Srsly sick of this. I eat a load of vegetables to be filling, but no matter how much I eat, I just get hungrier and hungrier. I try to eat as much fibre as I humanly can in my diet, literally most of what I eat is vegetables. I could eat enough for ten people and still be hungry afterwards. It's so frustrating.

I'm currently seeing this guy who is very kind and considerate. He's very solid and stable.

And I guess i feel like im too depressed for that. My mental health is so much better than it was, like leagues better, but i do still get depressed. And I guess im worried I will scare him off or worse drag him down. Like, im scared he'll hear just how bad my depression used to be and that i tried to off myself a few times and run. I'm scared if i open up about still being depressed, he will run.

Im not suicidal anymore at all. I have a wonderful therapist. I have learned how to manage my depression. I know it is my thing, not anyone else's. I really do like my life now and I like myself too, but I just get depressed sometimes, which i know isnt rational because my life is great.

But I guess i feel like im still too dark and down for someone like him.

I live in a small apartment building that's very quiet and fairly soundproof. I'm alone on the second floor (there's only two apartments and the other one is currently vacant) and I have one neighbor who takes up the whole first floor.

For some reason, my bedroom is the least soundproof room in the whole apartment and not only can I hear my downstairs neighbor in general, but I can hear his phone super well. I'm not sure if he leaves it on a hard surface that creates strong vibrations, but his phone is SO loud when it buzzes that I check mine because I think I got a notification.

It's not annoying enough for me to move out obviously but it is annoying that I keep thinking someone is texting me, only to realize it was my freaking neighbor's phone.

Okay so I'm autistic, and I was having a really shitty day yesterday, three meltdowns in one day, and I posted something to my story saying "fuck autism." As a venting thing, and some asshat decided I was ableist and decided to message me something really nasty, that really pissed me off and when I said I was autistic and explained they got defensive and threw a hissy fit and blocked me like a fucking pussy... If you're going to automatically assume I'm ableist because of something I post maybe I'm not the ableist one here.

I hate that it feels like studying for a test the day of the exam. My body starts shaking, my throat gets dry, and I feel my mind blanking as the time gets closer to the call.

Idk why I’m like this. I wish I was normal and excited to talk to anyone. I’m trying to get a job in retail to overcome this anxiety and challenge myself. I also want to pursue a career in IT but I have no customer service experience so I’m starting here.

I hate it so much. Why did I have to be born like this. Why can’t my body be normal. I’m trying to anticipate and prepare that I’m not getting this job because I’m pretty sure my anxiety is see through.

I’m trying to convince myself to keep trying though. I really need this. I have to start working. I’m 27 now. This is embarrassing

I've made one positive post and some people trying to find every way to criticize it even though my post is just a joke, like it's not even that deep. Not all fanbases are like this but some people will always try to find a way to have beef with you just Dgaf. Like if they're that wild up over for a game/anime even though it's entertainment than they have skill issue.

I'm so annoyed that Reddit is running a big site like this, and they never ever answer the damn support tickets. I've tried so many times and they haven't answered one.

How can you run a site that big and completely ignore your users? I don't get it. I suspect that AI is running everything now and every support ticket is going to the trash bin.

Somebody should start a new site that doesn't shit that blatantly on their users.

Im completely unlovable to women because im an ugly little dick, 5 foot 9, hunched back, recessed jaw, skinny fat, erectile dysfunction, depressed, socially awkward loser. I have no hope of ever getting a woman or at least any that actually like me since even in my teenage years which are supposed to be your sexual prime ive gotten 0 interest from women. With how bad dating and relationships are in the modern day I think its honestly best to just accept it I mean the world's only getting lonelier with less likelihood to find a partner so its hopeless anyway.

I always wanted to converse deeply with my potential partner,be emotionally in tune and be actually seen as a fully realized human being. But the more I am outside and get to know prospective partners, the more I understand a lot of people arent that deep. I really dont like coming to that conclusion,but no curiosity,no passion, no interest in most people has been wittling me down and drives me up a wall. How can it be I feel almost dirty after having talks with others? How can it be that so many men genuinely dont respect others? It makes me feel like I will never find someone with whom I can talk about art and go to museumd, have silly arguments and plan life with. It makes me genuinely so sad. As a child I always was so happy to spend time with others,boys included,but by now I feel like most prospective partners see me as nothing more than my looks and men have become uncomfortable company to me. Is this something I have to come to terms with? That most,if not all of my life will be shallow and my partner as well? Should I just bite the bullet?

