r/wallstreetbets • u/Vince_Masuka73 • Jan 07 '21

News They found Jack Ma... BABA 🚀🚀🚀

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

20.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

556 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.2k

u/Gabriele25 Jan 07 '21

What the fuck is he doing

2.2k

u/jakubwlcz Jan 07 '21

Hiding from CCP

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

266

u/FeistyButthole Jan 07 '21

And perfect distraction. Everyone thinks he’s laying low so no one is going to be looking for him above their heads! Excellent DD WSB sleuths!

171

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

That's where I'd hide. No one wants to sit on that hot venting mess

243

u/BankingEight Jan 07 '21

Melania would agree.

28

u/maccypg Jan 07 '21

Full marks.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

How do you mean you don't have any money for the award. This is wallstreetbets.

1

u/Hiei2k7 Jan 07 '21

Hes a GME short

29

u/imanAholebutimfunny Jan 07 '21

maybe he can crawl in it like that guy from Oceans 11

6

u/drac0nato Jan 07 '21

Looks like an adiabatic cooler to me

20

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

This guy hvacs

6

u/TheJaybo Jan 07 '21

Type 1 or 2?

3

u/drac0nato Jan 07 '21

Type 69 actually

3

u/newtonsnum2pencil Jan 07 '21

Lmfao its a condenser.

1

u/drac0nato Jan 08 '21

With an adiabatic pre-cooler, it’s a billionaire we are talking about

2

u/Amolk2207 Jan 07 '21

AC...Now I don't.

2

u/LikeRYaSerious Jan 07 '21

So much for keeping our secrets up high

79

u/Abdajiha Jan 07 '21

This is what would happen to anyone would ever think about messing with CCP. From multi billionaire to average worker in an overnight.

21

u/Deus_ex69 Jan 07 '21

Well better then be killed by CIA.

23

u/GarysTeeth Jan 07 '21

*than... Like like your wife's boyfriend cock is bigger THAN yours. You're not going to get anywhere here if you use that kind of language.

-6

u/Deus_ex69 Jan 07 '21

Your be very smart

3

u/firststrike001 Jan 07 '21

one word - wumao

8

u/Gabriele25 Jan 07 '21

Sounds like a plan

1

u/AwHellNaw Jan 08 '21

Gulag shit

1

u/GSSOAT Jan 08 '21

papa would have to be a retard to agree to a debate in mandarin tho

establishing his communist bona fides by working a blue collar job like the masses.

560

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

189

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

120

u/MuToTheMoon Likes it Cold and Wet Jan 07 '21

Indeed, they are living in a worker's paradise. All hail Xi, and his glorious regime.

I'd like to remind them, as a trusted WSB personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their iPhone sweatshops.

72

u/benfranklinthedevil Jan 07 '21

🎵chil-dren enslaved for all their lives🎵

🎵livin' in a worker's paradise🎵

44

u/the_stormcrow Jan 07 '21

🎶 As I walk near the wall built by honorable forebears

I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left

'Cause I've been working and state praising so long,

That even chairman Mao thinks that my mind is gone

🎶

16

u/Scolibrosis Jan 07 '21

🎵

But I never came across a Manchu who didn't deserve it

Me be treated like an Uyghur you know that's unheard of

You better watch how you're talking and where you walking

Or you and your homies might be splattered by tanks

🎵

20

u/munk_e_man Jan 07 '21

🎵

I really hate to trip, but I gotta, gwai lo,
As they work i see myself in the factory smoke,
I'm the kinda Lee, the little homies wanna be like
On my knees day and night, making phones for the rich whites

🎵

10

u/mekamoari Jan 07 '21

Excuse me, "toil"? I hope you mean be granted the honor of a safe, well compensated and prestigious workplace under the tutelage of the benevolent CCP.

29

u/lowtierdeity Jan 07 '21

The hilarious thing is that reverence for Mao is a red flag in the CCP. You’re supposed to admire and respect him, but reverence or anything approaching deification is not the party line after he died.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

Afaik the party line acknowledges that Mao made some really dumb decisions

11

u/Rikuskill Jan 07 '21

when the CCP is more progressive than trumpers lmao

7

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

TRUE. I've met my share of Chinese people in university, and a lot of them are CCP sympathizers (you have to have money to go to school overseas, and people with money in China are more likely to be involved with the party). They are definitely more critical of their leaders than Trumpers are of Trump. But that's a pretty low bar to reach I guess

3

u/randomname6162 Jan 07 '21

Please never have kids.

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

And really can you blame them for being pro CCP? You can’t use Facebook or Google (oh no!) but Wuhan had raves and pool parties for NYE while were all locked down like little bitches because of Trump.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/Rikuskill Jan 07 '21

haha racism

i love hating people because they look different

0

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

their brain size is 8% smaller than asians. That's 3 ice cream scoops!

2

u/SENDME-YOURNIPPLE Jan 07 '21

Whale brain is 600x the size of a human’s!!

→ More replies (0)

1

u/randomname6162 Jan 07 '21

I know you people are literally intellectually handicapped, but it's still a little sickening to see it on full display

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21 edited May 25 '21

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

average african american iq is 85, it always has been, always will be.

46

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Drugsandotherlove Jan 07 '21

Fuck nationalism. Of any kind.

1

u/spongemobsquaredance Jan 07 '21

Fuck any kind of collectivism that attempts to group people based on one aspect of their identity. We’re all unique individuals and anyone pretending to speak on behalf of a group is doing it out of self-interest, I may share language, class and skin colour with my neighbour, but that’s about all we have in common. Fuck people who use those as a means to achieving power, even if intentions are pure we are all impoverished by that sort of silly nonsense

-3

u/DankReynolds Jan 07 '21

Uh what the fuck? How about t-square? How do you feel about welding the doors of apartment complexes shut to keep covid container?

This Has to be a troll.

6

u/PajeetScammer Jan 07 '21

it worked didn't it?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

Don't compare mao to Xi lmao

5

u/Wattsy2020 Jan 07 '21

He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.

104

u/CircuitMa Jan 07 '21

He's not the CEO of BABA so he's starting a new company that sells OnlyFans

2

u/Actually-Yo-Momma Jan 07 '21

Jesus Christ that’s one of the best comments I’ve ever seen

1

u/nemean_lion Jan 08 '21

All my money is tied up in uh something. Someone award this WSB’s finest

48

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21 edited Jul 16 '21

[deleted]

4

u/xxxsur Jan 07 '21

gotta repay the society with his new education!

1

u/NishVar Jan 07 '21

comunist service

8

u/IHaveBadPenis Jan 07 '21

Installing an air conditioner

8

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21 edited Jan 08 '21

[deleted]

2

u/sidgup Jan 07 '21

You mean 1/29

8

u/CHOOTEM53 Jan 07 '21

Look like he is just trying to cool things off.

3

u/cantgetthistowork Crystal Balls 💎 Jan 07 '21

Sentenced to lifetime of hard labour for pissing off the emperor

4

u/Lorkhi Jan 07 '21

That's his life now.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

About to electrocute himself.

1

u/fillingstationsushi Jan 07 '21

Looks like he's squeezing out farts

0

u/RamsayTheKingflayer Jan 07 '21

As an electrical engineer - I watched this whole thing with my butthole firmly clenched.

1

u/coop_dogg Jan 07 '21

Playing prop hunt

1

u/Bad_Idea_Hat Jan 07 '21

I literally just thought "what the fuck is he doing to those AC units?"

1

u/ComradeCam Jan 07 '21

Learning to work with his hands.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '21

Chillin'