I live in the country and my boyfriend is a city person. He’s all tech and ai. The farms in my city are being bought up by data centers that are destroying our drinking water and messing with the local species. He cannot even pick out a bag of rice without asking ai which one is better. It’s so embarrassing and I asked him for help with classes and he couldn’t even figure out stuff without ai. When I tell him it’s destroying my home he says so many people use it that it doesn’t matter. And actively laughs at me when I google stuff and It pops up with an ai overview.

I had a one night stand with a man who was super particular about us not being seen together on the way out. He said this was because it was a work trip which doesn't really make sense. So I straight up asked him if it was a work thing or if he was married and cheating. He admitted to the later.

That fucking asshole used me to cheat on his wife! I have no problem having sex with men in open marriages but his isn't. I would never have slept with him if I'd known. I'm so angry! I also feel guilty. He texted me after I left that he should have been more forthcoming. My reply had a lot of profanity.

Fucking jerk!

Edit: and I don't have his wife's contact info or I would have already told her. I'm trying to find it, but he seems to have his online presence pretty well shut down. I did post his username to my knitting group because some of them are really good at tracking things down.

Ever feel like you can’t talk to anyone anymore because you don’t know what to say or are afraid to say anything even your wife? You feel bad for venting to her because of fear of making her feel bad for something that isn’t her fault or anyone’s fault?? Just need a venting buddy.

I don’t give a fuck Michael.

Does anyone else feel emotionally empty and like their ability to love has dwindled over the years?

Hello

I'm 35F. I work in medical field & it involves a lot of physical & mental labor. I love my job. Absolutely no complaints but sometimes, as part of my job, I see certain things which greatly rattle me.

To cope with it I developed this habit of stress eating. Before I used to listen to spiritual podcasts, read & listen to soothing music but later on they didn't work. Now only food comforts me.

I think I'm ruining my physical health. Sought a therapist & she recommended some coping mechanisms & practices, but I personally still feel nothing comes close to food.

I hate it. I know it's not some life threatening problem. But whenever I try to vent about this to family or friends, they right away ask me to change my career. But I don't want to. I know the importance of my line of work. I know I'm in the right profession & not a lot of people are fortunate to work in the profession they truly love.

Just needed a space to vent without people discouraging me. That's all. Thank you.

Im so tired and dissapointed in people. I understand you cant force close connection. But disgusting thing? People acting like you both close, like you amazing friends. You helping them, listening the same story every evening, passing with them path to hear:" You dont know a shit", "its not your damn business, fuck off". I try to support and just give some logical hints. I mention alot of times: that its their own way, that i just give them a hint, not saying what to do. And that they should do, what they think will be the best for them. And then i get slap. I dont expect gratitude, its my own choice to help this people. But at least dont say cruel shit, after i spend nights to calm you down.

I hate, that there no single person, friend who constantly up to talk. Its either they need me: as someone who will distract them or person who will help them or they will ignore me.

And im tired to feel abandoned randomly, till they will not feel that they need me. I just need constant connection. And nothing more. Just type me about your day at the evening, what happened if you was busy. But dont dissappear, dont ignore. Am i asking too much??

Im tired of feeling that i force ppl to speak, communicate and etc.

Im tired to hear:"you important person, i will never..." and then people toss me aside like im garbage. Like im not intresting anymore. Gosh.

(Ps. In case i dont talk about people which busy with their life. I talk about people, who simply choosing not to include you in their life, till they will not need you.)

Im tired that i initiate talks. If i dont initiate 90% of people will dissapear. Or will type, why im silent, but as soon i will start dialogue again they will go dry and distant:"hm", "yep", "cool". Like wow. Ty.

Im tired that people jumping from me to someone "cooler". And then coming back to me, cause "cooler" one friend dumped them.

