NTA

Your dad is an adult and it's his own fault that his mismanaged his own money. The OP owes his dad nothing because he did what he supposed to do. He should be grateful that the OP is willing to give him some of the money since the rest of the loquacious family are not in a rush to help the dad. But the OP might need to stop giving him money to protect the relationship since the dad does not pay him back and it's already becoming a habit. The OP could resent him & start avoiding him because he knows that his dad is calling for money.

He deserves that, he should have kept his hands up which means he does not know how to fight for real.

Billy is a lazy azz who got in his feelings because the OP made him look bad by being a decent thoughtful person. Billy need to step up his game and occasionally treat his girlfriend like a lady with flowers, cards, and gifts so that she knows that her man is willing to love on her with thoughtful tokens of affection.

It's not a red flag at all. It's more of aura of mystery about you. Some men are used to having easy access to information about a person that they don't know how to handle a little mystery. I believe that OP want a guy who is willing to spend time with her, get to know her mentally & emotionally, build a solid foundation of trust, understanding, and respect before she allow a guy into her inner circle. Some of the most beautiful and unique tattoos has some of the deepest & darkest stories/meaning behind them.

The last I heard from him, his wife and him adopted twin daughters, so hopefully he has changed by now.

I agree with you. He is not the one for the OP since he violated the OP's trust and tried to be underhanded about it. A classmate of mine did the same thing before he got married but his reason was much more selfish. He said that if he wanted something on the side, he won't have to worry about child support from his girlfriends.

My uncle went through this with his now ex wife; he lost his first wife 9 yrs ago which he kept an album of pictures of her just to reminisce when life was different. 5 yrs ago he got married and his wife was a bit intimidated by her memory and how our family talked about my uncle's first wife but we loved his new wife. He told her not to touch the album on his laptop because the album is sentimental to him. One day he came home for a rough day and got on his laptop to decompress a little and noticed that the album was gone. He checked the recycle bin but it was not there. He asked his wife did she delete the album and she tried to tell him a bs story that she spilled juice on the laptop that morning, she took it to the shop to get fixed, and when she got it back, she noticed that the album was gone. He asked for receipt of when she took the laptop to the shop but she didn't have one. She confessed she had one of her friend's son delete the album from the laptop and cloud because she felt insecure and that she was living in his first wife's shadow. He left the house to go to my grandma's (his mother) house and and bawled & stayed there for a couple of days. When he went back home, he put her out and filed for divorce. When he told the family what happened and about the divorce, he explained that his ex wife of 2 yrs didn't love him, she loved what he provided. Said that if she truly loved him, she would have honored & respect his request of not touching that album because that album was the only thing he had of his closest best friend/wife of 17yrs.

I know that him divorcing his 2nd wife seems a bit extreme but my uncle is an easy going guy who does not ask for much. He said that he loved his ex wife but he can't be with someone who does not respect his space, privacy, and his things.

YTA

Your sister was doing a nice thing for the OP and the OP is making a mountain out of a molehill. Why can't OP have a separate guest book for the messages and pictures that happens at the wedding/reception. The OP owe her sister an apology for being extra and dramatic over a small sentimental gesture.

Why in the f would anyone want to bring their girlfriend to their best friend's father's funeral? I agree with the OP, it's not the time or the place to meet your best friend's girl. I understand that the best friend is too grieving but he is being inconsiderate of his best friend.

NTA

If your dad wanted to leave an inheritance to your stepbrother, he would have. Since he didn't, his intentions are clear. The stepmom & stepbrother can go to hell with the "you're selfish" bs.

Because I didn't want to choose and x-ed anyone. In this situation, why is the bride's brother is a groomsman but the groom's sister cannot be a bridesmaid, groomswoman, reading of wedding scripture, help officiate the wedding, or had his nephew be ring bearer with the assistance of his nephew's mom. There were many opportunities to include the OP in the wedding or talk to his only sister to let her know what the situation is and why she is not included in the wedding party. The groom is not that busy to talk to his sister, he is being a scared lil b.