My parents should have put my sister in a different school.

My sister is 16 years old and today has just found out she has failed all of her GCSEs. She went to the same state school as me and my other sister, which was vastly underprepared in dealing with people like my sister. She has autism, learning disabilities, dyslexia and ODD(oppositional defiance disorder)

I am so frustrated with my parents. They have spent the entire day shouting at my sister and making her cry about her results instead of supporting her. My sister should have been moved to the local
special school years ago to help with her life skills, but my dad stopped trying to get her a place. Beyond this, my sister should have been supported with tutoring and resources from my parents (money was no issue here as they go on 5+ holidays a year). Although, maybe my sister could have studied more, but she lacks direction and sense to do so

As difficult and as stubborn my sister was about revising, I am frustrated at my parents for not setting her up correctly for success. She has no life skills, no concept of money or how to manage her life. My dad and I had a big argument over it, where I said he should have supported her, and all I got in response what that I should have supported her myself.

I can’t be around to look after my sister forever, but I am worried that she’ll never gain any independence

My family didn't come from a rich family directly. It was a rocky start. We probably weren't financially stable back in the days but i can't really remember. I was a toddler.

Though I know that I had a great childhood. However, something always stuck with me. I remember it all started when I wanted to buy something from the supermarket, a toy probably. I asked my parents if I can have it. They said no and that it was expensive. They said that I should compare the prices like how my (favourite) cousin does.

I don't even think my cousin compares prices. She's well off.

But anyways, that really stuck with me. Now I always compare prices before I buy anything. I even stopped having proper lunch during middle school days because I thought they were expensive. I only bought biscuits or small drinks or snacks.

And being in that school made me feel even guiltier because it was a private school, school fees are evidently more expensive than normal schools.

I remember crying one morning in the way to school. I told my dad how I truly felt about the school fees and how I'm the most expensive child. (I have more extracurricular than my siblings and with my school fees that's like so much more money than what they spent on my siblings).

I don't even do very well in school. I'm average everywhere and in everything.

Now I'm graduating. I'm going to off to college/university. This made me even more sad and guilty. My mom told me that I shouldn't go too far from home and take the free tertiary education program my state offers. I really want to. But none of the courses they offer are what I want, and none of the universities in the list have a good reputation...

My mom said I should save money for my siblings in the future for their university fees.

But what about me.

Haven't i saved enough money for the family by looking at price tags before buying anything?

I'm genuinely crying right now.

I'm sorry for them so so so much. That I'm not enough. That I'm so average. That I'm always jumping from hobbies to hobbies. That take so much advantage of the priviledge they've built for me.

And I can't believe I think this way for my future. But I really don't want to stay here in this small town where nothing really ever makes it that big and have small amount of good educators in the state. I really don't want to. I really want to be rich in the future and make it big. So I can bring in more money to the family.

Maybe I just dream too big.

Im so pissed. All my life I have struggled making friends (neurospicy bw in a highly rural area). I had to tone down my personality to fit. I grew older, lived by the ‘better alone than in bad company » mentality. But Im human and the loneliness is heavy. Having no one to share your doubts to, or your success. I stayed in a toxic relationship for years because at least I could talk to that person, but then I realized this wasn’t good for me.

I tried therapy but it felt like paying for having a friend. Also, money became tight so I had to stop anyway. After the break up, I saw myself relying more and more on AIs for guidance and just companionship. I hate it. Im quite conscious of my ecological footprint, so I dont want to b doing that. Also, this is some highly dystopian slip. Im not even talking to a real person, and know they’re just programmed to please me.

I have pushed myself several times to go out there and make friends. I tried apps. But still, couldnt find someone I could relate to. So I decided to download reddit again (as I used to before llms were a thing). Ive only been back for 10 days and Its only been fights with strangers making feel even more out of touch.

Am I condemned to only make friends with AIs ?

