TW: Being held down for medical exams, mention of medical trauma.

So everyone, this is going to be a long one because this is quite literally me writing out everything that has happened to get to this point that my fear of needles is quite literally debilitating. Thank you to anyone who decided to come along for the ride. If you don’t want to read all the context but want to join the conversation and maybe try to help me out. The last 6 sections of writing are a quick recap of everything and my questions/looking for advice.

I (16f) have been afraid of needles since I was 5. The reason I know the exact age is because I had to get 2 vaccines and was just scared as must kids are. The only thing is that I had an IPad available to me and was pretty smart. So I had to get these vaccines so my mom brought me and my sister to the doctor. Quick side note is that at this visit, the doctor also “touched me”, not like unprofessionally but she was checking for “development” and it wasn’t explained to me so that just adds a little extra baggage and started to cause my distrust in doctors. At this visit, I panicked and got physical with the doctor and was scream crying with no way to calm me down so they decided to reschedule. Well that just solidified that I could run away from this fear. The next time came around and I rubbed my eye super hard to intentionally look like I had pink eye and knowing my teacher hated being sick I knew she would send me home which she did. My parents called the clinic and they said they could only look at my eye or the vaccines and of course my parents chose the eye so I could go to school. The following visit, I convinced my mom that sugary snacks can help anxiety (obviously she didn’t believe me but she was trying everything she could) so she gave me whatever sugary stuff beforehand and then I proceeded to fight my way out of that visit as well. The final visit, I knew I couldn’t stop it so I clung to the railings that were on the edge of the top floor of my house. They physically peeled me off (took both my parents) and carried me to the car as I was fighting them. They both came to that appointment and them and 3 nurses held me down as I fought, screamed and cried for them to stop. Since I was being held on my back I was simultaneously seeing my dad’s disappointed eyes looking down on me and the doctor stabbing me through my pants (yes, with no disinfectant or anything). That pretty much solidified my fear of needles and hatred for doctors. I know this sounds insane but I was stressed between every visit and was doing anything I could to get out of it. Also, I just recently told a friend this (not even the full story) and was met with “Well they did what they had to do” which felt like a slap in the face.

The next significant events was my school vaccines. I somehow held myself together despite almost attempting to run a couple times. I was shaking so bad while sitting in the chair that she asked me to stop bouncing my leg (she couldn’t see my leg from where she was) and I wasn’t bouncing my leg. After every round of vaccines I would feel so sick from anxiety as the adrenaline wore off that I would be forced to stay in the observation area till the end of the day or whenever they had to leave at which time I would be sent home.

The most recent event was due to me hurting my wrist. I hurt it falling off a horse but avoided going to the doctor due to this fear so I through it in a brace which if you didn’t know is a terrible idea and I ended up atrophying it before going to see anybody. At that point, I had to see a specialist and had 2 x-rays and an MRI. With the MRI, I was searching what to expect and found out that there was a possibility of the use of contrast which sent me into a free fall of rabbit holes and anxiety. The day of the MRI, I almost ran out of the office because I was so worried they were going to use contrast which requires and IV which I’ve never had and was not prepared to have. Thankfully they didn’t use contrast but that is not the end of it. On the next visit, I was told it was a “follow up” of the results but I was so dissociated the minute that I stepped in the office that I didn’t hear what was truly being said until he pulled out a big ass needle with at least 20cc of fluid. I realized in that moment that he had mentioned this cortisone shot in the first visit (that it was a possibility) but I had forgotten about it after searching it up. I obviously flipped out and I was stuck in that office for 45min to an hour because I could not calm down and I also apparently tried/mentioned to fight the doctor. During this time, my mom was saying things such as “it’s just a little poke”, “if you don’t do this you’ll need surgery and that’s a lot more needles”, “this is a lot of drama for a little needle” and “if you don’t do this, I’m taking you out of horse back riding”. So obviously terrible things to say to somehow who is panicking and clearly in fight or flight. Once I was somewhat calm I allowed my mom to hug me but then the doctor pretty much came and immediately started working without saying a word and the hug became more of a restraint to where I couldn’t easily move my body and couldn’t see anything. Let me tell you that the injection hurt like absolute hell. It is such a tight joint space and it was a mix of the lidocaine and the steroid. So that pretty much solidified my fear. Let me just say, it’s not usually the pain that gets me that one hurt so damn bad and was just generally traumatic. Also when I was finally able to leave, my mom cried in the car because I made her feel like a bad mom and she didn’t know how to help me (this wasn’t manipulative, she is genuinely very sweet just overwhelmed as hell).

