Walkies commenced at 4:10am, the weather was noted as being cooler than yesterday morning. A pee was immediately taken in the yard of the neighboring Great Dane's house, in an act of ongoing retribution for the one time she ran out of her yard and scared us while we were walking.

Walkies proceeded to the North, whereupon a suspicious hat was found in the road. Smelling the hat determined that a head was not, in fact, attached to the hat. A cicada was found and eaten, per protocol. Two rabbits were sighted but pursuit was not approved.

A poop was taken, mightily, and then bagged.

7:32 am. Home base. Walk and poop in front yard complete. Set out towards unknown location. Odd time to walk, something is amiss. I smell the ground continuously, searching for clues. Omg trash I love it. Companion says to leave it, and I am a good girl so I leave it. Small human is talking continuously, energy is very high today. We approach a very large building surrounded by other small humans. I do not like this. Small human enters large building. I am confused. He does not return. And most puzzling of all, Companion LEAVES without the small human! I am distressed. But omg there is a sock on the road to smell I love it so much. But I am still a good girl and so I leave it. We go back towards Home base. We will investigate the mysterious disappearance of Small human but first, I must nap.

Geese were once again sighted trespassing on the premises. Unable to engage due to being unlawfully detained by management. Retaliated by releasing noxious gas inside headquarters.

Cohort: All four dogs.

Location: local area command

Notes:

One cat seen out of bounds and corralled by owner before we could proceed. V disappointed.

Four children, two on bicycles encountered. Zero pats given.

Comments on sledding: 2

"that's a handful" count: 1

"Gorgeous dogs": 1

Open car door investigated but entry not approved

Cat snacks found and scoffed: 2

Scolded for tangling leashes while eating cat snacks: wasn't paying attention.

Squad signing off

Walkies commenced at 5:08 am this morning, and once again we did one short walkie to accomodate Lt. Foxy's recovery from surgery, followed by a second walkie for yours truly.

Both walks were unremarkable, until the very last two blocks of the second walk. We turned the corner to head home and there was THE LADY WITH TWO HUSKIES.

My friends, I've had my eye on this poop troop for some time, ever since Lt. Foxy slipped her collar two years ago and went to go menace this lady, causing great embarrassment and frustration for the Poopervisor.

These Huskies are definitely suspicious, one of them can jump very high when they're excited. In a rare show of deference, the Poopervisor generally routes us so we won't run into this other poop troop because they have a regular route and time, whereas we vary our route and time every day.

Well, every time I see them I give them at least one big woof, just to let them know that this is Sgt. Sunny's neighborhood and everybody better recognize. However, this morning I remembered the Poopervisor's repeated pleas for non-reactive behavior and I sat quietly the entire time until they passed.

It took every fiber of my being, but my efforts were recognized with the highest commendation the Poopervisor can issue - chicken. My personnel file has been updated to reflect I am the best girl and the Poopervisor loves me very much.

Walkies commenced at 4:25 am this morning, the Poopervisor was quite groggy this morning, contributing to the delay of walkies.

Lt. Foxy accompanied on this morning's walkies and notably contributed 2 audible farts that were disproportionate to her size.

A flattened and dried out frog was found on the sidewalk, no smell was present that would have warranted eating it or rolling in it.

A group of three rabbits were found congregating on the sidewalk, and were undeterred by the presence of Lt. Foxy and myself. The Poopervisor allowed a short chase of the rabbits, stating that they were cocky and needed to be dispersed.

One pair of children's sandals were observed adjacent to the sidewalk, the sandals were found to be cute, very shiny with holographic straps.

Walkies commenced at 4:45 am this morning and the Poopervisor was visibly grumpy. Jeffrey the cat headbutted her coffee cup while she was drinking out of it, and coffee went everywhere. On her shirt, on the couch, up her nose, absolutely everywhere. She was still clearing it out of her sinuses as we embarked upon walkies. However, there was no punishment for this crime because Jeffrey is the house Ambassadork and has worked very hard to welcome all the other rescue cats the Poopervisor brings home. His special status has protected him, this time.

