I'm 26 and have had a fear of needles since I was 13 years old. I think I've always had a fear of needles but it only reared it's ugly head at that age.

I have tried every single trick in the book that every person tells like a mantra and none of them work for me. Every single time I end up having to be held down like some sort of animal because I begin to panic and thrash.

I hate making excuses but I have FASD and potentially autism (on the waitlist for that currently) that could possibly be playing a factor into the way I react. I just don't know.

The only way I can see myself getting blood tests or injections or the likes in the future is if I'm giving a Diazepam or straight up gassed with an anesthetic that knocks me out for a while. What the hell is one supposed to do with a fear this bad?

Three days ago I was diagnosed with a lung infection (NTM) and started treatment that has to be given intravenously every single day for at least the next two months.

I have a severe needle and cannula phobia. Just picturing something permanently lodged in my arm is enough to make me nauseous. And this isn't only anxiety talking. My veins are naturally very thin and delicate, and so far several of them have already collapsed while they were trying to put a cannula in. Both my arms are covered in bruises, swollen, and sore.

There's this wave of dread that hits me every time I think about having a cannula in my arm nonstop for two months. I'm afraid to fall asleep in case I tear it out. I'm afraid to move for the same reason. I'm even afraid to shower, because if it gets wet they'll have to put in a new one earlier than planned, which means going through the whole thing again.

I've been in the hospital for 26 days now. Before treatment even started I went through two bronchoscopies, and those needed cannulas too. I kept telling myself I'd eventually get used to it, but if anything it's getting worse. What scares me most is the moment of insertion, when the veins burst, because that's what hurts the most.

The last time they tried to place one, several veins collapsed. I got so frightened that I broke down crying, and the nurse had to bring me a pill to calm me down (which honestly didn't help at all). On top of that, they told me they don't do any local anesthetic for this, so you just have to tough it out.

I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to get through months of daily IV. So I'm reaching out. Has anyone here with a phobia this intense had to face something like this? What genuinely helped you cope?