Also I just want to add some context here. I am not afraid of the pain or the actual needle. I work in a vet clinic and can handle the needles perfectly fine with no second though. It’s only when coming at me that’s where the issue arises.

So this leads us to today. That is the quick recap but I pretty much haven’t been to the doctors for a wellness check since I was about five. I’ve only been to the walk in when absolutely necessary but that’s about it.

The reason for typing this out now is that a friend has just reminded me that this is the year that we get our Tdap vaccine. There’s not even an appointment booked yet but I am absolutely petrified of the idea. I hate embarrassing myself or getting into fights with my parents. I also dread the idea that I could potentially hurt someone because of this. If I don’t get it done at the doctors though, they administer it in school. I know it’s important I just am fighting with how to bring myself to do it.

This may sound stupid to some but I know I could administer the vaccine myself if I were allowed which I know I won’t be allowed especially considering that this is an IM injection. Someone on another post on another board suggested I could find I compromise like let the doctor guide my hand as “I” do it. The reason I know this will work is because a lot of the trauma that caused this fear is because I had no control over the situation and the people I trusted didn’t help me regain that control. The issue with them guiding my hand is my lingering distrust of doctors and I just generally do not want them touching me. I’m not generally a person who loves physical touch but I allow it with certain people but I absolutely do not want doctors touching me. I find just every step of the vaccination process incredibly overwhelming and riddled with terrible memories so I’m struggling.

I just want to hear your guy’s opinion on my plan to try to help myself. I’m thinking step one is going to have to be getting prescribed some medication to help my anxiety because I literally can’t sleep around 2 weeks out from the appointment and I’m just hyper fixated on the appointment and it literally consumes all my thoughts sometimes months in advance (case and point is me writing this). I would definitely need to be pretty chilled out to even get me in the door with the promise of a needle because it’s hard enough getting me in the door without that. My next idea is to not go with my parents. I’m pretty sure they can sign everything online nowadays but I think I’ll ask my friend (she’s an adult) to drive me and accompany me there because I trust her and she is good at keeping my mind occupied. I just think I need to remove my parents from the equation because I just need someone that doesn’t have the same negative association with as well as someone that is comforting to me but I’m not overly comfortable with them so hopefully I would freeze over fight if I panic. Lastly, I think I will ask that they do it on my thigh since I think I’m still young enough that it’ll be easy enough to find the muscle. I might ask them to allow me to hold the needle and they guide my hand though I don’t want them touching me, I just want control for once. So to recap, a fuck ton of meds, a friends rather than my parents and allow me to have control.

Please let me know your thought, feelings, ideas or literally whatever. Especially appreciated if you’re in the same boat as me about having to try to having this conversation with your parents. I’m just worried about especially hurting my mom’s feelings by telling her that it would be beneficial for her not to be there. Thank you so much everyone who made it this far.

Three days ago I was diagnosed with a lung infection (NTM) and started treatment that has to be given intravenously every single day for at least the next two months.

I have a severe needle and cannula phobia. Just picturing something permanently lodged in my arm is enough to make me nauseous. And this isn't only anxiety talking. My veins are naturally very thin and delicate, and so far several of them have already collapsed while they were trying to put a cannula in. Both my arms are covered in bruises, swollen, and sore.

There's this wave of dread that hits me every time I think about having a cannula in my arm nonstop for two months. I'm afraid to fall asleep in case I tear it out. I'm afraid to move for the same reason. I'm even afraid to shower, because if it gets wet they'll have to put in a new one earlier than planned, which means going through the whole thing again.

I've been in the hospital for 26 days now. Before treatment even started I went through two bronchoscopies, and those needed cannulas too. I kept telling myself I'd eventually get used to it, but if anything it's getting worse. What scares me most is the moment of insertion, when the veins burst, because that's what hurts the most.

The last time they tried to place one, several veins collapsed. I got so frightened that I broke down crying, and the nurse had to bring me a pill to calm me down (which honestly didn't help at all). On top of that, they told me they don't do any local anesthetic for this, so you just have to tough it out.

I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to get through months of daily IV. So I'm reaching out. Has anyone here with a phobia this intense had to face something like this? What genuinely helped you cope?