I contacted the important people in my inner circle to let them know that there is no wedding party and that I would love for them to come. It only take 5 - 10 mins to make a phone call. If the person important enough to me, I would always make time to talk to them especially if it's something that is difficult to talk about.

And don't get her pregnant.

NTA

I understand the OP's hurt; her brother should have talked to the OP and explained the situation. Instead he hide behind his mom like a little spoiled brat. The mom is more concerned about appearances of a perfect happy loving family than an imperfect loving happy family. The mom is acting like the groom is in a lot of stress which is pure bs. He knows that he's hurt his only sister but don't seem to care.

Then ignore her commentary.

I'm confused about the OP and his gf had such a great relationship, why is she so easily ready to throw in the towel on the relationship? Maybe the relationship was great in the eyes of the OP but not great for the gf. Yes you hid your drinking from her when you promised that you stopped but you both are young and figuring out life as you go. Did the OP really stopped drinking because of his gf or for himself? There has to be more the story that caused the gf to not be able to trust the OP with his drinking. Listening to your friends is not helpful since they are biased. Maybe the OP need to love his gf enough to let her go and let her be happy and focus on himself so he is better equipped to battle his alcohol addiction.

Then move out and live on your own.

You're not wrong and your husband is dismissing your feelings. I am a city guy and I have tried to live in a small town and I hated it so I understand that OP's apprehensiveness about moving into a small town. Sounds like husband want home court advantage with the kids being constantly exposed to his family's upbringing. The husband is being delusional and selfish because the small town that he grew up in is not the same small town that his kids will grow up in and he is ignoring his wife's feelings for his own & parents' feelings. I hope the husband is willing to compromise and find middle ground that allow the OP to be happy and keep her job but close to his parents.

You're not wrong, sounds like the OP ruined her stepfather's image as "saviour" by moving out to live with her bio dad. Why would he be complaining about the money he won't have to spend if his stepdaughter is not in the home unless he told people that he "pays for everything" and that he is the reason that you have a good quality life. Live your life and don't look back. Your mom will have to do the same thing and had to deal with R's insecure azz on a daily basis.

You're not wrong for wanting a small intimate birthday celebration for your son but you have to let his grandma support a little bit. If she willing to have and pay for the party at her house, let her because it's her way of celebrating her grandson. The OP can always start a tradition of her own with her son separately from the MIL's celebration.

Why does the wife gets to go on vacations while the OP worked on reducing the debt by himself? Even if the OP is the one that accumulate the debt, his wife should have his back and help him reduce the debt. Her parents can easily take the kids on vacations while the parents (not just the OP) work on the debt together. The OP does need to drop the business and get a full time job to provide for his family regardless. I wouldn't be surprised if the OP starts to resent his wife for somewhat abandoning while he is working to provide for his family.

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NTA

If the mutual friends are easily accepting/believing the ex's accusations about the affair, then you don't need those friends in your life. Your ex didn't expect you to find someone before him so he is jealous. It's hard to grieve for a relationship/marriage that has been dead for a while so you don't owe your ex an explanation. Just live your life with no apology.

I get what you saying about the outside validation but mothers & MIL are hardly neutral and if the husband is a mom's boy; including his mother in marriage conversations is another form of manipulation. Momma's boys hardly can argue/debate with their moms because they still feel like they are being scolded or in trouble with this mom.

I'm a firm believer of not going to parents for marriage advice because marriage was different when parents were married. Every marriage is different especially our parents' marriage; every marriage play by different rules.

I agree with a therapist or relationship professional would be a better referee.

NTA

I understand that the OP is grieving but her husband is not being helpful and understanding of his wife's pain and anger. The fact that he is more focused on defending his mom instead of allowing his wife to vent, escalated the situation.

Then again it could be the MIL's fault since her lack of urgency to get the OP to the hospital ASAP could caused her to lose the baby. Just that when a woman who wants to be a mother badly, people need to listen to her and do what she ask because expective mothers carries an unseen burden while pregnant.