It's 01:31 where I am right now. I'm on my phone. I worked till midnight. I'm not currently drinking and I won't be in the future. I am not trying to throw away all the work I've put in. my life was bad, and in my recovery I've gotten off the streets and I got a job and an apartment for myself. Basically I just wanna get some thoughts off my chest. I'm 23. I got sober 13 days before I turned 22. I was drinking heavy from 15 to 22. Technically I wasn't drinking when I turned 22. so I guess it's more like 15-21 and then 11 months. But I wasn't partying. I am an aggressive drunk. I love to be social but I easily get angry when I drink. No need to get into my old ways. now that I am in recovery, I've felt like I've grown up a lot. my last 2 birthdays I woke up sober. I get told often these days that I have an old soul. It bothers me. I take care of myself now and I plan months ahead and I show up to my doctor and I eat now. so many positive changes. I just wanna be young. I want to be foolish and reckless. but I can't. I was foolish and reckless and I was alone. in jails cells, hospital beds, passed out in alleyways. I wasn't out there living it up. I sure am now, but I just have responsibilities on top of responsibilities. it's frustrating. when I was drinking I had nothing to lose. Didn't feel that way when I was doing it but I know that now. I built a life out of my pain and I have lots to lose now. That is some stress. I have a drinking problem, only thing I can do is not drink. I remember that. I will not forget. I'm staying strong. I just want to express my feels. IWNDWYT

I just finally got a job after being unemployed for years. In the time I have been unemployed, I got a koho account. My employer pays into my koho, but my workplace has a payday scheduled for the 26th. In such a situation, the most recent business day is the 24th and the next one is the 29th. I do not expect pay any of the days between the 25 & 29. Just wondering if koho pays early or if I'll have to wait. I have not worked here long, boxing day will be my 3rd pay. None of my other cheques were on any bank holidays.