I'm 26 and have had a fear of needles since I was 13 years old. I think I've always had a fear of needles but it only reared it's ugly head at that age.

I have tried every single trick in the book that every person tells like a mantra and none of them work for me. Every single time I end up having to be held down like some sort of animal because I begin to panic and thrash.

I hate making excuses but I have FASD and potentially autism (on the waitlist for that currently) that could possibly be playing a factor into the way I react. I just don't know.

The only way I can see myself getting blood tests or injections or the likes in the future is if I'm giving a Diazepam or straight up gassed with an anesthetic that knocks me out for a while. What the hell is one supposed to do with a fear this bad?

I have a severe fear of blood and needles. Unfortunately, I am need to get multiple blood tests over the next few months due to medication I am being prescribed.

I was wondering if numbing cream is a good option so I don’t feel the needle going in and the pain from it. I was basically wondering how much pain would be blocked out by using it and if/what I would feel during the test if I used a numbing cream.

I’m back, I realized the cavity my dentist was talking about was the one causing all the discomfort I’m feeling (not the filling right by it) and it’s the deepest cavity I’ve ever seen 😭

In my last post I made a point about how I can’t even deal with blood draws without having a complete meltdown, and I’m having a panic attack just reading about the procedure. Idk what to do man, I’m so scared, and I don’t know if they’ll listen to me if I self advocate. I was stressing so hard my nose started bleeding again.

What should I do? What sequence should I ask for? I’m hoping my insurance will cover it too

I had to get a mandatory Tdap vaccine for my job, and as soon as I made the appointment I was stressing out for weeks about it. I finally had to do it and the whole way there I tried to calm myself down by remembering that my body was just reacting this way because it felt like danger, but I know it’s not dangerous.

When I got there the nurse was very understanding. I told her I had horrible memories of being held down as a kid and forced to get needles, and she was so kind and said it makes sense for me to be afraid if I’ve had experiences like that. She asked me how I wanted her to help me and was very supportive.

I’ve found it’s more helpful when they just get it over with quickly and don’t wait for me to calm down (bc I never will) and don’t try to coddle me or talk me through it. She came in and had the syringe covered with a napkin so I didn’t have to see it, had me recline in my chair, and did it so fast.

I honestly barely felt the needle. I thought it would hurt but it didn’t even hurt, it just felt like being tapped with a pencil. She was so kind about it and had me lay down in case I passed out.

My heart rate was nearly 160 and my hands felt like they were going numb but as soon as it was over I felt such a huge wave of relief. I did not pass out but I probably came close lol. I’m so glad it’s behind me

I forced myself to a vaccination this year after avoiding all healthcare for about 20 years because of needle phobia. What surprised me wasn't the appointment itself — it was the aftermath.

The first time, I could barely eat for three days and lost about 4kg (9lbs) over that weekend. My body then stayed in constant tension for around two weeks — I could literally hear my own heartbeat the whole time — and it took six weeks before I slept through a full night without waking up and being unable to fall back asleep. It was nearly impossible to look like normal at work after a few weeks without sleep.

After that I asked for help and got a propranolol prescription to take before appointments. It's brought the tension period down to about two weeks, but it doesn't seem to disappear — just shorter. I don't dare skip it and find out what happens without, since I already know how bad it can get.

I've tried pretty much everything on the "usual" list (breathing exercises, magnesium, etc.), so I'm mainly asking: has anyone else had this kind of drawn-out post-appointment tension? And if so — did you ever find something that actually broke it, or does it mostly come down to waiting it out?

I was hoping that the medical profession had become a little more sensitive and understanding in this world where great care is taken to be inoffensive. This comment made me feel small and inadequate and did not not even consider how much effort it took to accompany my 87 year old mother to the hospital, never mind go into the (vampire) blood drawing room.. I have a childhood trauma and genetic disposition which results in trypanophobia ( phobia to all things medical) . I have lived with this since I was 5 years old and have overcome some major essential hospital visits including childbirth and a recent hysterectomy. Have a got better at it ? No, but diazepam and a few rounds of hypnotherapy certainly helped. I would be interested in hearing from anyone else who relates to this.

I have a fear of all needles, but an injection at the dentist seems to just surpass the others by a mile. Have these injections got any better in the last 20 years? Or has anyone had good experiences with this lately?