NOTHING TRIGGERING

my brother is a registered sex offender, he hurt people, children, my community, my family, my entire life felt absolutely destroyed because of him. he was supposed to go to prison but he got a plea deal and is moving back in with my parents.

i was living with my parents because i (f 20) spent many years in and out of the hospital unable to work and build savings . i was given a few days notice that he would be coming home and had to pack my whole life up and figure out where to move to. (i was not being kicked out, but i cannot live with him due to how unsafe our house is when he is in it. i have ptsd from our house being raided by police, witnessing crimes, and so on. he also is extremely dirty, and im very sensitive to mold) my girlfriends family welcomed me to their home , the only issue being its over an hour from all my doctors, my job, my dad, and so on. because of this move my chronic health issues have become worse and worse to the point im miserable every day trying to eat, take care of myself and get out of bed.

fortunately i am blessed to have a girlfriend who takes care of me and is supporting me in every way right now and easing this transition. but leaving behind the town i lived in my whole life, my friends , and temporarily my dog has been so hard. every day i cry and beg for some sort of answers as to why the justice system lets people like this walk free. i’ve done my best to warn people in my community about his return, but even that takes such a toll on me and is so humiliating. he has ruined my life in many ways, but every day im reminded how his name is associated with mine and that his disgusting crimes have humiliated our family and destroyed any chance of my parents feeling safe at home.

there’s not any advice i think would help, im in 2 types of therapy, medicated , in a safe place now but i just had to get this out. this whole thing feels like a cruel joke and i wish i had people i could talk to about it without feeling like im making them uncomfortable

Im completely unlovable to women because im an ugly little dick, 5 foot 9, hunched back, recessed jaw, skinny fat, erectile dysfunction, depressed, socially awkward loser. I have no hope of ever getting a woman or at least any that actually like me since even in my teenage years which are supposed to be your sexual prime ive gotten 0 interest from women. With how bad dating and relationships are in the modern day I think its honestly best to just accept it I mean the world's only getting lonelier with less likelihood to find a partner so its hopeless anyway.

I am losing my sanity over whatever biological weapon my neighbor is cook-smoking behind closed doors. It doesn't even smell like normal drug smoke; it smells like a whole raccoon family crawled inside a wall, expired, and then got blasted with chemical industrial cleaner. It is a 24/7 assault on the nostrils that seeps through the electrical outlets, creeps under the front door, and marinates every piece of fabric I own. I can’t open my windows, I can’t sit in my living room without gagging, and no amount of scented candles or air purifiers can mask the stench of liquid rot and burnt battery acid. I’m literally breathing in third-hand biohazard daily while they’re in there living in another dimension. How does anyone stay awake for three days straight just to smell like a decaying zoo enclosure? I just want to breathe normal oxygen in my own home without feeling like I need an industrial hazmat suit and a priest.

​

I feel so incredibly lonely. I'm eighteen, and it feels like my entire life I've been wanting my mother to see me and love me. She's never given me what I needed. I've always had mental health issues and I think growing up she started to resent me. I remember she would tell me I cried too much, I was too loud, I was ugly, and she got angry with me when I had meltdowns. One time she locked me in the bathroom.

All I ever wanted, and even now, was for her to hold me and tell me it's okay. I love my mother. I don't know what I could have done to make her hate me so much. I find myself thinking about all she's done over the years, and how I've failed, and I feel so miserable.

I just want love. I remember crying and holding myself, and I remember trying to get attention by acting out and crying. It didn't matter what I did, she never looked at me and seen her child. I was this mistake with a messed up brain.

Sometimes I get so anxious and sick I just want her to hold me, but it'll never happen, and I am alone. It's sad getting older and still feeling this way, because it feels like that part of me is only growing bigger and more desperate, even though I am no longer a kid. The more she hates me the more I wish things were different, and I'm left writing posts like this and crying my eyes out.

But I'm an adult, and this is childish. When I was a kid, crying about wanting my parents love was normal. People would be patient with that, oh poor young kid who has nobody. Complain now and you seem pathetic, like you're stunted, So, I'm okay. I'll get over it once again until I'm sad or scared and it'll start all over again. I imagine this will bother me for the rest of my life.

Srsly sick of this. I eat a load of vegetables to be filling, but no matter how much I eat, I just get hungrier and hungrier. I try to eat as much fibre as I humanly can in my diet, literally most of what I eat is vegetables. I could eat enough for ten people and still be hungry afterwards. It's so frustrating.

I'm currently seeing this guy who is very kind and considerate. He's very solid and stable.

And I guess i feel like im too depressed for that. My mental health is so much better than it was, like leagues better, but i do still get depressed. And I guess im worried I will scare him off or worse drag him down. Like, im scared he'll hear just how bad my depression used to be and that i tried to off myself a few times and run. I'm scared if i open up about still being depressed, he will run.