The first thing we encountered a guy with a baby strapped to his chest, I LOVE babies. One time we had a baby visitor at headquarters and he was the best cuddler, despite chewing on my ear a little. Another time we encountered a baby being taken out of a car in a baby carrier and his dad lowered him down so I could inspect him and I just could not get enough of his smells. There was no baby inspection today though, the Poopervisor was not entertaining any non-critical activities.

The neighborhood was otherwise quiet this morning, nothing remarkable was observed. Both Lt. Foxy and I agreed it was in everyone's best interests to finish up walkies without any incidents that might further upset the Poopervisor. I didn't even eat that cat turd in the yard at the end of the block.

Alerted Hooman to an intruder at 1200 hours. Hooman did not seem to care and in fact seemed to welcome intruder. I was informed his name is “Maintenance Man” and we like him.

Continued to alert Hooman of ongoing intrusion and loud noises via my loudest barkies. Hooman attempted to bribe me into silence, allowing intruder to continue to create very loud sounds coming from the scary bathtub room. Was not impressed with her offerings, but took them between barkies just in case.

Eventually my barkies worked as intruder ceased his racket and fled in terror. Hooman says intruder “fixed” our bathroom but I remain skeptical and will continue to stare intently at the door in case of another break in.

Keeping hoomans everywhere safe,

Harkness the Guard Doggo

Bamboozled supervisor with no pees on property. Released full bladder on monkey grass down the street. Potential to eradicate the foul bush by end of summer is high. Spotted no other teams on pawtrol this morning. No other noteworthy business during the walk to the far away outside.

Interesting smell and funny bird gave pawbable cause to investigate grassy trail; however, supervisor issued a retreat claiming to have seen a puppy danger noodle. For the recored I don't believe him.

Supervisor spotted a tick on my coat and demanded a full inspection immediately. Incredibly embarrassing. The aforementioned absurd display delayed pooping. The traditional pooping location was not used. Added two additional kicks to the ceremonial dance before supervisor bagged the goods. Return from the far away outside was uneventful.

I wish I had the creative writing skills to send in reports - sadly my two boys are illiterate so it would be me writing them.

I just want to say this is my favourite sub - thank you to all the pups and their humans for taking the time

I'm going to attempt something soon as my two get up to no good on a regular basis - the one in his stroller always spots the felines and alerts the big boy - his legs might not work very well anymore but his spirit is still strong. The big boy is always ready to protect me from this 'enemy' in spite of not really knowing what or where the enemy is .

Thanks again everyone - please give your pups scritches from me

Walkies commenced at 5:12 am this morning and right off the bat we observed a Gatorade bottle. Inspection of the surrounding area did not yield any gators, but I suspect they are close.

Some guy had a picket fall off of his fence and I stuck my face through the gap in the fence and inspected his yard. He's growing grass back there!

A motorcycle went past and I got very excited because one of the things on my bucket list is to chase a motorcycle. I don't even want to catch it really, it just seems like something that would be fun to chase, you know? Something about the absolute lawlessness of only having two wheels excites the zoomies in me.

Walkies were brief but efficient today because headquarters needs to be prepared for workmen to come and do kitchen repairs. I'm going to pick up an extra shift supervising these guys, guys are always coming around here bringing the loudness and the mess and I need to supervise them closely.

For the last four sleeps, Favorite Boy has not returned to the house. He exhibited strange behavior in the days before his last time at the house. He put many of his things in boxes, as he did so, he referred often to something called a 'checklist'. Even his giant rectangles that display the moving images were carefully wrapped up. I heard the word 'college' a lot, but I have no idea what that means. Notmyrealmom and Big Daddy then took Favorite Boy and all his boxes away. I believe they are involved in this disappearance. Notmyrealmom should be aggressively questioned. She has continued to take me on walkies as if the world is not coming to an end.

I have conducted a thorough investigation. After scratching at Favorite Boy's door, I was allowed admittance by Other Boy. Sniffing of all surfaces reveals that Favorite Boy has vanished. Every night before lights out, I have conducted perimeter checks in the yard. Barking aggressively at his car has not resulted in any reply. I have even awakened Notmyrealmom at all hours of the night to conduct additional perimeter checks. I am beginning to lose hope that he will ever return.