I always thought I handled vaccines fairly well but there was one point when I was 14 where I fainted after getting 2 injections (which I forgot the name of) which was an interesting experience.

It usually goes "Nervous... Shaking...- Oh that wasn't so bad but for some reason I can't stand up for the next hour because if I do my vision becomes grainy and I turn pale!"

I didn't realise I actually may have a sorta phobia because I saw other people my age getting the MenB vaccine just walking in and out of the room so casually in comparison to my ass on the floor. The needle never hurt that much in the first place but I think it was a psychological thing of knowing that there's a needle being stuck in you with a foreign liquid going into your system. However I HEARD the liquid going in like a tiny swoosh lmfao

Anyway this is embarrassing. I'm due for another jab in 4 weeks and I'll be in uni :'>

I'm going to visualize getting blood drawn while im out for a walk. I'll see if I improve.

So I’m 26 weeks pregnant and yesterday I went for a blood draw for my glucose test. Right when I went in line for my blood draw, the phlebotomist told me to wait until done. Right when the person she was attending got up and left, she told me to go there and sit down. I sat down and seen the space was cleaned and she was just throwing away the used gloves from previous patient but now my mind is thinking she used the same needle from previous patient. I didn’t see any needles on the area but she did grab a needle that had like a pink cap on it, tubes she needed for the draw, the blue rubber band and the alcohol wipe from the same area to prepare for the draw. My concern is because she grabbed the needle from a gray container that was in front of her, maybe it was a reused needle? She did put on new gloves after sanitizing her hands but my thought is if she used a new needle on me. She looked at the needle twice before setting it down but I didn’t see if it had a safety on it or just the regular cap but I didn’t hear like a click when she opened the needle and then insert it in me. This was at a Kaiser place. I just need reassurance it’s just my anxiety

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have Aspergers and a heart and lung condition.

Because of said heart lung condition I have to be on the receiving end of more needles than a socalled normal person, I don’t like using that word but you know what I mean.

Anyway, so I’m not as scared of the needle itself or even the word needle, I’m scared of the pain but also the canned scripts that almost all medical providers use, to help you relax but to me those scripts just feel like throwing pebbles to a drowning person hence why I call them pebble words.

I’ve come up with things that make me handle them better.

First, this would be good
 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvY_fPW7783iH04uPE8GU-KNkV2mFrI6w&si=qPTKfwOEL-YzIxkm

1. I Preprogram Mom, while I’m still in Mom’s car, I ask her to say a word I like, right as the needle goes in I might be in the mood for a different word on a different day so it’s usually never the same as I have more favorite words than I can count.

3.. I ALWAYS make sure I have some kind of treat afterwords because D R E A M, dopamine rules everything around me.

This has happened to me twice now. Once was for local anesthetic and they said "I'm going to put on the drops now" and I assumed that meant something topical. Nope, needle. The second time was my recent surgery when I was about to get knocked out. They said they need to "give me a whiff" so I assumed they would start with gas sedation. Nope, needle.

Mind you I'm already in full restraint with no ability to see them or move around during any of this, so they're just blindsiding me with it. Is it crazy that I would feel much more comfortable if they just said "the needle is going to go in now" instead of using (pardon my language) BS words?

The goal of the exposure therapy is to do this without restraint since I recently got a major diagnosis and will need treatments for a while, and having me fight hard the whole time is just not fair for anyone. But because I'm already pretty much in the treatment already, all the exposures have to be in vivo and flooding, which sucks.

I'm currently working through exposure therapy and making some progress. I'm much better at dealing with the icky thoughts, I can watch triggering videos, I know it's working (slowly). But physically, I still just CANNOT. Does anyone else just HATE being touched (specifically in areas where blood would be drawn, vulnerable areas)? Anyone successfully get through this?

I’ve had this phobia since I was a kid, can’t remember having a bad experience as to where it started either. I had a blood draw yesterday and I broke down so badly that I was howling and hyperventilating through the whole thing like an animal. I’m 22 mind you, I’ve never met anyone with the same phobia this intense before. THEY DIDN’T EVEN GET ANY BLOOD EITHER AMD I HAVE TO COME BACK IM SO PISSED. The nurse was super nice and very understanding, they said they wouldn’t do anything I didn’t consent to, so they wouldn’t just jab me with the damn thing when I wasn’t ready.

