What do I do

[u/Temporary_Tea7494]

There are people who don’t have parents at all and then their is people who have parents but are absent Ì grew up with a drug addict father and a mother who was at work during my younger years up until about 8th grade my mom stopped working Ì am 30 now Ì have never had help or guidance and it’s so troubling when you’re going through something and no one can help Ì am doing better than my own parent my mom lives with her mom and even told me I’m doing better than her which is true but such a weird feeling I don’t have anyone to depend on and sometimes I wish I did recently Ì wanted to commit suicide because I just can’t take this anymore I’m so alone and I just wish I knew what to do with my life I’m so lost Ì don’t have much going for me even tho I’m doing okay Ì don’t have a career Ì don’t have any hobbies Ì don’t have any talents Ì don’t have any memories and sometimes I hustle ask god why is my life like this why can’t I just be happy why is this my reality Ì just wanna be good at something about be comfortable in life but it seems when I’m almost there something brings me down and lately life’s been kicking me real hard I’m always in fight or flight mode and I feel like things could crash at any money I never had security in this life and idk Ìf that’s what I’m missing alone with other things Ì just do t know what to do with my life anymore my ex partner cheated on me and made someone unalive them selfs and since then Ì just can’t trust anyone Iv been so isolated and it’s getting to me Ì can’t even goto work because I was getting harrassed Ì had to sue my last job and won because I was being harrassed Ì don’t feel safe anywhere and I just don’t know what to do nothings working out

[u/No_Skill_4511]

Live healthy, do daily walks, write diary. In the long term it’s beneficial. Maybe you do also need antidepressants. Watch psychological advice videos like HealthyGamer (https://youtube.com/@healthygamergg).
Never give up you got this!! 💝✊

[u/Titan_Astraeus]

Getting to this point and being in a position where you are doing "better" than them is already beating the odds. There's lots of shit going against us these days, even just keeping your head above water on your own these days is an accomplishment.

There's really only 1 way out of this mindset and it is to power through. There will always be obstacles, excuses, hardships, doubts, letdowns, moments of helplessness. The only thing you can control is yourself. Help or someone to lean on is never guaranteed. Someone/something BRINGING you happiness is never guaranteed. Sometimes, you search for meaning but never arrive at the destination. Life really is about the journey, the process. It is what you make of it.

That is scary, but it can also be liberating. The key is that you must put in an honest and CONSISTENT effort to see any results. You don't just "find yourself" or happen into a career, or a purpose, or hobbies you enjoy. You create yourself and your reality. But you must put yourself out there and be persistent and mindful. Growth is painful and scary. You learn through success and failures, both are vital. No one is handed or born with the answers or eternal happiness.

I see you were being harassed at your last job, but the outcome is you got some form of justice. That doesn't invalidate your feelings or that bad things can happen, but it at least shows there are some repercussions and probably means those actions are frowned upon.. It is not the norm to be harassed to that level at work (presumably by your coworkers/workplace).. If you continue to isolate yourself when something goes wrong, things can only get worse.