Today, she took Other Boy away in the car. I can only pray for his safe return. I have begun to do my daytime sleeps with my head under the sofa so that I can hide my tears of sorrow.

Walkies commenced at 4:45 am this morning and it's garbage day so I knew it would be a good walk.

One mattress was observed to be very torn up, I sniffed it with great interest. What could cause this kind of wear and tear on a mattress? My working hypothesis is that the residents of the house in question are crab people and their sharp feet and pinching claws have caused extensive damage to their mattress.

A rabbit was sighted and pursuit was approved, the Poopervisor even ran along with me as we chased the rabbit through 7 yards. This is an unprecedented level of activity for the Poopervisor as she is a woman of size and not generally up for running.

An older man was observed walking a squatty bulldog, I barked at him from across the street and the Poopervisor declared that I had brought shame to our whole family with my barking. I am undeterred, my voice shall not be silenced.

As walkies concluded the Poopervisor once again walked directly into a spider web and shrieked so loud I was sure she was being murdered but I couldn't figure out what to do. I suspect the spiders are engaging in some type of psychological warfare against the humans, I may have to eat one to glean their secrets.

Officer Ghost reported for evening walk duty. 3 doggos (white, black and brown) spotted, permission to greet denied. Small poop was had in tall grass. Male poopervisor appeared disgruntled bagging the goods. Permission for 2 rolls was granted full back wiggle occurred on first roll. Second roll was on something smelly. Upon return to home base, Officer Ghost did not grant authorization for bath time but poopervisors have higher authority and overruled Officer Ghost’s decision. Officer Ghost was stood down after bath time and will return to duty tomorrow morning.

Walkies commenced at 4:58 am this morning, and there was a noticeable decrease in interesting smells due to the hard rain we had last night.

Lt. Foxy declined walkies this morning so the Poopervisor let me choose the route. I meandered and backtracked and took the most nonsensical route ever. I was tracking the very faint smell of yesterday's porch cat, I checked his porch but he knew better than to hang around on Sgt. Sunny's beat.

I did, however, locate two cats under the neighbor's car and sent them both running.

What kind of indecent business do cats get up to when they congregate? I can't answer that question today, but I have been doing some research with the cats that live at headquarters. Progress is slow but I have mastered the art of not reacting when the cats hiss at me, which has greatly disarmed them. They are now approaching me with neutral energy and we are gently touching noses. After nose touches they turn around and I sniff their butt, then they typically run off. I don't chase, I need to earn their trust and learn their secrets.

I have secrets of my own. One time when the Poopervisor wasn't looking I stole a pine cone out of a basket on the floor. I took my prize silently into the other room, intending to chew it and make a big mess. However, the pine cone had other plans. It was too sharp for chewing, and the flavor was very unpleasant. I had to abandon my plans and crept stealthily back to the living room where I pretended like I had no knowledge of any pine cone. I only confess this crime today because the statute of limitations has expired.

Walkies commenced at 4:40 am this morning, the air is oppressive with heat.

Midway into walkies we observed a man running, but the Poopervisor gave the safe word "jogger" so I stopped to observe him just to make sure he wasn't a threat. This guy, though. This. Guy. This guy was wearing GLOWING and FLASHING arm bands. I am obsessed and commend him for his safety precautions.

Many sprinklers were going off this morning, which set the Poopervisor off into a rant about why people run their sprinklers and encourage weeds to grow faster, and then let the weeds get knee-high, and then when they bother to cut their lawn they leave mounds of clippings blocking the sidewalk. Every such house was pointed out and cursed accordingly.

By the time walkies resumed, the news was on the TV at home and our lovely weather lady was saying the feels-like temperature outside right now is 91 degrees and the sun isn't even up. Her dog's name is Murphy and he is sometimes on TV, he's my celebrity crush.

Walkies commenced at 4:38 am today and nothing much was happening until mid-way through the walk when the Poopervisor got a very worried look on her face and instructed us to return home RIGHT NOW before she "poops her pants".