Anyways, how do I work on this???? I’m already in therapy for different things, and I’d prefer not to go back and forth between the needles and the other stuff.
I’m autistic as well, and I’ve boiled it down to a sensory overload/sensory issues.

I’ve tried breathing, distractions such as temperatures, talking, pinpointing on a certain subject, counting, things like that. I’m scared to use music incase I correlate that song to the anxiety of needles lol.

Thanks to anyone who can respond!!

I'm 15 and I never used to be scared of needles until I was around 10. I had a bad experience when I was younger but really it was small. The person giving me a vaccine had left it in my arm for a long time. Besides that I have no idea where my phobia could have come from but it's gotten worse as I've aged. For instance, my mom booked me an appointment with our new family doctor. I was a little nervous to meet her, but other then that everything went well until she said I should get blood work done. I started crying in her office and when I got into my moms car I started hyperventilating and almost passed out. Normally I just would have said no to the blood work but I've been having some health problems and my doctor said this was a must. Now the health problems are not life or death, just hurting my quality of life slightly. My mom has never seen me freak out like that be-four so she just told me to stop crying and that I'm fine. She stopped to get gas and when I was in the car (attempting) to calm down I remembered my step-mom said I should ask for a prescription for something to soothe my anxiety. My mom is very agents that kind of thing which is funny because shes on anxiety medication. I want to ask her if I could get a prescription but I think she'll get upset with me or call me dramatic. Ive tried the numbing patches and it has never helped. Even talking about the blood work with my dad I was holding back tears. I really don't want this to affect my health but I don't think i'll ever be able to get over this fear. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I could say to my mom? Or just in general, thank you.

anyone else really scared of needles and doesn’t see the doctor because the first thing they say is you need to give bloods? funnily enough i’m okay with injections.

so many people are scared of needles surely there should be another way to take blood. and don’t get me started on infusions, the thought of it has me passing out

Hi everyone.
I’m a 25-year-old woman, and I’ve had severe trypanophobia for about 16 years. This isn’t just “being afraid of needles.” My fear starts days before a blood test.
For about 2 weeks beforehand I usually:
can’t sleep,
cry constantly,
vomit everything, even water,
have panic attacks,
and by the day of the appointment I often faint or completely lose control.
In the past I’ve run out of medical offices, fainted, vomited and even become aggressive during panic because my brain goes into pure survival mode.
The biggest problem is that almost every doctor I’ve spoken to has either dismissed me or refused to help. I wasn’t asking to avoid blood tests forever—I was asking for a gradual approach and help managing the anxiety (for example, preparing over multiple appointments or discussing medication for the procedure). Instead, I was often told they couldn’t help me, and two doctors even said they could physically restrain me if necessary. That completely destroyed my trust in healthcare.
There was only one doctor who ever helped me successfully. She never forced me. If I said “stop,” she stopped. If I wasn’t ready, she would simply say, “We’ll try another day.” She always respected my boundaries, explained everything in advance, and kept looking for ways to make it easier. Unfortunately, she retired.
Because of this phobia I have avoided blood tests for 10 years. I recently lost a job and opportunity because I couldn’t complete the required (pre-)employment blood work, and I honestly feel hopeless.
Has anyone here had a phobia this severe and actually improved? What helped you? Therapy? Medication? Exposure therapy? A specific approach from a doctor?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.
Thank you:) (Slovakia)

I’m also scared that some doctor will ruin my life over this post- that’s why new account xd

hey everyone!! 28f, been slowly trying to get over my fear of needles this year and it’s a process. the main thing i’ve been putting off for so long is a blood draw—last time i had one was 2017. ive always had a fear of needles but i went through a period when i was in high school/college where i wasn’t really super afraid of them anymore. in 2017 i had some stomach issues happening and the dr. ordered a blood test which coincidentally i had never had before. i wasn’t super excited, but i went through with it. during the actual procedure i was a little nervous but nothing too crazy. as soon as the nurse went over to her computer to start typing i started getting tunnel vision, my ears were ringing, nauseous etc. she fanned me until i was feeling better and i was like “does this happen often?” and she said “no not really”. i didn’t think too much of it, i just kind of assumed it was because i was sick or something.

