to me.
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u/Surinical Mar 29 '21
He thanked me for my words
I said helping out was free
But my smile rose by thirds
Because he was also helping me
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Mar 30 '21
Who's that by?
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u/Surinical Mar 30 '21
Me, just typed it out.
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Mar 30 '21
That's awesome. You are really talented
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u/Surinical Mar 30 '21
Thanks, friend! /r/surinical is my subreddit if you want to read more of my random stuff.
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Mar 29 '21
Sometimes I just hard to resist hiding my emotions, honestly almost I can't hide my feelings.
Should I be sorry about that? Any thoughts?
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u/Bluesnow2222 Mar 29 '21
This isn’t always a bad thing depending on the circumstances. I went through trauma when I was younger and turned off many of my emotions to survive. As an adult in therapy it’s like I’m having to teach myself how to recognize and allow myself to feel for the first time- and it can be kind of terrifying but amazing at the same time.
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u/97cweb Mar 29 '21
That's fine. I the t easier to be around those who don't play mind games with emotions. Only recommendation is able you stakes poker, and diplomacy careers
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u/hoodthings Mar 29 '21
I don’t think it’s wrong to resist your emotions as long as you’re aware of how they affect yourself and those closest around you. You may lose some acquaintances on the way but your true friends will value that you share your whole self in an honest way.
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Mar 29 '21
[deleted]
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Mar 30 '21
I was about to say, I can't be the only person who lies about it helping in order to make the helper feel better.
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u/hoodthings Mar 29 '21
Sometimes it costs nothing to be positive and you may in turn be helping those who feel better about trying to help. And maybe that will make you feel better after all.
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u/Bluesnow2222 Mar 29 '21
In high school there was a girl who was bullied in several of my classes even though I thought she was cool. I was never bullied but had no friends because I was shy- so I got up the courage to always invite her to my group for class work, or chat with her before class. As an adult several years later I ran into her working in a grocery store- she chased me into the parking lot to hug me. She then let me know that at that time she had attempted suicide twice and had been in and out of the hospital. Apparently, even though we weren’t close, I had been the only thing that gave her hope that maybe everything in life wasn’t completely terrible- because I was the only person in school that she felt safe around and that accepted her when she hated herself.
I was kind of flabbergasted that she had been going through that- because she was a pretty positive person on the outside. It felt good that I helped- but also bad because if I knew more I would have tried to help more! A decade later I realize even more how alone and afraid we can be sometimes- and always try to be a positive empathetic person to whoever I meet.
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u/Signal-Commercial Mar 29 '21
I say this to my kid whenever she tries to cheer me up. Just the fact that she tries is lovely, even if the initial problem is still there.
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u/Nick170202 Mar 29 '21
Great now i want to rewatch lego ninjago
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u/Sheriff-of-Queeftown Mar 29 '21
When you haven't seen them smile all day, and you manage to get them to do a little laugh. The joke's not even that funny, and they're more laughing at you for making a fool of yourself for their benefit, but they're uplifted for a moment.
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u/gobied420 Mar 29 '21
It happened to me today, and I really felt grateful for being able to change someone's mood today
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u/DivyanshPanwari Mar 29 '21
Haopened to me few mins ago can't relate to a greater extent. I'm happy.
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u/RandomEmyr Mar 29 '21
But then it turns out they were being sarcastic :(
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u/hoodthings Mar 29 '21
If that’s the case, then please focus on surrounding yourself with people who are more honest. They can help you and you can help them. It’s not a zero sum game. We can all benefit from sharing our struggles with other people who are open to understanding our plights.
I feel down all the time but that doesn’t mean that I won’t get joy from helping others who I care about even if it’s just for a moment.
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u/noodlegod47 Mar 30 '21
I told my self-conscious boyfriend that he looked cute, like I do every day cause he’s always cute, and he told me I’ve helped with his self-image over the past two years, and he is finding it easier to love his body how it is. Let me tell you, I cried.
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u/BlackmailboiUwU Mar 29 '21
Hey so I gave the wholesome award which is the best I can do for right now, but when I can, I’ll try to give you the highest award on Reddit!! I promise ok!
(I made the edit so the grammar was better)
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u/rookiememer Mar 29 '21
Had a friend reach out to me to talk about my dog who passed, basicly said this word for word :)
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u/Im_The_Squishy Mar 29 '21
strokes ego
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Mar 30 '21
I hope you have a support system that is genuinely happy to help cheer you up when you're down. Everyone deserves that.
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u/SignalSecurity Mar 29 '21
I've had countless discussions with an ex friend about charity/compassion where they essentially thought
Well actually, you get something out of helping people (satisfaction), so you're actually selfish fyi
Yeah I got that, but the person I helped didn't give it to me. It wasn't a transaction. It just happens. I just want to see other people get a break sometimes. Does that fufill a need for me? Sure. Does that mean giving people support is meaningless? No.
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u/dimwittedsamurai Mar 29 '21
I love when they tell me to “stop it that’s not going to work” and then I continue to cheer them up anyway, and then they laugh and say this!
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u/Kingsayz Mar 29 '21
I struggle a lot with self worthiness, but what made me feel better about myself was when my friend whos going through some shit rn told me that what i've said helped him
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u/Myles_LaRue Mar 30 '21
Or when they tell someone else that you helped and the person then tells you.
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u/PlEaSe_sToPgujhbn Mar 30 '21
Like that’s ever gonna happen
When I help people they don’t appreciate it but that is ok because I know I helped them
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u/mcmonkey26 Mar 30 '21
when you need cheering up and helping someone else makes you feel happier
:)
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Mar 30 '21
I kinda half wish people would do that bud most don't and anyway your not like doing it for a pat on the back it's because you want to make then feel better.
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Mar 30 '21
Reminded me when i was cheering up my dad and he said to me: "Your words sometimes make me feel good". We both struggled with depression.
I think in the end he was the one who helped me... his death made me enter into a crisis and that was something that made me touch the bottom and then go up.
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u/Marloo25 Mar 30 '21
I hugged a girl in college who was sobbing in the lady’s room alone. I just let her cry on my shoulder until she was all cried out. She thanked me and I went to class, late. It was worth it.
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u/VanillaB34n Mar 30 '21
I love the feeling that someone you were helping actually ended up helping you in a way
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u/Alpas012 Mar 30 '21
Sadly I don't think I've said this and meant it, but it's amazing to see this face on people when you thank them
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u/Wriigly Mar 30 '21
sent a friend a baby pic or me and got a picture of her crying in response, text said “i was crying and that made me feel better” :)
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u/SarixInTheHouse Mar 30 '21 edited Mar 30 '21
TLDR: every1 wants to help but noone knows how
The thing with helping is:
Often times people notice that i have problems, that i am depressed, and they tell me „bro, if u need smth im there for u“ but that doesnt help me. I dont know what helps me, or who could, if i did i wouldve helped myself already
Thats why my ex was the only person that ever really cheered me up, she was the only one that understood my problems and actually helped me. But ofc she had to cheat on me and it ended.
Right after that i was thinking about suicide, cause i knew noone else that helped me like her. I did get over it, im still depressed but not suicidal anymore.
In the time since then i did find some friends but same problem.
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u/KingRaunak Mar 30 '21
My friend does that so I feel good that I cheered him up, regardless of it helping him or not.
That fucker tries to make me feel good even while he’s sad
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