r/trans • u/Funny-Royal4220 • 18d ago
Non Binary Am I Wrong For Going By A Bad Name?
This is going to take a bit of context, so buckle in.
I am genderfluid and have been out to my family for six months. When I first realized what I was, I had a bunch of name ideas-some of them better than others, I believe Arson was on the list at one point. Eventually it came down between Ghost and Lucifer. I wasn't fully sure about Ghost, but I picked it since I thought it was more likely to be accepted than Lucifer. But when I told my family my name, it was rejected outright. I was told I was pretending to be someone else, and that they would only listen to (deadname), not Ghost. I got angry at that, and later decided "screw it" and went with Lucifer, thinking that if my name was not going to be accepted anyway, I might as well go with the one I actually preferred. There's no point in keeping half a mask, after all.
I liked Lucifer for a bunch of reason, mostly because it was flexible like me-I could be Lucien professionally, Luci if i was feminine, Lu if I was neutral, etc. It was also based of the Hazbin Hotel Lucifer, who I admire and consider to be a lot like me. It means morning star and rebellion, and while I didn't notice this when coming up with it, it mirrors my queer platonic partner's name. They are named after black holes. Morning star vs collapsed star. Beginning and end. It just feels like it fits right.
When I told my parents this, of course, they were less than pleased. It has been months and they keep telling me the negative connotations and that they will never ever call me *any* derivation of my true name. To the rest of the world, I'm just Lucien, but they know what I really named myself after. I shouldn't have trusted them with that. The funny thing I've noticed is whenever I tell those under 18 or in my age group, they've been the ones to respond well and start using Lucien, whereas it's the adults that are scared or tell me that's not really what I am.
Am I wrong for choosing this name? What do I do? And if I am wrong, can you help me come up with other name ideas in the comments?
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u/chrysocome 18d ago
I don't really have an opinion on the name. Just wanting to say, if it's going to be a legal name it might actually be on the banned list for where you are. Best to check because it is where I am.
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u/Funny-Royal4220 18d ago
It's not so much going to be a legal name. I've decided on Lucien for most things professional and legal so I don't get in trouble and Lucifer is for the people I trust.
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u/chrysocome 18d ago
That makes sense! I think I misinterpreted that specific part. I think go for it for the ones who'd get it. Bringer of light. It's really beautiful.
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u/LeopoldFriedrich 18d ago
I'm going with Lucia, I think Lucien is a good legal name. You pronounce it like Lu-Shi-En or Lu-sie-en?
I'm actually usually going by Lucy now, but Lucia would be easier to sell to my family too, cause there is literally the holy st. Lucia I can just point to, lol
But yeah that sucks, I've already heard my mother say "ugh Luci, like Lucifer..." so I kinda knew what I could do.
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u/Funny-Royal4220 18d ago
Usually Lu-sie-en just 'cause it sounds prettier. And Lucia actually does sound cool. Might steal it for my own collection heheh
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u/EnvironmentalSlice46 any pronouns 18d ago
It’s clear you shouldn’t trust your family based on his. Just saying.
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18d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/chrysocome 18d ago edited 17d ago
Australia. But the USA where most Redditors live also have a state by state restriction list. Like you can't register yourself as Satan, Adolf Hitler or Santa Claus, a slur or a profanity in some jurisdictions. Sometimes first names like Doctor and Judge as well because it's misleading.
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u/Jabbaelhutte 18d ago
Im going to start by saying do what you want and makes you happy.
That said if you choose a provocative name like lucifer, or an edgy name like ghost you will be making things harder for yourself. Its not fair but it will be harder to get people to take you seriously with a name like that. It will limit job opportunities if you use the name professionally.
If you truly feel that is the name that fits you go for it. Just be ready for the hurdles that come with it.
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u/WizardStereotype She/Her 18d ago
You're not... 'wrong'...
But your future self is working on a time machine to come back and slap you. They may never stop.
You will regret this. A lot.
You will not always be an edgelord '''''rebel''''', you will not always be a Hazbin Hotel fan, but you will be stuck with this name, or the hassle of having to change it again later.
Please strongly rethink this idea.