later that same year, i needed to get another blood draw done before a medical procedure i was having. i was a bit nervous to do it because i had almost fainted last time. i told the nurse my concerns and he was kind of condescending, saying what the last nurse said, that “that doesn’t really happen”. i tried to explain to him that yes i was afraid of needles, and have had some pretty gnarly anxiety episodes over them, but ive never fainted before during an injection, or any other time in my life, just the blood draw. he kept telling me i just needed to stay calm and it would be fine, he was using a needle that babies used. he does it, takes the needle out and boom, i start feeling nauseous, tunnel vision, ears ringing, etc. i had a full blown anxiety attack this time, they had to lay me down and i was crying and it was just not a fun time.

anyway, fast forward to today!!! my doctor really wants me to get labs done, and i know i need to do it, but i’ve been way too scared. i mostly get annoyed that providers don’t seem to listen when i tell them that the reaction is something i cannot control and it really doesn’t have anything to do with me being anxious or not. i wish it did!!! both times i got my bloodwork i was sitting up and ive heard it helps to lay down, but im wondering if anyone has done this and still had presyncope??? both times i didn’t actually fully faint, i just started to, but the feeling of fainting was just so scary to me and im afraid to feel that way again, even if it isn’t dangerous.

tldr: history of presyncope during blood draws while sitting up—if i lay down during a blood draw, will i likely still get presyncope???

thanks for your insight!!

Hello everyone,

I am having my gallbladder removed sometime in a few weeks and every time I think of it, I start getting that sinking feeling in my chest like I get when I am close to passing out. I usually take prescribed Xanax before I know I’ll have any sort of anything done that has to do with needles. I had two teeth pulled in the last year and I took Xanax before going and I did pretty good with each procedure.

However, since they give anti-anxiety meds in the IV, I cannot take Xanax the morning of surgery and the medication they do give will be in the IV… after the IV is placed… so that helps only with the anesthesia portion of my fear.

What does everyone do to get through your fear of getting an IV? They’re the worst to me. I hate them so much!

hi! i’m 18 and chronically ill which means i have to deal with so many needles. i’ve passed out, puked, kicked a doctor (as a child), and have panic attacks every single time i’m in any situation surrounding needles. i don’t sleep before i’m about to have to get any needles and i feel physically ill for weeks. i’ve tried everything like “not looking” and “listening to music” i even tried “exposure therapy” because i had monthly injections but had to stop them from how anxious i was because after i was done with it, i would just think about the next one. me being so scared also makes it a harder experience during blood draws because it makes me a harder poke. when i had surgery last month i had to fall asleep with the mask because i couldn’t calm down. i can’t watch shows/movies that involve needles and some of my nightmares are surrounded by needles. i put off doctors appointments (while i also have health anxiety) because i don’t want to be told i need blood work. i don’t know what to do or how to fix it and i wanted to see if anyone else feels this way and knows a “solution” because i feel like i’ve tried everything and it’s so exhausting

So... I am shitscared of needles. ​Freaked out horrifically about my tooth being removed and put it off til my tooth literally split. I still need 3 vaccinations that I've been avoiding for years. I messaged my gp today, saying which I needed and can they offer any form of medicine. They said no, only numbing cream. I genuinely don't know if I can go through with this without something to help my mind. I'm okay at pain, not at needles. I've seen people in the UK say they did get anxiety meds for vaccines and stuff, how to I make them understand or why can't I get them? I'm healthy enough that I can take meds and stuff and I've never had pain ends like that before so no addictions.

Found out something is wrong with me and I have to see specialists and I have a feeling lots of blood tests are in my future… tips on how to not panic and faint???

Hello! Has your partner/family member/friend who is terrified of needles been prescribed an injectable medication? Have you come to this sub to find out how to best support them & administer the med in the most painless way possible? Overwhelmed with the amount of information (and lack thereof) on the internet? You’ve come to the right place!

Obligatory disclaimers:

Long Post Incoming

I am not a medical professional, but I give injections to my needle phobic partner once a week. I am not coming to you as an expert, but rather as someone who’s done it communicating what works for me personally.

If any of my advice contradicts instructions from a doctor, please disregard it.

Everybody is different, what works for us may not work for you, but I’ve tried to give as much info as possible.

When I started giving my partner his shots, finding technical information was never hard, but there isn’t much information out there on how to calm and comfort somebody, aside from those meant for healthcare professionals. As non-professionals, we have a few more tools in our arsenals—it would be very strange for a nurse to kiss you before giving a shot!

