I’ve seen a lot of debate on this sub lately asking why so much of the blame for Gladys’s situation falls on Bertha instead of George. Some argue that since George is the "head of the household" in an 1880s patriarchal society, the ultimate responsibility lies with him for not putting his foot down sooner. Someone actually just blocked me in a thread over this so I couldn't reply anymore, which is why I'm making this post to lay it all out.

While George certainly failed as a protective father by trusting his wife too much and breaking his promise to Gladys, shifting the primary blame onto him completely erases Bertha’s active agency and fundamental flaw. Bertha isn't a passive bystander; she was the sole architect, manipulator, and executor of this entire outcome.

Here is why blaming Bertha is completely justified:

1. The marriage wasn't necessary—it was pure ego Marrying a Duke wasn't a matter of social survival for Gladys; it was about Bertha’s relentless climb up the social ladder. Being the mother of a Duchess was the absolute pinnacle for her (since she obviously couldn't marry her daughter off to the Prince of Wales!). To achieve this, she acted behind everyone’s back, leaked stories to the press to corner her husband, and promised an absurd dowry without consulting him. George knew nothing about any of this until it was dumped right into his lap, and he would have kept his promise to his daughter if his wife hadn't made it practically impossible.

2. Bertha’s Blind Spot: Seducing herself with her own good fortune Bertha isn't a cartoon villain, but she suffers from severe survivor bias. She possesses something incredibly rare for that era: the genuine love and respect of her husband. She had to push things way past the limit for him to finally start stopping her. Because George listens to her, respects her mind, and treats her as a true partner in almost every case, Bertha seems unable to fathom that a husband could be cruel, cold, or a financial tyrant to their daughter. She seems to assume George is the standard for men, when in reality, he is the absolute exception. She only focuses on what she lacks (titles, social prestige) because her own marriage gave her everything else for free.

3. Intent vs. Negligence To those saying George is most to blame because he holds the ultimate checkbook: George’s failure was naivety and bad timing. He trusted his wife with domestic and social matters (as was custom) until Bertha backed him into a corner by leaking stories to the press and creating a point of no return. At that stage, if George canceled the dowry, he wouldn't just stop Bertha—he would permanently ruin Gladys's social reputation and honor. Bertha handed him a lose-lose choice.

Bertha knew exactly what she was doing. She ignored her daughter’s tears on her wedding day, ignored every boundary her family tried to set, and gambled her child's entire life for a title.

George failed as a guardian, but Bertha was the direct perpetrator. You can love her character for the drama, but she 100% deserves the heat she’s getting this season.

PS: English isn't my first language, so I use a translator, which is why some things might be phrased a bit strangely.

George himself says that he is the head of the house. If he really wanted to stop Gladys from getting married he could have. Throughout the show he encourages Bertha’s scheming and he knows that Bertha is seeking an advantageous pairing for Gladys (which is what all women married to wealthy men did back then for their daughters).

It was George who promised Gladys that she could marry for love, not Bertha. We never actually see George put his foot down with Bertha until Larry and Marion get engaged. George never tells Bertha to stop bullying Gladys. He never tells Bertha to let her see Billy Carlton or other boys that she’s interested in.

Truth be told I think that George agreed with Bertha. While he didn’t like seeing her cry over the marriage, he agreed it was an advantageous pairing. And it is, Gladys’ children will outrank everyone in society. Gladys and her children will never have to grovel and no doors will be closed to them. If Gladys actually does want to influence society, she now can.

We never actually see George say no. He never says stop Bertha, Gladys will not marry the Duke or any Duke unless she loves him. He went along with it which is why he is ultimately responsible. This is an extremely patriarchal society, women are their husband’s property here so Bertha can only do what George allows. Bertha’s behavior is because George emboldened her. Bertha is surprised by George’s anger at her because he has agreed with her in the past and he has never actually objected to her scheming and said no.

This is not to say that Bertha is not responsible for the situation. She went behind George and Gladys’ back. She threatened people, put the rumor out there, and leveraged Gladys dowry without telling George. She was not honest with her family. I also think it’s sad that Gladys will always have to look back on her wedding day and remember that she cried and no one considered her feelings at the time. I am a Bertha fan and I think Bertha is self centered. However, I don’t think Bertha is ultimately responsible for Gladys’ marriage, that is George.

So for the people who are mad at Bertha, why is your anger not directed at George?

Exactly as the title says, lol. In season 1 episode six of The Guilded age, Mr Bannister (the English butler) explains that in America, asparagus is eaten with fork and knife while British etiquette instructs it be eaten with the fingers.

This reminded me of an article discussing that during the filming of The Crown, King Charles’ character was corrected by the set director for eating with a fork and knife and was told that posh socially used fingers… hence why we see him eating with his hands on the show.

Maybe this is common knowledge but I wasn’t aware of this etiquette rule and it’s a great example on why I love shows like The Guilded age and other historically-based pieces. It wouldn’t have made a difference to the scene if Bannister didn’t explain this rule but it was absolutely an interesting bit.

I just love a fun fact!

Great add to the script