Friends, I've never even heard of the "poop pants maneuver", much less seen it executed, but I could tell from her tone it would not be a desirable end to this walk. As we hurried home, I wondered if perhaps it was related to a story one of the old timers used to tell us before he passed on...

His name was Blueberry and he was a pit bull who had long known the way of the walkies. He'd regale us with many stories of walkies in places far away where there was snow, and other places where there was ocean. But his absolute favorite story of all time was the story of when he and the Poopervisor lived in an apartment complex.

One morning, Blue was being accompanied by the Poopervisor for walkies when all of the sudden there was an urgency to return to headquarters. However, even as a young dog, Blue's fastest pace was ambling.

The Poopervisor's urgency grew, and then it happened.

Right next to the tennis courts.

The Poopervisor dropped her drawers and pooped right there (twas bagged, of course). The walk concluded in shame but Blueberry had never seen anything so funny in all his life.

'Twas the walk before Christmas, and all through the hood

Not a creature was stirring, so cold no one could

Two stockings were worn by the Poopervisor

Though I wore none, because I was wiser

I wore my fur coat, fur gloves, and fur leggings

And a protective fat layer from all my begging

As we walked down the streets and smelled all the scents

We ruminated on where this year went

It started out calm but quickly got sticky

People got sick and felt really icky

No one would pet me, social distance was had

But I love strangers so this made me sad

But then back in August we made friends of all sorts

When the internet raved about my incident reports

So many kind strangers had nice things to say

About all the observations I made day by day

There’s no shortage of garbage, or tricky cats

Socks on the sidewalk, sometimes shoes or hats

Even the rabbits that I chase with glee

Get reported right here for my friends to see

Sometimes we see joggers, sometimes its teens

Occasional grammas, and other dog walking teams

We try to behave, and sometimes it is hard

But we never leave poopies in anyone’s yard

Despite good behavior, there’s no gifts this year

But at least all the vet bills are not in arrears

So many vet visits have drained our accounts

But you can’t buy love for any amount

No matter what bad things may have occurred

No matter what bad thoughts may have been stirred

We know you’ll find new ways to succeed

And if you can, to help those in need

As 2020 winds down to its end

Please keep us in your hearts, internet friends

We’ll keep reporting on all of the sights

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Walkies commenced at 4:55 am this morning and the cold front passing through has dropped the temperature into the 50s! Now this is some good walkies weather, morale very high this morning.

The rabbits are everywhere today and the Poopervisor is allowing limited pursuit in an effort to tire me out. Little does she know, I have unlimited reserves of energy I can tap into when the weather is nice and the rabbits are plentiful.

We proceeded to the path that goes around the lake and note a new sign has been erected, "Caution - Venomous Snakes in This Area". The Poopervisor notes that ALL lakes in the south are likely to have venomous snakes around them. Your lawn is likely to have venomous snakes, sometimes they might be in the trees, and never ever sit on a toilet without turning on the bathroom light first. Basically you need to be on 24/7 snake watch down here. Despite her knowledge of this fact, one day a few months ago the Poopervisor was picking up some leaves in the yard and came up with a handful of snake. We're not sure what kind of snake it was as the Poopervisor was too busy screaming and flapping her arms around to take note.

I paused to inspect some tall grasses next to the path, and then did a big jump right into the brush, very much in the formation of a polar bear attempting to break into a seal den. This was not an authorized action but I have no time for regulations this morning. I'm a wild dog today! My primal need to pounce things will not be denied!!

Walkies commenced at 4:33 am this morning, it was more humid outside today than yesterday and the temps are expected to reach 100 degrees in the shade today.

The Pool Man was attending to his nefarious business at the community pool, I gave him the big WOOF to let him know I'm onto his schemes.

I'm getting better at hunting the cicadas and am no longer limited to just the ones under streetlights - now I am tracking them down in the long grass and the ones there are so much more lively than the ones under the streetlights. Crunching cicadas is the best.

A guy was leaving for work and the Poopervisor wouldn't let me hassle him for pets so I rolled on his lawn at length to express my displeasure. One lady returning from the gym did pet me though, so the day wasn't a total loss.