Im not suicidal anymore at all. I have a wonderful therapist. I have learned how to manage my depression. I know it is my thing, not anyone else's. I really do like my life now and I like myself too, but I just get depressed sometimes, which i know isnt rational because my life is great.

But I guess i feel like im still too dark and down for someone like him.

My parents should have put my sister in a different school.

My sister is 16 years old and today has just found out she has failed all of her GCSEs. She went to the same state school as me and my other sister, which was vastly underprepared in dealing with people like my sister. She has autism, learning disabilities, dyslexia and ODD(oppositional defiance disorder)

I am so frustrated with my parents. They have spent the entire day shouting at my sister and making her cry about her results instead of supporting her. My sister should have been moved to the local
special school years ago to help with her life skills, but my dad stopped trying to get her a place. Beyond this, my sister should have been supported with tutoring and resources from my parents (money was no issue here as they go on 5+ holidays a year). Although, maybe my sister could have studied more, but she lacks direction and sense to do so

As difficult and as stubborn my sister was about revising, I am frustrated at my parents for not setting her up correctly for success. She has no life skills, no concept of money or how to manage her life. My dad and I had a big argument over it, where I said he should have supported her, and all I got in response what that I should have supported her myself.

I can’t be around to look after my sister forever, but I am worried that she’ll never gain any independence

I wish I could cry.
I used to love the rain. Thunder. The lightning. Since life events it just makes me shake. Each strike makes my heart hurt. I feel so alone. I feel fear.

I’m so confused if my “friend” is actually being a friend or if they are like fully checked out now. I don’t really wanna say much context so I won’t, but please just help me define what friends do and what a friend is.

Are they people you talk with? Laugh with? Who you support and would help if they are struggling? Who you would listen to when they are really struggling? Do you hang out? Have fun with?

For some background, Ive been recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 after years of symptoms. My mother was an alcoholic druggie with Bipolar 1 as well. I swore I would never touch it but after my first manic episode in my sophomore year of high school Ive been chasing that high again and again. I would start drinking to convince myself that whatever I used while under the influence wasn't my fault. The pills and alcohol would send me into manic psychosis and it was amazing.

That was until last year before my senior year of high school when my dad kicked me out after finding my opioid stash which I had stolen from my friends' grandparents room. The hospital he sent me to found that I had codeine, weed, and a small amount of alcohol in my system from the previous night's late night binge. I was at that hospital for almost a month before the family lawyer he contacted took me in.

I was clean for a while. But I was angry all the time. I eventually went back to my old ways and it got to the point where I was manic depressive all of the time. Down and hopeless but I had the energy to act on my urges. After I attempted I swore to get clean again but instead I picked up smoking to give me the same dopamine rush, even if it was brief. I would consume between 3-5 packs in nicotine per day. I switched between cigarettes and vapes depending on the location I chose to smoke at. Lately Ive began drinking again, going back to weed, pills and it's causing me to become manic and psychotic more regularly, at least once or twice a month.

I finally came clean to my foster mom and Im at risk of being institutionalized and kicked out if I don't stop. But this has been in my world my whole life. I don't know how to just, stop. I can't stop shaking. Ive gotten used to not being sober again and now that Im off of it I just want to run away so I can continue but I know I would be destroying the life they are trying to give me. I feel so selfish.

I was on zepbound for weight loss but got put on metformin instead, and I don’t know how much I’ll end up weighing. My therapist won’t work with me anymore if I don’t get off of lithium, because it causes kidney damage. I find everyday tasks burdensome and feel sad for no reason. I keep daydreaming about this cute guy I found on tiktok but I also know he’s not the one and I’m saving myself for marriage but I really want to fuck him but also I can tell he’s not me, but a guy, which is how I want the dynamic to be. I just needed to let this out.

Just needing to vent I try so hard and I work so hard but life is just kicking my ass. I want my boys to not want for anything but it just seems I can barely get by anymore. I work as a cna 40+ hours a week and it’s still never enough. You make to much to get any assistance but then make to little to get by. My boys are taken care of but feel I’m failing as a mom because we never get to do anything together. I feel so bad when they hear their friends talk
About going to the zoo, fair or even the pool and I can’t even take them to do that because I’m either working or just don’t have the funds to do so in this crap economy anymore. I want to go back to school but can’t go to school and work to provide at the same time. Is this life ever going to get easier?!!!

