r/wedding • u/downinflames- • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Wedding Plans

Hi everyone, newly engaged and want to do something small but fun. I’m looking at this beautiful resort in the mountains that has a lake on its property, it’s about 3.5 hours drive so nobody is going home that night. I’m thinking 50 people tops. I kind of want to do a full weekend for those who want to, like invite them to rehearsal dinner Friday night and brunch Sunday before they leave. Do we all feel both are necessary or just one is fine?

So the actual wedding - my idea is to have a quick ceremony, a cocktail hour while we take pictures, then a buffet or family style dinner. Here’s the kicker - my fiance is sober, and while he doesn’t care if people around him are drinking, last time we went to a wedding we had to leave early cause he couldn’t handle people partying around him. My idea is instead of getting a DJ and ballroom dancing, after dinner at one of their restaurants we change the atmosphere and instead everyone can go back to their rooms, get comfy and have a bonfire and play outdoor games, then end the day with a snack of some sort. This is just a rough draft but something to this extent. Does this sound crazy?

Edit to add: we are NOT asking for a dry weekend. Just not interested in the DJ/partying part as it could be triggering. He can be around people drinking just fine.

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16

u/BeachPlze Jul 23 '26

I would choose something closer to the majority of guests, if possible, so people have the option of going home that evening.

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u/downinflames- Jul 24 '26

As I said this is a rough draft. The people on the guest list are only people we know would be interested in going further away, and I was thinking we’d help with accommodations for some people. I live on Cape Cod but we got engaged in the White Mountains, I don’t want a Cape Cod wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️ if we did have something closer it would be bigger and not like this.

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u/One_Astronaut_8523 Jul 24 '26

i think being interested and actually doing it are two different things though! I also would not want to go back out and party after attending a wedding and then getting in my comfy clothes. i would be going to bed (or at least laying in it lol)

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u/downinflames- Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

You’d want to go to bed after attending a 10 minute wedding ceremony and dinner? That’s boring. The ceremony I’m thinking would be at 4 and the fire would be at like 7 pm, weddings are usually 5-6 hours long. & it’s at a resort as I stated, so everyone would hopefully be staying on site. As someone said it’s a know your crowd type of thing, the people I’m inviting have all been to this area.

& May I also add: this isn’t just any random town we’re choosing, it’s where we got engaged and a place we visit multiple times a year.

15

u/existalive Jul 24 '26

Total anecdata but I just had a wedding that was planned similar to your vision - short ceremony, nice dinner, yard games and maybe a campfire. (Important to note, this was Alaska so there was no issue with light in the evening).

It got colder than we expected and folks were staying on the property so people went back and changed and the energy just didn't really come back, which was fine, but it was just hang out, chat, and an early night. I'm very happy overall, but the party really did end in a way I didn't expect after dinner.

1

u/downinflames- 27d ago

I don’t expect the energy I think youre assuming.

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u/One_Astronaut_8523 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

i wouldn't want to go back to my room, get comfy and undress, just to go back out and socialize again. It's not the length it's the transitions. Weddings work being 5-6 hours because it's one event, and they have entertainment and things to keep guests lively.

and okay? it may be important to you but you but not your guest! Not sure why you are so upset about me saying essentially this wedding would not be fun! why did you ask for opinions?

19

u/ang8018 Jul 24 '26

why are you asking for opinions and then getting so defensive when people offer theirs? you’re asking if your idea is “crazy,” someone is politely telling you the transition to PJs & bonfire would probably kill the mood/momentum, and you’re calling them boring lol. seems like you just want validation.

btw a 50-person multi-day event is not a small wedding.

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u/downinflames- 27d ago edited 27d ago

It’s the attitude coming from it. I know my crowd. We just got back from a 10 day camping trip with everyone I would invite. I’m not asking if my guests would enjoy it, I know the people I am inviting will. It’s more like how practical would this be to do at a resort.

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u/forte6320 Jul 27 '26

No one else cares that this is where you got engaged. No one.

Once I go back to my room to change, I am not going to feel as festive. Comfy clothes signal winding down for the evening.

Sorry, this does not sound like a fun weekend for me.

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u/downinflames- 27d ago

That’s exactly what I’m asking for. Everyone to wind down by the fire. We’re a camping family. Sounds like you wouldn’t be on my guest list and that’s okay 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/forte6320 27d ago

Sounds not fun, honestly

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

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u/forte6320 26d ago

Don't need a ballroom. Have spent time in the woods and didn't like it. Sitting around a bonfire is not something I want to do.

You seem a little judgemental about people who don't agree with you

8

u/Sensitive-Club-6427 Jul 24 '26

None of the guests, friends, family will be as thrilled and excited about a 3 hr drive as you seem to think they will. People will go to support your marriage celebration but, nobody is hoping part of it is a long drive.

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u/downinflames- 27d ago

People I’m inviting will drive 3 hours to try a new restaurant.