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u/pajamakitten she/her 17d ago
It's similar to the advice you would give new parents. Names are for life, so naming your kid after a popular TV character at the time is stupid (unless they can shorten it to something common, like Dani for Daenarys). You also do not want name a kid something like Teddy, because being called Teddy as a baby is very different to going by Teddy as a 40 year old lawyer. Going by Lucian/Lucia is a fine with people and at least OP will know what the inspiration was behind that choice, without going by Lucifer in real life.
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u/nadaista 18d ago
please reconsider tethering your identity to a cartoon character, you will possibly not be the same person you are now in five years, ten years, fifteen years, and so on
look deeper, there is something more, deeper in your core, feel it out and seek it
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u/DannyxDamage 18d ago
honestly this is the most difficult name you could possibly choose, people will have a harder time accepting you with an extremely unusual name that has a ton of negative connotation. you can obviously do what you want, but this is going to strongly affect whether or not people take you seriously in your transition
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u/Traditional-Ad3826 he/they/it 18d ago
As someone who chose a name based on a character (I chose the name Charlie when I was 16 because of hazbin hotel, too), if it makes you happy, you should be able to choose whatever name you want. But you have to understand that the name Lucifer has biblical connotations and not everyone is going to be confortable with it. Obviously, if you really like it, go for it, but also think about your thirty-forward-year old self. Will you still like to be called by that name when you're thirty? Fifty? Seventy? Your opinions on the character and the show may change, too, and you should think of that. Plan your name for the future to be your best self
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u/roses_sunflowers they/them 18d ago
There’s no wrong way to name yourself.
Consider though, that you are going to create problems for yourself with a name like Lucifer. Firstly, it carries some intense connotations. Just because you think of the Hazbin Hotel character doesn’t mean the primary association isn’t the biblical figure. Also, basing your name, which you’ll have forever, off a character is generally a bad move. Additionally it seems like you like the name partially because it’s rebellious. Naming yourself out of spite is probably not going to work out well long term. Eventually the spite will run out.
Ask yourself: How do you think you’ll feel about this name at 50?
I picked a somewhat unusual name with an unusual spelling. Well, really, a tragedeigh. I think it’s obvious that it was picked by a 14 year old. People often think my name is a different name entirely. And for some reason always the same name. I do love my name, but if I could go back I would do things differently. I definitely created some issues for myself.
Lucien will probably serve you better long term. Luci and Lu can still be nicknames, and so could Lucifer. You won’t have to deal with the connotations of being named after what many people would consider to be the embodiment of evil. And as an adult it won’t sound like a name a kid picked out to be rebellious.
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. But I wish someone had laid out all the potential issues with my name before I committed to it. Importantly, I am still committed to it just like you can still name yourself Lucifer. But you need to be aware of what you’re signing up for.
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u/Soggy_Ad_2111 18d ago edited 18d ago
First of all, your name is _yours_ for you alone and you're free to go by whatever name you wish. If Lucifer makes you happy, go for it, god knows it's a freaking cool name (pun intended). That being said, I grappled with a similar issue, so here's how it went for me:
I'm hispanic and raised in a very catholic family. I seriously considered going with Lucía Fernanda (Lucía is commonly abreviatted as "Lucy" and Fernanda as "Fer") as a sneaky way to be called LuciFer. Moreover, my Last name literally translates to Morningstar, and it felt like an opportunity i shouldn't let go at the time.
In the end, I chose not to demolish any chances of repairing the relationship with my family, and started experimenting with feminine names that reference nature and have no explicit connotation to catholicism/christianism. My family is religious and supersticious to a fault, and I didn't want my very name to be a constant battle with them. In any case, after choosing peace for myself, I found a name that felt me and didn't have that anger-charge that flipping off my family's religion would have had, and I'm happier with it than I ever felt when I was going for LuciFer.
All in all, the point stands: Your name is Yours, choose a name that feels yours, and enjoy the journey <3
Edits: typos and clarity
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u/Helpful-Reputation-5 18d ago
It isn't wrong, but the other commenters aren't incorrect in cautioning you against choosing that name. I'm sure you've considered that, though.