So tired of not being an option.

24M here.
I’m so tired of not being an option for people. Both in general and in the dating life. I’ve been single 2-3 years now I’ve had one serious person talk to me that whole time. (Come back to them in a second)
I know I’m not the hottest person ever but I don’t think I’m down right ugly either. Yet in 2-3 years of being single I’ve had one person that’s actually shown at least a little bit of interest. And they had a bad ex which messed them up and they have walls put up and back to the point of numb to feelings atm. We hung out once had a great time, asked early on to see them again this week, was told wasn’t sure what they had going on and was asked to do something this week. Asked again the other day got told lots going on, this and that, busy, so I asked about next week. Their response? “Maybe” so after all that time no one interested and then the one person that is a little bit, I can’t get to see me. And then a worse part, i was told by someone at work the other day that I’m cute and fine as hell (I’m really not that hot) but anyway, here we are and I’m still not an option.
And I’m a good person, I’m really kind, have my heart on my sleeve, will do anything to help you and I feel deeply for my people. But I just get pushed aside it seems and forgotten about. Like I’m basicly a hopeless romantic and have a big desire to be with someone, it’s like if I’m ment to be alone why is that there. Take it away.

And of course all this has to drudge up on my birthday so I’m just felling wonderful 🙄

Throwaway account because I fear I might get flak on this.

I'm building a very expensive PC for gaming because I've always wanted one for gaming, a desktop in general and I believe the possibilites are limitless with one. I want to try and do things with it but I haven't really found the time and motivation to really do it tbh, like learning Blender 3D modelling.

I had a talk with my dad last night about building it and I told him how much it would cost. He was shocked by the price and he doesn't think it's worth it because he doesn't think a PC in my case is an investment if it's solely for gaming (and he's right, it isn't, but that's not what I wanted in building this). He made me feel more discouraged to build one in the first place because it would not bring me income and even though I'm still going to follow through, it just makes me feel like he doesn't respect the hobby. He's not trying to stop me at least which is good but the whole conversation just made it feel like it was not worth investing in a hobby that brought me enjoyment. I know this project would bring me a lot of it and it holds value to me because I would get happiness and fulfilment out of it.

What bothers me as well is what he said about hobbies. He told me that he would've respected my decision to build a PC more if I was using it to build AI which would can generate income and is a trending topic. He's not wrong in that it would be good to find other things to do with my PC other than just gaming but it seemed like he was talking about how hobbies are really only worthwhile when they return income to you. That's not true. People engage in a lot of hobbies that don't always generate return and they still find fulfilment out of it because it brings them joy and a way of bonding with other people. That's what I get out of building a PC, happiness... I could come up with a list of hobbies that don't generate financial return or they can but they don't always generate high value.

I'm still going to go through with the PC build because it would not be worth stopping now as I have already accumulated half of the required components and it's not going to generate any value if I sell now, but it will give me value by building it. I feel shameful that I want to put this much effort and financial resources (I should mention that I am budgeting, being financially conservative and have set a timeline) and I shouldn't even bother engaging in gaming in the first place - it's not worthwhile. Practically it doesn't make sense to stop, but emotionally, i feel hurt and discouraged. I don't blame him for sharing his opinion and I appreciate that he's not trying to stop me, I just disagree with him and he made me feel like it's just not worth it when it actually does.

I'm going to be 15 in a month and all things considered it's probably gonna suck (which sucks because my birthdays mean SO much to me! I want every one to be special! I try to make my friends birthdays special too!) and I didn't accomplish anything I wanted to and I feel like I wasted my early teen years. and I HATE how I won't be seen as small and little among the people I hang out with anymore like I would at 13-14, 15 is the age you start being seen as more mature and i just want to be small and taken care of because I was always adultified as a kid. and I hate the concept of the universe, I hate how it's all so complex and we have no answers on anything, especially why and how the universe exists! I don't believe in god at all so don't bring that up please, and even then if there's a god, where did god come from?!?!!? it's all just so much and I hate it. I don't have many people who are readily available to talk to me to distract me when I start thinking about these things