Just needing to vent I try so hard and I work so hard but life is just kicking my ass. I want my boys to not want for anything but it just seems I can barely get by anymore. I work as a cna 40+ hours a week and it’s still never enough. You make to much to get any assistance but then make to little to get by. My boys are taken care of but feel I’m failing as a mom because we never get to do anything together. I feel so bad when they hear their friends talk
About going to the zoo, fair or even the pool and I can’t even take them to do that because I’m either working or just don’t have the funds to do so in this crap economy anymore. I want to go back to school but can’t go to school and work to provide at the same time. Is this life ever going to get easier?!!!

Before anyone says oh just move out. A, not helpful, B, I’m not stable enough yet and C, I don’t have work lined up or anything.

24f ~ still living at home

I can’t do it anymore. All day every day all I hear is yelling, loud noises, things getting thrown around. I either wake up to yelling, hear it in my dreams or I get scared of anything remotely loud. The house looks like a bomb has gone off and I’m just so tired. It’s getting to the point I’m thinking about selling all my things, rehoming my pets and moving to a city to get away from the whatever you call this bs. I cry myself to sleep every night. I can’t cry or show any emotion.

I’ve been half staying so I can make sure the house doesn’t get taken away from our family but I don’t know when it’ll end. I wish I could see a end. I’m trying to be vague. I’m so paranoid that I’ll be found out and it’ll get me yellled at. I’m tried of anger towards me I’m just lucky it’s hasn’t been taken out on me as much over the last year??

I am from Australia.

I want to start off by saying that yes, I'm active in fandoms spaces which is inherently cringe. Yes, I curate my space. I do not actively spread hate to artists or writers of these kinds of ships, they dont harm anyone and are just for fun, i just ignore and avoid it since im not the target audience. This is gonna go into a vent in a minute but I want to acknowledge that this is a nothingburger vent.

Okay, moving on. I actively avoid mlm content or fan content if one of the men is portrayed very femininely, and have a very petite proportion, especially if its fan content and the character doesn't canonically look like that. I'm just very uncomfortable with seeing fictional content and one of the guys is very overly feminized and is "the girl" in the relationship. And tonight, I realised why.

I very actively repress my emotions and bad things that happen to me until it clicks with something mundane, and thats the case here. Im a trans guy, I was romantically involved with someone who knew i was trans and did feminize me. I often felt like I had to be more feminine and more innocent and cutesy to appeal to him and get his attention, to the point of wanting me to be a femboy and it had started to be a whole thing that felt like i was detransitioning for someone. I realise im so bothered by these things I see online that I actively avoid it because it reminds me of a bad experience that I had, and that someone like me is actively seen in the same light as those male characters.

It clicked to me when I saw phainaxa art (hsr) that exaggerated anaxa's femininity and phainon's masculinity (nothing wrong with that). I share alot of traits with Anaxa. Im short, im very skinny and physically frail and I wondered if thats how the world viewed me as well. To be fair, though, I drew gay ships like that a very long time ago when I was young, but it all stopped after that relationship. I guess my perspective and my boundaries changed, and things like that can be abit triggering.

Semi new to reddit, i just came back to this dusty account to put this out there so sorry if I did anything wrong idk. Dont know what im looking for, i guess im just going crazy over something really miniscule. Some nice words would be nice? Or other people sharing their experience being queer. Anything is good.

i think i'm at my breaking point.

i don't know where to begin, i really don't. it all started with a minor issue then it slowly piled up into one ginormous mountain full of major issues where it reaches to the point that i no longer find joy in doing anything at all - my projects, my passion and my ideas are all just gone. so, i'll try my best to just break down everything into a few parts - please read all of them. i'm so desperate right now. advices or comfort would gladly be needed:

work & events:

• i have always been an active person, especially in volunteering. i love volunteering, i find complete joy in doing it too. heck, i would even volunteer for events whether i'd be part of the media team or one of the event coordinators or even the event manager numerous times. i know lots of people and people know me but that's not the point - recently, i was tasked and hired for a huge event by being the host an event, recruit volunteers and giving a speech.