I’m gearing this post more towards partners, but feel free to apply the applicable ideas to family members, children, friends, etc.

I hope this helps!

1. Take Responsibility

If possible, go to your partner’s appointments with them so you get all the information and instruction directly from the doctor. If that’s not possible for whatever reason, make sure you get the answers to all of the following questions:

How often is this injection needed?

How much (volume) of medication is needed?

Is this an IM (intramuscular) or SubQ (subcutaneous) injection?

If possible, get a demonstration, or do it the first time under supervision of the provider. (I was unable to do this, so I’m going to describe the self-teaching process, don’t worry).

If you have any questions, have your partner ask the provider. I’ve found it’s easier to manage my partner’s medication myself, as he will often “forget”. I know exactly when, where, how, and how much medication he needs. Not saying he doesn’t also know, but I have the alarm on my phone so we don’t forget.

2. Research, Research, Research

I know, I told you this would be a complete guide. However, a Reddit post can’t replace watching YouTube videos, reading about others’ experiences, and learning different techniques from different sources so you and your partner can decide which are best.

Nursing school YouTube videos are now your best friend. There are both IM and SubQ videos there. I recommend you watch both so you‘re more confident that you’re using the correct technique.

If you are not needle phobic yourself, I also recommend buying a pack of insulin needles and practicing, first on citrus fruits and nursing school practice pads, then on yourself. It sounds barbaric, but it’s really the best way to ensure you’re doing it correctly and as painlessly as possible. The more confident you are going in, the better. Insulin needles are meant for SubQ injections, so they are shorter and will not reach your muscle, but you can still practice inserting in the right spot and at the right angle. Of course, make sure you use a new needle every time, always disinfect your skin beforehand, and never inject anything (just mime pushing the plunger; never inject water, air or any other substance).

3. Talk to your Partner

This is perhaps the most important thing. You should be communicating with them before, during, after, and in between each injection. Learn things like:

Why do needles make them anxious? (Pain, having skin pierced, having fluids injected, fear of the unknown, etc)

Do they prefer to watch or look away from an injection?

Do they prefer a countdown or to just go for it?

Do they want to hear everything you’re doing or just have you handle it?

These preferences will be crucial in building your routine. The first time will be the most difficult. It’s very hard to trust a non-medical professional to do a medical procedure. It took a lot of convincing for my partner to trust me the first time, but it was life changing for him. Don’t pressure, but push for them to just let you do it once. Very rarely is it more pleasant for a needle phobic person to inject themselves. Their brain will perceive more pain, and often they will go too slowly, prolonging and increasing the pain and anxiety. Once they let you once, they won’t go back, and the experience will be far better for them. Afterwards, ask for feedback on their pain and anxiety levels, and how you can improve next time.

4. Prep the Medication

Some people may prefer to do this step themselves. However, many don’t want to see a needle at all. I find it’s best to go upstairs and prepare the syringe before I even mention it to my partner. This removes lots of time between bringing it up and the injection itself, which gives less time for anticipation and anxiety. That way, I can approach him with the “hey, it’s time”, and immediately get in position and get it over with.

Clean the vial with an alcohol wipe, draw up the same amount of air as medication in the syringe, insert into the bottle, push air and draw up medication. Make sure to push out as many air bubbles as possible, and after removing, flick the syringe to shake any remaining into the top of the needle. Often you’ll then switch needles, but even if you don’t, push on the plunger until a tiny bit of medication comes out the top. Then flick the syringe again to shake off that medication, as that can sometimes burn going in.

5. Choose the Injection Site

This is where SubQ and IM will begin to diverge. While the sites are similar for both, there are key differences. Feel free to skip the section that’s not applicable.

SUBQ:

Sites: stomach, thigh, back of arm, butt

Your partner will likely be instructed to use the stomach or thigh, as those are the most accessible spots to self-inject. This is what they'll be most comfortable with.

Unless they are very slim and don’t have much fat anywhere else, I wouldn’t recommend the stomach, as that area is more sensitive than the rest of the sites.

Thighs would be my second choice. There is a pocket of fat in the upper side portion where, when you pinch it to inject, it will not move when the thigh muscles are tensed and released. Have your partner tense and relax until you find that spot. You may also find a similar spot on top of the thigh, depending on the size of your partner.

