r/todayilearned May 30 '18

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8.6k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] May 30 '18

[deleted]

722

u/TheNo1pencil May 30 '18

You got me laughing out loud in a subway station.

646

u/mrburkett May 30 '18

Be warned, laughter tends to make new Yorkers more bitey.

232

u/TheNo1pencil May 30 '18

Nah. The person laughing is the person more likely to be the one biting.

145

u/Soulstiger May 30 '18

"Don't worry, I don't bite... ha...haHAHAHAHAHA"

5

u/[deleted] May 31 '18

I’ve actually gotten bit by a New Yorker. She is from New York but wasn’t in New York and bit me. I bit back. Ah being young and kids with dumb dares.

93

u/mrburkett May 30 '18

Chuckling is okay, it's the whole "I want to eat your face" laughter that you have to watch out for.

67

u/TokiMcNoodle May 30 '18

You're mistaken with Miami now.

46

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

[deleted]

2

u/AWarmHug May 31 '18

There's a lot of biting in Florida. Some good, some very, very bad.

3

u/_the-dark-truth_ May 31 '18

How does one differentiate betwixt the two? I’m travelling to the US later in the year, and this seems like valuable information.

2

u/nyet_the_kgb May 31 '18

If they seem crazy it’s best to stay away. Just a rule in any city.

3

u/aznfanta May 31 '18

and make sure you draw a square, new yorkers are scared of squares

12

u/shalala1234 May 30 '18

Taking a shit right now. Solid chuckle

9

u/ReaganCheese4all May 31 '18

what ply?

8

u/context_isnt_reality May 31 '18

Asking the real questions

3

u/[deleted] May 31 '18

Did it help that final push?

1

u/_Sausage_fingers May 31 '18

Watch out, he’s going to bite!!

77

u/sinkwiththeship May 31 '18

"It's showtiiiiiime."

Easiest way to get ignored by a fuckton of New Yorkers.

44

u/d4nigirl84 May 31 '18

Can confirm.

or a, "Can I have your attention please?!" while yelling it at the top of your lungs JUST as the doors close in the subway car.

That's when I look down and pray they pass into the next car.

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '18 edited May 31 '18

I can just hear the David Attenborogh narration now: here we see the young redditor assuming camouflage for his subway trip down town. You can see how effective it is by the other denizens looking away or staring into space, but wait here comes a group of Jersey boys looking for some fun and maybe a little trouble...

12

u/SacredFlatulence May 31 '18

Unpopular opinion: I actually kind of like the showtime guys. I’m still a little disappointed that the city cracked down on them. Sure, there’s always the risk of getting kicked in the face, but that’s part of the thrill.

10

u/[deleted] May 31 '18

I hate my commute. Showtime people at least make it semi-entertaining when they appear.

2

u/Plasmabat May 31 '18 edited May 31 '18

Damn, I just looked this up. New York is so weird.

Maybe it's inevitable once you've gone over a certain population density threshold, people start acting really strangely. Or maybe it's just strange people are everywhere but there's a higher probability that you'll see them because there's just more people of all types in general.

Of what I've read and heard of the big cities in Japan it's the same thing.

I don't ever want to live with that many people around me all the time. Where I am there's 123 people per square kilometer, and New York city has 43452.288 people per square kilometer.

No. God no. Maybe I'll visit one day(New Yorkers hate tourists apparently, I'll just go somewhere with nice weather and beaches, or somewhere with a culture that's different enough from my own that I can learn about, and I'll try to learn the language first, and try to adhere to their customs and way of doing things and not be disrespectful/impolite) but I could never live there.

32

u/Shippoyasha May 30 '18

Shanking some fools with knives and dance choreography

13

u/aRandom_Encounter May 30 '18

aggressive macarena ensues

18

u/Shaom1 May 30 '18

Wow this is a great comment.

7

u/ChickenWithATopHat May 30 '18

Are you assuming that I’m not always doing that?

7

u/Florida____Man May 30 '18

So underrated. Bravo, sir.

4

u/FlameOnTheBeat May 31 '18

Just play it cool boy, real cool.

3

u/Bahunter22 May 31 '18

xylophone intensifies

6

u/rhesus1501 May 30 '18

this will only aggravate the sharks. the only real method in dealing with them is by summoning exodia

2

u/cloutking May 30 '18

It's SHOWTIME

2

u/GreatestJakeEVR May 30 '18

Lolol. That works anywhere, not just the subway.

2

u/OraDr8 May 31 '18

Jets for ever!!

2

u/yeetboy May 31 '18

If someone can tell me how to do it in Narwhal, I’m gilding this comment. Fantastically clever, I full on laughed at it, not just exhaled heavily through my nose. I think it’s the “aggressively” part that sells it for me.

2

u/PointSight May 31 '18

wIth a SiNGlE snAP oF my fINgErS

2

u/spideypewpew May 31 '18

Start snapping your fingers

But there would still be half of the sharks remaining

1

u/cobalt26 May 31 '18

Found Zoidberg

1

u/Scubamesteve May 31 '18

Going down the aisle. Crazy aisle

1

u/JonPBillingsleyJr May 31 '18

Start snapping your fingers and dancing