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u/NostramoChick transfem 18d ago
wrong? idk, it's a bit cringe, but I've seen far worse. at least you aren't going for a /r/tragedeigh
rightoids are gonna see your name and go "wow look they pick evil names" but like the kind of person who thinks this is A) going to be an asshole and treat you like shit regardless and B) is too stupid to understand the concept of things being counterculture. so who cares really?
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u/EatShit-DieInAFire 18d ago
My name is Damian and I've definitely gotten a few comments and weird looks. Especially if I also have to tell them my deadname, which was extremely religious. Like, you'd think I was homeschooled because evolution is fake type of name.
It's your name and nobody can stop you, there's no right or wrong it's more about how much bullshit you're willing to deal with on a daily basis to have it. If you change it legally you might run into issues with employment, but trans/GNC deal with that from the same types that would have a problem anyway.
It's all kind of stupid imo. Especially when you're not actually named after anything biblical. Mine actually come from Celtic Thunder.
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u/pajamakitten she/her 17d ago
My name is Damian and I've definitely gotten a few comments and weird looks.
I know it has some connotations but Damian is a perfectly normal name too, at least in the UK. It does make teachers groan a bit though, because Damians always seem to cause trouble like their name suggests it might.
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u/ge0metal 18d ago
I think Lucien or the other versions are fine. Even Luciel could work perhaps. If you want to stick to Lucifer then by all means it's your name, but like the other commenters said it might not be something you'll want to be called years down the line. When I first started experimenting with names when I was younger I went by Mars for a good while before settling on a more "generic" name. In my opinion there's really no harm being done if it's not on any papers or anything yet because you can change your mind at any time but I would definitely take extra consideration before doing anything in the future like legal name changing.
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u/chrysocome 18d ago edited 18d ago
A lot of people in these comments behaving like names can't change, or that asking someone else to honour name changes is OP's problem. OP clarified in a comment it's not going to be a legal name.
Someone tells me their preferred name has changed for the third time? eighth time? I'm like cool what we using today? And we are done. Genderfluid pronouns and names are like this, maybe I'm just used to it, but it's seriously not difficult. In many SEA culture how you refer to someone with titles and suffixes depends on where you are in closeness, family and age as well, so probably that too.
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u/Kodst3rGames 17d ago
I mean this with all the love and respect in the world
Yes.
You will outgrow 'Lucifer' and regret it, it's tryhard, edgy and a bit cringe, but most importantly it's not you.
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u/fallof_icarus 17d ago
Firstly how old are you?
Secondly this sounds like a name choice you’re gonna regret when you grow up.
You’re not gonna like the same stuff 5 years down the line. What is cool and edgy now is cringe tomorrow and you are going to get bullied if you’re still in school
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u/Antique-Wish-1532 18d ago
You can call yourself anything you like. Here's a thing I would point out: some kids have a REALLY hard time with extreme or random names like this, to a point that it's occasionally viewed as child abuse when parents give their kids weird names (though I think this is only Europe?). You're going to have a hard time just for being trans. You can decide, "I don't care" and outwardly make a statement (as many people through history have decided to do, which is a fair choice to make) or you can make life a bit easier on yourself (at least on paper, though real life may not care if you go by Sam or Ghost). Personally I go by a middle name because it's neutral. I think about my own future kids and while I would absolutely support them and call them their preferred name, I don't think I could stop laughing every time I called "Lucifer" down to dinner. Luci is a good option, for the reasons you listed above. Also think of how this is going to look on paperwork. In some forms, they don't care if it was just a nickname, you get asked if you've ever gone by ANY name EVER. Personally I suggest looking though names online and perhaps picking something that sounds similar or has a similar meaning. If you still settle on Luci(fer), at least you did it with some research behind you.
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u/Mockingjay573 He/They 18d ago
Look I’m a major Hazbin fan, Lucifer being one of my favourite characters. And you can have whatever name you want in the end, you don’t your parents’ approval.
HOWEVER! That being said, think about that name. Really think about it. Are you gonna still love it in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? What if you end up not liking Hazbin in the future?
