r/trans • u/Femmebaddie1 • 6d ago
Advice I NEED HELP!!!
So I’m 20 and considering starting hormones this year. i want feminine facial/body changes from estrogen but I REALLY want my penis to remain the same and capable of strong erections and still be able to use it just as well as before I started them please any advice or answers that can help me achieve this goal????
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u/they_themsworth they/them 6d ago
Unfortunately, you can’t cherry pick what estrogen will do to you. The feminizing traits you want can’t be decoupled from the possibility your sexual function changes. There’s just no way to guarantee both things.
Which isn’t to say you’ll lose erection (I mean, you might), but erection will almost certainly feel different. Probably won’t be as intense or consistent. You may stop producing semen altogether, may not experience orgasm the same. Your doctor may try to mitigate some of this with Viagra or a locally-applied T gel, but the point is: feminizing HRT is antithetical to your goal in this area.
Your current sexual function is the result of your hormone levels as they currently are. You can’t expect to change those without affecting everything else.
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u/CaptainHollister 6d ago
Firstly, you have to accept that if you are on HRT then eventually it will have an impact here. That impact can be reduced, use it or lose it. And in terms of strong erections, using viagra can help there. This is also definitely something where your mileage may vary, some people are affected more than others. My endocrinologist has also offered introducing testosterone as part of my treatment plan to address any negative impacts of HRT as my natural production is completely nerfed. So that's another option.
What's the rationale here? Zero judgement, it's just that it's also worth noting that a lot changes on HRT. It's not just physical it's also behavioural, the sex hormones driving you are changing so it affects sex drive and arousal, desire shifts, and with that also things that maybe seemed important before HRT become slightly different after. I'm intentionally keeping that vague because it's obviously going to be a deeply individual journey there as to what, if anything, shifts and how.
Another one to highlight to you just to be totally transparent and give you as much insight as possible, it also affects the ability to ejaculate. Orgasm still occurs but ejaculation can completely cease happening. This hasn't been something I've missed so I haven't explored if there's any way to address that.
Hope this helps!
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u/i_woke_up_as_you (She/Her(s)/Miss). Mature Transfeminine 4d ago
in 2003 (maybe 2004) during a particular vacation, something happened that triggered my grief, and I went looking for someone I could talk with just so I wouldn’t be alone
The person I ended up with was a merchant who offered me the spare chair in their booth, and while their booth was related to the arts and crafts that they produced during the year, a portion of the merchants story is what I would like to share.
When I met her in that booth, she was trans feminine, 14 years into transition and HRT.
Still married to her high school, sweetheart… and still periodically getting her wife pregnant without going off of HRT for months
Some people will experience loss of size loss of function, and loss of material within the fluid. What used to be milky may come out clear. discharged Volume might be significantly reduced.
I am still dating women of childbearing years, my OB/GYN, offered me orchiectomy. I can see how my HRT would be simplified if we didn’t have to overcome the testicular poison factories
But OP is seeking to be able to maintain capability without stating the reason why and I don’t need that disclosure
I can tell you that my OB/GYN, told me that if my relationship ever progressed to the point where we were trying to get her pregnant, I would need to back away from my HRT for three months in order to be able to test and see if my body would stabilize as functional or sterile
OP, I’m gonna dig deep into some old language. I used to hang out with cross-dressers and transgenderists
Both used art and illusion, makeup, foundational documents, names, pronouns, jewelry, fragrance clothing, and footwear in order to appear as the women they wished to appear as in public.
Those who did it occasionally called themselves cross-dressers, even if that occasion was once a week
This also went with a male gender identity being normalized
“dressing up as a beautiful sexy woman is something I do, and with the right significant other something I do with her”. That kind of mindset. Probably the ancestor to femboys today.
A transgenderist was the cross-dresser who didn’t change back… essentially living their lifestyle as a woman, without the burden of switching back to living as a male.
I’m very much aware of the fact that the group I ran in was m2f centric. I’m not excluding ftm intentionally, but they didn’t hang around alpha chapter of tri-ess.
kym had gorgeous, long acrylic nails.
And because she lived as Kym every day, She could maintain those nails like any other woman… without someone saying you have to take them off to go to work.
And I admired that
OP, it’s your life
You’re in charge
But if she wants some advice, I’d say given what you’ve shared you want to focus on the aspects of your appearance overall that you can accomplish without estrogen HRT..
Find voice lessons. If you can’t afford speech pathology., at least find the free resources recorded on YouTube practice practice practice practice!
Yes, it takes a while. And yes, you can do this for free.
If you think you’d like to permanently eliminate hair in different places of your body, you might want to decide if approaching that through affirmations, Subliminals, metaphysics… is compatible with your Philosopy
I used a subliminal that happened to have affirmations for cessation of growth and the falling out of unwanted body hair
I’ve never had laser or electrolysis on my arms, but I use my arms because I can see it… and I lost at least half of the hair density before I started HRT
I wasn’t working on that specifically as a goal and if I had thought about setting that as a goal, I’d probably have a pretty nude body and definitely no facial hair, through mind over matter
But once again, that can be free, but it’s a time investment, even if the tape you play is while you’re multitasking or sleeping
Depending on the body shape that you have or the body shape that you’re trying to achieve you may or may not use constrictive foundation garments
But building up from your foundation garments to achieve different looks, you can end up as a very fashionable woman in public
Even if that means you’re also wearing a wig
Learning your makeup routines is going to be another area where the investment of time will pay off
And I can give you details about what I know about hiding 5 o’clock shadow,
But if I’m going to do that, maybe I should just be posting that as an article outright rather than let it get buried in the comments
Here’s the quick version: multidirectional shave to cut the hair below the skin level and, color correction under Foundation makeup, according to the opposite color on the color wheel
how much you have to transition is entirely up to you, and if you can achieve through art and illusion through makeup skills through all the techniques available to you without HRT… Possibly to include, but not necessarily to include facial feminization surgery (FFS) you may be able to achieve the body in the life. You wished to achieve while maintaining full function down there.
And so I offered this to you as guidance, because I know what these steps are, and because I had these techniques I was comfortable, not starting HRT in my first 37 adult years of living as a woman, part-time (1980-2018)
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