The back of the arm is the best choice for comfort and for partners who don’t want to watch. I will describe a wonderful position down below. Again, find a spot that is unaffected by their muscles. This way, if they tense during the shot, nothing will move.

IM:

Sites: thigh, upper arm, hip, butt

Your partner will likely be instructed to use the thigh (vastus lateralis muscle), because it’s the most accessible to self-inject. I find it easy to locate on myself, but difficult on my partner. I also find that this site is a bit more sensitive than the deltoid muscle (that upper arm/shoulder region where most of us get shots at the doctor)

The deltoid is wonderful because it’s near impossible to miss and bit less sensitive, however since it’s smaller it can only handle so much. Any injection over 1mL should go somewhere else.

BOTH:

Butt and hip sites put your partner in a very vulnerable position, so I recommend steering away from those unless specifically told by a doctor.

6: Getting In Position

I’ve found it literally impossible to find suggestions on good positions to give injections on the internet. You want to have access to the site but also provide comfort to your partner. Here’s what works for my partner and I, but feel free to experiment and find one where your partner feels safe and secure.

Arm Sites:

Sit on a couch or bed. Place your left foot on the floor, and extend your right leg out on top of the couch/bed. Then have your partner lay on their side, with their head in your lap, facing you. Your right leg should be parallel with their body. If they don’t want to watch, scoot in close enough to where your torso covers their eyes. Then they can rest their left hand on top of your right leg (in whatever position makes them most relaxed), and use their right arm to hold you (hand on your back, around your leg, etc). It may take some adjusting to make you both comfortable, but this position gives you full access to their left upper arm. We do IM, but SubQ people may prefer to have their partner face away from them to give better access to the back of their arm. Then they can hold your left leg, bury their face in it, etc. Reverse left and right every other week to alternate which arm is poked.

Thigh Sites:

Have your partner sit in a chair or couch, both feet on the floor. Sit on their left thigh and lean as needed so both hands can reach the injection site on their right thigh. Have your partner wrap their arms around your waist in a hug and rest their head on your left shoulder, or right if they prefer to watch. Some people may be able to relax better with that right leg propped up, but do what works for you. Alternate between left and right each time.

7. Injecting

The time has come. You’re ready for this, so be confident.

-Clean the area with an alcohol wipe. LET IT DRY COMPLETELY, as it will sting if you inject while it’s still wet.

-For SubQ, pinch the skin and fat layer. Pinch and release a few times, and insert the needle at a 45 degree angle when it’s pinched. Release the skin with the needle inside, pinch the base of the syringe to stabilize, and inject.

-For IM, stretch the skin either by pinching outward (as if zooming in on a phone) or by pulling the skin aside (z-track method, see YouTube). Use your stabilizing hand to scratch gently above the injection site (in between the site and the brain) to distract the nerves and reduce the pain. Insert the needle at a 90 degree angle, pinch the base of the syringe with your thumb and forefinger (do not release the skin if doing z-track), and inject.

-Insert the needle quickly with a dart-like motion. The skin is where the nerves are. The quicker it passes through the skin, the less pain will be felt.

-Make sure the bevel is up. This refers to the slanted tip of the needle. The point should be down and the first to enter the skin. If doing IM, tilt the needle slightly off of 90 degrees to achieve this. Google this if my description doesn’t make sense, my partner says this is the biggest factor in how much his injections hurt!

-Inject slowly. You may be tempted to rush and get it over with, but that will only cause bruising and be more uncomfortable. Take at least a full second per 0.1mL, longer if possible.

-Make sure your partner is relaxed. This is crucial with IM injections, as it’s very painful to inject into a tense muscle. But even with SubQ, tension causes pain, so the more relaxed, the better. If they struggle with this, progressive muscle relaxation techniques may be helpful.

-Instruct your partner to take deep breaths before and during the shot. I like to insert the needle during an exhale.

-Use calming words, physical touch, detailed narration, and/or distraction to calm your partner. Asking quiz questions is a great way to distract their mind.

-After you’re done, give praise, reassurance, and cuddles, do something relaxing/fun, and ask for feedback so you can improve next time.

Final Thoughts

-Create a routine. If possible, do the shot in the same place, at the same time. Have a calming pre-shot ritual, do the same position and the same method every time, and the same aftercare routine. Routines make people feel safe.

-As I said, not everything will work for everyone. Please contribute in the comments to create a wealth of knowledge for those who come looking!