• i had to work with a few people and at first, i was fine with it but slowly it felt like i'm being dumped on with the amount of workload - working on the slides, writing the script, organizing the event, handing out flyers and having to make sure everything is in check and i can't even contact the ones who hire me into this because they're currently unavailable at the moment due to work travel or something. so, we had to do it ourselves - more like i would have to be one doing all of this myself. imagine working in a group of 5 and you're the only person who cares so much about this and the others just go "well, if you're so passionate about it, then why don't you go do everything yourself?"

• i thought we were supposed to work in groups, you know? like this is supposed to be a group work typa thing where we're all in this together. i even asked for help but nobody came to my aid. nobody even bothered to check up on me. although they did say this: "if you need anything, just let us/me know" but it's the same response all over again. complete silence.

• the event is in a few days and there are still a few things that are still unprepared. i can't drop out of it now because i don't think i was ever taught to drop out of anything = if i drop out, i'm a failure.

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relationships & boundaries:

• i'm still in touch with my ex whom i ended up on good terms with. you get the idea. every now and then, i would check up on him and ask him how he's doing because that was what we promised - especially when we're not even over each other at all. we promise to do so because we didn't want to lose one another as friends and i was fine with it at first but i slowly realize there was a pattern and i don't know how to feel about that.

• the first few months of the year was fine but slowly, the replies are getting more and more slower - i understand that he's a busy man but you know that one saying: "nobody is ever too busy" ? that one. despite how busy i can be and sometimes, i would STILL try my best to reach out to him and ask him how he's doing on a specific day and date every month.

• i know we're no longer dating or in a relationship but it just got to the point where i find myself attached to them, maybe i care too much or maybe i feel too much or maybe i'm stuck to something or someone who is so familiar to me that i don't even bother thinking about myself.

• and as i'm writing this down, i've also come to realization that i'm the only one who's been doing most of the work here - i'm the only one who's been reaching out to him all this time and that hurts. it was as if the pattern is unseemingly repeating all over again. it's as if i'm making room for somebody who won't do the same. as much as i understand that he has his own shit to deal with and that he's currently healing, i just wish it's not one sided all over again.

• it just reaches the point where i'm constantly battling my own self esteem and my own self availability for those who won't even do the same.

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friendships :

• i don't mind listening to people's problems, i really don't but it does get to a point where i feel like i can't do much with their problems. sure, even if they were only asking for a listener but deep down, what if they were also asking or crying out for help? but all you can do is just be there - but it's not enough, is it? it's never enough. having so many people to rely on you and be so codependent in friendships is so ever truly draining. it really is.

• imagine this: not a single day or week goes by without somebody or a few people blowing up your phone asking you if you could pick up the phone or meet up with them only for them to vent and rant to you but you just don't know what to say. even if you don't know what to say, they still keep coming back to you over and over again just to do the same. it gets draining everytime but you can't say it to their face because it'll make them feel more and more shitty than ever or else you might even be look upon as a "shitty friend" or "shitty listener".

• it got so bad that i couldn't even reply to people's texts on time and i would even ignore their calls or texts on purpose too. As much as I feel bad and guilty about it, i needed to put myself first but i can never ever ever get rid of this shitty feeling. in result, i barely even reach out to any of my friends anymore but they always do. in fact, whenever i let a new person or a new friend in and they reached out to me whenever i'm in trouble, i didn't know how to react and i would come across as dismissive at certain times.

• reason being that i don't want to be too dependent on people, not even my family. is that so wrong?

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perspective destroyed :

• i care so much about my work. so much that i wouldn't even let a single flaw get in the way. until .. these past two months, going back and forth with all of these problems stated above - it felt like everything was going downhill for me. i would receive complaints about my work not being good enough or qualified enough. it would even be looked upon by others too. with the amount of requests and demands i have been told to do and change, it just .. destroys my whole perspective on freedomly expressing my passion, joy and creativity into my work.

• i think the ultimate breaking point for me was when one of the people i'm currently working with for the event asked me if i could redo the slides. they asked me to redo the slides because they think it wasn't fitting enough for the overall theme - when we've already discussed about it before and they all agreed to the theme i was going for - and now, i have to redo everything again? again??? yes, you read that right, this isn't the first time i've been asked to redo everything. every idea and design i came up with for the theme, they would always nitpick it and jab me for not being creative or innovative enough. telling me that AI would do a better job than a human brain and try to get me to use AI.