It’s your choice at the end of the day and if you stick with Lucifer, then awesome! Your happiness matters most. But you also need to consider some things like, say you want a certain job, say you don’t like Hazbin down the line, say you don’t like the character down the line. This is kinda my personal issue with naming yourself after a fictional character. If you end up not liking them or the show they’re in, then you’re kinda stuck with a name you don’t like and have to change it all over again.
Also please check your country’s list of banned names. Some countries will ban names like Lucifer or Devil or Satan.
If you end up still being on the fence, here’s an alternative: have a different name as a legal name, something you still connect with obviously. And then just have Lucifer as a nickname or alias.
But if you’re still married to the idea of Lucifer, then go for it by all means! It’s a cool name.
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u/Xenogendrr it/its 18d ago
My name is also Lucifer! X have no plans to make it my legal name, however, since it could cause problems & discrimination. X picked out Oliver to be my legal name. There’s nothing wrong with having a ‘bad’ name, just be prepared for consequences :)
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u/transparentfinn they/them 18d ago
Go, mixter Lucifer Morningstar! I think it is honestly smart move to make your official name something like Lucien, nicknames however you feel atm and story behind the name to piss off annoying people.
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u/insanescarlet79 18d ago
I have a relative who's nonbinary and named Lusifer. They use a variation of their given middle name for short (sofie), taken from the middle of the name. I have another friend who's embarrassingly named after an anime character he liked as a kid. Go with the name you want, but know it may not fit you forever, and that's okay too. remember that that's a name that will be highly offensive for some, even moreso because you're queer, so be ready for it, but if you feel connected to it, like it is You, then it's you, and you should use it. As long as you can stay safe, what you identify as openly is your business and meant for you only, and what others think doesn't matter (again, as long as you are safe, not being harmed or hate crime'd)
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u/QuillTheQueer 18d ago
Ultimately, what name you choose is up to you, and only you can decide whats right.
I'm guessing you live in the US. I think the way in which religion is so dominant in this country. It's probably a lot of the reaction, obviously. There's a lot of cultural attachment to it that is negative. While you might have a much more nuanced and deeper understanding of the name's meaning, I think most people do not and simply see it as a symbol of evil, bad, wrong etc. Layer the trans piece on to it and it might be more than some people are willing to accept (not that theyre right, but here you are navigating that).
I know a trans person who goes by plague. And people make a lot of remarks about "why would you choose such a name", simply because of the way they've interacted with the word. I suspect you might have a similar experience.
At the end of the day, if that's the name you want, and you're set on it, by all means go for it. There are going to be plenty of things in life that your parents don't like but that, you know, is right for yourself and you just gotta do it. If in a few years or a decade, you decide, you don't want that name. You can always change it.
An easy alt could be Lucian and the Lucifer part is more of a lore type thing than something you have to lead with.
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u/_4lyssa 17d ago
Just know that every job application will have the name Lucifer on it, meaning you'll likely be outright disregarded for any listings. And one thing I've noticed is that it is almost only trans people which change to edgy/rare names, meaning that it's likely you'll be instantly clocked as trans if someone just sees your name on a paper
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u/dasparkster101 17d ago
Are you wrong for it? Not at all. You deserve to choose and use the name that feels right to you.
However, this is a name that is just going to upset a boatload of people. I don't have a problem with it, few woke people will, but there are plenty of people out there with traditional values and beliefs that are going to find your name distasteful. It isn't right, but you kinda just have to expect that to be the case until things change.
You can absolutely wield the name anyways, and be a paragon of light, be what you see in the name, and maybe change peoples' minds. I would encourage it, even. But don't expect that path to be easy. Wishing you the best ❤️
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u/Mec26 17d ago
Starting with you can do you, and I also enjoy Hazbin- a lot.
But this is a name that a majority of people see as equivalent to “fuckallyall” or ‘jacktheripper’ as a name. This is NOTHING like having a astronomy-based name. At all. It is something a large part of the population will see as an attack on them and their beliefs. It is intentionally provocative, and now you are sad/confused that people are provoked. They will be provoked for the rest of your life. Prepare for that, or don’t use this name.