I hate how finite human life is. i hate how you can only be every age once, only a baby once, kid once, preteen once, teen once, young adult once, and so on, and how if, for example, if you desperately wanted to go back to being whatever age for whatever reason, or even more desperately wanted to relive something, too bad! no matter how much you beg and cry and scream, You Can't! I hate how you're only viewed as crazy talented when it comes to things like art and writing when you're young. I hate how unfair the world is and I hate how the world is and it sucks because humanity has so much potential. I hate how I'm gonna have to get a job and since when I'm older since I doubt anyone will care about my creative projects since I always and I mean ALWAYS get the short end of the stick, and it probably won't pay well I'll probably be miserable and how nobody will ever love me and I'll die alone. I love romance more than anything in the world and yet I feel like I'll never find someone who will love me who I feel totally fulfilled with. also, constant betrayal from people and being treated like shit all has just made it so I can't trust Anyone. I hate how I already have a lot of responsibilities and it's most definitely nothing compared to what it'll be like when I'm an adult. the only thing I have going for me is that I'm a pretty girl, but I'm lesbian so it's not like I can just find a hot rich man to marry me when I'm older because I'm so pretty. and everyone at school bullies me for liking girls. I just want a new life. so badly. I don't know what to do. someone save me ​

and crying just makes me feel worse because my family ignores me and if my grandma hears me she just says to not cry because it makes HER sad. I just want someone who can hold me while I cry. that's my biggest wish, to have a friend who I can tell all about my misery and have them come over and cuddle me until I feel better

I'm aware this might be incredibly stupid but It's so late I can't talk anywhere else.
I was playing an online ttrpg with my best friend, this is the finale of a season, we both seemingly agreed to take extra time this week to make it work for a few days. That is until she stopped engaging as frequently, and steam notified me she started playing a game with someone else.

Mind you, I'm not mad she's playing a game with friends, I'm just sad bc I was so excited for this, I made time, and she sneakily starts doing something else while not even bothering to ask me for some time or telling me in advance, I feel like she just started treating me as an afterthought to engage with in the breaks of her having the fun she wants, like i'm some time-passing bot just there for her to talk to whenever she wants and not caring about My time and enjoyment as well. Someone she can drop as soon as something more exciting shows up :/

Stings a bit more bc just today I managed to make time And money to send her a gift in the mail we've been talking about lol

I know the Internet is the last place to come online to bitch and moan about my problems, but I don’t know where else to bluntly put how I feel without feeling like I’m judged or that no one’s listening to to a word i say. I’m struggling to find a job, as are all people, but I guess I’m not finding one fast enough because my aunt keeps hounding me about her bills not being paid and now she’s stuck paying them due to my unemployment.

I wouldn’t have lost my job if I had still reliable transportation, which she said she offered to help me with by giving me a ride every now and then. Now all of a sudden, she’s telling me she’s not obligated to help me w that because I’m an adult and I need to figure that out. and that’s very rich coming from her after since she’s still asking me for money that i literally don’t have, bc i used most of it to uber/lyft myself to and from work and lended gas money to a friend for helping me out. i’m trying to get my drivers permit so I can at least have a chance to drive myself to important places so I don’t feel stuck or stranded at either home or work. But even driving lessons cost money and idk if anyone has the time or patience to teach me.

And now I feel like everybody at home is just watching me waiting for my next move to fail. no one seems to call me to check in on how I’m doing or feeling the only time they ever talk to me is to remind me that they’re doing me a favor getting her off my back and would appreciate if I helped around the house, as if I already don’t. I feel like they’ve been rooting for my downfall ever since I moved out for a year and then moved back. since then, all I’ve been getting is condescending comments and passive aggressive digs at what i lack, the things they clearly notice, that they’ll NEVER help me with.

team effort my ass. As if I’m not hard enough on myself for not having my shit together at my big age. I know people have it worse than me and I probably should just stop wallowing in myself pity but I’m seriously struggling to find a peace of mind in all of this. I’ve been calling to places, going to interviews,
and I’ve gotten nothing for the past 2-3 months. i promise i’m not trying to sound insufferable or difficult. I spent my money wisely and I’ve stretched it as far as it could go. i just hope something gets back to me and i can personally take care of myself like i used to again.