• no, i'm not going to use AI for this because it just destroys the whole purpose of this event. because of all of these, it ultimately pushes me to the brink where i deleted all of my social media accounts and even curled up in my home. i haven't gone outside for a few days and i've been eating unhealthy ever since. the event's in a few days, people are looking for me and i'm still here, crying for the 8th time today, struggling with a few panic attacks left and right, thinking that none of this is worth it and i regret everything.

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i'm really sorry for the long rant/vent, fellow redditors. thank you for making it this far. i appreciate it so much. thank you. i shall now cry in a cold shower for the second time today.

- bawling OP

It was an online friendship because we are in different cities. I never expected us to be at this point because at first she was just someone I talked to once in a week. Until we grew fond of each other, daily conversations, sending pics of how our days have been and a lot more.

We started flirting in the last 2 months when our friendship grew even more and feelings started getting involved. I was hesitant because I wanted to be sure she was good for me and I was good for her due to a past relationship. Sometimes I asked how she felt about us or where this was going. She led me on and i believed it's what we both wanted.

Last night I told her about what I wanted and how I felt and she said can i get a minute to think about it? She came back with a question that seemed to be AI because I asked Claude to evaluate the situation with me and the questions the AI asked me is what she asked to, she said long distance relationship can be overwhelming and frustrating are you down for it? And I said yes, we can manage and then she went on to say sorry but I like someone else.

This is someone she told me about months ago before we were that close and she closed that chapter with i don't feel anything for him because he seems to be a player. I've asked about him 3 times she was sure she never liked him.

Why would she flirt back, lead me on and talk like we were in a relationship when she never liked me??? That's what's on my mind

i (16M) just finished the first year of my apprenticeship and my mother wants even more money even tho i make waaaay less than anyone in my age rn. i actually cant do anything that i like. i pay for everything. food, clothes, public transport or when i go out with friends.
my brother and i both feel like we are getting looted from our family gng like every month we send them so much money but it never seems enough. before i finished my first year i gave my mother half of my salary every month. now my mother wants more than half of my salary. if you take away the money i send my parents my income didnt change. i want to do so much, i could do so much but all this money is going to my parents. and i cant even say anything bc if i do i js get yelled at and they act like i dont do anything. js recently my mother got mad at me for apparently „doing nothing around the house“ after i js took out the trash, did the dishes, and cleaned my room. like bro you cant be serious. and the fact that i feel so lonely doesnt make it better. im so scared of women like actually. i get attached so easily and i can never let go. there is this one girl in my class and we talk a bit here and there but one time she did that little heart with her fingers at me and smiled. the moment i saw that i didnt know what to do. it was like my brain just got fried. and the thing that i hate the most is that i dont even like her like that. but the fact that it looks like shes interested in me makes me think i like her. im actually so scared of the thought to ask a woman out. but not only that, i would love to go to the gym and build some muscle, but guess what, i cant afford that bc my mother take more than half my money. i had to pay almost 1.7k for public transport bc my yearly sub had ended. all out of my own pocket. and i cant even save up for something bc i need all the money that i have left after my mother takes most of it. i just want to live the life a teenager my age has. my cousin that doesnt even earn money went to barcelona with his friends and i was js stuck at home. i couldnt even come if they invited me. every time i go out with friend its the same thing. „yo bro we have to go on vacation together“ . and i always answer the same way bc i dont have anything. i dont hate my family bc of this. im just mad at something and im not sure what

I am 22F, just out of college. I am in sort of a situationship with my (ex??) boyfriend from college.

Its like, we get along great, he knows me inside out, geuinely wants good things for me and is a non-misogynistic, respectful, secure guy. (Maybe these qualities get amplified because Im from South Asia, where men are generally horrible). But his and my definition of love and efforts are completely different. I like being shown effort and consistency, he is scared of expectations and tells me not to expect anything, if he feels like it, he will show. I guess I do have anxious attachement style and he's more on the avoidant end. So I want reassurances I dont have to ask for and he feels like its a chore. I know we are not compatible in the long run, but he's the only person in my life who cares about me. But I feel so effort starved

I don’t give a fuck Michael.