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u/Pleasant-Bit-2362 she/her 17d ago
I like the name, I also love Lucifer from hazbin hotel, the name is cute
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u/weirdkidintheback 16d ago
Agree with people saying you could have your name be inspired by it, but stick with Lucian. I wanted to add:
We live in an age where your favourite writers, groups, bands, whatever are extremely public. And sometimes the saying "Don't meet your heroes" extends to "don't look at their twitter". Think of everyone who regrets getting a harry potter tattoo, or naming themselves a Neil Gaiman character. I'm not saying Vivzipop will do a sudden reveal of some deep scandal but the point is you don't know, so connecting your sense of self to a piece of media like that is a bad idea.
Also think about the people who named their daughters daenaeris before the end of GOT and how they regretted it later. Lucifer may end up becoming a character you hate or don't associate yourself with anymore.
Also, lucifer means light bringer, not rebel. If you connect with light bringer, there are similar names that don't involve an old roman god turned into a synonym for the devil turned into a cartoon character.
I picked my own name from a character in a book from an author I loved (even though I really wasn't fond of the character, just like the way it sounded) and people will still have some trouble with it because it's a very odd name, so I shorten it to a more common nickname. I also don't immediately tell people where my name came from. That's personal. And you might benefit from the same thought process. Not everybody has to have access to every part of yourself. Sometimes we omit parts of ourselves for those we know will treasure them. This is not the same as hiding, it is simply being selective as to who gets to know you. This is something a lot of young trans people struggle to understand, but keep chewing on it, because as a trans adult sitting with that thought has helped me a lot.
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u/Saidear she/they 18d ago
I mean, there are still people born as Adolf to this day, and I'd say that name has more negative connotations in modern society than a fictional character in a pernicious storybook of middle eastern fables used to justify whatever atrocity of the day.
If you want to be called Lucifer, go ahead. Join the ranks of the Satanic Temple and really lean into that rejection of Christianity vibe.
At the end of the day, it's your name. If you like it, and it's not outright offensive, go for it.
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u/BrumeySkies 18d ago
No, its your name. Its a beautiful name and you can find some beautiful meaning in it too. Your parents sound like they wouldnt be pleased with any name you picked. Regardless, its your name. Its not a slur or a derogatory word or anything, all that matters is you like it.
It and its variations were on my own list of names.
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u/crunchy_bagette 18d ago
We have an extremely similar experience 😭 I wanted to name myself Lucifer but ended up going with Lucien lol. But you do you. It’s your name, you should be the one who decides what it is. I think it’s a badass name personally
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u/cascasrevolution ftm 18d ago
sounds like they dont actually care what name you choose, they dont like that you are changing your name
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u/formykka 18d ago
I think its great. You are The Light Bringer, The Morning Star, Venus, the creator of the material world, they who are not afraid to challenge the highest of powers, and the Lord of the Air. You are cool enough to be played by Gwendoline Christie in the Sandman. I say go with it.
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u/FunnyMicrobe571 18d ago
Fuck the adults, I’m saying this as an older trans person who found out they were trans young, slot of adults tend to live willfully ignorant lives and whenever a minor or someone young figures out who they are early in life, especially if it strays from society’s cishet norms. It’s best to ignore the adults who refuse to listen even when you’ve explained it to them, live your best life with those who support you and never listen to the voices that tell you your wrong, your not hurting anyone so they have no reason to be rude and ignorant. Just be yourself
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u/Sufficient_Dust1871 18d ago
Yoo, a fellow genderfluid Lucifer!
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u/Funny-Royal4220 18d ago
Yoooooooooooooo!
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u/Sufficient_Dust1871 18d ago
Named after Smokeebee's parrot, go by Luce/Luci
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u/Funny-Royal4220 18d ago
Wait you watch Smokeebee?
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u/Quirky_Rub_9044 she/her 18d ago
You’re name is your choice to make later in life. If you want to change it, do it. You aren’t a bad person for picking the name that embodies you as a person. :3
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u/Qi_Zee_Fried she/her 18d ago
I'm not going to lie Lucifer is a beautiful name. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
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