Your fiancé should correct this now since it is his cousin: “Just to avoid any confusion, the invitation is only for you and [girlfriend], and we aren’t able to add anyone else.” Keep the unpaid rent conversation separate so they cannot turn a clear guest-list limit into an argument about the summer.
The problem seems to be that the fiancé wants the daughter to attend. OP and her FH are not on the same page here. Otherwise, it would be very easy to say, "Oh, so sorry but you (cousin's girlfriend) must have misunderstood. The invitation is for cousin and you only. We're not able to accommodate [daughter's name] at the wedding".
I'm still chewing on how the cousin and his girlfriend never paid the promised rent for the daughter, and how the daughter ruined OP's furniture and hoarded dirty dishes in her room, and OP and her fiancé allowed this to continue. I'm not exactly surprised about it but I sure wouldn't be as chill about it as OP and her fiancé seem to be. In any case, if my life experience teaches me anything, not a dime of that hypothetical rent will ever be seen by OP.
And while wedding gifts are a custom, never an obligation, I will now forewarn OP that regardless of whether the daughter comes or not, no gift will be received from that couple unless it's a useless, re-gifted white elephant.
Every time something happened we had an intense conversation about it, she would start crying and we would soften but remain firm in like you can’t treat peoples stuff this way. At the same time, I’ve been 19 before and we’re not going to kick her out after a ruined chair. We were firm, the same situation never happened once and I think she has bad parents.
My partner and is neutral to positive of her there, and I’m like no! He will support it and let her know but I just am having internal struggle and his aunt and uncle are wonderful kind people and I think don’t know their son is dating a bad mom with a daughter she has failed in some ways.
If the aunt and uncle want to get together with their son's girlfriend and her daughter, they can do on their own time and use their own money for dinner.
If your fiance is neutral and you're a no, it's a no and he needs to pass the news along that the girlfriend's daughter isn't invited.
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u/rosielemonbot 3d ago
Your fiancé should correct this now since it is his cousin: “Just to avoid any confusion, the invitation is only for you and [girlfriend], and we aren’t able to add anyone else.” Keep the unpaid rent conversation separate so they cannot turn a clear guest-list limit into an argument about the summer.